I'd value your input here.

[Redeemer]

Hey guys. You've probably noticed that I went AWOL for a while. That's for a number of reasons, but recently, I'm silent due to something I did recently. Something bad, pretty unforgivable, and unfair to those who I did it to.

 

You guys, well most of you, know I had two cats, Reno and Nina. On Wednesday, I handed them over to a rehoming shelter. I have had them both since they were kittens, in fact - I raised Reno from when he couldn't even walk.

 

I've done nothing but cry ever since. I have nightmares about them and I wake up expecting them to be there. I come home from work and expect them to be there. And even worse, my two darlings are on the adoption website. Here's a link: http://www.dundee.cats.org.uk/dundee/adopt-a-cat/?cid=44983

 

I can't bear to look at it for too long.

 

I don't know why I'm pouring this out to you guys, I just feel like I need to write about it. Truth is, I would like your opinion on what I did. Did I do the right thing? Will they recover? Reno looks so scared in those photos, he always backed into a corner with his back turned when he was frightened.

 

When I woke up that morning, I had no intention of giving them up. It had crossed my mind a couple of times because my allergies to them (that only developed a couple of years after getting the cats) gave me an asthma attack once. R3dFiVe was there for that, and I think it scared him. But that morning, I was just cleaning out their litter tray and thinking to myself. I was mulling over how to get to Germany with them - which is a move I'm making in May/June, and I was thinking to myself "How can I find a pet-friendly flat? How can I get them over safely? How many trips do I need to make to move all my stuff?"

 

Finding a pet-friendly flat is hard, especially in the UK. I've been browsing flats in Germany online for a while now, and there were never any pet-friendly ones. I could have moved them over and hidden them as I always do - none of my flats have been pet friendly, but R3d and I both agreed on no hiding from landlords. Especially since this is the flat we're kind of settling down in.

 

I feel like I've taken the easy way out and just tossed my kitties aside for the sake of an easy life. Every time I think about them I burst into tears, and I can't even talk about them verbally or I break down. I think of all the things I could have done to keep them. Just look harder for a flat, take allergy meds every day and just clean the hair up more. It doesn't seem too troublesome, yet when I had them, it was those things that stressed me out. I didn't want to take meds every day, pay much more for a special flat or spend all my time cleaning just so I can breathe. Yet now they're gone, I'm more than willing to do this.

 

I'm more worried about Reno than anything else. He's a big baby - he's never scratched or hissed at me, ever. He's very shy with everyone but me, and wants nothing more than cuddles. I think Nina will be okay, she's a tough cookie and always has been, but there's something on my mind still. I worry that they'll get hurt, outside or in their new home, or anywhere. I'm freaking out in case their new owner doesn't look after them as much as I did.

 

Some of you will probably wonder what all the fuss is about. To you, they could just be animals that will adapt no problem, and believe me, I want that to be the case. But I had those two for years and years, and I have this horrible sensation that I've damaged them by having them taken from their home. When the collector was taking Reno, he yowled all the way down the stairs. I've never heard him make that noise before. I cried so hard then, I almost threw up. I never knew that crying hard could make you nauseous.

 

Others will think I'm overreacting to this, and fair enough. But at times, those cats were the only companions I had in my life. I've been very, very alone sometimes.

 

If anyone understands, then great. But please, give me your honest, even brutally honest input on this. Kick my ass if you have to. I'm absolutely desperate to feel better.

[Snys93]

   There is a part of me that says they're animals, but an animal can form a attachment almost the same as you or me.

 

   I'm not the kind of person that believes that "da lil' beasties" don't feel pain either. Granted, they lack our reasoning and anything else that makes us human. They are however precious little things.

 

   Let me get to the point: I was the same way when my little girl kitteh went too. Breaks my heart every time I think about it.

[DoctorAllosaurus]

I feel you on this one Deems, I've been in the same boat before (had to put my german shepherd down). It's not an easy decision to make and you'll always have that feeling of regret , but sometimes it's for the better especially in your case because of your health issues. 

