EvolutionSFox Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Okay, I've made a fanfic and I think it's about time I had. It gets slow at first, but I promise, more action will come in Ch.3 Well... here you guys go. Ch.1 One eye blinked open then the other opened. A sleeping beauty, a sleeping Blue Furred Vixen had just awaken from her sleep. It was exactly eight oclock. She had sleep on her back, with her tail poking through legs. She slowly picked up her head and she sat Indian style on her bed. She accidentally sleep in her jumpsuit, because of her patrolling incident the day before, it was Saturday today though. During the patrolling she had accidentally had gotten into a asteroid field by Sauria then she had been knocked out when one of the asteroids had collided with her arwing and plunged it into Saurias surface. Fox had picked her up and though he had to abandoned her customized arwing, he had to put her in his arwing. His arwing was modified, it had a co-pilot seat and controls just for an emergency like this. She yawned and stretched out then cupped her muzzle with his hands. She yawned again, the took her hands from her muzzle. She jumped out of bed and got changed, her clothing was her favorite Blue T-shirt with a Starfox insignia on the top right of her shoulder area, she also wore a Blue skirt that went to the knees. Usual undergarments under both. She finished prepping up for the morning, putting her Fur and hair in the right fashion and combing them. The next thing on her mind was to wake up Fox, which was one of her favorite parts of the day. She thought waking up Fox was part of her job, since he usually sleep late. She opened her door in one of the many rooms in the Greatfox ll, rebuilt by General Peppers orders. It was a toke of appreciation which was built by the best of the best technicians and engineers with the finest armor, it was a identical twin to the first Greatfox but the metal plating were black instead of silver and white. She speed-walked to his room, passing numerous doorways leading to other corridors, she finally got to his room which was not far from hers. Usually she would knock on the door, but this time she was impatient. She opened the door cautiously and quietly to find Fox dead asleep. He looked so cute with his mouth wide-open and ears both perked up. He was sleeping on his side, on a queen-sized bed that was the regularly maroon color. She had never woken him up before, but she knew one of poke of the finger would get Fox up in no time, by her of course. She crept up to the bed and thinking of all the fun things they could do today, since it was Saturday, no Starfox duty was intended but the sometimes had special exceptions. Today was no exception though. She slowly inched toward fox, then she pounced on the bed and poked him. Fox jumped and fell of the bed. Fox: ACK! *thud* Krystal: *was scared by Foxs reaction and also and fell of the bed* Ouf! Fox quickly got up and checked who had intruded in his room, then he spotted a Blue furry tail on the other side and he knew. Fox: Krystal! Krystal: *she got up and noticed Fox say her name* Fox! Krystal then noticed Fox was still in his night clothing, of course. Fox knew what she was looking at, she always wanted him to be ready and dressed. Fox: Id better get dressed, hadnt I? Krystal: Yes, you should. *she giggled at him while he blushed* Fox: *Ahem* Krystal: Oh! Im sorry Ill wait outside Fox! *she tried to hide her blushing* Krystal then left the room and went outside to the hallway. She closed the door, and soon she heard noises. She could hear him scrambling about in there, then she heard nothing. She heard some more scrambling, she knew what he was looking for. She put her face closer to the door. Krystal: Your shirt is in the top drawer! ~~~ To be continued... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coolcat blood sucking cat Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Very cute and funny. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RPGmaster2000 Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 "Krystal Chronicles" LOL! Nice title! Anyway, fun story. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvolutionSFox Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 Ch.2 After she yelled at Fox for his shirt, she waited again. The door open, and a perfectly dress Fox McCloud came out. He has his no sleeve shirt on, which was gray and his usual Red sash around her neck. He also had a pair of Leather Black pants, which surprised Krystal. She smiled, then look toward a hallway. Krystal: Lets go get some breakfast, I heard Peppy and Slippy are cooking today! Fox gazed at Krystal then the hall where Krystal previously stared at. He smiled, with a huge grin. Fox: Ah, you have no idea how good they cook! I absolutely love their foods, especially breakfast! This morning I have a good feeling its Hotcakes! Fox then grabbed Krystal by the arm and he bolted to the messhall with Krystal dragging on one leg. When they got there, Fox noticed Krystal on the ground. He picked her up and brushed her off, and then he went off to set at the table by Falco. Krystal followed Fox, obviously. Falco noticed the two walk in, and he greeted them. Falco: Yo, whats up guys? Fox: Nothing, Krystal got me up thankfully for this breakfast though! Falco looked at Fox, with a smile. Falco: Ever heard of an alarm clock? Geez, Krystals gonna have to