Starfox Assault MEGA RANT. Rob lays down the law at long last.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

"You all just hate me because I'm new!"

 

• Personal Text:Your pathetic opinions are isignificant

 

Uuuh huh. Yep. That's exactly what our problem is. You being new. Yep.

 

Has nothing to do with the fact that you've been outright told by mods not to double post and up above you deliberately did so and acknowledged that fact either.

 

Forums aren't that hard to figure out bro

so your trying to imply that I care, and that "My taste in anime is better than yours." is any better than my own personal text? If it hurts that much I can change it, if you can do the same with yours. see what I did there? yeah. being a hypocrite doesn't make you better.

Joseph,

They were always the same game? You mean to tell me Namco wasted 3 years on it!?! That is just some lazy development from Namcos side -.-

 

At least with Adventures, the team behind it actually put in effort lol

Effort? the graphics and fighting gameplay was impressive, but the Arwing and action adventure meld DID NOT work well AT ALL, it felt like two TOTALLY different games. at least in Assault the vehicles and jumping in and out seemed to have worked very well, at least well enough to where they can bring in some interesting mission concepts, it just needed more sophisticated mission objectives. Point an shoot like in previous StarFox games just won't work anymore. come to think of it, I want StarFox to be more like Mercinaries X BattleField 3 rather than Halo Reach.

As for the multiplayer for StarFox, I'd like to see a combination between 643d multiplayer and StarFox Assault multiplayer, but be able to build custom maps. *Speaking of Halo Reach; Forge. But obviously the objects used in construction should be huge; made to be built around for the Arwing and LandMaster, and perhaps other included vehicles. like being able to build a super structure you can fly around tunnels inside with the Arwings or Wolfens, and Drive around in a LandMaster through various terrain, imagine fortifying a large building, having players in LandMasters rolling around in crevasses along the building's exterior, gunning down as other players on the other team fly in with Arwings or LandMasters and try to attack them from inside out?

[Drasiana]

 

They were always the same game? You mean to tell me Namco wasted 3 years on it!?! That is just some lazy development from Namcos side -.-

 

At least with Adventures, the team behind it actually put in effort lol 

 

Keep in mind a lot of that development time pre-Assaultification would have been on the arcade counterpart, and after the arcade version was scrapped they probably had to significantly redesign the game to work as a single player, regular ol' video game. I think they also had less manpower for it than Adventures got, but don't quote me on that.

 

They probably could have done better with it (there is NO EXCUSE for some of that dialogue holy hell) but there were just a bunch of clusterfucky factors surrounding it, I don't want to say Namco on their own was entirely at fault so much just the circumstances of development.

[ArwingFan]

Leftshoe, you antagonized the guy on youtube and SFO you're not completely innocent. That said don't get so depressed over a game. You can still enjoy and appreciate Assault, Rob isn't going to jump out of your computer screen and burn your copy of it.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

 

 

 

Keep in mind a lot of that development time pre-Assaultification would have been on the arcade counterpart, and after the arcade version was scrapped they probably had to significantly redesign the game to work as a single player, regular ol' video game. I think they also had less manpower for it than Adventures got, but don't quote me on that.

 

They probably could have done better with it (there is NO EXCUSE for some of that dialogue holy hell) but it was just a bunch of clusterfucky factors surrounding it, I don't want to say Namco on their own was entirely at fault so much just the circumstances of development.

 

hire voice actors that DON'T use stupid cartoony voices? lol

I don't really think it was that much of a clusterfuck, I thought it came together reasonably well, my only real complaint for most missions is that I want more sophisticated MISSION OBJECTIVES.

[Drasiana]

hire voice actors that DON'T use stupid cartoony voices? lol

I don't really think it was that much of a clusterfuck, I thought it came together reasonably well, my only real complaint for most missions is that I want more sophisticated MISSION OBJECTIVES.

