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Corrupt-a-Wish!


geoprimedonna

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Granted, but instead of his name, he writes ããŸã°ã‚Œ. I wish online orders arrived faster.

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Granted, but the the contents of the packages will be damaged.

 

I wish I didn't have that bad feeling you get after finishing a really good anime.

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Granted, but you feel really good after finishing a really bad animé. I wish my screen wasn't so damn dirty.

 

Granted, but the the contents of the packages will be damaged.

 

Like they aren't already :P

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I want a pet rock!

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Granted, but it gets lodged in your throat and causes you to choke to death. I wish Summer was longer.

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Granted, but you are excorted to the EarthBound city of Summers. I wish for a Chocobo.

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Granted, but it quickly becomes fat and stores your items instead. I wish for even more loyal Monokumas.

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Granted, but they stab you in the back. I wish for all the latest game consoles.

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Granted, but you pay for them at 150% retail. I wish I didn't wake up so early.

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Granted, but you are now Jeff Andonuts. You sleep very late because of your science projects. I wish for an Arwing.

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Granted, but you get a problem with the G-Diffuser. I wish for a good, accurate fursuit.

 

 

Granted, but they stab you in the back.

 Don't you know the definition of LOYAL, Student?

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Granted, bit it's made from Fox and Krystal. Now Marcus is crying... I want Tessie.

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Granted, but it is too accurate. As you don the suit your flesh begins to feel less like your own. A shiver goes down your spine and you swear you can hear the cracking of bones--and yet, feel nothing. Nothing, that is, save the breeze as it passes over your suit's fur, and you can feel every waft. You go to take the mask off, but realize you can't. The seam beneath the head has vanished entirely. You open your mouth to scream, but all that releases is a mournful wail made not by human vocal chords, but what are now your vocal chords nonetheless. Slowly you feel the higher pleasures of human consciousness ebb away. Thoughts of work and wages, of politics and pleasantries, all give way to pure, unbridled instinct. You know nothing now, but the need to eat, to breed, to survive.

 

You are now wild. A bold, bright magenta creature with mismatched eyes that is frankly ridiculous looking in real life. Some may consider you free. But at what cost?

 

I wish for an egg salad sandwich.

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Granted, but it grows legs and consumes your flesh. I wish for the ability to control time.

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Granted, but you can only do so manually via a compact time machine. Drasiana's father invented the technology that allows you to do this. But because of his daughter's untimely egg death, the would be perfect: Time Traveling Tiara, TTT for short, is now critically flawed. You think you have endured the worst after following the manual instructing you to mount the tiara, ballerina spin, and chant the wish a roo park theme to activate a time shift. However, after your first jump, the creator's true mishap is revealed as your memories and self identity are forever consumed starting with 2004 and branching out either way.

 

In order to save yourself, you must now save Drasiana from that feral egg salad sandwich. You finally succeed, after 9 failures and 11 re-jumps, by violently shoving buttered anchovies down the sandwich's throat.

 

Time is altered, but it turns out that Daddy Dras had always intended for the TTT to preserve memories only when his daughter is happy. You are doomed to serve Dras pretty macaw pictures and non-feral egg salad sandwiches, or else lose what little identity you have left. (1999-2009 are now gone)

 

I wish I were motivated enough to make a StarFox fan game.

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Granted, but I started first! I'm already looking up some merchandice for the game for Big N! Too late! Game over, pal! :falco: I want a Slippy rubber "duck".

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Granted, but it is toxic and emits a high-pitched noise that pops your eardrums. I wish for a 1967 Camaro, all decked out for drag racing.

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Granted, but it's currently on Pluto. Even Artic Circle won't be able to get it.

I wish for infinite life and the ability to feel no pain.

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Granted, but you become Andross... I wish for a pair of wings ("...and fly away... I believe I can soar... I see me running from an open door... I believe I can fly!":-) )

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Granted, but you get sucked into a jet engine on your first flight. I wish I had more hats in TF2.

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Granted, but they're Cuccos and rip your skin off. I wanna go to Kyoto!

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Granted, but you are drugged and wake up in an ice bath missing your left kidney. I wish I had mad programming skills.

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Granted, but you can't speak any other language at all.

I want a Watch Dogs like phone.

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Granted, but Aiden Pierce quickly tracks you, takes his phone back, and travels back to Chicago, to start the events of Watch_Dogs.

(Congratuations, you've become the pre-game!)

 

I wish for the events of the anime, IGPX: Immortal Grand Prix, to become reality. Mechs racing AND battling in a controlled international sport.

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Granted, but they crash into your house, killing your family. You barely survive getting sliced in half, and you create a league to stop the races. I wish I was always in my gaming prime.

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