LazerMaster5 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 shoot the announcer in the face, and then the camera in the lens. No need to televise this, now. Stanley slammed his GT500 into Max's Chevy Tahoe, smashing in the side. However, this was not enough to kill Max, and he jumped out and pulled out his... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Kitten bazooka. He shot it at the ground doing a rocket jump. He then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 lost his legs, as rocket jumps are physically impossible. As Stanley lay there dying in a pool of his own blood, he muttered... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted March 27, 2015 Author Share Posted March 27, 2015 "Somebody ate my pickled onions with greasy hands." He then passed, in a somewhat quiet, but horribly painful way. MEANWHILE, IN FRANCE... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Clearwater turned his computer on, only to find... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted March 27, 2015 Author Share Posted March 27, 2015 an email with more photos of the movie "Rio." He decided to contact Bill Gates about the emails because... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 he had no clue how to block emails. Bill Gates laughed and began spamming Clearwater with emails with links to yiff folders. This disgusted Clearwater, so he... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted March 27, 2015 Author Share Posted March 27, 2015 Punched Bill Gates in the... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 dick. Clearwater then said, "Why did you name your company after your dick?" and proceeded to hit him with a... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 Computer monitor yelling: "YOU ARE BEING MONITORED!" And then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticQuery Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 ...somewhere across town, a thread revival was in order. Or rather, Pennyworth Wellington III was taking a massive risk to his personal philanthropy. He had made up his mind, and decided to re-open his grandfather's ancient thread manufacturing plant. The connections were in order; the plant would be supplying thread to factories nationwide, and he would be seeing quite a tidy profit from the endeavor. There was only one problem; the building had not been in use since the late eighteen-hundreds. Wellington III's arms shook as he inserted the key into the lock of the main door of the building. He didn't even think to brush his scarf away from the front of his sweater-vest before undertaking such a momentous task, and he was regretting that lack of action at that very moment. The key itself was almost as large as his forearms, and was solid cast-iron. With a dull, reverberating thunk, the key turned. Gripping tightly against the door handle and mustering what little strength that he did have, Pennyworth tugged and tugged, hoping that the door would cooperate. With much groaning and telltale hinge-squeaking, the vast door began to ease open, and Pennyworth was taken aback at what he found inside! The interior of the building, thought to be abandoned and empty, actually housed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 A gigantic Bender statue with words carved into his butt. Those words were... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticQuery Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 ...Made in Zimbabwe. And thus, Wellington III was inspired. He would have to make a journey to the great land inscribed upon the statue's posterior. Preparations would need to be made quickly, however! Without hesitation, he tore off into a run toward the airport. As he reached the front gates... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 ...he realized that he left the easy bake oven on! He could either go back to his house and turn it off and save his dog, or take the last plane to Zimbabwe. The choice was clear. He... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 ...returned to house, busted down the door, passed up the easybake oven, ignored the dog and stole into his basement. As the flames grew higher he braved the smoke carrying his beloved hentai body pillow out the front door just as the fire consumed the entire house. "Come Yuki-chan," he yelled victoriously, "the world awaits!" As he made his way to the street, he... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticQuery Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 ...was accosted by a passing news van. The camera crew inside was so transfixed by the raging weeaboo beside them that they completely overlooked the fact that the upcoming intersection was controlled by a traffic light. As fate would have it, this stoplight was red for their direction of travel. As the van blasted through the stoplight, ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 ...the driver receives a vision from the Great Dreamer Cthulhu and is plowed by a speeding semi on a green light. Our hero then crosses the street uphased as the flames, panic and carnage grow around him. Just then he stopped to find a five dollar bill blowing in the wind, he promptly let be blown by the wind before setting his foot down to catch. "I will use this for unspeakable things," he said as he crossed the street and headed toward the... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shmibli7 Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 ...Local Wendy's. "One does not travel to Zimbabwe without proper sustinence." He whispered to himself as he threw his body pillow into a parking space and entered the eatery. He approached the counter, ordered eighty-seven chicken nuggets. To his astonishment, the hearty meal was surprisingly cheap, coming out to a neat five dollars when tax was added in. He withdrew his five dollar bill but, rather than handing it to the young lady behind the register, he flung himself upon the counter and began waving the bank note wildly. "This is a stick-up!" He declared before demanding that his meal be free. However, his plan would not be so easy, for sitting calmly at one of the tables was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 ...the ghost of David Bowie. Our hero fell to his knees as the patheon of the fallen celebrities taken during the onslaught of 2016 approached. They said nothing as our hero cried tears of joy and sadness. "You're here," he cried, "you're all here...I failed you my masters." As he bowed his head in sorrow, he felt a hand rest upon his shoulder. "Death is not the end," Prince reassured, "it is but the beginning of a beautiful journey. Don't weep for us, applaud us as you always have." He then rose to his feet, eyes leveled to the horizon. He knew it was time for... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UAZ-469 Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 ...summoning Mickey Mouse with the almighty golden spaghetti, a chainsaw and the long forgotten words of Trololo in a forbidden ritual, as only Mickey Mouse would be able to help him into following David Bowie's footsteps, his one and only idol when he was still a pile of cells waiting to form something that resembled a living being. So Wellington III quickly stormed the kitchen, transported the chefs to the penal zone, stole the ingredients and soon began to cook the golden spaghetti, all while chanting mad. He knew where he could get the necessary chainsaw, but how should he learn the words of Trololo? He heard from a legend which told, that those were once able to defend a tiny banana dictatorship somewhere in the carribean, ruled by a mystical creature named "El Presidente", so this should be his next destination. But of course it wasn't that easy, especially because... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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