One of the greatest walls of texts I've ever seen.

[Vy'drach]

It's prone to a few repeats worded differently, but this cracked me up so much.

Ak AR MOSIN

AK: crack.

AR: ka-sproing.

MN: BOOM!

.

AK: simple to clean, any 3rd world peasant can do it.

AR: Takes three weeks of training, special lubricants and LOTS of patience.

MN: What’s cleaning?

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AK: if it breaks, take apart another guys rifle and cannibalize parts.

AR: If it breaks send it to the armorer because he needs 27 different tools to take it apart.

MN: What’s break mean?

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AK: bayonet is a useful tool for cutting wire and close in fighting.

AR: bayonet looks neat on one of your 15 rails.

MN: bayonet can reach across a river and nail the guy on the other side.

.

AK: 3†groups at 100 yards are good.

AR: If you spend 2500$ you can shoot 3" groups at 300 yards.

MN: the sights go to 1200 meters and you’ve tried it.

.

AK: bullets have been known to penetrate cars.

AR: bullets have been known to penetrate cardboard.

MN: bullets have been known to penetrate barns in the next county.

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AK: if you run out of ammo your rifle serves as a good hand-to-hand weapon.

AR: if you run out of ammo you rifle serves as a good paperweight.

MN: if you run out of ammo you rifle serves as a fence post, tent stake, table leg etc.

.

AK: can be comfortably fired from a foxhole.

AR: jams from the dirt found in a foxhole.

MN: point it at the ground and fire Instant foxhole.

.

AK: doesn’t jam after being buried in a lake for a year.

AR: jams from refrigerator lint are common.

MN: What’s a jam?

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AK: considered a badge of honor if you set your hand guards on fire.

AR: considered a badge of honor if you hit anything past 300 yards.

MN: considered a badge of honor if you cycled a full mag without the help of a 2x4.

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AK: bullets can knock down a man sized target.

AR: bullets can knock down squirrels- sometimes.

MN: bullets can knock down telephone poles.

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AK: excessive firing can start it on fire.

AR: excessive firing makes it melt.

MN: excessive firing requires a trip to the emergency room.

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AK: cheap magazines are easy to find.

AR: cheap magazines melt.

MN: What’s a magazine?

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AK: recoil is easily manageable.

AR: What’s recoil?

MN: recoil has been known to require trips to the chiropractor.

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AK: muzzle flash is large.

AR: muzzle flash is dwarfed by all the rails.

MN: muzzle flash sets the range on fire.

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AR: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning .

MN: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945

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AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside

AR: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600m

MN: You can hit the farm from two counties over

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AK: Your safety can be heard 300m away.

AR: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.

MN: What's a safety?

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AK: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling

AR: Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system

MN: Your rifle has dog collars

.

AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter

AR: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife

MN: Your bayonet is longer than your leg. .

.

AK: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can hit it

AR: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100m with 30 rounds

MN: You can knock down everyone else's target just from the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.

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AK: When out of ammo, your rifle will nominally pass as a club.

AR: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great whiffle bat

MN: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood. .

.

AK: Recoil is manageable, even fun.

AR: What's recoil?

MN: Recoil often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot..

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AK: Your sight adjustment goes to '10', and you've never bothered moving it.

AR: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.

MN: Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.

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AK: Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.

AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nation’s most illiterate conscripts.

MN: Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.

.

AK: You paid $750 .

AR: You paid $1900 .

MN: You paid $59.95 .

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AK: You buy cheap ammo by the case.

AR: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one. .

MN: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine. .

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AK: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.

AR: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.

MN: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your fox hole. .

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AK: Service life, 50 + years.

AR: Service life, 40+ years.

MN: Service Life, 100+ years.

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AK: Its easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes .

AR: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.

MN: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends if he suggests there is anything but 762x54r.

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AK: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.

AR: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, it's under warranty!.

MN: If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.

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AK: After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".

AR: After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".

MN: After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.

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AK: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka.

AR: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and Apple Pie.

MN: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shish kabob.

.

AK: You can accessorize your rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.

