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Corrupt-a-Wish!


geoprimedonna

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Granted, but you are never truly happy. I wish Windows Media player didn't freeze up EVERY TIME I TURN MY PC ON. It always freezes toward the end of the first or second song of the chosen album, and it is always while updating the libraries. 

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OK, but now you have a PC with smaller capacity.

I wish for a pendrive.

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A mysterious package arrives at your door. You open it out of curiosity, and to your gleeful surprise it's exactly what you wished for, a pendrive! (Yay!)

Not wanting to waste any time, you plug it into your computer. Annoyingly, it seems to be too full to save anything onto.

You browse through the files that the pendrive contains, curious to see what they are before you delete them.

You see a folder simply labelled "fanart".

You open the folder.

What you saw that day cannot be unseen.

I wish that I could find matching socks in the morning.

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Granted, but the socks that happen to match are too small for your feet.

 

I wish I had a new pair of jeans

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Granted but they cut the circulation of your legs and you faint.

I wish everyone would just lay down their weapons and stop killing each other for the sake of ideology or "religion", and unite under one roof.

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Granted, but everyone gets tired of each other and begins killing each other over race instead. I wish AT&T didn't have such shitty service for the past week or two now. I am tired of it randomly disconnecting me from multiplayer games.

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OK, but now you have a PC, with a very small capacity.

I wish for an Arwing.

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Granted, but it is a 5" model. I wish there were fewer gay NSFW sprays on TF2 servers. I am tired of seeing that shit.

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Granted, but now the voice chat is filled with NSFW stuff.

 

I wish I could have my own nonsensical reality show to make money from

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Granted, you are hired as the host of up-and-coming reality TV show "Are You Smarter than a Venomian Soldier?", but the show's horrible market appeal causes it to be a commercial flop, and the producers terminate your contract 7 episodes in.

I wish for a lifetime supply of high quality chocolate bars.

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The chocolate bars are indeed high quality, but they are filled with maggots, a delicacy in some countries.

I wish it snowed more often.

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Granted, but it dumps hard, and your house is buried in 10 feet of snow, making Buffalo's blizzard look like a light dusting in comparison. I wish it wasn't impossible to find a Fox McCloud Amiibo.

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Granted but not you can't find a Falco Amiibo.

I wish I could play the class I want in Get to the Chopper in Primal Carnage.

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OK, but now they will end the game in 3 months.

I wish for a pencil sharpener.

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Granted, but it doesn't connect properly with the little plastic thing that catches the shavings, so you can only use it over a trash can without accidently dropping pencil shavings all over the ground.

I wish for a dynamic soundtrack to play in my head whenever I do things.

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Granted, but it is nothing but Disney Channel shit and Justin Bieber. I wish there weren't so many gay sprays in TF2.

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Granted but now all you get are Vagina shot sprays, and everybody gets permanently  Vac banned for disorderly conduct.

I wish I got all my nutrients from meat.

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Granted, but now the meat tastes like salad. I wish I had awesome vocals so I can be the front man for a power metal band.

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OK, but now... WAIT! HOLD IT!!!

I wish for cookies.

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Granted, but Agent Smith throws them at the wall. I wish my physics class wasn't so damn boring. It's hard to pay attention when there is very little stimulation.

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OK, but now math class is boring.

I wish that Kurt (SFXL guy) wouldn't be so slow to respond me!

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Granted, but now you are too slow. I wish everyone would get their damn vaccines so we don't get preventable a outbreaks like the measles outbreak at Disneyland.

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Granted, but the vaccines actually end up having side effects such as upset stomach. I wish for a personal chef.

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Granted, but the personal chef has only one arm. 

 

I wish for new students to scare in the chat.

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Granted, but they get tired of your shit quickly and track down your IP, smash your PC, and shoot your dog. I wish I had long hair.

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