Mellow Walrus Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Oh boy, I just dug up some of my old stories when I plugged my Windows 98 back in. (Back when computers were powered by a steam engine) This was going to be a Zelda fic either called Twin Swords or Twin Souls, I went back and forth between the two of them all the time. I'll just go with Twin Something-Or-Another for now. Man, I could probably make an MST out of this. I'm sure you fellows out there wrote a bit of crap like this when you were younger too, don't be shy about showing it off - - - - - - - - - - - - - Prologue The king of Hyrule was sitting at his desk, in a throne, and was filling out some paperwork. He dabbed his writing feather into a bottle of ink, and resumed reading and signing contracts, deeds, etc. Meanwhile right across his desk, there was a paranormal circular shadow on the floor, although nothing above was making the shadow. It looked more like a bottomless pit. The king didn’t notice, due to the fact of the desk blocking it and his concentration to the paperwork. Suddenly, a figure jumps out from the shadow, then the shadow shrinks until it becomes nothing. The king then lifts his head up and glances at the figure. It had dark blue scales for skin, blood-red eyes that illuminated like fire, and was bone skinny. He wore a black robe with a hood. The king’s eyes widened open in fear. The figure ran forward and chopped the desk in half, bits of wood and papers flew in the air. He shoved away one half of the broken desk with his left elbow, and the other with his right. He pointed his right hand toward the king. Red lightning shot from his palm, electrocuting him severely. The king shook uncontrollably with the lightning running through his body. An image of his skeleton was seen flashing through his skin. The figure ceased his lightning. The king became absolutely still moments later, although there was still a little electricity still flowing through him. He leaned to the right and fell off his throne, and was lying on the floor on his back. He wasn’t showing any signs of motion or breathing. His eyes were open and not blinking. It was official. The king of Hyrule was dead. The door creaked open. A guard making his daily rounds walked in and saw the king on the ground, and the figure in the black robe. By instinct, he pulled out his crossbow and fired at it. The figure didn’t flinch, nor even turn to look at him. The guard ran out for help. Moments later, a man in golden armor walked in, along with several other soldiers. The figure finally turned and looked at them, and the soldiers backed a few inches away. “I wish you no harm.†Said the figure. “You savagely murdered our honorable king,†replied the man in gold armor, “You are a threat to all in Hyrule. You are charged with a death sentence.†“He was going to cast the land of Hyrule into a flood.†“Do you expect us to trust you?†“Certainly, for I have brought witnesses.†Three more circular shadows open up, and Link, (Wind Waker) Tetra, and Linebeck rise from it. Link and Tetra appeared around thirteen or fourteen years old, and Linebeck appeared to be somewhere around his late thirties. “They are probably only just hired to back him up with lies,†said the man in golden armor, and he then turned to Link, “And why do you wear the green tunic of Link?†“Cause’ I am Link!†he remarked. “Mind your mouth, kid†scowled the man, “Now, allow me to introduce myself. I am Admiral Lou. And who are all of you?†“Ezador,†said the creature in dark blue scales. “Linebeck,†“Tetra,†“Now, I’m going to send you each to separate rooms with no contact with each other,†Said Admiral Lou, “My associates will ask you a series of questions.†Some other guards took them to far spread sections of the castle. They all asked the same questions. Several minutes later, they return to where the king was murdered. “We have results,†proclaimed a guard, “Link, Ezador, and Tetra’s answers were the same. They claimed that Gannon returned and the king cast the land into the sea so he wouldn’t enslave us all.†“What about Linebeck?†“He wouldn’t answer the questions,†“And why not?†“He refused to give information for he loved the sea and believes the future should be left unchanged.†“So they come from the future?†“Affirmative.†“I’ll discuss with Rauru later…Why didn’t Ezador just explain this?†asked Admiral Lou. “He assumed that you wouldn’t believe him,†answered the guard, “ That’s why he brought the witnesses.†“…Send Zelda, she can sense their auras and see if ‘Link’ is of the bloodline of the heroes.†“Uh… about that…†mumbled the guard. “Spit it out, soldier.†“Ezador… is heading to see her…†“What!?†shouted Admiral Lou, “Look at what happened to our king!†“There was nothing we could do sir…†“Cowards!†shouted Admiral Lou. He stomps toward the hallway leading to Zelda’s bedroom. At Zelda’s bedroom, Ezador walks in through the door. Zelda is looking out the window into the night sky. “I had a vision that you’d be here,†said Zelda, whom was still looking out the window, “I know you come from the future, you killed my father so Hyrule won’t be cast into flood.†“…You are the heir to the throne,†stated Ezador, “You shall be the queen of Hyrule, and we need you in this desperate hour. Defend Hyrule, and don’t let it fall in the grasp of Gannon. A hero is going to emerge, and he is going to defeat Gannon once and for all. Never forget what you’re fighting for. Keep those words close to your heart.†He walks away and exits the room. Admiral Lou storms through the corridor that Ezador was passing. “If you did anything to our princess, I swear to the goddesses…†threatened the Admiral. “I respect your determination to protect her under all costs,†complimented Ezador, “All we did was have a little chat.†“You have a lot of nerve to cause all this confusion!†“What is so confusing,†questioned Ezador, “trust me, we’re going to save Hyrule.†“What do you mean ‘We’,†beckoned Admiral Lou, “We are not in this together!†“So you have no heart to save the land of Hyrule?†“How dare you! Do you know how much I have sacrificed to this kingdom!? Do you have any idea how much blood I shed in combat to protect its citizens!? I should have you executed!†“Leave him alone, admiral,†said Zelda, whom was approaching from behind. “We are not to claim that he is a menace, for he has done us no harm.†“He coldly murdered your father,†“We will miss him, but he would have flooded our land,†“Did he get into your mind?†“I had another dream,†“…Very well then…†he groaned. He turned to Ezador although he didn’t look into his eyes. “Zelda’s dreams always come to pass into the future. We have no choice but to trust you.†Ezador smirked a grin, “I’m glad I got through to you†“I’m watching you.†He warned. ((I can't tell if this is the real end of the chapter or this is the spot where I ran out of muse. I particularly like the specific details about how Ezador used his elbows XD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjrathbun812 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Well... this is crap, but hey. I wrote even worse stuff before, lol. There's no point in really criticizing it now, seeing as how it was written years ago, but I'd still like to point one thing out: The thing that confuses me most is that hardly any emotion was expressed toward the King's death. Not only was the task of killing him unbelievably easy, (you'd think there would be guards with the King at all times,) but when the guard came in he wasn't even in a state of shock. He acted more like the enemy was a Chu Jelly intruding in the castle who did no harm. This certainly is not the only thing wrong with it, but it's one of the big issues I see in it. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gestalt Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Come now...its not that bad... This is what my instructor calls a journal draft...you clearly know what you're wanting to go down...becuase you've jotted down a plot...now all you need to do is act it out with words and add the emotion you want to come across. Writing is a process. You live and you learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellow Walrus Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Eh, I was kind of aiming for other fellows to post any kind of fic they dug up from long ago too, so we can all see how each of us have improved :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjrathbun812 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Eh, I was kind of aiming for other fellows to post any kind of fic they dug up from long ago too, so we can all see how each of us have improved Oh no, I'm not digging up that pitiful excuse for a fanfiction ever again! You can't make me! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gestalt Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Okay...i'll see if i can dig up a really bad one for you :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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