Worst Fanfic Ever Contest

[Snys93]

   Hey all. Snes1993 here bringing to you an idea fresh from the chatroom. You read right, a contest on the worst fanfic that you yourself can write. Its got to be original and the worst thing you could ever put pen to paper to or Wordpad.

 

   The sites rules do apply. Check to see if your fanfic meets the necessary requirements. As to the nature and plot (if any) of you fanfic, it doesn't matter. Crossovers are welcome. Skyrim, Starfox, Doctor Who, whatever, just submit us your fic and maybe you'll be the winner. Winners will be voted by other users. Contestants cannot vote on their own fic. Once the period is up and all contestants have submitted their fics will voting begin.

 

   As to the prize its simple. You will be crowned winner of the worst fanfic of SFO. This is your time to bask in glory!

 

   You don't have to be a good writer to enter. Just write, submit and have fun reading each others fics. Good luck and may the best user win!

[Redeemer]

 

 

   As to the prize its simple. You will be awarded a striptease from yours truly. This is your time to bask in glory!

 

 

 

Fixed.

 

Also I may indeed enter this competition. I'll find the time to write an entry. Any particular theme? I'm assuming it must also be PG?

[Snys93]

Any particular theme? I'm assuming it must also be PG?

 

   The sites rules do apply. Check to see if your fanfic meets the necessary requirements. As to the nature and plot (if any) of you fanfic, it doesn't matter.

 

Yup PG. I too will be entering to deliver my unholy fic from the darkness.

[ballisticwaffles]

Thou hast awoken a might beast from its slumber.

 

I shall accept your challange, fool.

[ballisticwaffles]

i dont care if its a double post im not letting peopel get away from seing this piece of shit.

 

YOU ASKED FOR IT. YOU WANTED THIS.

 

 

Chapter 1 prologeu

They say that life is short and glory eternal yea right as if i would ever die. That means my deeds would be eteral like my life.

my name is jacob blackthorn mccloud. My older brother Fox says that i shouldn't use his name but what does he know i was betrayed by Star fox 23 years ago and now i fight my battles alon. noone could now my pain. i Was born on coruscant 3 years before the battle of yaven. my master darth Vader said that i was a type of jedi that the galaxy ahdnt seen before, i could use both sides of the force and i had telepathic powers like Krystal. i am a black and red wolf with green eyes and short hair and a chistled physice and i have a large one.

so I was sent in tim back to learn to control my powers by krystal where i fell in love with her. we were going to be married but the advent and the vasari attacked cerenia and killed everyone but me and krystal who was frozen in space for 10 million years.

i was almost killed by a falling pillar but the doctor (matt smith not the knew one) saved me and brought me back to coruscant. But i had learned good from krystal and couldnt help my master anymore so i joined the rebellion and helped luk shoot down the death star and i fought off vader.

Now i wander the galaxy lookeding for the advent and vasari so i could get revenge for all of my cerenian brother and sisters who got killeded.

(ib not updating till i get fiove good reviews. Like if you want vader to kil luker and the emperor and marry krystal!!!!!)

 

Chapter 2 - im not okay.

anyway i am flying my personal space ship the enterprise NX-02. its aprototype of the enterprise from enterprise that i stole while hunting the protosss on earth. it was bigger and more powerful than the enterprise it was armed with 3 large ion cannons and a  Shaw-Fujikawa drive from halo that master chief gave me for killing the prophet of truth and saving Miranda keys who joined me.

it was armed with nineteen diffrent weapons 3 phasers, 2 disrupters, 5 tachyon beams, 9 rail guns and much much more. it was painted a dark black and had the symbol of my clan, a gigantic red wolf painted on the saucer. it was called the dark blade wolf. Anyway i was traveling through space when i got amessgage from captain picard. help picard said with a british "accent the zerg are attacking the TEC homeworld."

"Hmph" i said, frowning with sleekness. i knew the tec i had done missions for them with the arbiter who i call the assbiter, they had betrayed me to the zerg before and i knew they desrved it. "no" i told picard, who looked betrayed at my statement "good i thought" now they know my pain at being betrayed by those u trust"

talizo'orah from mass effect 2 looked at me with sorrow in her glowing quaran eyes. i had the romunlans cure her of her disease before she had joined my crew. "jacob blackthorn mccloud are you sure you dont want to help the teC?" she said with her quarian voice. i frowned and gave tali my angry face. "no tali they must learn the pric of betrayal and those who petray my trust.

but deep inside i felt sad at leaving the tec to be eaten by the zerg. i didn want to be evil but i was raised by darth vade to be evil and i couldnt escape it. 

"ms keys warp factor three take us 2 cerinia for the aniiversery of its destuction."

the ship flew off and leaft the planet to doom.

 

(I obly wrote this becuz i got 5 revoiws. nuw i wunt update until i get 10 reviews and a poll on which crew member jacob blackthorn mccloud should romance.)

 

Chapter 3 - black parade.

 

the dark wolf blade got to cerinia but there was ships around it it was andross. 

"james blackthorn mccloud i have found you." andross said with his hands. i made a frowny face and said with righous fevor andross i will defeat you and prove my worth to my brother Fox Blackthorn mccloud. (Fox adopted his name from me because he wanted to taunt me but it didnt work because the joke was on him) I orderd the ship into read alert and went ot the hanger wheere my poersonal starship was. it wqas a convertedX-wing with g diffuser technolog which made it more powerful than my brother Fox mcclouds ship. It looked like an x-wing but it had tie fighter nacelles and borg highlights that made it look cool.

i got on my ship and the ai said hello. i ignored it and launched the ship at andross

the ship flew through his fleet and cut through his fleet like butter ona  stove and andross was defeated by me before he could speak. now cerinia has one less enemy i said to tali who had come to the hanger becuase she was worried i would died.

oh jacob blackthorn mccloud iwas a worried!" she said with tears and hugged me tight. i returned the hug and thought in my thoughts that i would never abandedon her because i loved her. (Authors note: i dotnc are if you voted for keys tali is jacob blackthorne mcclouds one tru love.)

 

"comander" keys said over the intercom. "we are getting hailed from star wolf. they have been corrupted by phazon and are threatening you and your ship" i was filled with angry. how dare the phazon thraten the black blade ulf (ulf is nordinc for wolf)! i used my powers to teleport tot he bridge and i saw that wolf had been turned into phazon wolf. his eyes were now purple and he looked kinda like wolf link from ocarina of time.

"jacob blackthorne mccloud" he said with evil an voice. "i will kill every1 you love and tali and then i will kill you and get rewarded by my dark master!"

who is your dark maser?" i asked wisely, already planning in my head. wolf thought for a sec.

"he is darth gaara." wolf said meanly. "and he will kill all you love and tali!" before i could kill him with my powers wolf flew away. i looked next to me and saw tali's afraid face. "jacob blackthorne mccloud i am afraid i dont want to be seperated from you"

i held her tight an d said with noble "tali you wont be killed i wont let nmy bretrayers hurt anyone i care about anymore. but just hten i got a message from master chief. he said that coruscant was under attack by colonel quarich?!

 

(i counted the reviews and i only got 9 but i wanted to continue so i did. only three people voted and wanter jacob blackthorne mccloud to love miranda but tali is his one true love.)

 

Chapter 4 - betrayal.

i teleported to coruscant with my crew and we bgan killing the humans attacking coruscant. they wanted the resorces and alsot to burn the forests to prevent the natives from resisting them but i had sworn to protect nature because it was krystal (my ex fiancee's) favorite thing. So my crew got out our guns and we killed at the humans who were burning and rapping the natives.

help cried naytri who was being rapped by qwaritch. he had a small thing and she didnt feel it but it counted so i shot qwartich and rescued her. oh jacob blackthorne mccloud she moaned as i hugged her. "i was so afraid but now you are here and i feel safe"

I helped her up and gave her a gun and togther we killed the humans and saved coruscant which was secretly pandora.

"Jacob blackthorne mccloud" said naytiri's father. "u haved saved us from the humans and now we are in debt please tak emy daughters hand in marriage."

