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Corrupt-a-Wish!


geoprimedonna

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True, but then they nerf the shit out of your favorite stuff.

I wish I could try the T-Rex and Spinosaurus in Primal Carnage,

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Granted, but the devs instantly nerf them. I wish Finals Week wasn't so damn stressful.

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Granted, but then the Finals take too long to complete.

I wish I didn't have a uvula.

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(you do know what a uvula is right?)

Granted but then you have no work, thus not needing your new found focus.

I wish i could see thing at night in thermal imagery like snakes do.

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Granted, but you'll be blind under normal lighting conditions.

 

I wish I wasn't allergic to nuts.

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Granted, but then you get allergic to your OWN nuts  :troll:

I wish I could have 100 billion dollars in cash.

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Granted, but it is paid in pennies poured over your head, and the weight crushes you to death. I wish I could feel more confident about my Physics Final.

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You pass it but fail your math final.

I wish I was a wizz at math like my Mother.

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Granted, but now she is your teacher, watching you carefully. I wish the new Windows update wasn't so screwy.

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(How is that a problem?)

Granted but then your virus protector screws up.

I wish I could be my dinosaur.

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Granted, but you are instantly struck by a giant meteor. I wish Windows would stop saying my copy of Windows is not authentic. I had it for a year and a half now, and if it was not authentic, I would have known by now.

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(If I was struck by a meteor, you're dead too since the dust would cloud the atmosphere, choking everyone and killing off plant life since they now have no sunlight, and everyone eventually dies out.)

Granted, but then it says your computer isn't authentic.

I wish I could get taller.

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Granted, but so does everyone else. I wish the newest patch for Windows actually worked.

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Granted but then you get a blue screen of death.

I wish people would just leave me alone about my "oh you need to speed things up" when I am moving as fast as I can.

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Granted, but now people will tell you to slow down when you speed things up.

 

I wish my esophagus would be clear of mucus.

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Granted but now your nose is clogged.

I wish I could kill cancer forever.

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Granted, but now the common cold is lethal. I wish Microsoft could get their shit straight.

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Granted, but then the put Apple out of business and they become a monopoly again.

 

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has attempted to push me out of the way when in a subway car.

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Granted, but then I kill you and steal the dollar.

 

I wish I could go on a weekend vacation with me and my girlfriend to Hawaii.

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Granted, but the island is struck by a tsunami while you are there. I wish I had WiFi access everywhere.

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Granted, but as soon as you log on it becomes bogged down by users on the same band.

 

I wish vegetables tasted like bacon.

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Granted but now meat tastes like elephant dung.

I wish there there were more Resident Evil movies.

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Granted, but the next one is crappier than the last, making the first Oscar worthy.

 

I wish women didn't flock to me in droves (obvious lie).

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