Starfox Assault MEGA RANT. Rob lays down the law at long last.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

Updated with Fichina, a level that isn't completely terrible!

yeah toppest lel;

>Fichina better than Katina

but I expected something like this from you, your argument has fallen into parody-level humerusness 

You hate a good game for the most trivial of reasons, I think that's even funnier than when JonTron hates a game for not being as uniform as a Taiwanese high school.

bad game? what? seriously what?

once again Assault is still loved by many, though receives unfair critisism. check out Gamerate; check out the fan reception 83% positive, I'm glad you think you are right when you are in the minority percentage of people who hate the game, keep fighting the flood. also an average rating of 7-8/10 is pretty damn good on gamerate or anywhere else. SF64 was limited HEAVILY, it was the best such a small game could be, Assault definitely wasn't perfect for what it was, but it was still great nontheless. the All-range Arwing sections beat the living shit out of the "all range" Arwing in SF64, the thing felt more like a hovercraft than an aircraft, plus you can hardly fly up or down in SF64, the maneuverability was far more...maneuverable in Assault than 64. the LandMaster? I'm sorry I just don't like to drive a tank that scrolls forward uncontrollably, Assault's LandMaster is still one of my favorite vehicles in any video game ever, such a smooth ride with fluid and easy controls, much like the Arwing.

The rail shooters are every bit as redundant as in 64, that's why I just don't like them that much other than in SNES where it is literally the entire game anyway, even then you can practically do it with your eyes closed.

Assault was everything a new StarFox game should be, just with a few more upgrades, and more polish and refinement. wasn't perfect, but I still have a lot of fun playing it, aside from the on foot gameplay, which isn't even that bad, I like it more than Medal of Honor, literally the only gameplay area of the game that is actually bad is the wing-riding. "Wing riding is such a thrill." No, it's a tedious flop of an "innovation."

It all comes down to one thing though, is it fun? yes, Assault was still a very entertaining game, a GameCube classic, and most of all a beacon of what the games in the future should reflect on, obviously the game's aged, so a new game should be polished and succeed where Assault and 64 failed, AND best all the things those games succeeded.........or we can fly in a straight line and shoot things.

[Robert Monroe]

I'm sorry mate, I had no idea that floaty poorly functioning controls and empty soulless sandbox levels with arbitrary "kill X" counters and new mechanics that only serve to interrupt the flow of gameplay topped off with the worst Starwolf duel ever were only little problems! Surely I should bow down to the face of the almighty consumer game ratings and accept their stances as unfallible perfect truth and not think for myself!

Sod off, you fucking Autismal shitbrain. Or at least read my entire rant about why I hate Assault before making a fool of yourself, because the only one here making a parody of themselves is you C:

[fanfictiondreamer]

I'm not crazy about Starfox Assault for a different reason. I liked Starfox Adventures way too much to move on to its sequel. I didn't like the changes that were made to the game compare to Adventures, it didn't seem unique in any way, I was more than thrilled to find that they was not a lot of things that was likable about the game. To me, that was a huge relief and my opinions about Starfox Adventures never changed. That game means too much to me. So, yeah, I really don't care too much about this game.

[Xidphel]

Let's not derail this thread at least until Rob's done with his rant. Only 4-5 levels to go.

That means you, Left and Dras.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

I'm sorry mate, I had no idea that floaty poorly functioning controls and empty soulless sandbox levels with arbitrary "kill X" counters and new mechanics that only serve to interrupt the flow of gameplay topped off with the worst Starwolf duel ever were only little problems! Surely I should bow down to the face of the almighty consumer game ratings and accept their stances as unfallible perfect truth and not think for myself!

I never said you shouldn't think for myself, why do you try do you imply that I have ANY faith in the vast majority of the human race? I just told you what the masses think. for christ sake read my statement on the DZComposer's gameplay tread, I want a StarFox game with more complicated missions. SNES, 64, and Assault ALL have extremely simple missions that which in their own games are almost always the same thing over and over. SNES; fly forward and shoot things. 64; fly forward and shoot things, defend the great fox ONCE, and fly around and shoot down enemies once in awhile, Assault; switch between Arwing and LandMaster frequently and destroy all enemies, fly forward and shoot things for 3 7 min missions, fly around and shoot down enemies, and defend the gate ONCE. don't get me wrong I love all those games, but I want almost every mission to feel like a real battle, something with complex and realistic objectives, something like Halo Reach, BattleField 3 or StarWars Rogue Squadron, but spend more time in Arwing and or LandMaster like Assault, with some on foot that's a bit better.