I looked into naytiris eyes and with my powers i saw how much she loved me. "But jacob blackthorne mccloud, i cant marry u you love tali'zorah."

but in my mind i didnt hear her, i only saw tali paying qwaritch money to attack coruscant because she wanted to kill me. i was betrayed again.

I growled with mygruff voice and said "do not say her nam around me again or i wll kill you" i said. Naytirir was shocked but didnt say a word as naytiri's dad made us married and we lived on pandora for a while.

that night while natri and i were having the sex i saw another vision in my head. in my vision i saw tali pull off her helmet (she got sick again and had to put it on thats why she was in it) and it was actually natiri who payed qwaritch to attack her.

"You bicth1" i yelled at natiri who had hired qwartchi to attack coruscant which was secretly pandora in order to get tali and i to break up. so i turned into a wolf and i riped her trout out and ran out side yelling "i will not be betrayed again!"

so i went back to the shadow blade wolf and flew off never to be seen in dis galaxy again.

(sorry for the long wait i got groudned and saw avatar and had to rewrite the chapter. my teacher says this story is good so WHY CANT YOU ALL SEE IT IS GOOD TOO>?)

[Snys93]

   Here it is.

 

 

 

Doctor Who

The Last Great Time War

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   He is the Doctor, a man, an alien, a Time Lord of Gallifrey...

 

   ...he is a healer and wise man with an adventurious spirit. An oldtimer who surrounds himself with the young and sees the universe through their eyes. He is a man of peace.

 

   But he was not always so and the Doctor is not his true name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   "My Lord President, it is time."

 

   Gathered around a complex device, the remnant of the ruling council of Gallifrey conveined for a special announcement. The device was charged and ready for its activation. After told by another member of the ruling council, The Lord President stepped forward carrying his staff of ruling. His robes flowed as he entered the chamber, his face was serious and unafraid. As he stopped at the center of the senate floor he opened his mouth to speak.

 

   "Brothers, sisters of Gallifrey! Today we welcome home one of our own to do battle against the most ruthless of our enemies...the Daleks! We will unleash wrath as never before seen!" He points to the device near the center, "This, this trans-space-time-conveying-extractor will wisk any of our kind back to there homeland! Behold!"

 

   With a gesture of his hand, he gave the signal to activate the machine. "Behold! The Doctor!!!"

 

   In a short time blasted the image of the doctor in view, his 8th regeneration to be exact. As he materialized fully, the Lord President ordered him to be restrained within a force field.

 

   "What? What is this?!" cried out the Doctor.

 

   "Silence Doctor! For you will preform a service for your people."

 

   "Lord President, I demand to know why you have brought me here!"

 

   "Patience, you will be informed! The Daleks Doctor," he said as he paced the floor, "what do you remember of them?"

 

   "I am a Time Lord, Lord President, of course I know of them. Since childhood I was told of their cruelty, their destructiveness, their will to exterminate the universe!"

 

   "Then how must we fight them, Doctor?! Will we sacome to your stand of non-violence. No, NO!!! Today you will match their cruelty and more so! With your might, you will save Gallifrey from certain demise!"

 

   "I will not."

 

   "Then you leave us no choice!!!"

 

   The Lord President signalled again, this time to collapse the force field around the Doctor as lightening blots plunged into his body.

 

   "Regenerate!" roared the Lord President.

 

   "No!"

 

   "Regenerate into the Warrior!!"

 

   "NO!!"

 

   "The Warrior to end all wars!!!"

 

   "NO PLEASE!!!"

 

   "Become once again what you once were!!!!"

 

   "I beg of you!!!! NO!!!!!!"

 

   The Doctor weak and near death begins to glow with Time Lord energy. The Lord President lifts his hands and eyes the ceiling of the senate building. "BECOME ONCE AGAIN...!!!"

 

   The Doctor releases the destructive energy through his head and hands as the Lord President utters his true name.

 

   "CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   Outside in the fields of battle, legions of Daleks servay the fallen Time Lords and their allies.

 

   "LIFE-SIGN-NEGATIVE! CONTINUE-ADVANCE!"

