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Corrupt-a-Wish!


geoprimedonna

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Granted, but the loss of productivity caused by angsty smokers and sudden loss of jobs in the tobacco industry results in mass unemployment and economic collapse.

I wish for a bottle of Tums.

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(We'll get over it)

Granted but it turns out to be salt tablets.

I wish the Mars Travelers good luck on making all the way there on their one way trip.

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Granted, but they get murdered by aliens when they get there.

I wish my laptop was better.

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OK, but now your internet stinks.

I wish for pie.

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Granted, but it's mushroom pie. I wish wheat bread didn't make me want to gag, considering how major a part of my diet it is.

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OK, but now you will eat rice instead.

I wish for the game Armillo for a Wii U (but I don't have a Wii U!).

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Granted, but you will never own a WiiU to play the game on. I wish my friend would get to drawing my fursona.

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OK, but chicken nuggets have a possibly carcinogenic in them (pink goo), so you die with cancer decades later.

I wish for a Mew.

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Granted, but he runs away. I wish I had some furry friends IRL.

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OK, but they don't like you.

I wish for a penny.

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Granted, but a guy mugs you so he can buy drugs with it. He is instantly gunned down, as pennies are absolutely worthless. I wish I had unlimited funds.

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Granted, but they are in Zimbabwe dollars.

 

I wish I had a WiiU.

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Granted, but Nintendo drops support a month after you get it. I wish GTA V would just release on PC already. I want to go to Los Santo, but the delays are getting ridiculous.

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Granted, but it is more bugged than Assassin's Creed: Unity on release.

 

I wish I had a driver's license.

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Granted, but you lose it after being accused of drunk driving. I wish I had my PC in my room.

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Granted, but it was made in the 20th century.

 

I wish my dad didn't think so poorly of me.

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Granted, but now he has ultra-high expectations of you, and you are so busy studying that you no longer have time to play video games. I wish people would stop attaching fag to the end of words to describe people. It's stupid, and no one likes being insulted in such a way.

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Granted, but now they add "retard".

 

I wish I could eat meat again.

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Granted, but the ability only lasts for a millisecond each day.

 

I wish that I wasn't alone on SF-O with the Google, Bing, and Yahoo bots right now.

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Granted, but people only come to use the corrupt a wish thread.

I wish for a tasteless Hawaiian shirt.

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OK, but now you look wierd with that Hawaiian shirt, and for some unknown reason, Katt is looking at you like this:

 

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I wish for a Spacefox.

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Granted, but he suffocates after 30 seconds. I wish I had books 3 and 5 of the Scott Pilgrim series.

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Granted, but they are written in Gibberish.

I wish the corruption below corrupts the corruption.

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Granted, but everyone is confused. I wish Nintendo didn't announce that they are going to make mobile games. This is a sign that the gaming industry is dying, as more companies release microtransaction laden shit heaps.

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