[Sarita]

:C You did the right thing. It's going to feel like the worst mistake you ever could have made in the world, but you did what you thought was right for them, and that's always the right thing to do.

 

All my hugs, dear. :C

[Vy'drach]

I'm currently involved in a situation similar to this. Many years ago, we had a Bengal cat named Keppler. Then we moved into a much smaller home where space was very tight (my room was actually an uninsulated den), where we had trouble adjusting and Keppler wasn't being that good at adapting to it either. So we ended up putting him in the penny-saver and a family took him. My mom was reasonably fine with it for a few years, then suddenly a massive spike of depression that hasn't gone away since. I don't think my mom has regretted anything more in her life, and constantly cries over him. Mostly due to us not actually having to get rid of him, but doing it for the sake of ease. Since then she's probably spent a few thousand dollars in attempts to find him again, leaving no stone unturned.

 

However, your situation is a bit different in that you have a serious health condition to take into the matter. That's not to be considered something you're doing just for the sake of taking the easy route, as going on medicine daily for the rest of your life is a horrible decision since most medicines out there do more harm than good now-a-days.

 

As for finding a home, I know you don't want to sneak stuff past landlords, though that's something we've done, actually. We are not supposed to have five cats, yet we do. Of course that's a matter for you and R3d to decide if you'd actually be alright doing that, after all.

 

Sorry if the message isn't being reassuring or what not, but I'm not gonna lie or sugarcoat it. My mom regrets what she did immensely and sounds like it's the same situation with you. Now it's up to you to decide if it's something you could get over or what not.

 

My advice, see if you can find an acceptable way for you to get the cats back and keep them, if possible, one where your health and well being aren't in jeopardy, but if you can't find a solution, do not feel bad as while it may of been a difficult choice, it was certainly the all-around best choice, as you can not be killing yourself while living inside of a cardboard box just to keep the cats. That'd be cruel to all of you.

 

Sorry the message wasn't reassuring, but as I said, I'm not going to lie about it, though I'm sure plenty of folks here will think that I should have, which perhaps I should, but I went with the route I'd rather have done to me in the same situation.

[Harlow]

Well, even though I just skim-read through it (and the one in dA) , I'll be quick and won't sugarcoat.

 

(Mid-rant, feel free to skip this)

I don't understand why people are hyper-sensitive with animals to the point of being plain annoying. Sure you have to be respectful of living things, but it gets to the point that people don't even care to those guys anymore. Animals should never be a priority over soemone's well-being, that's when psychologically, things start failing.

(End)

 

First of all, it may have been bound to happen all this time. You should've thought that giving your cats away was a probable scenario when you decided to move to another country and then, it wouldn't have hit you as hard. All the extrawork needed to move your cats with you (not only to the house, but to yourself healthwise) may not even be worthwhile in the long run.

 

Also

 

I didn't want to take meds every day, pay much more for a special flat or spend all my time cleaning just so I can breathe. Yet now they're gone, I'm more than willing to do this.

 

And then if they stay, you wouldn't want to do all of that. It's a natural thing to think that way; it'll pass with time.

 

All that rough stuff being said, it's great you care about them. Don't think lesser of yourself, because it's no one's fault.

All that you can do is to play an important role in their adoption and make sure they get sent to a great home. Someone who Nina likes, someone who can take care of Reno's special needs, etcetera.

It's the best you can do. Try to get them the best life you can and you continue your own, that in the end, will get better

[Hidi]

The cats I have were from a couple moving out to Western Canada (Ontario to Alberta, which is very far). They couldn't take the cats with them, and were in a huge need to find a suitable owner. Most people were ignorant, and would only take the younger cat, since the older one was around nine at the time (The younger one was five). They really didn't want to give up the cats, but they knew they had to.

What we've done, is keep in contact with the couple. From time-to-time they call us on Skype so they can see the cats. A few weeks ago, they were in our area, and we invited them to come over and see the cats. It was three years between when we adopted them, to when they saw the cats, and they still had a mild recognition of the couple!

My suggestion would be, consider trying to get in contact with the person who ends up adopting them? I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you went to see them every so often.

