What are the effects of school bullying?

[Harlow]

I'm assigned to make a video short about bullying in schools.

I know these in a nutshell, we all do, but I'm interested in some help and different POV's in order to get inspiration for the script.

What are the principal pysichal and psychological effects of bullying (apart of the harm to the bullied) not only to the bullied but to bullies themselves as well?

 

No need to, but it would help me a lot if you write them in a vertical list, like.

-A

-B

-C

[Zzz]

Zzz

[Redeemer]

Jesus, I've been bullied most of my goddamn life so I'll give you a million fucking things.

 

Effects on the bullies:

Social acceptance

Social control

Confidence

Independence

Position of power

Outlet of negative feelings

Coping mechanism

 

Effects on the bullied:

Low self esteem

Low confidence

Need for social acceptance

Social withdrawl

Social exclusion

Fear

Anxiety

Depression

Possible self-harm/suicide in uncommon cases

Isolation

 

Edit: Actually is 17, not a million, but close enough.

[Harlow]

Holy wow, thanks! That helps a bunch.

 

For you to picture what I want to make: Apart of "talking to camera giving info" typical stuff that is the most likely, I want to add something to compliment so it wouldn't be so bland. A POV on a "bully" (why he bullies, how it makes him feel) and someone bullied (saying he feels said symptoms). Cutting to someone briefing the definition of bullying (how it can occur, what can happen) and then me saying what you have to do in that case.

 

Most likely the soundtrack I'm using. Dunno using it on the explanation part, but I'll see what can I do.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bmlnf4aueE

[Scourge]

I was bullied for most of my time in practically all of my schools.. so lets see its effects on me:

 

Crippling shyness

Massive anger control issues

Social introversion

immense hate for the human race

loss of faith in the potential good-ness of the human race

a large scar in the middle of my hand

common social belief among my school that i'm insane

Pure hatred for people

a black mark on my educational record for when I assaulted another student in 4th grade

Immense desire for world domination

Loss of religious faith (what little i clung to back in those days)

Burning hate for the educational system that stood by and watched, and laughed while all of that happened

wrist problems from a past injury from where I punched a wall in frustration

low grades in my early years of high-school

 

 

... so yes, Bullying is bad, Im still waiting for anybody to come up and actually do fucking anything worthwhile about it..

[Redeemer]

If there is anything more I can do to help, Harlow, let me know. When I've secured my career and whatnot, I'm going to target bullying and try to start some kind of campaign. I'm not sure how, but I know for a fact that I'm passionate enough to make it happen. If you want real-life stories, I can give you them.

[DoctorAllosaurus]

In my case, if I was pushed to the point where I couldn't take anymore I'd pretty much lose complete control of my body and go into an all-out violent rage.

[Aiden O'Conner]

Being bullied completely sucked and I wish that people didn't have to endure it.

 

However, in my opinion I feel that being bullied actually made me a stronger person. I don't take shit from anybody and I do what I want (while still being a responsible and productive human being, of course) and I'm happier because of it.

 

So yeah, I don't really know. On one hand, it was completely terrible. On the other, I feel that it helped shape me into who I am today.

[Gestalt]

Don't forget, sometimes parents take the fall (as in legal punishment)  for severe bullying their children do...

[Patch93]

I was bullied for most of my time in practically all of my schools.. so lets see its effects on me:

 

Crippling shyness

Massive anger control issues

Social introversion

immense hate for the human race

loss of faith in the potential good-ness of the human race

a large scar in the middle of my hand

common social belief among my school that i'm insane

Pure hatred for people

a black mark on my educational record for when I assaulted another student in 4th grade

Immense desire for world domination

Loss of religious faith (what little i clung to back in those days)

Burning hate for the educational system that stood by and watched, and laughed while all of that happened

wrist problems from a past injury from where I punched a wall in frustration

low grades in my early years of high-school

 

.......holy shit man..... 0_0

 

...I feel legitimately sorry for you.

[Redeemer]

Being bullied completely sucked and I wish that people didn't have to endure it.

 

However, in my opinion I feel that being bullied actually made me a stronger person. I don't take shit from anybody and I do what I want (while still being a responsible and productive human being, of course) and I'm happier because of it.

 

So yeah, I don't really know. On one hand, it was completely terrible. On the other, I feel that it helped shape me into who I am today.

 

See I'm kind of different.