Sod off, you fucking Autismal shitbrain. Or at least read my entire rant about why I hate Assault before making a fool of yourself, because the only one here making a parody of themselves is you C:

"Ugh it stung me!!" Autismal? you just called me retarded AGAIN I hope you weren't aware of that. well I'm sorry I probbed the Hornet's nest one too many times. I thought I of all people was condeded, but I know for sure now that I've met someone who's even more so than I am.

 

Yeah, yeah I know how it works.....I'll wait in my led lined fallout shelter. grab a snickers bruh

[Xortberg]

once again Assault is still loved by many, though receives unfair critisism. check out Gamerate; check out the fan reception 83% positive, I'm glad you think you are right when you are in the minority percentage of people who hate the game, keep fighting the flood. also an average rating of 7-8/10 is pretty damn good on gamerate or anywhere else. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argumentum_ad_populum

 

Saying "but everyone else likes it!!!" is not an argument. Lots of people like the Transformers movies, or Justin Bieber. Lots of people like shit. Come on, you go all edgemaster "I don't have faith in humanity" in one post when you're relying on "humanity's" opinion to fuel your fucking argument. Want to argue with Rob? Address his points. Saying "you're in the minority, so you must be wrong" is not an argument.

[Robert Monroe]

I thought I of all people was condeded, but I know for sure now that I've met someone who's even more so than I am.

Happy to bring surprises to your life then bruh! Have fun in that fallout shelter where you'll surely be safe from my big mean internet words. C:

[Drasiana]

That means you, Left and Dras.

 

I was the pedestrian walking by the building and you threw a wine bottle out the window and it hit me in the face

 

Rob's topic is good and well-thought-out and has given this game more critical thought than it honestly deserves, gg

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

 

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argumentum_ad_populum

 

Saying "but everyone else likes it!!!" is not an argument. Lots of people like the Transformers movies, or Justin Bieber. Lots of people like shit. Come on, you go all edgemaster "I don't have faith in humanity" in one post when you're relying on "humanity's" opinion to fuel your fucking argument. Want to argue with Rob? Address his points. Saying "you're in the minority, so you must be wrong" is not an argument.

once again, I never said that, my point with the humanity thing was an example of how I don't look at popularity to justify my argument, I was just stating that his opinion of the game is still on the losing side of a still raging battle. I've done this so many times with him, and unless the landscape changes, I don't see the point in delivering an argument that's already long-since out of my way.

 

Happy to bring surprises to your life then bruh! Have fun in that fallout shelter where you'll surely be safe from my big mean internet words. C:

I was trying to imply your a nuclear warhead that obliterates everything in existence instead of being subtle, but clear. I prefer to be subtle, but clear, but if you want to chop my head off the moment I say anything you can't counter be my guest.

[Xidphel]

 

Yeah, yeah I know how it works.....I'll wait in my led lined fallout shelter. grab a snickers bruh

 

1. I can barely read what you said.

2. I cannot understand how one can fuck up quotes.

3. Hush I said.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

I was the pedestrian walking by the building and you threw a wine bottle out the window and it hit me in the face

 

Rob's topic is good and well-thought-out and has given this game more critical thought than it honestly deserves, gg

well-thought-out, more like overly obsessed with hatred, he hates the game with overly critical rage like anti-semetism obsesses over the very existence of jews and wants them to be destroyed. good is hardly the word I'd choose to describe his hate rally

[Xortberg]

 I don't look at popularity to justify my argument,

 

Hmmm...

 

 I'm glad you think you are right when you are in the minority percentage of people who hate the game, keep fighting the flood. 

 

HMMMMMMM.........

[Xidphel]

 

well-thought-out, more like overly obsessed with hatred, he hates the game with overly critical rage like anti-semetism obsesses over the very existence of jews and wants them to be destroyed. good is hardly the word I'd choose to describe his hate rally

I'm not sure if there's an appropriate wat image for this post so I'll just go with the following:

[ArwingFan]

well-thought-out, more like overly obsessed with hatred, he hates the game with overly critical rage like anti-semetism obsesses over the very existence of jews and wants them to be destroyed. good is hardly the word I'd choose to describe his hate rally

He may hate the game with a burning passion but that doesn't mean his points aren't valid, and if you read his review there are some things about the game he actually likes such as the Meteo level.