 

It was literally a cartoon, so no. If they'd had the budget for it they should have spent more time with the voice actors they did have since it sounds like they made them cram through their lines in an hour with no room for retakes (there's a few pieces in the game with completely flubbed lines). Most of the more pressing issues that a bit of development time/budget could have fixed have already been addressed.

 

By Rob.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

Leftshoe, you antagonized the guy on youtube and SFO you're not completely innocent. That said don't get so depressed over a game. You can still enjoy and appreciate Assault, Rob isn't going to jump out of your computer screen and burn your copy of it.

LOOK PEOPLE; SEE THIS THREAD DESIGN? AS SOON AS I SAY SOMETHING I HAVE TO REPLY TO SOMEONE ELSE, I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO JUMP BACK AND RE-RE EDIT A COMMENT.

I've ALREADY SAID that I trolled him, but like I said a thousand times before he said a lot of colorful things too. depressed? I am moderately depressed yes, but to be childish and be depressed over a stupid vidya game? yeah I love video games with a passion, but I NEVER took his argument seriously, hell I said before it was a joke to me.

it just annoys me on how people accuse me of stating my opinions as facts. *I don't do it like that, but that doesn't mean I have good reasons to think the way I do about it*, but claiming he is "Doing justice", nothing makes me want to speak up more than an ego. I'm sorry but I just don't like that kind of ego. I'm not going to pretend he doesn't exist if he comes to me on things either, if he gives his input on my posts, ignoring him is just flatout rude, arguably almost as bad as saying. "Oh lol, your silly." ~ I KNOW i'm not the only one who's done that here.

I'm going to make a point to counter him if I disagree, and if I do agree I will share my own thoughts on the matter and how I do agree with him on his remark. Opinions vary, opinions fight, opinions are like onions apparently, if you cut them up too much they'll make people cry.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

It was literally a cartoon, so no. If they'd had the budget for it they should have spent more time with the voice actors they did have since it sounds like they made them cram through their lines in an hour with no room for retakes (there's a few pieces in the game with completely flubbed lines). Most of the more pressing issues that a bit of development time/budget could have fixed have already been addressed.

 

By Rob.

Sargasso is one of my favorite missions in the game but...."Oh ooh oh oh ahh ahh ahh I'm done for!!!" .......................................................................the fuck!?

some of the lines were pretty genuine and badass too, it was a mixed bag. "What are you doing!? that shield will be right back. GO GET OUT OF HERE!!" that part was more intense than....literally any line in most of this game, or any of the other games. "What is it bird season all of the sudden?" That implies that laughs are to be had as well. some of the things the characters say are really random and funny, I want to see more of that because...lol.

[Xidphel]

LOOK PEOPLE; SEE THIS THREAD DESIGN? AS SOON AS I SAY SOMETHING I HAVE TO REPLY TO SOMEONE ELSE, I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO JUMP BACK AND RE-RE EDIT A COMMENT.

 

I'm more concerned about someone's brain design.

[Drasiana]

There was also one line by Slippy where he straight-up stutters the line (not intentionally, mind you), and a few of Krystal's lines were weird and shaky. It sounds like they just recorded a cold read done in an empty hallway. Not the fault of the voice actors, but the directors. Hell, I was unimpressed with both Fox and Krystal's voices in Assault but in Brawl -- with the same voice actors -- they were much more lively and solid.

 

The "bird season" line was one that I'm amazed made it into the game since while it was meant as a goofy joke, it implies that somewhere in Lylat there is literally a season where people hunt and murder bird people

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

I'm more concerned about someone's brain design.

Ugghhh................. this whole thread is just a chaotic fustercluck. Not the worst wisecrack I've seen though, but......

I am REALLY tired, ok?

HORY SHET. I need to finish up my more important shit and try to at least get my minimum of 5-7 hours of sleep before tomorrow morning. See, playing with the lot of you here has little importance, I've got so much to do ALL THE TIME, so of course I'm not going to be willing to RE-RE-RE-Edit a friggin comment here to continue this....whatever the hell you want to call it. Also good timing on your reply, the notification actually woke me up from a daze.