 

I was bullied for how I look, mostly because of my hair colour. I'm a natural redhead, and I wasn't allowed to use dyes at a young age so I kind of had to let it show. Now, many people probably think there's nothing wrong with hair colour or whatever, and hey, they're right. But in school, a lot of girls picked on me for having red hair. I was the only girl in my year with it, and I was called many names often related to "ginger" and they got very, embarrassingly personal at times. Every day I was called "ugly", and they picked on my nose shape, freckles, and my weight (even though I was slim back then). I've been spat on, thrown into thorn bushes and nettles while walking home from school, had my stuff stolen, and three girls once caught me alone after gym class and cut my hair off.

 

This has not made me a stronger person. It actually made me hate my image, and after moving to university, I dyed my hair dark purple and had it cut into a pixie style. But then it grew out, and by then, I was in a circle of friends that made me feel accepted. In particular, my best friend Jack.

 

Then I met a man who loved everything about me and I stopped giving fucks about what anyone thought.

[Harlow]

Well, a different question, people.

 

What do you feel it needs to help stop this issue?

 

Again, please on a list-like order.

[Redeemer]

Stricter teachers - teachers these days are actually afraid of pupils, at least at my old high school.

Proper punishments - many people just had to write lines, and many didn't bother doing it at all.

Punishment suggestions - physical exercise, e.g. laps around field, more parental involvement, reflective counselling, lack of access to school facilities such as games or candy machines, having to wait last in the lunch line, having to wait last to leave class, detention.

School security for the more violent bullying.

Teachers that actually care.

Police involvement if parents give no shits about their asshole child, as this could represent a dysfunctional family that can contain neglect, abuse, etc.

[Fox McCloud 64]

I still have not ever seen something that my school has done to effectivley stop bullying. Most bullying in my school was put down by the people being bullied. They would just work together and beat the bullies up. What Redeemer listed above is basicaly what I think but good luck finding schools (especially public schools) that actually will do something.

I think bullies should be held back for not being socially ready for the real world. (after they are warned)

[Patch93]

See I'm kind of different.

 

I was bullied for how I look, mostly because of my hair colour. I'm a natural redhead, and I wasn't allowed to use dyes at a young age so I kind of had to let it show. Now, many people probably think there's nothing wrong with hair colour or whatever, and hey, they're right. But in school, a lot of girls picked on me for having red hair. I was the only girl in my year with it, and I was called many names often related to "ginger" and they got very, embarrassingly personal at times. Every day I was called "ugly", and they picked on my nose shape, freckles, and my weight (even though I was slim back then). I've been spat on, thrown into thorn bushes and nettles while walking home from school, had my stuff stolen, and three girls once caught me alone after gym class and cut my hair off.

 

You gotta be kidding me.... screw those people, redheads are awesome ^^

[Guest]

I was very different back in school. And I still am very different now. (Like carrying around stuff like combs and pens when in casual clothing, or having an interest in stuff like videogames etc etc) Back in the day (nothing indicates things would have changed), that was enough to put you into the role of the bullied one. Once a person starts getting bullied, you have to bully that person too, rather than interact with him positively, if you want any chance to be accepted by peers. Guess you can deduct on your own, where that put me eventually. 

 

Actually, after getting past Grammar school successively, even though most people in school tried to stop that from happening, I felt more than self-confident. And I still do. It felt, like I beat all of them. It feels like you were in a battle with only yourself on one side, and hundreds on the other. And you won.

 

But being bullied in school nevertheless left me emotionally scarred, possibly forever. It affected the person I am until this day.

 

If the majority of people you can think of is associated negatively, you don't consider a human life as valuable as if this isn't the case. You don't feel any sort of pain or pity when hearing about people dying or reading it in the news. Simply because they are people you don't know. And if you don't know them, you will have to expect them to be the average of all the people you know. Therefore, you don't care. You have to imagine it like this: Someone reads about some accident happening somewhere and aweing about how awful it is that someone died somewhere again, and you think to yourself: "So what? Weeping about it won't help anyone."

 

I recall talking to someone about people suffering of famine in rural areas of certain countries on the south side of the American continent once, and back then, I didn't understand his problem. They multiply more than fast enough. They're not endangered. And even if they were, they wouldn't be an endangered species, as there are humans all over the world. It took a while for me to understand that other people actually care about people they've never met. Or another way to make you understand how this works: Imagine an animal, like a dog. And you meet only four dogs in your entire life. One of them doesn't react to you at all, and the others bite you and seem to want to kill you. And then you see a fifth one injured on the road. Are you going to walk up to it and help it? I wouldn't, I'd just walk away.