 

   Just then a blinding light of a transport beam appeared on the battlefield. The Daleks react.

 

   "ALERT-ALERT! TRANSPORT-BEAM-DETECTED!!"

 

   "LIFE-SIGN-DETECTED! EXTERMINATE!! EXRERMINATE!!!"

 

   But before the Daleks could fire, a spray of death rays came from the transport beam.

 

   PEWPEW PEWPEW PEWPEWPEW!

 

   Several blasts landed their marks, destroying entire lines of Daleks! Leaping into the frey, Chuck Norris continued blasting sonic blasters and death rays at the unsuspecting squids in garbage cans.

 

   "DNA-SCAN-COMPLETED!! IT IS THE DOCTOR!!!"

 

   After exausting the death ray, Chuck Norris of Gallifrey punched his way into a Dalek's command noid and manually fired the Dalek's death ray as it spun out of control firing at other Daleks at close range.

 

   "THE-LEGENDS-ARE-TRUE!!!"

 

   Chuck Norris tore off the "helmet" of a Dalek and grabbing it by the eye stock using it as a mace, hurling it at the others.

 

   "HE-IS-A-DEMON!!!!!!"

 

   He then punched into another one and round house kick another at the same time while throwing the one he punched directly into the path of yet another Dalek exploding them both. Another two he grabbed from behind and crushed them together like the beer cans they were. A Dalek "foot soldier" came and reported to the Supreme Dalek.

 

   "WE-MUST-RETREAT!!!!!"

 

   "NEGATIVE!!! DALEKS-DO-NOT-RUN!!!!!! DALEKS-FOLLOW-ORDERS!!!!!!!"

 

   "Then follow this order!"

 

   The two Daleks turned and looked above, seeing the Predator of the Daleks standing above them aiming the barrel of a laser rifle.

 

   "Die."

 

   PEW!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   Meanwhile on the observation area...

 

   "Report on the Doctor's progress."

 

   "My Lord President, he has destroyed an entire Dalek invasion force. After that we could not locate his whereabouts. When this is all over..."

 

   Just then, there was a knock at the door.

 

   "Is that knocking? Cryer, go see who that is."

 

   "Yes Lord President."

 

   The Cryer walked over to the door to open it when-.

 

   KABLAAM!!!

 

   The door explodes sending burning shrapnal everywhere! Out of the dust and smoke comes a shadowy figure and stops above the Lord President as their eyes meet.

 

   "Wh-who are you?"

 

   "I am Bruce Lee, but you know me as the Master!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

FIN

[Snys93]

Sorry for double posting I have an announcement...

 

 

 

 

 

The contest ends at the end of this September after which voting will take place. If not enough contestants have joined or more time is needed for writing, voting date will be postponed for another month if needed.

[Snys93]

The Contest deadline till voting is now extended to November.

[Vy'drach]

What's with the 4chan thing in the first post?

[Hidi]

 

i dont care if its a double post im not letting peopel get away from seing this piece of shit.

 

YOU ASKED FOR IT. YOU WANTED THIS.

 

......

 

I'm assuming the bad grammar was an aesthetic feature?

 

Also, how badly are you emphasizing that the fanfics have to be in your own words?

[ballisticwaffles]

I'm assuming the bad grammar was an aesthetic feature?

You're damned straight it was.

I really should have ended it with "Lik dis if u cry everytim."

[Redeemer]

REDEEMER'S ENTRY:

 

 

 

My name is Violet Hex. I am a current member of Starfox, and have been for the past 2 years. I am a purple vixen crossed with an echidna, standing at 5" and weighing 100lbs. I have bright green eyes, and long turquoise hair. This is my story.

 

I joined Starfox due to the winds of fate. When I was 4, I saw my parents get murdered by a large figure, I cannot remember his appearance exactly. He was tall, reptilian, and smelled of raw meat and earth. He and his army invaded my hometown, on a planet called Dinosaur Planet. Dinosaur Planet is also known as Sauria, in military terms, I later discovered.