[Robert Monroe]

Alright, alright, break it up kiddos. Daddy Rob's here to spread facts and break rumors.

TAKING IT FROM THE TOP!

 

he has some irrational hate of the game

No, I don't. I have a very valid and reasonable dislike for the game that I've speak an unreasonable amount of time going into detail about why I dislike it. If anything, I dislike how people who enjoy the game are so willing to blindly ignore the game's blatant flaws, which is what spurned me on to write this megarant.

I actually loved the StarWolf fight, between Wolf and Panther's badass charisma and shooting down battleships and team StarWolf themselves AND that orgasmically epic music, it just blows me away. their AI is actually pretty good, but not great. hardly even good but they fly into shit and die all the time in 64 so that's a plus.

And this right here is an example of that. The battleships were hardly a presence there. The AI was worse than SF64. THey don't crash into anything in Assault because they don't GO anywhere. They fly in a circle and if you enter their aggro zone they take pot shots at you. Falco and Krystal are never engaged by them, compare to SF64 where it is a consistant heated dogfight (by the way, you'd know all this if you'd have read my entire review! Just saying). In SF64 they can only crash on Venom II... rarely, or if you're good at kiting.

 

SF2....oh go can you kill me first? Adventures wasn't a good thing to happen, but it was a good game. I know SNES has aged, but it's a classic. 64 definitely doesn't pass for a modern game, but it's still a great game nontheless.

Um, you do know that I only said I was going to review SF2, right? I never said or implied one way or another that I was going to hate on it. Sorry to make you worried about your golden calf there, buddy. Also, you keep saying this line: "Starfox 64 doesn't pass for a modern game". Well no shit? It came out in 1997. Its 18 years old. You know what else doesn't pass for a modern game? Freakin' ASSAULT, which commits much of the same flaws as SF64, but WORSE, and does MORE, and came out EIGHT years later. You tell me with a straight face a game with superior technology and hardware that makes the mistakes as its 8 year old predecessor and MORESO passes as "a modern game". Seriously. Assault was outdated the day it was born.

 

he doesn't give it the rating it deserves.

I actually haven't given it any rating at all yet. Also, I think numerical ratings are a shit. See Xidphel's lovely quote from Yahtzee. If I had to give Assault a numeric score, it'd be somewhere between a 4 and a 6. It functions. That's all it does. Sometimes gets fun, most of the time gets irritating.

 

but guess what? they're REALLY FUN GAMES, is that all that matters in the end?

No, it isn't all that matters. It is important to know and understand WHY and HOW a game is well made, or not well made. Like any art form, any medium, any sort of entertainment or otherwise. Understanding is important. I believe this applies to all things.

 

looking at all the bigotry that's hit the gaming industry, apparently I'm too open minded to be a part of it.

Dumbass I ain't in the industry either. I'm just a 26 year old turbonerd playing a 10 year old game I really dislike because it really dissapointed me on my goddamn birthday and dashed my hopes of Starfox becoming a bigshot like Metroid and Zelda. And because I want to. And because I know people will enjoy reading my pitiful petty nerd rants. I'm just a fan, in the end. Just like you.

 

ut guess what? I'm not going to go into NEAR as much depth on how and why I hate it that much, not like what Rob does.

Good for you. That's your choice. My choice is to analyze every bit about the game to try and understand what went wrong. There's nothing wrong with either.

 

"Lays down the law" seriously that's as conceded as it gets, I honestly don't think I've ever met someone that has that much ego, seriously chill.

Why do you care so much about my ego? Seriously. You don't even know me, bro. You're the one who needs to seriously chill, because you're taking stuff from a total stranger way too harsh and personal.

 

but I still don't see how he can hate a game that much, he went way over the top with this criticism, it's just a game,

Question: why the FUCK do you even care? No, really, why do you care? Are you the Assault Guardian or something? Will your mom DIE from a bizzare machine if too much shit is said about Assault? Its like you said: just a game. The fuck do you care about some fat young adult nerd's opinions about it?