 

Also, I often notice people normally have this desperate desire to hang around with other people and spend a lot of time interacting. I don't feel that either. My subjective way of seeing it is actually, that if someone isn't either family or has earned the right to be called one of my true friends yet, is not worth bothering to get to know, either. Everyone else is only as valuable to me, as they are useful. I do feel a sort of loneliness, but apparently by far not as strong as other people if they had the same amount of social interaction.

 

Actually more than that. I have something like a fear of getting close to anyone. Any sort of physical contact, even with people I know and am familiar with requires overcoming. I think it's simply because getting emotionally close to anyone always proved to be a mistake in the past.

 

This is my personal experience of how bullying affects people. I hope it helps.

 

A: Lack of empathy

 

B: Lacking will to socialize

 

C: Fear of contact

[PsyMuffin]

I've just learned to ignore it, and laugh at the people who try and attempt to make me feel bad of myself. Even though it seems it may lead to a fight, people don't usually bother others after school (At least in my area, not saying this for all), and it's very unwise to do something in the lines of "fighting" someone in school.

[Drasiana]

I was bullied a bit in school but I developed social anxiety problems before then because I spent a lot of time moving as a kid and didn't really have much of a chance to hang out with other kids. I was bullied more for being shy and bookish, which certainly didn't help the issue, but generally learned to convert the insults into white noise. Especially when they were stupid things like the guy who liked to meow at me to...make fun of the fact that I liked cats, I guess?

 

Trust issues is a big one though. In about grade six/seven I discovered that a "friend" of mine was posing as me on Myspace or something and going around insulting other friends of mine. Then I found her personal blog, where she was writing about how I was apparently a huge slut who "loved to flirt with nerdy guys" (I had some dude sorta friends and we would play video games sometimes but were never really close in any regards). I spammed her with "STFU" macros, because seventh grade revenge logic, and she never bothered me again. But after my only other close friend moved away I didn't really want to put effort into trusting or befriending anyone else until like grade ten. Small town hiveminds make it harder, too.

 

It took me a while to start being comfortable with befriending guys again, though. I got along with them easier because I liked computers and video games and action movies and stuff, but I couldn't be friends with them without the entire school getting up in arms about how I'm apparently whoring around.

 

Basically I became really selective of my friends and still am skeptical about making new ones just because I'm not sure if they're going to turn into complete assholes. Even when I'm sure they aren't, it's a learned defense mechanism that's hard to break. I have more awesome friends now than I did before though, so it is at least a breakable habit.

 

You probably also want to consider the role bullying has in body image issues and corresponding eating disorders in youth. I know a woman who works with young people with eating disorders and it's both horribly heartbreaking and more common than you may realize. I wasn't too bad with body issues myself, though I do remember spending more than a few summer gym classes dying in track pants because I wasn't allowed to do anything other than wax my legs, so it either was painfully tear the hair from every follicle in my legs while risking bleeding, endure the mockery and avoidance of students who already disliked me because I was sort of physically inept, or just wear uncomfortable track pants (and still be made fun of for being physically inept). Wait a second, gym class SUCKED. Anyway, the point of that tangent is that bullied kids will put themselves into uncomfortable or even dangerous situations if it means avoiding further bullying.

 

There are also places where GLBT kids aren't offered any support, and people are even attempting to interfere with laws that would protect gay kids, or even pass laws that would specifically make it okay to bully them under a "religious basis" (Arizona is one, I forget what the other states were but I'll edit them in when I find them). GLBT suicides are also, predictably, quite high. (Wiki, but there are a billion good sources attached to the article)

 

There's a degree, too, where help should be more readily available to troubled students. I've heard some horror stories about terrible school counselors, not to mention the general societal stigma surrounding the idea of talking to any sort of therapist at all, which is especially harsh for students who are pressured to keep up an image anyway and may be ostracized for being "crazy" if anyone knows they need a therapist. Their problems get worse and they are afraid of getting the help that they need.