 

The reason he invaded was to wipe out all non-dinosaur inhabitants of the planet. Everyone thinks that Dinosaur Planet had only dinosaurs on it, but in truth, it hid my race. We were not just foxes. We were a special race of hybrid foxes, created in the eyes of the Krazoa, with semi-Krazoa DNA. With this genetic enhancement, we had the ability to read minds, see visions in our dreams, and to heal others with thermo-telekinetic energy. I in particular am unusual because my father, Knuckles, was an echidna, lending me more agility than the average hybrid fox. He himself was from a far off land, and possessed great strengh and wisdom.

 

I watched from the window as this reptile and his army burned down my town and slaughtered my neighbours, friends and family. I only escaped because my mother, Amaris, dug a hole into the dirt floor of our humble little hut. The hole was under the wall, and I squeezed through it and ran into the surrounding forest. As I ran, I heard the door of my house get broken down. I heard my father yelling at the top of his lungs to scare away the reptiles, then silence. Then I heard my mother scream. By this time I was very far away, but to this day I swear I heard words in her scream... It sounded like "DESTINY... VIOLET... BLUE LIGHT."

 

Since then, I wandered the planet's forests, taking on a mostly vagetarian diet, as I felt too kindly towards animals to kill them. I tried once, but I caught a glimpse of the tiny rabbit's mind as I raised my make-shift bamboo dagger: "Please... mercy, I feel you are in pain, I am too..." This rabbit, somehow knew I had suffered. I decided not to pass that same suffering on, and let it go.

 

As I matured and grew wiser, I sought out the help of the EarthWalker tribe. I had been watching them from a distance for years, yet never approached. I was too untrusting and unforgiving of this world. Yet at the age of 16, I took my chances, and approached them. I was accepted by the royal family, and the whole tribe, and was quickly seen as a daughter by most. I was well looked after and educated in the planet's history, fighting skills and how to hone my telepathic powers. I took a job in the health service, making use of my exceptional healing abilites.

 

When I was 18, my life changed. A starship crash landed near EarthWalker village. The residents were afraid, and the smell of the burning craft caused many to hide in their homes. The King asked me to investigate.

"I sense you have great potential... something tells me this is your task," he told me. I nodded, took my bamboo dagger and headed out into the direction of the fiery glow.

 

The smell of burning got intense, and yet something was mingled with it. Burning flesh. My heartrate soared, and I hurried in case anyone was in danger. I arrived at the scene. The starcraft was an Arwing, somehow I knew its name because I had dreamed of such an object months before. The pilot was on the ground, thrown from his craft, burning. I ran to him, and dragged him from the fire. I had to remove his jacket as it was completely aflame. He himself was badly burned, and I was skeptical of his survival. I used my echidna agility to drag him to the village quickly, willing the skies to rain with my psychic ability.

 

"Oh skies, have mercy on this burning land. Bring forth your moist properties!" I psychically cried to the heavens.

 

The rain quickly doused the flames on his craft.

 

I placed the pilot in one of the few hospital beds. He was unconscious, in great pain and some of his feathers had completely burned away. I began to heal his burns. His skin repaired itself, his feathers grew back in, and his expression eased. I listened to his breathing becoming steady, yet out of no where, I also noticed just how handsome he was. I caught myself staring at him, blushed, and rushed out. I ran home and did not even eat, I was so shaken. I fell into bed and wandered into sleep.

 

I had a dream that night. I was wandering, as a little girl, crying. In the distance, I saw my mother. She called to me.

 

"Violet... your destiny is the blue light... your blue light.... find it, the blue that lights your soul... He is your destiny..." I ran to her.

"Mother!" I cried, "Mother don't go! What do you mean? Mother! Mommy!"

"Believe in fate, my beautiful little girl. You will grow to be a beautiful young woman. Find the blue who brings you light."
"Mommyyyyyy!"

 

A loud knocking at my door gave me a start, and I bolted awake. My hair was a mess, and I was disoriented. Rubbing my eyes, I opened the door. There he was.

"So uh, I heard you were the dame that healed me," the feathered man chimed. His voice had a melody to it I had not heard before.

