http://blip.tv/xortb...ritique-6056537
SO. It's about a week overdue, and woefully inadequate considering I only covered one facet of one chapter so far, but I decided that trying to fit a full review of everything into a single video would be ridiculously long, so instead I'm just gonna go through and give each chapter a technical (punctuation, spelling, format, etc.) rundown, and once I'm done with all that I'll run through again and delve into the other aspects of writing. I'm doing it on Blip because your chapter 2 review went on 21 minutes or so of me rambling, so Youtube is out of the question.
I really dislike my voice, and need to go on a big English-studying spree so I can learn the actual rules and how to explain them well, and the video quality is kinda crappy and there's some background noise. But, it's all on the way. Just be a little patient with me :3
EDIT: OH MY GOD UNDYING SHAME. Congratulations is spelled with a 't', not a freaking 'g'. I knew this, and I still failed massively until I just now saw it written somewhere.
Brb, seppuku.
2
Starfox Genesis
Started by
TCPeppyTc
, Dec 26 2011 10:21 PM
26 replies to this topic
#26
Xortberg
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- Members
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The Feathered Companion
- Personal Text:AH HA!
- LocationBot lane
Posted 30 March 2012 - 07:07 AM
Quote
[8:59:05 PM] The Charismatic Solo Laner: Fureox is a Man Manipulator
[8:59:27 PM] Xort: Brb, renaming Fureox
[8:59:48 PM] The Charismatic Solo Laner: ^ Same
[9:00:00 PM] Engie: you people are such sluts...
[9:00:37 PM] Man Manipulator: There's a whole lotta ass manipulating going on in this room.
[8:59:27 PM] Xort: Brb, renaming Fureox
[8:59:48 PM] The Charismatic Solo Laner: ^ Same
[9:00:00 PM] Engie: you people are such sluts...
[9:00:37 PM] Man Manipulator: There's a whole lotta ass manipulating going on in this room.
#27
TCPeppyTc
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- Members
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- 359 posts
CDF Sergeant
Posted 31 March 2012 - 04:17 PM
Chapter 6.
In an apartment, in downtown Corneria, lived Simon Oikonny, Andross' younger brother. While his brother was famous, he was inconspicuous. While his brother was ambitious and restless, he was more or less content with his station. Simon respected authority, and Andross always seemed to have little use for the rules, whatever they might be. They were complete opposites.
As successful as Andross was, Simon did not envy him. He was perfectly content with his middle income job and anonymity. He had a wife he loved and a 2 year old son Andrew. He was just kicking his feet up on the sofa when he heard a knock at the door.
In an apartment, in downtown Corneria, lived Simon Oikonny, Andross' younger brother. While his brother was famous, he was inconspicuous. While his brother was ambitious and restless, he was more or less content with his station. Simon respected authority, and Andross always seemed to have little use for the rules, whatever they might be. They were complete opposites.
As successful as Andross was, Simon did not envy him. He was perfectly content with his middle income job and anonymity. He had a wife he loved and a 2 year old son Andrew. He was just kicking his feet up on the sofa when he heard a knock at the door.
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