[Prince Elite]

You have to do what is best for you. Sometimes the decision is a very difficult one to make, but it has to be made. Your health is a priority and terrible as it is to part with your beloved cats, you have to ask yourself if it's the right decision. If it were me, and I had to part with my cat. My little Jack whom I treasure. It would be a terrible decision but I would have to part with him. It is going to feel pretty bad, but you had to make a decision for you. 

 

Amen.

[Drasiana]

The move to Germany probably would have been just as scary for the kitties, if not more so, than rehoming them. I don't know what Germany's animal import laws are but they might have needed a bunch of extra vaccines or medical examinations or things like that and it would've been expensive and potentially unpleasant.

 

It might feel pretty shitty but you probably did the right thing. You gave the kitties a good home for as long as you had them and, when you realized you may not be able to continue giving them such a good home, you put them in a place where they can be adopted into a new loving family. They'll be okay, see if the shelter has any option to allow you to contact the new owners so you can check in on them every so often.

[Scourge]

My grandmother raises puppies from our local ASPCA, and I go over there time and time again to help her out in caring for them. There are no words to describe the bonds we form with our animals, and they'll be with us forever.

 

One of the first puppies I helped raise, Shadow, has always had a special place in my heart. Before he was even capable of seeing out of his eyes, I held him up to my face just to get a good look at him, and he licked me on the nose.. I feel it was a special moment between us.. I went over there often, helping my grandmother out around her house with various assorted things, but no matter where I went, Shadow followed (hence the name, not because of fur colour ).  There were times I was outside in the freezing cold, ankle deep in the snow with buffeting winds, and he was there with his little black nose just looking up at me as if nothing around us mattered.

 

Another example of animal love, is another dog: Laddie. My grandmother found him years ago, on the side of the street, beaten, shot, and hit with a truck, yet still alive. A couple hours later, he was at the vets office getting bandaged up and taken in. It took alot of time to get him to trust us, but once he did, Laddie was the most loyal and amazing border collie ive ever seen. I recall countless days where i was just playing fetch with him (I know, cliche) near non-stop. However, Laddie was also a bit of an old dog when we found him, and a few years ago, he left us. No matter where I am, no matter where I go, If I ever see a border collie or a dog of similar colouration and breed, I think of him.

 

I know a thing or two about loving animals, and letting go is never easy, but if it was the right decision, or the wrong decision, you'll know it deep down. Good luck Red~

[Redeemer]

Thanks guys, every single reply here has helped me. I truly appreciate every word in this topic.

 

I was a little better last night. I didn't cry, which is the first time since Wednesday. I cleaned up some cat hair in my flat, and I'll have to clean some more today. It seems to just float down from nowhere, haha.

 

My cough is gone... I had a bad cough following a chest infection from the new year, and since eliminating most cat hair, it's gone completely. I cannot lie here - it's like new air in the place.

 

Regarding keeping in touch with the cats new owners - the Cat Protection told me they can't give out any details due to our data protection act. I called them a couple of nights ago, which is embarrassing for me because the message I left was full of tears and sniffles, asking them about the cats and hinting strongly that I would like them back. The response I got was a 10 second message on my answerphone, saying the cats were doing fine and they would go to a new home soon. I guess they probably think I'm a complete flake after calling them at 11:30pm in tears.

[Vy'drach]

I doubt it's the first or will be the last time they get a message like that.

[Snys93]

You are most welcome Redeemer.

[Dr. Orange]

Losing pets are hard to get over. I remember when I was young, my dad killed my pet goldfish. I couldn't get over it. And on a more recent note my grandmother's cat who was the sweetest lil' bugger I've ever met just went to a shelter. This cat came over the seas too, straight from the Dutch country herself and has lived with my grandmother since they came in 1959 or so I'm told. If I had to chose a favorite of the family, it was a cat. I learned this a week after the departure and went full ass-hat mode. It was that mix of angry, melancholy and acceptance. I mean I loved the cats company, but I think the comfort of living for the cat has decreased since she came.