 

edit: I also just remembered, I had an acquaintance in high school that tried to kill herself after her dad made her life hell once he discovered that she was bisexual (among other things). Of course nobody knew this happened until long after the fact, and no one was there for her at the time because we didn't understand that her kind of obnoxious attitude was a combination of child abuse and undiagnosed bipolar disorder that went under the radar for so long because she could not get safe access to mental help. Then once people in our school discovered that she cut herself--because, y'know, she hated herself so much she felt she deserved to be punished--they began to make fun of her for being an "emo kid". I wish we could have helped her more at the time and feel kinda bad, like we accidentally contributed to her problems somehow because we weren't aware that these issues even existed in general, let alone how to help people with them

[Redeemer]

You gotta be kidding me.... screw those people, redheads are awesome ^^

 

You're a sweetheart, thank you. <3 I think it's because I was so different, you know? Everyone in school had brown or blonde hair, in fact most were blonde because that was the fad at that time. I was just red, hence why when people call me "Red" here, I always smile a little. It's become my identity, and whether that be a good or a bad thing is not my concern. I interact with the people I want to be with, like you guys, and everyone else can piss off. XD

 

Dras, I have worked with girls that have eating disorders, namely anorexia and bulimia. It's hard to explain to society how you don't have to be skinny to have an eating disorder. We had one girl who was quite overweight, but she was making herself throw up in order to lose weight due to her thyroid causing her to remain heavy. Then when she tried to open up to a friend about it, her friend completely betrayed her and told everyone she was full of shit. Because FAT people can't have an eating disorder RIGHT? RIGHT? Fucking social stigma, goddamn it. It makes me fucking rage.

 

Also regarding school counsellors - my dream career is to be one, but I want to invent a new take on things. I think it over almost every day, I think the key is to be actively involved with all students, not just the ones with problems. I'd like to go around classes and present what I do, do activities with children and just basically show them that I would just be a normal person, who happens to help if it's needed. I believe that this in itself can help rid schools of the "creepy shrink" image that most counsellors have.

[Harlow]

Redheads are asum. They apparently never get white hairs when they get old. And who needs a soul these days? yeesh...

 

Anyway, thanks to all of you guys. You helped a bunch.

One more thing. I'm soon off to film my part for the video short. What do you think of this I'm planning to say? (rough traduction) Part in italics is already done, but I can change the rest easily.

 

"Bullying is a latent problem in the schools of the state, and it affects everyone equally. Three out of four children say they have experienced some form of harassment in their lives, and whether is verbal, physical, psychological or by social networks, the damage can wreak havoc on the health of people. (Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, suicidal thoughts ... These are some of the many symptoms that someone can suffer if it falls victim to this evil*.)

*as in disease or event

 

(My part)
If you or someone you know has been assaulted at school, take initiative. Speak up, get help from teachers or your family, do not lose your cool or be afraid, and most importantly: do not be afraid to defend yourself.
To educators, it is vital to create awareness. Build a culture of respect and tolerance, reinforce codes of conduct and offer psychological aid to students.
We must all work to eradicate bullying. The key to a proper co-existence starts with you.Take the first step!"

[Drasiana]

I think that's pretty solid. Maybe add some other line about, because of how pervasive and common bullying is, that reason alone people should be less afraid at speaking up, and remember that there are thousands of other people in similar situations? Idk just spitballing

[Harlow]

Thanks Dras. I'm not than keen of adding because I only have a minute to minute and a half, and there's a whole scene (~30 seconds) before that speech that I have to figure out.

 

That "more common than you think" line just might fit by the last part to fill it up.

 

20 seconds first part

10 seconds first part in italics

 

15 seconds first part of my part

10 seconds second part of my part

Edited March 8, 2013 by Harlow

[Drasiana]

Ah, time constraints, I know you well...fair enough, though! I hope your project turns out well :>

[Harlow]

Thanks

 

Also, In the entirety that is my part adn the time I have planned, where would you divide in in half for a transition live video/off-voice?

[Drasiana]

Hmm? I'm not quite sure what you mean...do you mean where you'd divide this:

 

If you or someone you know has been assaulted at school, take initiative. Speak up, get help from teachers or your family, do not lose your cool or be afraid, and most importantly: do not be afraid to defend yourself.
To educators, it is vital to create awareness. Build a culture of respect and tolerance, reinforce codes of conduct and offer psychological aid to students.
We must all work to eradicate bullying. The key to a proper co-existence starts with you.Take the first step!"

 

For the sake of a transition?

[Harlow]

yes indeed. Where would you cut it in two?