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Corrupt-a-Wish!


geoprimedonna

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Granted, but the only car you'll be able to build will be a Beetle.

 

I wish my week off would last longer.

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Granted, but time will travel faster, making it about the same.  

 

I wish I had stuff to do.

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OK, but now you're too busy. I wish for a shooting star.

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Granted, but you're hit and killed before you can make a wish because you wish upon one, not for one.

 

I wish I'd actually do my damn work.

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Yes, but its a cardboard box with rubber bands.

 

I want superpowers.

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Granted, but you'll only be able to see through men's clothes. 

 

I want inconsequential wishes.

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Granted, but you will be unable to turn it off, and it will transmit across the Universe.

 

I wish my grades were better.

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Granted, but now you have no friends. I wish people stopped it with Christmas already. It's not even Thanksgiving, assholes.

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Granted, but now people will focus on Valentine's Day.

 

I wish I had power back on in my house.

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Granted, but you receive a pedal powered generator with a loose connection.

 

I wish everyone was a zombie...like me.

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Granted, but we all get hunted down and killed by zombie hunters.

 

I wish my disk holder thing in my computer worked properly.

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OK, but it Always fails. ALWAYS!!!!! I wish for a domesticated "Little Birdie"(infant Ridley).

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Granted, but it sooner or later becomes Ridley and you die.

 

I want to buy the world a coke and keep it company. Its the real thing!

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Granted, but it'll get diabetes and die.

 

I wish I would stop getting hurt on my legs for all sorts of reasons.

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Granted, but now your arms get randomly hurt. I wish I had the motivation to get my SSD cache working.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok, but your PC gets hacked afterwards. I wish for a Yoshi.

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Granted, but he eats you and shits you out as an egg. I wish I didn't have to study to get good grades.

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Granted, but now you'll have to double your workload for those good grades.

 

I wish my hair wasn't so broken.

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OK, but now it is all colorful like Rainbow Dash's mane. I want a Fox McCloud costume! NOW!

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Granted, but it is soaked with urine. I wish I had some Judas Priest vinyl records.

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Granted but then someone pissed on them in your sleep.

I wish I had all the fish I ever wanted.

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Granted, but it all comes from the Gulf of Mexico, near the BP oil rig that exploded years ago and still spews oil. I wish Ubisoft put textures on stationary cars in The Crew and had a better damage system.

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