 

Was it right? Only time will tell. From what I have been told is that she may have a new home soon. And that's the best thing for her.

[Hidi]

Thanks guys, every single reply here has helped me. I truly appreciate every word in this topic.

 

I was a little better last night. I didn't cry, which is the first time since Wednesday. I cleaned up some cat hair in my flat, and I'll have to clean some more today. It seems to just float down from nowhere, haha.

 

My cough is gone... I had a bad cough following a chest infection from the new year, and since eliminating most cat hair, it's gone completely. I cannot lie here - it's like new air in the place.

 

Regarding keeping in touch with the cats new owners - the Cat Protection told me they can't give out any details due to our data protection act. I called them a couple of nights ago, which is embarrassing for me because the message I left was full of tears and sniffles, asking them about the cats and hinting strongly that I would like them back. The response I got was a 10 second message on my answerphone, saying the cats were doing fine and they would go to a new home soon. I guess they probably think I'm a complete flake after calling them at 11:30pm in tears.

Yeah, it's too bad they're obligated to do that. We went through a local online classified which allowed us to be in contact with the owners.

[Faisul]

Redeemer, you made the right choice. Getting pets across the atlantic is a major headache and wallet burn, and as has been said earlier there would have been a battery of tests your kitties would have had to go though, some likely highly invasive. And considering your allergic reactions to the kitties, you would probably have had to do this sooner or later anyway. As a fellow asthma and cat-allergy-haver where one day in a house with cats is enough to send me hacking and bleary-eyed to hide in a corner and die, I know how torturous it can be.

 

You're not the first to have had to do this. It must've been very hard to hand them over to the shelter, so not only do I think you made the right decision, but also a very brave one. And don't worry, I'm sure your kitties will find a loving family to live with. :>

[Redeemer]

Thank you, guys. Damn, Faisul, your post almost had me in tears again. The day I gave them away, I didn't look brave at all. I was a crumpled, sobbing mass on my floor. I must have looked so pathetic, but I did this to myself, really.

But thank you for your kind words, and to Dras as well. Deep down, I know you're both right. I just need time to pass so that I can get over what I did, and how quickly it happened.

 

It's been over a week now since I gave them away. I thought I was done bubbling about it but last night in a call with R3d, I got a little upset again. It just kind of comes in waves. Plus, I have a couple of very serious matters within my family that are weakening my emotional fort, so everything is kind of happening at the same time. The only thing that can distract me is Skyping with R3dFiVe, working out, drawing, and revamping my wardrobe and makeup bag. The last two may be expensive but they have a therapeutic effect on me.

[Redeemer]

Old topic is old, I know. I just wanted to let you guys know that Nina has been adopted. She's not on the website anymore. They separated Reno and Nina, don't know why because I asked them to go together. I guess it was easier this way. Reno's still listed, I feel so terrible that my little boy is in that place alone now. Also the centre didn't notify me when Nina was adopted, so I emailed them reminding them that they TOLD me they would keep communicating with me.

[Dr. Orange]

Sometimes you need to make 'em remember. I'm sure Nina is living the life with catnip and VHS taps of squirrels.

[Redeemer]

I really hope they email me tomorrow, I'll also be keeping a close eye on Reno, see when he will be adopted. God I hope it's soon.

[Geo Stelar]

I really hope they email me tomorrow, I'll also be keeping a close eye on Reno, see when he will be adopted. God I hope it's soon.

 

I hope whoever will adopt Reno will take good care of him as much as you did

[Redeemer]

Oh my god they've both been adopted. I called the centre today after I saw that both Nina and Reno were not on the list of cats anymore. They're adopted to new homes. I've had a little cry, but I feel a lot better knowing that they're in a loving environment again.

[Dr. Orange]

Did they remember to call this time?

[Redeemer]

I had to call them, actually... But at least I got the information I wanted.

[Snys93]

   Sorry about your kittehs Red. Just recently, my cat ran away and I haven't seen him for almost three weeks. I was thinking about adopting a little fuzz ball, but I already have a pitbull and a chihuahua who are best buddies and keep me company.