Indeed, indeed. Its nice to see some of you again. To the others, hello, nice to meet you. You're not familiar with me but I've had a long history with the site you're on, I hope it means as much to you one day as it did to me.

Its been how long? Months at least, maybe since September. Where have I been? I'll put it bluntly. Leaving SFO shot me into the best months of my life. I doubt it was a direct result, but I find myself wondering why I've taken to returning.

That's not a rhetorical question, I don't know.

But I can guess. If this was the old AJC I'd be expecting a prodigy son type welcoming upon my return, I don't.

Let me blunt, I'm staring at snap chat. My snap has been unopened for 55 minutes. Weird since I responded immediately...

Its been opened, I sore for a few seconds, a few minutes, an hour.And then down and down and down I glide and before I know it I've been slamming into the ground.

Still, no response.

All this time it had been my heart soring, but its become so low that I've found myself choking on it. I've bolted from sleep, lifting myself to net as much oxygen as I can. Except, I don't rise. Like a lead brick it pins me down from inside my rib cage. And so I lay there, and my eyes dart along ceiling, hunting for meaning, for purpose and reason. But all there is darkness. So? I still hunt, there can't be nothing.

*sighs* And so....Maybe its hopeless. But if it is: I want to know. I'll ask.

and maybe that'll put the bullet it what ever is lurking in the darkness.