AR: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.

MN: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it’s buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.

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AK: Your wife tolerates your autographed, framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.

AR: Your wife tolerates your autographed, framed picture of Eugene Stoner.

MN: You're not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.

.

AK: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!â€

AR: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room. .

MN: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.

AK: You wait just long enough for the trigger to come back before firing it again.

AR: You wait 6 hours between shots to get your sight alignment just right.

MN: You and 5 friends try desperately for 30 minutes to get the bolt back open so you can fire it again.

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AK: Is useful to third world countries as a weapon.

AR: Is useful to Special Forces operatives as a platform for their tac-lights, lasers, scopes (infrared/night vision/or 99x120mm) can openers, laptops, car keys, coffee makers, MP3 players.

MN: Is useful to all sorts of people like baseball players, construction workers, fishermen, lumberjacks, cold people, and amputee’s.

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AK: Likes wolf.

AR: Refuses to eat anything but the finest hand loads.

MN: Thinks ammo ages like fine wine.

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AK: can be made by any 3rd world country.

AR: can be made if you have complicated milling machines and a lab for synthetics.

MN: can be made in the back of barn by a polish guy named Boris using a file.

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AK: makes a H&K look like a cadillac.

AR: makes a H&K look cheap.

MN: makes a H&K look sick when shooting at 500 yards.

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AK: you rifle has a butt.

AR: your rifle has rails.

MN: you rifle has dog collars.

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AK: tactical=spray and pray.

AR: tactical=using your 1500$ night vision scope to score a hit.

MN: tactical=making the bad guys think they have come under artillery fire.

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AK: bullets can take out large game.

AR: bullets can take out varmints.

MN: bullets can take out low flying aircraft.

[sroberson]

I'm feeling really derpy..what does "MN" stand for?

[Vy'drach]

Mosin-Nagant, it says at the top Ak AR MOSIN

[CrypticQuery]

Ha! You just can't beat old tech in certain respects. :P

[Synapsepilot]

My friend got a Mosin from the late 30's for his birthday. On the stock he discovered that one of the previous owners had carved four tick marks, most likely to keep track of kills .

Gotta love Russian engineering!

[Vy'drach]

A lot of that is truer than you think, such as "MN: You can hit the farm from two counties over," since the Mosin iron sights go up to 2,000 meters.

To put that in perspective, the farthest confirmed kill is 2,475 m.

The reason the iron sights go out that far, is because a common tactic in the trench warfare with the Mosin was they had everyone volley shots towards the enemy trenches, and just hope rounds fall on people.

My friend got a Mosin from the late 30's for his birthday. On the stock he discovered that one of the previous owners had carved four tick marks, most likely to keep track of kills .

Gotta love Russian engineering!

I've heard of those. Mine was made in '43, and doesn't look like it saw any service.

Also, Russian engineering was alright, they had some good gun designs, took some good designs from others, but in WWII (and largely to this day), nothing beat the German designs. The Mosin's bolt system is considerably more complex than the bolts of other rifles of that period, and didn't offer any real advantage over the others, and the Mauser's bolt action is in service to this day (Not on the Gewehr 98k, however, new rifles).

Could be worse, though. Could be British engineering. With the exception of the Webley Revolver, and the Accuracy International rifles, I have yet to hear of a well designed British gun. Things such as the Lee-Enfield and Bren gun, aren't British designs since Lee, who designed the action, was Scottish American, and the Bren gun is a Czechoslovakian design.

[ballisticwaffles]

Ahem, Scuse me sir, but England designed this beauty

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_Bess

Suck it.

[Star_Dragon]

LOL!!!

That was funny. As. HELL.

[Arashikage]

Simo Hayha used the Mosin Nagant. That's good enough for me.

[Vy'drach]

Ahem, Scuse me sir, but England designed this beauty

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_Bess

Suck it.

Okay, so three guns.

Simo Hayha used the Mosin Nagant. That's good enough for me.

More a variant of it, the M/28 "Pystykorva", which is shorter than most other Mosins, but that's because Hayha was 5'3"