Funny scenes

[Star_Dragon]

The object of this game is to make each other laugh as much as possible by creating funny scenes with text. Use mine as an example;

ON MUSTAFAR

(Vader arrives on Mustafar, hops out of his ship.)

ANAKIN: Well, here we are--Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat.

VADER: *What?*

A: Sorry, it just seemed appropriate somehow.

(Vader tells Artoo to stay with the ship, and heads for the entrance of the facility.)

A: First big administrative job for Palpatine, huh? Nervous?

V: Not at all.

A: Okay, Palps didn't have time to give you more than a crash course in middle-management, so let's make sure you remember everything...

V: I am *not* middle-management.

A: Sure you are. The guys here are managers of a sort...and Palpatine's the big man...and you're right there in the middle. Now, let's review--why are you here?

V: To explain to them that their services will no longer be required.

A: Right. But they're not being fired. They're...?

(pause)

A: Come on...

V: *sigh* They're being given the opportunity to re-strategize their employment particulars somewhere else.

A: Perfect. You've got the lingo down; before you know it, you'll be complaining about Casual Fridays and trying to bust people for daring to take sick days.

V: I am *not* middle management!

A: Sure, sure...

(Preceded by scurrying mouse droids, Vader enters the commmand center, where the Separatist leaders await him. A Neimoidian speaks up.)

NEIMOIDIAN: Welcome, Lord Vader. We've been expecting you.

(Vader gestures, and the doors slide closed.)

A: Good, good. Set the tone, show them who's in charge....Now just pass out that exit paperwork and--wait, where's the exit paperwork?

V: I think I forgot it on the ship.

A: Well go get it! How are you supposed to sack these guys without--

V: If I leave now, they'll see it as a sign of weakness.

A: So what now?

V: Now...I improvise.

(Vader starts mowing down the Separatists with his lightsaber, one after another.)

A: Hey, wait! Don't--! That guy just--! They only--!

(Vader pauses in the slaughter, surveying the scene with Sithly yellow eyes.)

A: Oh, man...you really put the "sever" in severance package, don't you?

(Finally, only one Neimoidian is left. Vader slays him.)

A: You know, I take it back. You're *way* too efficient for middle management.

V: Damn straight...

NOTE: No, your scenes don't have to be from Star wars like the above scene. It can be one you made up yourself, or from another universe. (Star Trek, Star wars, the list goes on and on.)

ANOTHER NOTE: The above scene was vader talking to himself, I copy and pasted it from a document I had called "The Vader Monologues."

Now it's your turn.