Deploy Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 HEY, SENOR! YOUR SOMBRERO. SHE IS READY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK4 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 101001101010001001110111000111 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeth Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 What is someone could pick their nose so hard that they broke the space time continuum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusheo Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Is it me or does the main GOP members look like scooby doo villans 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deploy Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeth Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK4 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an Emperor, that's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that. We all want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in; machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity, more than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say: do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass and dictators will die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die liberty will never perish. Soldiers: don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder! Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men!! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate, only the unloved hate. The unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers: don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written: - "The kingdom of God is within man." Not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men: in you! You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power, let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers! In the name of democracy: let us all unite! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Himmler: "Mein Fuher, the new XBox One is out. Shall I get one for you?" Hitler: "Of course, f*cking get one already!!!" ~5 hours later~ Hitler: "Da lama f*ck is this hamster sh*t?!!! I wanted a game system not goddamn Facebook!!!!! Himmler: "Mein Fuher, with this device Kinect comes standard." Hitler: "What the hell do you take me for?!! Goering needs exercise, NOT ME!!!! And I remember that sorry excuse of a Star Wars game!! 'Be a jedi' it said, but it sucked worse than the invasion on Dover!!!!" Himmler: "But Mein Fuher, there was no invasion of Dover." Hitler: "Don't you think I know that, for f*cks sake?!!! Now get me a PS4!!!!!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WOLFjr Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 HEY CHICKA BUM BUM!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 ME: Whatcha doin'? HER: Abusing my pussy. ME: WHAT!?!? HER: Yeah, I'm pulling on the cat's tail while he's trying to get away, what did you think I meant? ME: I dunno. I pictured you naked from the waist down, with your legs up in the air, trying to pleasure yourself with the business end of an aluminum bat. HER: Idiot. ME: Ya think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 ME: Whatcha doin'? HER: Abusing my pussy. ME: WHAT!?!? HER: Yeah, I'm pulling on the cat's tail while he's trying to get away, what did you think I meant? ME: I dunno. I pictured you naked from the waist down, with your legs up in the air, trying to pleasure yourself with the business end of an aluminum bat. HER: Idiot. ME: Ya think? Sick thing is, I envisioned the whole thing in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Sick thing is, I envisioned the whole thing in my head. Heheh awesome xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK4 Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 I before e except after c and sounding like a in a neighboring way and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star_Dragon Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 I can shmell my own blood! FEAR ME!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebel_gunman Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Where the hell have I been?!?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star_Dragon Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Somewhere other than here, apparently. lol, just messin with ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebel_gunman Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Only... in the Twilignt Zone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Gandalph: there are things I must attend to." Frodoor: What things? Gandalph: Things. Things that need things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ori Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 And once more, big proves itself to be stupid while little clever ones listen to what people want. You really oughta use your brain while pleasing people... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebel_gunman Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Big Brother is watching you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Little Girl: "Mr. Kratos, tell me a story." Kratos: "Once upon a time, I ripped a guys head off. The end." Little Girl: "W-was it anyone I knew?" Kratos: "Not anyone you'll miss." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebel_gunman Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 [Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch] -How does it... um... how does it work? -I know not, my liege. -Consult the Book of Armaments. -Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one. -[reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu... -Skip a bit, Brother... -And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. -Amen. -Amen. -Right. One... two... five. -Three, sir. -Three. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 "Today, I made an appearance downtown I am an expert witness because I say I am And I said, 'Gentlemen, and I use that word loosely I will testify for you, I'm a gun for hire, I'm a saint, I'm a liar'" "'Because there are no facts, there is no truth Just data to be manipulated I can get you any result you like What's it worth to you?'" "'Because there is no wrong, there is no right And I sleep very well at night No shame, no solution, no remorse, no retribution Just people selling T-shirts'" Just opportunity to participate in the pathetic little circus And winning, winning, winning'" - Satan, The Eagles : The Garden of Allah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ori Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Eww. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now