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Say something random part 2


Conall Drest

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In a scale from 0 to Ellen DeGeneres, how much of a troll are you?

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I dunno what to put here, so here's a Smiley face, mister instructor!

:D

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Im the not too distant future around a giant pig-pen with hundreds of way-beyond-their-time pieces of technology...

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For some reason, It feels like I have a stalker...

*checks behind him and stares into the face of some guy.*

Nope, must have been my imagination.

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My old Fiat 500 suddenly stopped in the middle of a large field of potatoes.

No, the car worked just fine. It was a moment of lucidity from me. I took advantage of that to check my equipment.

Wait... shit. Something is missing.

I hastily picked up my phone and called my cat for support.

I needed my enchanted crab grenades to defeat King Gervaso, evil ruler of the land of the talking frying pans. I didn't have the material time to completely overhaul my strategy. I couldn't do that without removing my favorite weapons from it.

The whole situation looked quite bad already, but sweet dancing Jesus, it was just about to get worse. Much worse.

My cat, who I will just call Minoru from this point on, just found out that King Gervaso had a fearsome army of Nicki Minaj clones. Apparently, his army was moving fast towards me, but in reality, they were all directed towards my town.

King Gervaso was planning a siege all along.

Fortunately, Minoru was already on his way with all the necessary, and in the meantime, I was able to build a giant Potato Launcher with a bunch of sticks, a spoon, two Duracell Batteries, and a white unicorn horn.

I mounted the weapon over my car's roof, loaded it with all the hardest potatoes I found, and waited.

...

(Yes, I wrote this while sober. It's horrible, I know.)

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I'm the Oracle damnit. Now start dancing.

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The dog may be stupid and almost died hit by a car, but it's MY stupid dog, dammit.

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Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be a flower in space.

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OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!

... that song is played way to much PICK A BETTER SONG!

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NO! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THERE IS A BLOODY HELL OF PERVERTS INTERESTED IN SF, THEN DON'T YOU DARE BLAMING ME!

YES, THE FAULT IS YOURS, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GOT INTERESTED FIRST!

I HAVE A GREAT IDEA, LET'S ALL GRAB MINIGUNS AND SHOOT ALL THE PERVS!

GREAT!

GREAT!

Yes, that's me talking to myself. I know, that's terrible. I might take up that kind of hunting as a hobby. (With shock guns.)

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Pffft doctor? who needs em i can amputate mah own arm

I know you will grow it again anyway, duh. :-P

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Oh me gersh! :DIT'S DERPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(.) (*) (Derp face :D)

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WITH A TOASTER ON THE MOON DURING A HARVEST MOON ON THE FOURTH OF JULY WITH A MELTED GLOWSTIC!

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I don't know what I know but I know I don't know what I know and you know no nothing about knowing nothing!

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