"Um... You were in great pain... I hope you are feeling better," I replied. Our eyes met for about three seconds, and we both quickly looked away.

"Yeah well uh... Like thanks, what are you anyway, you're not some dinosaur chick?"

"Oh I'm... it doesn't matter. My name is Violet, I'm so happy to see you awake."

"The name's Falco. I'm uh, a pilot for Starfox, you heard of them?"
"I can't say I have, heehee."
"Well, I guess that sounds kinda unimpressive. Believe me lady, I'm not one to be taken down easily. So don't think my crash landing is because I'm some kind of moron."
"Oh no, not at all, Mr. Falco. I'm sure you're an excellent pilot."

"Nngh... R-really? I mean thanks, I am. I am an excellent pilot."

"Heehee, you're blushing, Mr. Falco..."

"Whatever! Listen, your healing power, the dinosaurs here said you're pretty talented. I was actually on a recruitment mission to find a medic for my team. I got shot down by some big lizard guy, I don't know-"
"Big lizard guy?! Here?!"

"Yeah, he had a bunch of other guys with him, said something about only dinosaurs are allowed here."
"Oh my goodness... Aaaaah! My head! OOOOOOUCH!"

 

I doubled over in pain, a sharpness erupting in my brain. I saw the reptilian man, the face of my mother... I heard the voice of my father, and in the distance...  the glowing figure of this Falco...

 

"AAAAAAAH MAKE IT STOP!" I s creamed and collapsed onto Falco. A light shone from my heart, and spread around my body for less than a second, and my eyes closed. I felt his arms wrap around me as I faded into darkness.

 

"Violet!" his voice was so distant, "Violet... It's okay..."

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

This would be the first chapter and I'll be damned if I'm writing anymore. I read this aloud and cried myself to sleep. Hope it was okay. OTP4life.

 

Also Snes, when it's time for public voting let me know and I'll help you make a poll topic if you want. We can have a poll with links to each post and I can close the topic after however many days you want.

[Snys93]

What's with the 4chan thing in the first post?

i had a pic there i posted from 4chan. apparently  it didn't load properly, so now it is removed.

[Sarita]

I can't be the only person, that while reading your fanfic, Red, imagined Falco looking like a plucked chicken.

[NovaPhoenyx]

I can't be the only person, that while reading your fanfic, Red, imagined Falco looking like a plucked chicken.

  You were certainly not the only one!  only difference was that I took it a step further and thought he was a cooked chicken..

 

[Redeemer]

Yes, yeeeess... Let the bad fanfic flow through you...

 

[Clearwater]

You are ALL worthy of facepalms.

[Redeemer]

OH LOOK IT'S NOVEMBER NOW HEY SNES DO YOU SEE IT IS NOW NOVEMBER

 

 

Also I've been asked about more chapters of my bad fanfic. If it is SFO's will, I will write more.

[Snys93]

OH LOOK IT'S NOVEMBER NOW HEY SNES DO YOU SEE IT IS NOW NOVEMBER

 

 

Also I've been asked about more chapters of my bad fanfic. If it is SFO's will, I will write more.

 

If you have more to add, thats fine. Shall I push back the voting date...which...isn't exactly...​official...

 

Okay official date for voting can be January 31st if thats okay with everyone. That way it'll give us plenty of time to do whatever.

[Redeemer]

Whaaaaa I'm not entering any other chapters in this contest, only my own possible thread. May as well judge now, I don't think anyone else will enter? o3o

[Arashikage]

Well seeing as how the judging date is now January 31, I think I will try my hand at this like I said I would originally.  School should be dying down for me soon next month, and I'll have a lot more time to focus on writing

[Snys93]

Well seeing as how the judging date is now January 31, I think I will try my hand at this like I said I would originally.  School should be dying down for me soon next month, and I'll have a lot more time to focus on writing

Good, we'll do that then.

[Hidi]

I've got an idea! Wait for me!

[Redeemer]

D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww fine but they best be good, I want to read some really bad stuff.

[Snys93]

The voting deadline is still at the 31st of this month unless otherwise.