[Naza Sutera]

but I expected something like this from you, your argument has fallen into parody-level humerusness 

...Um, was it not you who stalked someone from YouTube to this community just to start arguments with said someone? Then got put on blast for the community to see? And what's more, Dras and Xort has been reading you for filth since inception. When nothing's good on cable, people come here to see what drama was kicked up by you. That's parody-level "humerusness", if you ask me.

 

You hate a good game for the most trivial of reasons, I think that's even funnier than when JonTron hates a game for not being as uniform as a Taiwanese high school.

Mind you, we are talking about a video game, trivial in and of itself. Provided that none of us work for Rare/Microsoft or Nintendo, this isn't paying anyone's bills.

 

bad game? what? seriously what?

He is talking about what the game gave him personally. If you like it, that should be fine, right? See here is the thing about opinions; you can only speak from your perspective if you want it to be honest and cohesive. Fuck what ING or GameRatings (is that thing or did I make it up? I dunno...), he's talking about what the game gave his soul, based on his personality, his experiences, and his knowledge.

 

once again Assault is still loved by many, though receives unfair critisism. check out Gamerate; check out the fan reception 83% positive, I'm glad you think you are right when you are in the minority percentage of people who hate the game, keep fighting the flood. also an average rating of 7-8/10 is pretty damn good on gamerate or anywhere else. SF64 was limited HEAVILY, it was the best such a small game could be, Assault definitely wasn't perfect for what it was, but it was still great nontheless. the All-range Arwing sections beat the living shit out of the "all range" Arwing in SF64, the thing felt more like a hovercraft than an aircraft, plus you can hardly fly up or down in SF64, the maneuverability was far more...maneuverable in Assault than 64. the LandMaster? I'm sorry I just don't like to drive a tank that scrolls forward uncontrollably, Assault's LandMaster is still one of my favorite vehicles in any video game ever, such a smooth ride with fluid and easy controls, much like the Arwing.

Dude, it's as if this is a civil rights movement, and you are the Malcom X of SF: Assault. In any case, what the heck is the point in bringing up what others think about the game as to support your argument about why he should like the game? Especially when 1) you don't care about other people's opinions, and 2) you retract it when you are kicked in the stomach with the fact that he really is entitled to his own opinion? It's strange to me when you project that Rob is forcing his opinion down people's throat as fact, when that's pretty much what you've done since you hit the streets of SFO. Its fine you adore the game for all that its worth, but what does that have to do with anyone else, including Rob?

 

It all comes down to one thing though, is it fun? yes, Assault was still a very entertaining game, a GameCube classic, and most of all a beacon of what the games in the future should reflect on, obviously the game's aged, so a new game should be polished and succeed where Assault and 64 failed, AND best all the things those games succeeded.........or we can fly in a straight line and shoot things.

Seriously though. Do you know what an opinion is and how it works? Like, how it is not always necessarily (congruent with) a fact? To say the game is fun is not a fact. Once again, you're talking about what the game gave you personally. It has nothing to do with anyone else.

[Robert Monroe]

Updated with Sauria! Its... not Katina, at least.

[Ori]

And here I thought I could just see Rob's review get finished without the eventual issue of locking halfway... c'mon guise, just wait a little more...

 

 

If this is going from a in-depth dissection of the game and its flaws included to just personal feuds over petty, tiny reasons  then I think there isn't anything interest to see here anymore. Back to cable I guess.

 

I loved Assault when I first played. I still do like it. It's a fun game and all, and yet I wholeheartedly agree with Rob because he pinpoints exactly every single thing it could have done better (Rob would be great at CinemaSins! *ding*), either things to common knowledge or that he found himself. Nothing in the series is fully explored and thus it doesn't piece up as a whole into a masterpiece, it's not hard to tell.

 

While SF and Assault in question had good potential and interesting perks, unfortunately we never see those truly done by anyone else than fans so we're left to basically speculation and theories. If you have fanon to share and things you want to make better - or rather, if you want to give life to your personal pipe-dream, the fanfiction board is just down below at the fanart section.

Liking something is good. Learning to make fun of it and bear to see others do the same while taking those in a mature way is even better.

 

Also, reality-check: We're still talking about videogames here right? Not about ideals? Or anything that would need a poll to bring back the Counter-Point?

[Robert Monroe]

Don't worry Orbi, I fully plan on completeing this review. I've really nothing more to say to LeftShoe if he's not even going to present counterpoints about my miles-long essay of problems and just be a dork. Have faith!

[Vy'drach]

Bloody hell, calm down folks. Can't leave y'all alone for a minute, can I?

 

Now then, Rob, don't start insulting people, that's the fastest way to turn a debate, which is fine and good, into an argument. A debate is like a chess match, civil, intelligent, back and forth. An argument is like two 350 lb dudes in their underwear wrestling in a kiddie pool full of mud in the living room, it might be amusing at first, but it's going to get old kinda fast, there's going to be a mess everywhere, shit people don't want to see is going to start popping out, and both parties involved can't exactly be called intelligent then.

 

And Al, this is a topic about the subjective opinion of one member of the site. It is an accurate representation to him and him alone. Debating the point is alright but understand that it's intangible, nebulous thing vs. intangible, nebulous thing at the end of it. When debating opinions, you must become very familiar with the phrase, "We'll have to agree to disagree." Lord knows I don't agree with a number of things he says, but I'm not him, and neither are you. If I did an Assault playthrough, it would be very different. But mate, you are getting worked up over preferences.

 

Now simmer down the lot of you, keep it civil, debate the points and not each other, and get familiar with agreeing to disagree when an impasse is met. Big Papa Vy is watching y'all.

 

[Joseph.]

Hey Rob, nice review man. Can you please do one for Adventures. Please! :'D

 

Even tho Assault is my favorite Star Fox game (Due to Nostalgia) I gotta admit you did a great job explaining how badly the story was written. I was 9 when I first played this game so story didn't really appeal to me at the time but the gameplay did. However, as the years went by I notice how bad Assault was compared to other Star Fox games.  Maybe this game could be recommend for kids. They might enjoy it xD 

[Drasiana]

An argument is like two 350 lb dudes in their underwear wrestling in a kiddie pool full of mud in the living room, it might be amusing at first, but it's going to get old kinda fast, there's going to be a mess everywhere, shit people don't want to see is going to start popping out, and both parties involved can't exactly be called intelligent then.

 

this deserves being in its own post

 

anyway carry on

[Robert Monroe]

Adventures and Command are both on my hit list, yes. I'll also be doing reviews of SF64, SF1 and SF2 as well. Basically I wanna give the whole series a nice in depth look eventually.

[Pharaoh Shadon]

Ah Sauria. During my LP, I rightfully called it "Sauria Filler" because that's what it really is, filler. This was probably my least favorite level as a kid, and still is. For one, MISSED opprotunity to bring a place back from Adventures (Imagine doing this mission at the walled city.)

 

Tricky then crushes Fox to death and the game is over

During an LP of this game, I actually added the resident evil 4 "You are dead" Screen after Tricky slammed on Fox XD I was debating if I should just end the part like that or not. Sadly, I couldn't because I didn't have the best gear at the time of recording it.

 

I guess the Aparoids killed his parents?

A prince still has responsibility in a kingdom last I heard. 

 

 Krystal just laughs because she's not allowed to have a personality or input in a conversation that technically regards her.

Isn't that a normal response? I know a few people that basically did that same laugh and saying "Okay, that's enough guys" in that same tone. I don't get this whole "Krystal has no personality" thing that people keep saying DX

[Robert Monroe]

My point is no mention is ever made of Tricky's family and the game implies Tricky is in charge. Which makes it seems like they're dead. Which happens a lot in this game, I've noticed.

And as for Krystal her personality basically changes every game. She was feisty and outgoing in Adventures, but she's waifish in Assault. To say nothing of her RAINBOW of different personalities in Command. I was merely taking a shot at how Fox and Tricky are arguing over Fox shacking with Krystal and her only reaction is an uninspired bland and flat girly-giggle with "OH YOU BOYS" topped on it.

ALSO I UPDATED AGAIN. Corneria this time, a bastion of mediocrity.

[Naza Sutera]

What the hell, Rob? You go ham and cheese on Corneria's detail just to say its ugly? lol