Love Life Talk

[Fluxy]

Nice. Round of applause for that low blow there. What next? "Your fat, so your opinion doesn't matter!"?

To answer your question no. I don't have a girlfriend, but I have been burned often enough, and seen planty of women abuse themselves to know something. Hence my "I can contribute!" remark from before because I can give some meaningful insight for a change.

Since you care about qualifications so much, my past is almost exclusivly nerd based. Computers, Board Games, Warhammer, Comics. As a result, I have seen many many people, myself included, get ignored by a woman who claims to only like nice guys or nerd, or whatever, only to run into the arms of a guy who beats them up again and again.

They claim many things, heres 2 of the main ones. 1, they like nice guys, but they hate nerdX because he's too nice, so it must be an act to get into her knickers. 2, they want a guy isn't afraid to show feelings before going with some steriotype 'hard case' because "He's manly".

Therefor, Firas claim that nerdiness isn't a problem is inconsistent with my experience. I can't offer a sollution, but I know that claim is total bollocks. I have never, not once, seen a nerd guy get a girlfriend without it being before entering geekdom. The few that did were just being used for some other end. eg. 'dating' a computer technitian long enough so he can set up all her computer, internet, electronics ect. and then just happen to break up afterwards.

Doesn't make it fact though. :P

[Kid_Cortet]

Therefor, Firas claim that nerdiness isn't a problem is inconsistent with my experience. I can't offer a sollution, but I know that claim is total bollocks. I have never, not once, seen a nerd guy get a girlfriend without it being before entering geekdom. The few that did were just being used for some other end. eg. 'dating' a computer technitian long enough so he can set up all her computer, internet, electronics ect. and then just happen to break up afterwards.

im a nerd...and i had a girlfriend before...lasted two years thank you very much

[Sabre]

Doesn't make it fact though.

??? When did I say it was?

[Milkyway64]

Nice. Round of applause for that low blow there. What next? "Your fat, so your opinion doesn't matter!"?

To answer your question no. I don't have a girlfriend, but I have been burned often enough, and seen planty of women abuse themselves to know something. Hence my "I can contribute!" remark from before because I can give some meaningful insight for a change.

Since you care about qualifications so much, my past is almost exclusivly nerd based. Computers, Board Games, Warhammer, Comics. As a result, I have seen many many people, myself included, get ignored by a woman who claims to only like nice guys or nerd, or whatever, only to run into the arms of a guy who beats them up again and again.

They claim many things, heres 2 of the main ones. 1, they like nice guys, but they hate nerdX because he's too nice, so it must be an act to get into her knickers. 2, they want a guy isn't afraid to show feelings before going with some steriotype 'hard case' because "He's manly".

Therefor, Firas claim that nerdiness isn't a problem is inconsistent with my experience. I can't offer a sollution, but I know that claim is total bollocks. I have never, not once, seen a nerd guy get a girlfriend without it being before entering geekdom. The few that did were just being used for some other end. eg. 'dating' a computer technitian long enough so he can set up all her computer, internet, electronics ect. and then just happen to break up afterwards.

I'd again like to point out that you really don't know what you're talking about. Low blow or not, it's the truth. Especially since you're making your opinion and experience look like fact, which I don't even have to explain why it doesn't.

People are a bit more three dimensional than you think (I know, it's sometimes hard to swallow that it's more than JUST YOU with deep thoughts and feelings) so either get out moar, or shut up.

[Xortberg]

Or experience.

Your point?

In Fire Emblem debates, we have an acronym that we like to make sure everyone is aware of: PEMN. Personal Experience Means Nothing.

This doesn't completely apply to the situation at hand, but the principle still covers this nicely. You are stating an absolute based off of personal experience in a situation where there are far too many variables to come to a real conclusion. What is 'nerdy'? How many nerd criteria does one have to fall under to be considered 'too nerdy' for a woman? Your logic, or lack thereof, astounds me, quite honestly.

Tl;dr, don't state absolutes about something an absolute won't apply to.

[Fluxy]

??? When did I say it was?

Just saying. When did I say it was. No harm, no foul.

[Sabre]

Just saying. When did I say it was. No harm, no foul.

Ok? I'm guessing there is some in-joke I'm not aware of?

Anyway, social interactions are all opinion based, with few absolutes. Even then, cultures vary widley. What I say might only apply to where I live, me as a person, autistic over analasis, possably even confirmation bias. If we are not allowed to disagree, to argue our opinions, what's the point in the forum? You could have a bot post "I agree." to everything.

To clarify, that is my experience on nerds getting girlfriends. Some people online claims it happened to them, but as far as RL goes I have never seen it happen, not once. I can give an example of a nerd who got a girlfriend after dropping his nerdiness if you like? I can also give you an example of a good friend who I never saw when he got a GF and demanded he change.

[Fluxy]

Anyway, social interactions are all opinion based, with few absolutes. Even then, cultures vary widley. What I say might only apply to where I live, me as a person, autistic over analasis, possably even confirmation bias. If we are not allowed to disagree, to argue our opinions, what's the point in the forum? You could have a bot post "I agree." to everything.

I agree. But in all seriousness, I do. *Nods* :)

[Xortberg]

I wasn't attacking you posting your opinion, brah. I was merely pointing out that you were claiming an absolute as if you're an undeniable authority when not only have you only interacted with a minuscule portion of the females in the world, but there is no way an absolute could apply. Only a complete lack of logic could really suggest that to be true.

["User"]

Nice. Round of applause for that low blow there. What next? "Your fat, so your opinion doesn't matter!"?

Please...that was far from a low blow and was not my intention.  If I wanted to low blow you it would have been far more obvious.  Heck I even threw in a "no offense" comment for a perfectly justifiable reason. (i.e. your lack of experience)  I never said your opinion didn't matter.  I was asking an honest question pertaining to whether or not you had experience in the area of love.  Since it seems you've been trying recently to establish yourself as authority in the subject (at least to me) in this thread I thought I'd just throw in a question of credibility and see how you would answer because I've been wondering myself over the last few pages and from other topics a well.

To answer your question no. I don't have a girlfriend, but I have been burned often enough, and seen planty of women abuse themselves to know something. Hence my "I can contribute!" remark from before because I can give some meaningful insight for a change.

I was referring more to practical experience in this regard but okay.

Since you care about qualifications so much, my past is almost exclusivly nerd based. Computers, Board Games, Warhammer, Comics. As a result, I have seen many many people, myself included, get ignored by a woman who claims to only like nice guys or nerd, or whatever, only to run into the arms of a guy who beats them up again and again.

Fair enough

Therefor, Firas claim that nerdiness isn't a problem is inconsistent with my experience.

I can't offer a sollution, but I know that claim is total bollocks. I have never, not once, seen a nerd guy get a girlfriend without it being before entering geekdom. The few that did were just being used for some other end. eg. 'dating' a computer technitian long enough so he can set up all her computer, internet, electronics ect. and then just happen to break up afterwards.

See, in this case since your experience is almost exclusively limited to nerdom/geekdom you're severely limited in scope with your opinion. And if you can't offer a solution then how do you know for a fact that her claim is total bollocks? She has a much broader scope from her experiences then you have - hence her opinion, IMO, carries more weight. Furthermore, I can speak from experience as well having had GF's before AND after becoming a "geek" (at least with the physical appearance) which directly contradicts your view that its "total bollocks" (from your experience).  And it seems that Kid_Cortet has as well.

If we are not allowed to disagree, to argue our opinions, what's the point in the forum?

You have a habit of presenting your opinions as absolute facts. Regardless of whether this is your intention or not it annoys several of the posters here.  Maybe rewording your posts would to not be so absolute would be a good idea to avoid confusion because honestly Sabre it's difficult to tell with you sometimes.

[Sabre]

Please...that was far from a low blow and was not my intention.  If I wanted to low blow you it would have been far more obvious.  Heck I even threw in a "no offense" comment for a perfectly justifiable reason. (i.e. your lack of experience)  I never said your opinion didn't matter.  I was asking an honest question pertaining to whether or not you had experience in the area of love.  Since it seems you've been trying recently to establish yourself as authority in the subject (at least to me) in this thread I thought I'd just throw in a question of credibility and see how you would answer because I've been wondering myself over the last few pages and from other topics a well.

I was referring more to practical experience in this regard but okay.

Fair enough

See, in this case since your experience is almost exclusively limited to nerdom/geekdom you're severely limited in scope with your opinion. And if you can't offer a solution then how do you know for a fact that her claim is total bollocks? She has a much broader scope from her experiences then you have - hence her opinion, IMO, carries more weight. Furthermore, I can speak from experience as well having had GF's before AND after becoming a "geek" (at least with the physical appearance) which directly contradicts your view that its "total bollocks" (from your experience).  And it seems that Kid_Cortet has as well.