start charging you, for what you have. Fox and Falco laughed , Krystal giggled at Foxs embarrassment. She got up, the headed to the kitchen. Fox: Hey, where you going Krystal? Krystal turned around and look at Fox, and grinned. Krystal: I want to go see how theyre doing. Fox and Falco stared at each other. Fox: Okay, well wait here. In the mean time Arm-wrestling time Falco. Falco laughed. Falco: Are you kiddin me? Fox: Nope, Im not kidding. Falco: The dare is still on, if I win- Fox: Okay, I know and Ill do it willingly. When Krystal got to kitchen he could smell something delicious, she was actually craving this. When she got a table, she found Peppy and Slippy flattening the rest of the hot cakes. Slippy was acting as if one of the hotcakes was a pizza dough, spinning it and tossing it in the air. Slippy: Oh, hey Krystal! Tell the guys guys its almost ready! Krystal chuckled a bit, because of Slippys childish humor. Krystal: Alright, Ill- Slippy: Its done! Peppy finally entered the conversation, though he had been looking a little pale lately. Peppy: Yeah, it is done. Slippy, help me carry them to the guys. Krystal looked as if she wanted to help, which she did. She twiddled the the tip of her tail then asked. Krystal: Do you want me to help? Slippy: No. Peppy: No, its okay. Krystal persisted to help, of course, being her nature. Krystal: Could I have Foxs plate then so I can give him his? Slippy: Well Sure, if you want to that bad. Go ahead and take yours too. Krystal smiled, then took her and Foxs plate. She had 2 hotcakes while Fox had 4, since he liked them a lot. She didnt care about eating much, she tried not to go overboard though. Krystal: Thank you guys. Once she got the messhall, Slippy had his and Falcos while Peppy just drank coffee. Slippy sat by Falco on the right, and gave Falco his. Falco started eating fast of course. Krystal walked in, hoping to enlighten the situation as if it already wasnt. She walked toward the table everyone was sitting at, Peppy was sitting besides Slippy to the right while Fox was on Falcos left. She giggled as she walked in, because Fox was sitting there waiting hungry. She sat by Fox on the left and gave him his plate. A little bit after they had served, they were all done. Krystal only ate one, she seemed to get full easily so Fox took hers. He asked of course, though Krystal would have offered him them sooner or later. Falco got up. Falco: Im going to the hangar bay guys, later. Fox: See you later man. Krystal: See you Falco. Krystal then remembered it was Saturday, and she wanted to do something with Fox. Alone of course. She asked him if they wanted to go somewhere, and of course Fox was on the situation in no time. Fox: Where do you have in mind Krystal, the fair? A restaurant? The mall? Krystal just wanted a quiet time though, she didnt want to be demanding but of course she had to ask. She felt embarrassed but it didnt matter. Krystal: Would you mind taking me to the park, somewhere quiet? Fox gladly accepted, because he preferred a quiet place too. Fox: Sure, lets go to the hangar bay! Since they were aboard the Great Fox, they were going to leave by arwing which they started heading too. When walking Krystal glanced at Fox every once and a while thinking of how lucky she was to find him - for him to find HER. He saved her life, which she was ever-lasting grateful too but in return, she had no real way to pay him back. She could have practically stayed in the Statis cell then would have died in it for a matter of days, or worse, she would have been stuck in there for eternity as the planet continued to break apart. Fox: Krystal, hello, you there? Krystal found herself in a deep trance while looking at Fox, she woke up and found them both at the co-pilot arwing. She stood there, until Fox grabbed her face with both hands and quickly asked. Fox: Krystal, are you alright? If somethings bothering you, tell me! Krystal paused then grabbed Foxs hands and took them off. Krystal: Yeah, Im alright. Thanks though Fox. Fox peered at Krystal then told her to get in the back seat. They both jumped in, after Krystal had another preperation break. Fox took of the tractor beam, then he took off. When they got far enough from the Great Fox ll, they looked like just another star from a distance. The Greatfox ll was about 300 miles or so away from Corneria being in orbit and closer to Cornerias single moon, Criterasa. Krystal was dazzled by the beautiful darkness of space, she had never really been out in a arwing just for the sights, due to the fact she only rode one when she had too. That was mainly assisting Fox in missions and the rest of the team. ~~~ To be continued... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coolcat blood sucking cat Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Nice little cute chapter....Really is..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludvig11 Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Its Great! It make me feel good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvolutionSFox Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 And for now, the action begins. Something bad happens, you'll have to read the rest. And don't worry, everything will be fine. Ch.3 Once they got into the atmosphere, Fox slowed down to a halt. A moment of silence occurred, unwanted of course. Both of them were trying to break it but they were trying to think of how to say what their feelings meant. Fox, of course had the typical male phobia, I wish I could speak to a girl alone without choking up alone like this. Fox decided to take the general route. Fox: Heh, a good view out there, isnt it? Krystal hurried to answer the question, with passion. Krystal: Yes, yes it is Fox Just then, when the moment started to happen, something happened that came out of no where. Somehow Venomians had a thing to come unwanted and uninvited. This became one of those times, and this time Fox and Krystal were at the wrong place and time. There was a battle going on, right out in Cornerias atmosphere. Two venomian Stealh squards had come without Fox or Krystal knowing, then nailing them with missiles until the arwing spun out of control. It spun towards Corneria of course. Fox: AHHHHHHHHH! The arwing was spinning nonstop while hurdling through the atmosphere but then everything stopped. They began drifting backwards. Krystals head stopped spinning, then, she noticed everything stopped finally. Her telepathic abilities were somewhat faded, so she couldnt tell who did this. Krystal peered back to find a tractor beam had attached to their arwing. Their hearts filled with joy because they thought the Greatfox ll had come to save them. They saw something that filled both of their hearts with fear as they saw a Venomian cruiser, about half of the Greatfox lls size and shape. It had come and swept up their arwing. Krystal was scared to death, because she knew they werent going to kill them, of course they were going to be hostages. Fox looked back at Krystal, hastefully. Fox: Krystal, dont worry, everything will be alright. Just hold on and Ill contact the Greatfox- Fox had noticed the missiles had diffused the whole arwing, cutting power from it and leaving it lifeless. Krystal had picked that up a long time ago, though Fox knew she didnt want to bring more bad news. The arwing slowly approached a Venomian carrier, Fox then stopped for a second and peered outside. There were cruisers about the size of the Greatfox outside fighting the Venomians. They were not of Cornerians, Fox pondered where they were at the moment. The arwing entered the damaged cruiser, there seemed to be fighting aboard. Six venomians swarmed the arwing, 3 ape soldiers and 2 huge brute lizards about 2 times Foxs size. Fox tried to put the locking mechanism on but he forgot the arwing was diffused of its energy. The two huge scalely lizards bashed over the hatch and they both grabbed each one of Foxs arms and swung him out. Krystal was next, though they deemed not to be merciful on the vixens body. They threw her out with the same energy as Fox, though she went farther because of her being about 2 and half their size and weight. She finally landed, hard on a metal plating. She let out a shriek of pain. Fox got up of course and ran to her. Fox: Dont you touch her ever again! Both brutes walked towards him, and when they got to close, Fox slugged one of them right in the kisser. He felt as if he just punched a metal, he saw the Brute just chuckle. He grabbed his hand then took his other hand and tried again. This time the Brute caught his hand then the other Brute grabbed his other hand. Fox wasnt in a good position, he thought they were going to tear him apart. The three ape soldiers surrounded Krystal, they were laughing and chuckling at her. One of them walked up too her and she just backed down in fear. She crawled on her stomach then the ape soldier grabbed her head and picked her up. Ape soldier A: Dont worry babe, well make sure you live longer than that fool over there Heh, youll like what he gets. The other two soldiers followed, though with night sticks. Ape soldier B: Though for now were going to beat the crap out of you The two soldiers both grabbed Krystals arms and held her in a position where the third one had a free punching bag. The soldier took the nightstick and slammed it against her muzzle, she let out another shriek. She finally looked up after a minute or two then she found herself dazed. One of the soldiers finally pointed out after she woke from he dazeness. Ape soldier B: Look, I made her bleed! That was a good shot, agree? Krystal began crying, hoping that Fox had some plan to get them out of this predicament. Fox was in a crisis himself, though he had a chance to notice his surroundings though. From the outside of the carrier, he found the entire carrier all red from the outside while the inside was green. The was hatch was small, but the hangar bay itself was HUGE. There were venomian fighters about everywhere you looked, he pondered if to go in there and get lost because it would have taken them a while to find him. At the moment though he couldnt, and even if he was released, he had Krystal to think of who was currently getting beat by the three soldiers. ~~~ To be continued... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactic Jaguar Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Holy -another word for feces- u write too....Really Nice job ESF!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coolcat blood sucking cat Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 IF theres one thing thats as good as romance in a story it's volience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludvig11 Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Holy -another word for feces- u write too....Really Nice job ESF!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvolutionSFox Posted September 25, 2005 Author Share Posted September 25, 2005 Ch.4 Krystal let out another cry as Fox was waiting for the brutes to tear him apart. Krystal: Fox! Fox helplessly looked as the three soldiers had their way with her, beating her and laughing. Then they stopped and threw her to the ground. Parts of her jumpsuit were torn because of the beating, bruises could be seen as well as uneven knots. Her face was completely unrecognizable, due to the bleeding that made her fur blood red and her Fur and hair that were out of place. Her right ear was partly lacerated, while she had a blank eye on her left. Krystal opened her mouth and just stared at the ceiling, she was going into shock. Then a brute with red a red cape appeared, he had a skull in his hand that was unfamiliar. It was bloody, it looks as if he just ripped it out of its owner. He smashed it on the ground, then walked over to Fox who was currently still waiting impatiently. He finally got to Fox and he placed his hand, almost the size of Foxs head then put his index finger then put it under Foxs chin. He pushed it up. General: So what do we have here? Fox McCloud and his fellow girlfriend? Fox gazed up and decided to spit in his face, of course, which he did. Fox: Bring it, Im not scared of you. The general chuckled, then wiped it off. He laughed hysterically. The general made a flick of the finger and the three ape soldiers picked up Krystal and carried her over to Foxs position. General: You wish to disrespect me, I shall contribute my bit. The two brutes got behind Fox to give the general a free beating on any part of the body. The general took a long massive scale whip from his belt, then he laughed again. He asked sarcastically. General: Any last words? Krystal: Dont! Dont do it, please! The general laughed, then swung the whip. Fox held on for dear life, and he flinched. When he heard the crack of the whip, he didnt feel any pain. He thought it cut so deep that it killed the nerves, until he look at Krystal. She had been whipped right across the abdomen, though she didnt scream or yip. Fox knew why, she had been shock. She couldnt even talk, Fox was heartbroken. The ape soldiers were laughing as they made sexual comments toward Krystal, and jerking her head back by her ears. The apes released her again, she feel to the ground. She didnt move, Fox feared for the worst. Fox was enraged no doubt, but his concern for Krystal was too great, then brutes threw him forward as he lied on Krystal. He picked her up and layed her head on his knee. Fox grieved because her eyes were closed, he shook her but she didnt open them. Fox: Krystal Krystal He shook her one last time and finally her eyes slightly opened. She managed to spit out these words that broke his heart, once again. Krystal: Get out of here Fox go ~~~ To be continued Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coolcat blood sucking cat Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Ahh gore.... *drools* romantic gore...the best...hey i should include that in my fanfic...MEHHHHHH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coolcat blood sucking cat Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 ....I hate n00bs....But your like beyond n00b....Your like NST n00b Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inuyasha Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 I assumed you wouldn't ever dare to write such things about Krystal! That bit startled me a bit.... All I have to say is that it's awesome. Good storyline, contrast, and character development...ish.... Though the grammar could use some work...no offense.... But other than that and a few minor things, I really see nothing technically wrong with this. From a reader standpoint, this is one of those things that, if it were to be published, I would probably read. Keep it up! And coming! -Inuyasha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XG Fox Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Wow, pretty good there! I should post one of my six or so fanfics... maybe that will motivate me to finish even ONE of them. They're kind of ideas that were good at the time, but each of 'em fizzled out, yanno? I assumed you wouldn't ever dare to write such things about Krystal! That bit startled me a bit.... ^ You have NO IDEA what kind of fanfics are out there. Believe me. http://www.freewebs.com/starfox_dod/index.htm Be careful with this one. If you thought ESF's Krystal-gets-beat-up part was bad, then you're NOWHERE NEAR READY to read this one. This one nearly KILLED me with the detail. And it makes ESF's story look like a children's book from a violence standpoint. Seriously. And it's also longer than all hell. Like, 40 chapters in Part 1, and there's 3 parts. But overall, it's an insanely good story! DarthVenom's an amazing writer. It's one of the best stories I've ever read. Ever. The creator, DarthVenom is also a member at Arwing Landing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvolutionSFox Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 THANKS. And yes, Krystal dies in that one XG posted... right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XG Fox Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Yep. But she comes back. :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactic Jaguar Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Yep. But she comes back. YAY!!