LoneWolf Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I just unloaded some personal baggage onto my mate, and she took it well. Better than expected actually, we have common experiences in most things, and in this case as well, it turns out. That's a weight off my shoulders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarFoxfan-FUR_ever Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 If religion is that important to you, or even if it isn't, my personal judgment is looking on what she is. She might be Atheist, but does she end up standing for the same morals that you do? Do the lessons your religion teach correspond to what she believes in? I think if you can see that in her, that she'll make you mentally at peace. I know very well that we have similar mindsets and whatnot. Honestly, in my opinion, she has matured and has taken this whole relationship thing much more seriously. She's made up her mind that I am her special someone. She keeps telling me this. And she dosent talk to any other guys. Maybe she's telling me the truth. The issue here is that my parents feel very strongly about this sort of thing. And honestly, for all these years i've known her, they have not given themselves a chance to get to know her. Simply, my father thinks she is pure evil and that she may be "corrupting" me...(but thats another generalization without proper backing because I love my religion. Then of course, he misunderstands my attempts at being self-sufficient and standing up for myself to being assertive and rebellious [as a result of talking to this girl ]...but thats a seperate issue altogether...) And my mother says that its fine if we are just friends, and that she at least wants me to respect her and not shut her out of my world. There's just one problem: she's not a Christian. I don't know if she's an Atheist. Probably more of an Agnostic. She seems open and interested to hear about my studies of the Bible. It's a matter of long-term quality of life. If a Christian marries a non-Christan, chances are pretty high it will seriously hurt the Christian's faith. For a matter like Christianity, something I would die for and consider marriage a close second in importance, it's entirely reasonable to forego a relationship with a woman if she's not in the same life-altering boat. Makes me sad to think about, but that's the way things are. And the problem here is that she simply won't give religion a chance at all. She insists all of her beliefs of it being controllng and whatnot, but at the same time, she holds the same morality beliefs as I do, and that's why it gets weird. To be honest, it seems to me she's more against the heirarchy of the Christian church than of the actual religion itself, as her arguements are based more around the issues of wealth and power (and partially the priesthood being exclusively male) than whether or not religion is real. So i don't understand fully what her issues are with religion, because as open-minded as she is about everything else in the world, religion is a no-no for her. And even stranger, her parents are deeply religious. Go figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Krystal Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Huh... looks like I hit a nerve. I'll respond to the other topic. @StarFoxfan-FUR_ever It's not unusual at all for a child of deeply religious parents to be against religion completely. There's something like a 33% chance of that occurring, from what I've seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 So complicated stuff has come up with my mate. She can't yet tell me what it is, but she seemed to hint at perhaps moving. If not, it's something major that's going to change her home situation, likely either staying the same or maybe getting worse for her. I can't do jack shit to help her, and it feels fucking horrible. She says it'll all be over in a couple of weeks though. I have no clue how to cope with this. Advice please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 So complicated stuff has come up with my mate. She can't yet tell me what it is, but she seemed to hint at perhaps moving. If not, it's something major that's going to change her home situation, likely either staying the same or maybe getting worse for her. I can't do jack shit to help her, and it feels fucking horrible. She says it'll all be over in a couple of weeks though. I have no clue how to cope with this. Advice please. ah, be supportive now of all times. Make sure she knows your behind her for what ever might happen, other then that logic. I think i'm terrible with ladies so you got me there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 ah, be supportive now of all times. Make sure she knows your behind her for what ever might happen, other then that logic. I think i'm terrible with ladies so you got me there. I've got that. I've been as supportive as I can possibly be since we met. I've always tried to be there for her, and have no intention of bailing now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaos_Leader Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Hi SFO! I've got a very special announcement to make here: Jabariboykin and I are now in a honest-to-goodness long-distance relationship. We first got in touch with eachother over deviantart, where I saw a pic Jabari had commissioned and added a pretty good backstory to. I left a comment, and then went took a look at some of her writing on ff.net, where I left a few reviews. These quickly snowballed into PM conversations, about all sorts of things really, and generally getting to know each other better. Then I was invited onto Skype, where we talked more often, for longer, and about lots and lots more things. Long story short: Jabari needed advice and support to help her through a very tricky and uncertain time, and I was the one who was there to help her through all that. [May add more details later] Things worked out great, we grew much much closer, and now we love each other very, very much. Thanks for the time SFO! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redeemer Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Yay! Congrats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjakob42 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Okay, if anybody could help me out a little bit...(by the way, gave up on the girl that I'm always talking about on here) So there's this ex-coworker from my first job (Outback) that I got back in touch with, and I'm about 90% positive she likes me. My "evidence": 1) When I got her number, she went out of her way to tell me that she's now single. 2) One night when I went into Outback about a week and a half ago, and she got somebody to cover for her so she could have dinner with me. Apparently she had a feeling I was going to stop by. Not to mention in our conversation she asked if I had a girlfriend... 3) Overall, she's always very flirtatious and always calling me honey/sweetie/etc. So we were talking about wanting to hang out about a week ago, so I called her and she told me that we couldn't hang out because of some issues after getting pulled over. Ever since, though, she's not responded to any of my texts or calls (and I don't text/call everyday - since we're not dating I don't want to hover too much [not that I would hover if we were]). I stopped in at Outback and she was all up for chatting and whatnot (being the way she always is). I'm not sitting in her section, so I know she's not being flirtatious because she wants tips and whatnot. I'm remaining pretty optimistic and I figure maybe she lost her phone or something of the sort, but I figure I'd ask for some speculations or advice from fellow SFOians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fana McCloud Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Did you like... actually ask her why she wasn't responding? Maybe in a gentle manner that makes it clear that you ask out of concern and not stalker-ish-ness. XD Something like "Hey, did you not receive my texts or something? Did you loose your phone for awhile?" I think that'd be the first thing on my "To Do" list. Understanding why she didn't respond might help guide your way forward. I really know next to nothing about approaching people though, being a female and an introvert to boot. I mean you could be blunt and ask her if she has any interest in you, and express your interest in her. Part of what always annoys me about relationships, or starting them rather, is how much people dance around each other hoping to not embarrass or offend the other, when I believe honesty doesn't hurt anyone. So I'd say just be completely straightforward and tasteful about the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 First of all, congrats to chaos_Leader, sounds very similar to my story, with the PMing and DeviantArt-ing. Second, @ Mjakob: Just wait. Try to stay in contact with her. Heck, leave her notes at Outback. Start shooting notes back and forth. When I first met my mate, neither of us really did much IMing and texting wasn't an option either, so we sent tons of DeviantArt notes, so we could read them later. Little bit like snail mail. I can imagine physical notes work just as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vy'drach Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 STATUS UPDATE: Still single, still unconcerned, lawl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fana McCloud Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 STATUS UPDATE: Still single, still unconcerned, lawl. Ditto. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gene Inari Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redeemer Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Well... One year ago, exactly one year ago today, my best friend broke the friendzone. And here's to many more years. Happy anniversary, R3dFiVe. :3 <3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Well... One year ago, exactly one year ago today, my best friend broke the friendzone. And here's to many more years. Happy anniversary, R3dFiVe. :3 <3 The first year is always full of rainbows and roses. After that, you realize that special person snores, punches you on their sleep, sleep talk or just move a lot, and then, everything is not cute anymore >: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarita Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 The first year is always full of rainbows and roses. After that, you realize that special person snores, punches you on their sleep, sleep talk or just move a lot, and then, everything is not cute anymore >: He almost broke my nose, once. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 He almost broke my nose, once. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gene Inari Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 The first year is always full of rainbows and roses. After that, you realize that special person snores, punches you on their sleep, sleep talk or just move a lot, and then, everything is not cute anymore >: He almost broke my nose, once. I lol'd. I'm in a long-distance deal, so I'd take even that over nothing. :U Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RomulanNinja Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I have a girlfriend that I've been going out with for 6 months. I'm 15 and she is 16. It's great most of the time but most of the time im just an ass. Don't know how I got this far but I guess I can't complain. She says she loves me and junk but I can still picture her leaving. There is also another BIG issue that I would love to share but I am not sure it's appropriate for this "cute" little topic. It is nothing sexual but still maybe more mature. More along the lines of Bipolar Depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redeemer Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 HAHA! Goddamn it Steve and Sissi, you guys are like, veterans. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zzz Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Happy anniversary, love :3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Congrats to R3D and Redeemer! Speaking of which, it's been almost a year since me and my mate started courting as well. October 19th will be it, I think. On a related note, I finally found out what happened to my girl. She was able to explain it all. Some of what happened I'm going to have to leave out, so there may still be bits and peices missing. I don't expect you to read all of this, but if you do, I appreciate it. I needed to tell someone, just to see what they have to say about it, and nobody I know IRL has ever had to deal with anything like this. Middle class friends with middle class girlfriends nngh We've started walking back from school together on occasion. I have to leave her at the halfway point to go in the other direction, so usually there's some downtime between when I leave and when she gets picked up from that point. One day, she mentioned that it was taking longer than usual for her dad to pick her up. Eventually, both her dad and her mom showed up, told them to get in the car. They had lost their house. With barely any money to their names (hint, I have more in the bank right now), they called into both her mom and her dad's jobs so that they could get time off to find somewhere to live. Eventually they went to a hotel and rented two rooms. They had lived in that house their entire lives, and now it was gone. I knew none of this, except for the day after at school, she mentioned she was by our first period class. So I walked over there, and was immediately greeted by a hug. Normally we say good morning in this way, however, she didn't let go. My stomach flipped a couple of times, and I asked her if she was okay. She shrugged, however I've found that my mate is effective at hiding emotions. At lunch I talked with her to make sure she was safe, and she said that she was, and that we could talk later on Skype. That was a couple of weeks ago, when I first kind of flipped out here, not quite sure what to do because she couldn't tell me. Still, she managed to make it through school, and I was as supportive as I could possibly be. I had no clue that they were currently homeless, in a sense, only that she probably wouldn't have much time to talk on Steam and Skype. They went on the search for a house, and eventually found someone gracious enough to let them get a lease on his, even with their notably bad credit. The whole thing is surreal when you know all the details that I can't post here, and even though they were almost moved in by the time I found out, I still kind of silently flipped my shit. It sounded more like a movie premise than something that would actually happen, much less to someone close to me. My family is middle class, and I've never really had to worry about not having enough money before. It really put things into perspective for me, and I'm much more thankful for what I have now because of it. The problem that I have is that at my age, I can't do much at all, besides be supportive. It's fucking frustrating as hell, because I know she's hurting, and that she needs to get away from home, but I'm still waiting to get my driver's licence (I waited too long to take a class nngh), and she can't just move in with me. I literally have no control over what happens to her, and knowing their financial situation, things are still going to be shaky for a while to come. She's a strong girl, and she's learned to deal with it, but it's not the life she deserves, and I can't do anything about it. Can't wait until we can move out and get her away from all this stuff. Just needed to tell somebody about this. Kind of a weight off my shoulders. If you've got advice, great, if not, that's okay too. If it's TMI, I'm sorry. Needed to vent a bit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjakob42 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 @ LoneWolf, I don't have too much experience with women, but if I could give you any advice at all it is to remain as supportive as possible. I wish I could give more advice, but that's seriously all I can give without any GF experience. Always let her know that whenever she needs to talk/get something off her chest, you're more than happy to oblige. I feel kind of bad posting my update due to lack of good advice for LoneWolf, but I'm too happy! Come Monday, I will be going out on my first date ever with the girl from Outback I mentioned earlier. A few weeks ago, I bought us tickets to see Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson (surprisingly, she's also a metalhead like myself), but I never told her until this past Tuesday (wanted to keep it a surprise). I felt bad that I had to ask via text, but I never had a chance to stop into OB, so...a last resort's a last resort, right? Besides, she sent me about five texts saying how excited she is, so now I'm even more excited than I already was! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drasiana Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 The first year is always full of rainbows and roses. After that, you realize that special person snores, punches you on their sleep, sleep talk or just move a lot, and then, everything is not cute anymore >: Faisul once woke me up to semi-sleep-talk about a mysterious "jellyfish party" before instantly falling back asleep Even "doing crazy shit while you sleep" manages to be endearing, though! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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