Official SF-O Polandball Thread

[DZComposer]

We need a Polandball thread. Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO!

 

What is Polandball?

They're funny comics about countries anthropomorphized as balls called "countryballs." The humor is based on national stereotypes (IF THIS KIND OF HUMOR OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE LEAVE THIS THREAD. DRAMA POSTS WILL BE DELETED). You've already seen a few.

 

THIS THREAD IS FOR FUN, NOT FOR DRAMA.

 

What are countryballs?

Countryballs are the representation of countries or peoples. They take the form of a ball that looks like a country's flag. They are ALL drawn as circles WITH EYES ONLY. NO MOUTHS. NO HAIR. NO LIMBS. NO LINES BETWEEN COLORS UNLESS THE FLAG HAS IT. DEFINATELY NO CIRCLE, RECTANGLE, OR LINE TOOLS. MOUSE-DRAWN ONLY.

 

EXCEPTIONS:

Poland - Poland is drawn upside down. Why? Because everything in Poland is upside down according to the Official Polandball Map.

USA - USA always has sunglasses

UK - Always wears a monocle and top hat. (England may be drawn with them, too, but it is optional)

Kazakhstan - Is a brick. Because it is Kazakhstan. Rounded rectangle, long not tall.

Israel - 4-dimensional hypercube. Why? JEWISH PHYSICS.(Similar exceptions: any predominantly Jewish region, such as Russia's Jewish Autonomous Oblast, Michigan because the flag says circumspice, which is close enough to circumcise to be effected by Jewish Physics)

Nepal - Nepal is the SHAPE of Nepal's flag, but with teeth. RAWR! Bonus points if you use the method described in the Nepalese Constitution when you draw it.(Similar exceptions: Ohio, Pre-colonial Indian states)

Reichtangle - The reichtangle is, obviously, a rectangle depicting the Imperial German flag. It is a tall rectangle, though, not a wide one.

Singapore - A triangle, sometimes called "Tringapore." He was once a ball, but constant opposing pressure from Malaysia and Japan permanently disfigured him. (Similar Exception: Bermuda, because of the Bermuda triangle)

 

Polandball Speak:

Any country that speaks English has perfect English (regional dialects permitted).

Any country that does not speak English speaks in broken English, usually with words from their language mixed in. For example, Germany might say "O MEIN GOTT! Österreich! What yuo doings down in zis keller?! Du ist of pervert!"

 

Where did Polandball come from?

It came from the international board on the German site Krautchan (essentially the German 4chan). It was created by a user named FALCO (no, not ) to troll a Polish user.

 

Common Stereotypes used:

UK is a snob

USA is fat

Poland does dirty labor like cleaning toilets

Germany is rich and greedy, demanding repayment of debts. He controls the European Union. Germany is collecting wealth to eventually fund the rise of the inevitable 4th Reich, which is represented by the Reichtangle.

Greece and Spain are poor and in debt. Spain laments his fall from once being the world's superpower. That ended when UK broke all his ships.

Latvia strives for one goal: POTATO.

Russia is always drunk and aggressive.

Canada is super polite and apologetic. Unless hockey is involved. Then he becomes a homicidal maniac. Also, if you're a seal expect the be clubbed to death.

Brazil says "Hue" all the time.

Argentina is white. He swears.

Austria is a psychotherapist. (Freud was Austrian) Also, do not go into his keller. Bad things happen there.

Switzerland is a nurse (sometimes an physician, too) because the swiss flag looks a lot like a medical symbol.

Democratic Republic of the Congo is a bad physician who tries and fails to cure Ebola. This is because it is usually abbreviated "DR Congo."

Israel is rich and greedy, most of his wealth coming from Germany. (It usually goes like this: I: Germoney, gib monies. G: Nein! I: Holocaust. G: Ich of sorries! Takings euromonies) His super power is when he sits on USA, he controls his actions like a puppet.

 

There are many more.

 

POLANDBALL VOCABULARY:

Clay - Territory/Land

Blanda-Up - Merge with another country/region/territory

Anschluss - Forced Blanda-up. Usually done by Reichtangle, but can be used by others.

Kurwa - The universal Polish curse word. Pronounced "koor-va"

Relevant - What every country strives to be: People care about you when you're relevant.

Denbts - Debts

yuo - you

Entente - Another name for the Allied Powers of WWI

 

 

I WANT TO MAKE ONE!

OK, all you need is MS Paint (or whatever the Mac equivalent is).

Though, you need to follow these rules or else your comic is cancer and must be removed to save the life of the thread.

 

Now, I will start with a couple of classics and a newer one:

 

Poland Cannot Into Space:

 

JEWISH PHYSICS

 

Yuo cannot the box.

 

The source of England's power and success:

Edited April 20, 2015 by DZComposer

[Dr. Orange]

It's like really late. So will of making more soon.

[DZComposer]

Those are not countryballs. And you used the circle tool. :no:

[Scott7]

[Scott7]

Double post because not of wantings to be page-jockey.

[Dr. Orange]

Those are not countryballs. And you used the circle tool.

 

You try using a fucking mouse pad to draw at least coherent circles.

[DZComposer]

[DZComposer]

One more for today:

[Scott7]

[Alpha Sapphire]

This is a very interesting concept. Sometime when I'm on a desktop computer, I might have to give this a try.

[DZComposer]

Here's one I made a while ago after reading a news story about how the French railroad SNCF bought a bunch of new trains too wide for their stations.

That weird blimp thing in the background of the 3rd panel is a reference to this fine series:

[DZComposer]

Thread needs some Reichtangle.

The beginning of the comic is a reference to the lifting of the Reichtangle ban on /r/polandball.

[DZComposer]

[DZComposer]

Zimbabwe.

[DZComposer]

Also, because today is a special day for a certain countryball:

[DZComposer]

[DZComposer]

[CrypticQuery]

 

This is becoming one of my favorite threads on this site.

[DZComposer]

One by me.

The Lone Star Rises Pt. 1:

[DZComposer]

[DZComposer]

Now PBs

[DZComposer]

This one probably needs a little history lesson to go with it.

In WWI, Germany knew that Russia was going to be a BIG problem for them during the war. So the Kaiser gets a brilliant idea: Vladimir Lenin was living in exile in Germany. The Germans gave him a bunch of money and guns and put him on a train back to Russia. It worked. The Bolsheviks destabilized Russia, eventually turning into the Soviet Union. This resulting in Russia pulling-out of the war.

In other words, Germany kind of created the USSR. Fast forward a couple of decades and the Soviets sack Berlin. In the comic, Nazi Germany goes back in time to gib Imperial Germany ze schlappe for creating his own future doom.

[DZComposer]

[Scourge]

It's like really late. So will of making more soon.

Why am I not purple

 

I also demand cat ears

[DZComposer]

Forgive me, Polandball Gods, but I couldn't resist: