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Corrupt-a-Wish!


geoprimedonna

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Granted, but due to a clause in the contract, said downfall only occurred for half of a millisecond.

 

I wish for an air conditioner.

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Granted, but it is loud, emits a black smoke, and causes your room to smell like rotting corpses. I wish for a space ship with a warp drive.

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What you actually get is a ship with all the girls from Starfox. I want a Zhu Zhu Pet. God, I'm bored, all right!

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Granted, but he is not real. Instead, you get a copy of Hey You, Pikachu! I wish I could really get a ship with the girls of Starfox aboard. Krystal is pretty hot.

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Granted, but the first relationship between you and her result Marcus. I wish for a Birdo.

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Granted, but it watches you in your sleep.

I want to destroy anything at will.

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OK, but you don't have hands or feet. I want a Moogle.

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Granted, but now you can't use Google. I wish I had a fedora.

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Granted, except now you have to leave your family behind, as well as your job (if you have one) and spend eternity searching for lost artifacts and antiquities  from years past, while having secret societies try to kill you for them.

 

I wish I was a Dragon.

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Granted, but you are locked up forever.

I wish I could visit fantasies/daydreams.

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Granted, but you will never see reality again. I wish I could lose my pursuers.

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Granted, but now no one wants to be with you and you die alone.

 

I want humanity to make world wide salt water purifiers that take sea water, filter out the nasty stuff, and purify ti for drinking by people.

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Granted, but now the water tastes like hot sauce. I wish everyone would stop trying to eat me.

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Nah, you're the soul-fried KFC Cucco! I want Krystal.

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Granted, but now all the Krystal fans form a secret organization to kidnap her for themselves.

 

I wish we could colonize planets.

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Granted, but the events of Halo occur, and most of mankind is destroyed in a huge war. I wish geoprimedonna would realize I'm a fox, not a cucco. I'm going to kick her ass, then roast her with a side of potatoes. Mmm, penguin.

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Granted, but then you have her whole flock of Penguin allies pecking your eyes out.

If there was an alien invasion, I would want to join the aliens instead of resisting them.

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Granted, but you are forced to scrub their toilets. I wish Minecraft tracked how many hours you play. I am really curious.

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Little does he know...

It does! (Does it? I swear it does.)

Ahem.

Granted, but it is always false.

I want that fucking Webkinz your pets can be murdered rumor out of my head.

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Granted, but then your head melts into a puddle of liquefied flesh, blood and marrow.

I wish I could have a battle tank as my form of transportation.

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Granted, but the AC is broken, and you sweat up a storm in it. I wish I knew how to set the day of the week on my watch.

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Granted, but you no longer know how to set the time of the day on your watch.

 

I wish for a bag of marshmallows

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Granted, but not people are trying to devour them before you do.

I wish I had I gun license.

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Granted, so you buy a shotgun. When you go to fire it, you are not prepared for the recoil, and it slams you back, launching you across the room. You break several bones, and your spine is fractured. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. I wish I had funding to build and run video game servers. Then I can start a company.

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