 

he's trying REALLY hard to make it seem like Sonic 06 bad,

Naaaah. Assault is functional, which is a fucka lot more than can be said about Sanic 06.

 

with the hateboner thing I thought it was the other way around, everything I've posted so far he's blasted me to bits with HIS angry antics. He HATES me

Well you did go to my Youtube, call me a faggot several times about MY tastes in video games, followed me here to SFO, and sent me ugly PMs ranging from furthering your insults about me to comparing how shitty my social life is compared to yours. I'd say you've given any reasonable human being to fucking hate your guts, because you're an asshole.

And the kicker? I don't hate you. At all. You're at most a mild annoyance with a big mouth and terribly typing habits who needs to learn how the fuck the quote and edit buttons work.

 

I DO NOT CARE about him, at all.

So, million dollar question: Why are you posting here? In this thread, I mean? If you don't care about me, then bug off and leave me alone. As it seems now, it is as if your entire existence revolves around me. Revolves around me negatively to be sure, but revolves around me. Its kind of fucking creepy, to be honest.

 

*Laughs* yeah-haha, I guess I should take your word for it. your funny.

Xidphel is one of the nicer, well meaning guys around here. Certainly more than I've been here. You should take his word for it when peopl are trying to accomodate you rather than just laugh at them untrustingly. You want people to treat you better? Then start ACTING better. Respect ain't a goddamn hand out: its earned.

 

I don't care about this silly review,

The absurd amount of times you've raved about how unfair it is says otherwise.

 

and I'm sure he wouldn't take my reviews seriously either.

I wouldn't, because you've the typing habbits of an eplieptic chimpanzee with mason jars for hands. And you lack the basic ability to evaluate things objectively in any shape or form.

Now then, I think this piss fight has gone on long enough. This is a thread to discuss Assault and its shortcomings, yes, but I don't want to see it devolve into a giant ass fucking quote war/fight. If you wanna disagree, that's cool. That's your choice. Your freedom. EVERYONE's freedom. Pharaoh Shadon has brought issues up a plenty and he's done so politely and I've addressed them, and there hasn't be any problems. I kindly suggest everyone who wishes to do the same follow his example.

Also, Orbital Gate coming tonight!

[Joseph.]

 

 

 

Keep in mind a lot of that development time pre-Assaultification would have been on the arcade counterpart, and after the arcade version was scrapped they probably had to significantly redesign the game to work as a single player, regular ol' video game

 

They probably could have done better with it (there is NO EXCUSE for some of that dialogue holy hell) but there were just a bunch of clusterfucky factors surrounding it, I don't want to say Namco on their own was entirely at fault so much just the circumstances of development.

 

 

Oh ok so i was half right. The Team didn't merged anything but they didn't completely waste 3 years working on Assault. Namco was working on Armada during 2003 but things happen so they manged to make Assault around a year and a half.....

 

At least the music in Assault is good x)

[Xidphel]

Ugghhh................. this whole thread is just a chaotic fustercluck. Not the worst wisecrack I've seen though, but......

I am REALLY tired, ok?

HORY SHET. I need to finish up my more important shit and try to at least get my minimum of 5-7 hours of sleep before tomorrow morning. See, playing with the lot of you here has little importance, I've got so much to do ALL THE TIME, so of course I'm not going to be willing to RE-RE-RE-Edit a friggin comment here to continue this....whatever the hell you want to call it. Also good timing on your reply, the notification actually woke me up from a daze.

 

1. That video. I need to steal it.

2. Does that mean that you'll leave SFO and free up the time we're cluttering up?

[Pharaoh Shadon]

I never noticed how much Assault leaves up to interpretation and/or assuming. Playing through even as a kid I always got what I think they were trying to imply (Or at least I'm pretty sure I did) so I just went with it. But after different perspectives (mainly from here) I think they shoulda chose a MUCH different way to tell their story. The only few problems I had with this story at first was the random Wolfens in the astroid belt (And I think one more thing I can't remember)

 

Lets think of star wolf showing up at the final level. The way I feel, people will say "Where did they come from? IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!!! DX" 

While I would think "Well the great fox self destructing left that barrier open for a while, so it's safe to assume that Wolf and his team sped in during that moment before the barrier regenerated.