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvolutionSFox Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 And yes, I couldn't believe I thought up those things that happened to Krystal. *shakes head* I would so kill whoever touched her. Also, I have the rest of my story written out on notebook paper, that's why there's alot of grammer mistakes. I just type it out on word and paste them here, but I haven't had time to... though... I might continue on ch.5 something this week or weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krystal Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Sweet story, I enjoyed it alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coolcat blood sucking cat Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Meh not to be a n00b and all.....But meh......Enjoy my fanfic while she works on hers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvolutionSFox Posted September 30, 2005 Author Share Posted September 30, 2005 Meh not to be a n00b and all.....But meh......Enjoy my fanfic while she works on hers. I hope to god you're refering to someone else when you say "her". And finally, updated, chapter 5! Ch.5 He put Krystal over his shoulders, gently. While the three apes, two brutes and General laughed tauntly at Fox to do something about it. Fox wanted to beat them to a pulp, torture them until no end for what they had done to Krystal. Fox ran of course, into a battered hallway. The place was messed up, bullet holes everywhere. The war currently going on, that Krystal and Fox had somehow flew into was still going on and probably still in the climax. He found a shadowed area finally, and hurried to it. He laid Krystal on the ground and tilt her head up on his knee. Fox had to shake her a couple of times to finally get her conscious. She opened her eyes, slowly, then she grabbed her abdomen and let a yip of pain. Fox wait helplessly, choking up every second or two. She let out another phrase one that was familiar Krystal: Fox get out of here Fox couldnt believe what he was hearing, and for the second time at that. Fox: No, I cant! Youre going to be okay, dont worry! I wont let you die Krystal. Krystal now couldnt believe what she was hearing, risking his life to save her which she knew there was no way she wasnt getting out alive. He thigh was bleeding eternally and he face was lacerated by the whip. Fox was just surprised she had overcome the pain, he really looked up to her. Fox watched again as her eyes occasionally closed, then she shook her. Fox had no idea how to get out, he would do anything to just get Krystal okay. Fox looked at Krystals body, so beautiful and graceful before, now it had blood, bruises, and knots on several locations. Fox saw a huge window, you could see about the whole battle. There were venomian ships, and then huge Metalloid ships, with huge cannons near the ends. The Venomians were losing of course, they didnt win much battles since Andross was eliminated. He peered out the window, staring deeply at the new ships wiping out the Venomians. He jumped, then looked back at Krystals location. She was gone. He paniced, he anxiety was at a all time high. He began screaming for her, he heard nothing respond. Fox: Krystal! Krystal! Oh god, oh god. A figure appeared in front of him, a creature he had never seen before. The creature was covered in metal plating, though the creature had no tail and the ears were attached to the sides of the head instead of on top. The creature was holding a blaster type of weapon, though none he had ever seen before. It also had no fur, or hair for that matter except on his head and its skin was a peachish color. The creature pointed its weapon. ???: I found another Adams! Fox didnt have a weapon, and due to his beating that was just now taking toll, he was helpless. Another of the creature appeared, in the same type of attire except a different face and hair type and color. He was bigger though, about Wolfs size. Adams: God, what the hell are these things!? This one looks like a fox! And so does the other blue one! Fox heard blue and he knew who they were talking about, he jumped. Fox: Wheres Krystal! What have you done with her!? Adams: Mandoza, put your gun down. This one looks vulnerable to attack, look how bad hes beaten up. Mandoza turned around to find the three ape soldiers advancing with swords, laser swords. Mandoza picked up his gun and started shooting. He killed one, though the other two were still coming. He had to reloaded it looked like. Fox jumped at one of the advancing ape soldiers and tackled him, he continuously threw punchs at him. The ape soldier was being pummeled, the other tried to help but was shot by Adams, who had the same weapon as this Mandoza character. ~~~ To be continued... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coolcat blood sucking cat Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 I ment his nice chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XG Fox Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 ... and chaos ensues. Can't wait! What happened to Krystal though? Did she just disappear or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inuyasha Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Nice.... I like where this is going...a lot.... Just keeps getting deeper and deeper.... -Inuyasha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts