Prince Elite Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it's a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o'clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Did you know if you say sausage backwards, it sounds like you're saying Jesus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gestalt Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Haven't been banned from something in 36hours. Must correct these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Apple Juice!!! Half Price!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ori Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 In case you're wondering, no, that wasn't me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 DAT CAKE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy63- Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 This is... the video game version of like cutting yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WOLFjr Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 THERE'S A SHEEP ON THE TRACKS!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I'm Buzz Lightyear No I'M Buzz Lightyear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 When I look at you, I think of all the evil in the world. Then I give a Cheshire Cat grin while removing the fire ax from the wall beside me and I stare into your eyes and say in an overly cheerful manner, "Good night, sweet prince." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch93 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 What do you say we make apple juice and fax it to each other? Captain, the French are about to kick my ass! Apple Juice!!! Half Price!!! You and me in Japan, watch me dance. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ori Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 No, I won't kill myself with a rusted-nail gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 *Planar Lord materializes plays Minecraft* "What tomfoolery is this? What has destroyed my palace of humble security?!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 you punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it's a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o'clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I once knew a kid in school, I forgot his name. He always went around calling everyone a faggot or saying they were gay. We told him to stop and eventually he did. Unfortunately he kept finding new words to say like fudge packer, nazi and nigger. Again we told him to stop. Then he started making animal noises all the time. When I asked him why he replied, "Because you told me to stop saying so many different words, I started saying them like animals do. That way you couldn't understand and be offended." I thought about it for a moment and realized he made a logical point. Then I dismissed the logic and punched him in the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 SPEAR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 "The time has come," the Walrus said, "to speak of many things. Of shoes, ships and ceiling wax, cabbages and kings. Whether the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Don't touch the button Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I have come to chew bubble gum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubble gum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Stelar Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SONIC HAS ESCAPED AGAIN?!!!???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 MORE POWER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Stelar Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I'm the 26th Top poster! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ori Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 He misses the old days. Oh wait. He doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Stelar Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 SPEED IT UP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 RUN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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