 

So the reason why I didn't mind was because I'm not the kind of person to really care about holes as long as some kind of implication can be answered/there (Which is what bugs me about the wolfens, literally nothing tells you why it's there.) Technically we are at the heroes point of view so if Fox doesn't know, then we don't need to know either. Although it would be REALLY nice to know DX

[Robert Monroe]

Implication is not a bad thing per se - indeed some of the best writing ever has come from what ISN'T outright said. However, there is a line between intended implication, and what Assault does, which is to say fuck-all nothing. Assault doesn't imply, because it doesn't say anything at all, period. There's nothing to muse over or wonder - all speculation is practically making shit up from nothing.

[Robert Monroe]

Updated with the Orbital Gate, a level that's greatest accomplishment is just copying the least liked levels from Starfox 64.

[Dr. Orange]

Holyfuck I love this thread. It's like the dinner of knowledge and review AND a show to top it off. 

 

This is a good thread. 

[Scourge]

I was in a bad mood

 

then I read this thread and had a laugh

 

Now I'm not in a bad mood

[Vy'drach]

This post has inspired me to try and do a text-based Let's Play on here about Bloodborne, to the best of my abilities.

 

I expect to have to use this image a lot in it:

 

[Joseph.]

I got Assault when it came out along with the Game Cube and after having it for years I discovered some hidden secrets. 

 

- Branching Path in Mission 1: Turns out you can branch out of your regular path in space but it does absolutely nothing other then hearing new dialog from krystal and fighting squads of enemy fighters for a higher score. To do this destroy every enemy fighter before facing the Prototype Gundam enemy (Play on Bronze to make it easier) Once your introduce to the Gundam ,destroy it really fast (Kill it before slippy starts talking) Doing so will cause krystal to alert you from enemy fighters below you. You'll slightly branch from your regular path facing squads of enemies.   

 

 

- Aparoids appear in Mission 1 during the space battle: Ether the developers made a mistake or Aparoids were meant to be seen and fought during the space battle but were cut off during the last second. To fight Squads of Aparoids destroy the Orbs the Gundam releases First. Then destroy the Gundam really fast. Theses are the same Aparoids that appear in Mission 5 where they show up after you defeat this wired looking Aparoid space ship that shoots green energy balls. They appear in swarms and they also don't attack the player. 

 

 

- Every character has 2 taunts in multiplayer:  Press Z  As soon as you shoot another player to activate a hidden taunt.

 

 

These small touches the developers put into the game are nice and all but then you realized its a half finished game...

[Robert Monroe]

I knew about the "branch" but not the aparoids in Mission 1. Ill have to try that now to see wtf.

[Ori]

I knew about the "branch" but not the aparoids in Mission 1. Ill have to try that now to see wtf.

 

Actually yes, I can confirm those weird-ass... infected... Arwing-like... things that show up as targets and kinda dance around when you destroy stuff fast in some levels, including Fortuna. Didn't know about branching path though.

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

I got Assault when it came out along with the Game Cube and after having it for years I discovered some hidden secrets. 

 

- Branching Path in Mission 1: Turns out you can branch out of your regular path in space but it does absolutely nothing other then hearing new dialog from krystal and fighting squads of enemy fighters for a higher score. To do this destroy every enemy fighter before facing the Prototype Gundam enemy (Play on Bronze to make it easier) Once your introduce to the Gundam ,destroy it really fast (Kill it before slippy starts talking) Doing so will cause krystal to alert you from enemy fighters below you. You'll slightly branch from your regular path facing squads of enemies.  

 

 

 

 

Once again; the dogfighting in Assault is BY FAR the best, you can actually FLY, LIKE YOUR SHIP FLIES, in SF64 the all-range felt like I was flying a B1 Biplane because I can hardly go up.

