VG rant

[Xidphel]

I might as well ask a mod to rename my other thread to this since it's pretty much the same thing. But W/E.

This post is about Bomberman 64.

Awesome game... If not for the fact that to get all costume pieces, I have to get all 120 gold cards on HARD mode.

In 3 HOURS.

Seems complicated enough, right?

: WRONG!

Meet Cerberus: Hazama's pet. (Technically Altair's)

Why Hazama's pet?

HOMING MISSILES!

You pump up a bomb and he shoots them toward you. Naturally, you throw a bomb to destroy them. Simple enough...

Except for that one missile that dodges your bomb and embed itself up your ass.

Also, he loves to spam them.

Next crime: CONSTANT MOVEMENT!

Big bombs do 1 heart of damage to him. Naturally, you'd want to hit him with pumped up bombs. Unfortunately, when you throw it in his direction, he'll dodge it.

You can't pick up pumped up bombs.

But his favorite move is to ram you, stunning you and knocking your bomb off your hands!

Last crime: GOLD CARDS!

Here's how you get them:

1, 2 and 3: Destroy those parts:

4: Destroy the white orb.

5: Destroy him in a certain time limit.

Time is screwed up in this game. The time limit is 12000 which I guess is about 2 minutes. Also, the white orb appears when the 2 side modules (not guns) are up. If you get the gold cards from them before disabling the white orb, you can't get all 5 this run.

The most I got was 4. HOWEVER, by the time I get them, I either run out of time (I simply don't get the card. I can still continue) or I get missile-raped or trip over the drones' laser!

Also, I HATE THAT CAMERA!!!

[Xidphel]

Oh look. A dead topic. Imma revive it for the sake of today's topic:

Let's spare the story save for these two:

Hazama and Ragna the Bloodedge.

The former is a troll and a pain in the ass to use, the later is the final boss of the former's story mode. Both have this weapon called the Azure Grimoire, AKA Blazblue. Usually, when one activates it in the scene preceding the fight, they go into unlimited mode. Of course, both activated their respective Blazblue.

Only Ragna went unlimited.

And he's a HUGE pain in the ass in unlimited!

See, the blazblue has soul steal. In other words, life drain. Usually, he needs to hit me with his drive (A for 360) to drain my HP. In unlimited, his sword needs to make contact.

Weather I'm blocking or not.

And Hazama is a pain in the ass to use. Fortunately, I have stylish mode.

Unfortunately, it doesn't do much.

Stylish changes the fighting style to button mashing mostly. Instead of pressing C, forward C, down C, quarter circle D and C, I can just mash A until my opponent falls. However, the controller is apparently linked to Ragna's brain since the MOMENT I press the button, I get Inferno divider'd and Darkness Fang'd to quarter health. Even when I DO manage to make contact, it's ignored and I get tossed in the air like a ragdoll. Especially when I do my distortion drive.

Ah yes. Those. See, Hazama comes with 2 and one astral heat: Crimson's Infernal Rapture which kicks the opponent in the air and can be countered apparently. The other one requires my opponent to stay put. Eternal Coils of the Dragon Serpent which throws my opponent to me and lets me do a shit ton of damage to him. Unfortunately, Ragna's a mind reader and jumps the moment I activate it. Stylish layout lets me throw a snake at him and, if I hold the button down, active it. Unfortunately, he jumps towards me and my distortion drive misses and I lose half my heat gauge. Yes, it's long range (mid at the very least).

What about astral heat? That's a match ender. I need his HP bar to turn orange, I need 100% heat and it needs to be a match round. I can instantly fill the heat gauge but it has the same risk as pyro's phlog: I nead to taunt to activate it. You know what that means: Inferno divider-Darkness Fang.

So, tl; dr: AI RAGNA IS A CHEATING BASTARD AND I HATE HIM FOR IT!

[Xidphel]

And welcome back! Today, we shall discuss a boss from last post.

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Yes, Hazama makes a return. This time, however, he's the boss of the arcade mode.

Wait, what? Wasn't Ragna the boss last time?

Indeed. Bosses change with each characters. For Hazama and Jin, it's Ragna. For Mu-12, it's Hakumen.

Who is Hazama fighting at the end? Everyone else. For this post, we shall discuss her:

Meet Rachel Alucard. The vampire of the series. No, she doesn't Sparkle. She DOES use lightning-based attacks, though.

And is a bitch to use (and simply a bitch.)

See, stylish layout as discussed up there isn't a good idea here. Her best skills are laying traps with her tiny lobelia (lightning rods) then unleashing lightning on them. Her other tricks are launching...

A frog. And a pumpkin. dafuq?

Those things actually have use. See, the former shocks the opponent and the later can bash them with her drive, the Silpheed (wind control, let's her move her own projectiles, herself and the opponent a bit). Her final useful move is the electric chair which lets her block and shock the opponent.

Distortions include Baden Baden Lilly which has lightning strike the rods AND her location for massive damage and Tempest Dahlia which does full damage at full Silpheed gauge (4 charges.) Her astral is a close range and one can maneuver him with Silpheed.

Now that I've discussed the moves, let's talk about HOW F[CARNAGE SCISSORS] ANNOYING HAZAMA IS!

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The problems about how my button imputs control Ragna is present here meaning it's a PAIN IN THE ASS to hit him with ANY OF THESE MOVES! Added to that is that he DOES activate his Blazblue and goes unlimited. Perks include new combos, new distortion and life steal.

The new combo is Serpent's Benediction's moves WITHOUT Serpent's Benediction. What it does is that he prepares one of 4 moves with 214D (Down/Down-Back/Back) which is activated with either A, B, C or D. In unlimited, you don't need to activate Serpent's Benediction and the 4 moves can be combo'd. With the last combo shoving me in the air, he likes to use Hungry Coils to slam me on the ground.

Ah yes, that's another annoying move: Hungry Coils. The anti air and unblockable move. Takes a bit to recover from being slammed on the ground which leads to his Distortion #1: Eternal Coils discussed in my last post. Pain to block, pain to dodge, pain to avoid when I'm down. If it hits, I get thrown to him and slashed to Hell and knocked back. That last part is added to another move that nullifies my electric chair. It breaks guards and in unlimited, does the slashing part of Eternal Coils.

The other Distortion? It's THE most annoying move in THE ENTIRE SERIES! He teleports and knocks me on the ground. Teleport, knock me away. Teleport, Hungry Coils x5 and when I'm down, a simple kick to knock me back. It gets more insulting when the move would normally kill me. Normal distortions would announce "DISTORTION FINISH" as soon as my life bar is empty during the move. It still does that but if, say, one of the Hungry Coils would knock my life to 0, it leaves me at 1 HP until the final kick!

That wouldn't be so bad if I'd keep my distance, right? Avoid all this? 2 problems. His drive is Ouroboros which closes the distance in an instant where he can harass me very easily. Problem 2 is the heat gauge. One can fill it up by hitting or blocking. In unlimited mode which only Hazama is in this round, it fills automatically and fills faster than normal when I'm hit! A combo will almost ALWAYS end in one of the 2 mentioned distortions!

In a nutshell, Hazama is F[GAUNTLET HADES] ANNOYING in Unlimited! Rachel is a PAIN IN THE ASS to use!