 

 

when have I ever been directly mean to you? I feel like I'm at a fucking blanket party, even when I say NOTHING, everyone gangs up and batters me out of pure hatred, yet I tolerate everyone better than most people would, why? because I'm NOT a nice person, but I'm not a total asshole either.

 

 

seriously I sense A LOT of nostalgic influence here, I can smell it with my big nose a mile a way. But, I've already won the argument on youtube, therefore it is meaningless for me to even try with you, you're still trying to force your...opinion, down my throat, but I'm telling you right now, it is NOT working. perhaps some of the things I said were a joke, perhaps I don't type well on here ON PURPOSE, but in highschool I've taken HONORS and CITS composition. I just don't care enough to use any of that here, because it would be a waste of my valuable and heavily limited time.

Oh hell, Metroid a big shot? StarFox has more love than fucking Metroid, Metroid Prime is literally the only Metroid game that EVER sold better than the StarFox games, and even so Prime was....good at best. StarFox games have marginally better sales even though there were far more Metroid games, anyone who says Metroid can compete with a game like Zelda or Halo is lying through their teeth. I guess I took my "trolling" too far, but I came back, not followed you here.

as I said before, I left the group because I didn't have time to use it, and I didn't like the community, even though I hardly said anything. You called me faggot a lot too, you also called me Retard, and furfag. did I make fun of you AT ALL for being a Brony? no, because I'm not going to go that far for a pety insult, and because 4 of my best friends are Bronies and a pega-sister. hell I might even be garnered into it, but not likely, just not my thing.

also, maybe I just like picking people apart, maybe I like pointing out some of the things you've tried to hide, but I've already done that. but you've been here longer, your fortunate to hold the small-town advantage, I've heard A LOT of bad things about this community, and almost all of them have proven true. but I persist, because maybe someday, years from now people will learn to view me a different way, but given the study of human nature, I'd say the chances are slim.

If you have a problem with me, just be honest. it has no effect on me.

 

[AlGore'sleftshoe]

ONE MOAH TING

I'm sorry a fucking GameCube game scarred you for life. but if that is true than you take video games WAY too seriously, do I get pissed about video game discussions? you think!? well once again I'm an angry person, naturally. but I would hardly say I take video games all that seriously, I care more about Theoretical physics for god sake.


I'd be willing to make friends even with you, I've made friends with worse. I wouldn't mind if you stopped insulting me, than it could work. There are a number of things I'd gladly contribute here, related to StarFox and not, but the community is so against me that I don't see the point in even wanting to bother with it.

I NEVER Implied Assault was in anyway perfect, none of the StarFox games are. They're all great games, that is a fact, not an opinion; same goes with how imperfect they all are. *Aside from Command ofcourse*

I understand that it is important to discuss the imperfections of all the games. If Nintendo would even bother, they could learn from those imperfections and make a truly perfect game. But it isn't helping when you flatout call a good game, bad. You can have your opinion, like you said. but don't wave it around in my face, or shove it down my throat.

Now then; you can choose to overreact and hate me some more, or you can awknowledge my point and we can continue a decent discussion, perhaps the things being said about SFO aren't as true as they seem.

 

 

[Xidphel]

 

when have I ever been directly mean to you? I feel like I'm at a fucking blanket party, even when I say NOTHING, everyone gangs up and batters me out of pure hatred, yet I tolerate everyone better than most people would, why? because I'm NOT a nice person, but I'm not a total asshole either.

 

 

I said that because apparently we're being mean to you and this is eating up the rest of your time apparently. Furthermore, we apparently all hate you. You leaving will be mutually-beneficial.

 

You called me faggot a lot too, you also called me Retard, and furfag. did I make fun of you AT ALL for being a Brony?

 

I may have used the word retard but the other two, I've never used.

 

but I persist, because maybe someday, years from now people will learn to view me a different way, but given the study of human nature, I'd say the chances are slim.

 

Again, a VERY good reason to stop.