You have a habit of presenting your opinions as absolute facts. Regardless of whether this is your intention or not it annoys several of the posters here.  Maybe rewording your posts would to not be so absolute would be a good idea to avoid confusion because honestly Sabre it's difficult to tell with you sometimes.

Question. When have I ever claimed to be an athority on love? Early on I established the fact I officially gave up, and was mainly here to prevent a wave of wishy washy disney crap that does not, and never will happen. A little thing called reality gets in the way there.

Practical experience?

See, in this case since your experience is almost exclusively limited to nerdom/geekdom you're severely limited in scope with your opinion. And if you can't offer a solution then how do you know for a fact that her claim is total bollocks?

Exactly, hance why I joked I can actually contribute. eg. My experience of Britain is limited to north east and a brief holiday in London, so I can't give you a detailed description of every city, but when it comes to the north east I can give you detailed insight as that is where I live. So, with that, having been around geeks almost (but not entirly) exclusivly who has been at this long enough to actually surrender I feel as though my very specific experience is relevent.

As for nerds getting girlfriends. We are talking a very very very small percentage here. As I learned well after that incident with the law of attraction I mentioned in another thread, it's very easy to selectivly choose who represents your group. In this case, you, Kid, Fira. 3 out of the, lets say 100 nerds I've met in RL and online actually got a GF, and as you admitted, you were not imersed in geek culture from the begining. But let's still count you in. That's still a 97% failure rate. That's just a quick guess of course, and doesn't account for the future when I didn't know them. The point is it's a small number that isn't representative.

[Xortberg]

Question. When have I ever claimed to be an athority on love? Early on I established the fact I officially gave up, and was mainly here to prevent a wave of wishy washy disney crap that does not, and never will happen. A little thing called reality gets in the way there.

Practical experience?

When have you ever claimed to be an authority on love? Right here, actually. Look closely:

and was mainly here to prevent a wave of wishy washy disney crap that does not, and never will happen. A little thing called reality gets in the way there.

Looks pretty authoritative to me. You are, once again, claiming this as an absolute fact, when it is, in fact, not. If you gave up on it and have no authority on love, then how can you claim this to be true? Seems like boldfaced hypocrisy to me.

Exactly, hance why I joked I can actually contribute. eg. My experience of Britain is limited to north east and a brief holiday in London, so I can't give you a detailed description of every city, but when it comes to the north east I can give you detailed insight as that is where I live. So, with that, having been around geeks almost (but not entirly) exclusivly who has been at this long enough to actually surrender I feel as though my very specific experience is relevent.

Your very specific experience which applies to a minuscule portion of the entire world's population. People here come from all over. I'm not saying your personal experience is wrong in any way; personal experience is in no way possibly wrong. But you are, as I have said multiple times already, claiming this as an absolute fact as if it applies to everyone everywhere. Wrong.

As for nerds getting girlfriends. We are talking a very very very small percentage here. As I learned well after that incident with the law of attraction I mentioned in another thread, it's very easy to selectivly choose who represents your group. In this case, you, Kid, Fira. 3 out of the, lets say 100 nerds I've met in RL and online actually got a GF, and as you admitted, you were not imersed in geek culture from the begining. But let's still count you in. That's still a 97% failure rate. That's just a quick guess of course, and doesn't account for the future when I didn't know them. The point is it's a small number that isn't representative.

You are doing it WRONG. Representative samples don't come from a Star Fox forum in the depths of the Internet. In fact, this particular subject is really something that can have no representative sample at all, because as I said before, the concept of nerd is entirely relative from person to person. Therefore, stating that any real logical facts or practices can apply to this topic is a flawed premise to begin with.

[Kid_Cortet]

wow...and you guys went off on me for going off on him.....and all THIS over someone thinking they are too nerdy for someone to love them and someone else trying to encourage them?!?!

[Sabre]

wow...and you guys went off on me for going off on him.....and all THIS over someone thinking they are too nerdy for someone to love them and someone else trying to encourage them?!?!

Well, I think that's wrong. There's a difference between usful advice, and crap. Fira said not to let his nerdiness hold him back. I believe it damage his chances greatly. The rest is mostly other people calling me an idiot and me justifying my possition.

[Xortberg]

I'm not calling you an idiot. I'm calling you a stonking great assface. You repeatedly claim that you have no authority on the subject, and in spite of this claim, you speak as if you know everything and that anyone who agrees with you is wrong. You aren't justifying anything, either. You're just continuing to say the same "Not an authority, but what I say is right" crap.

[Kid_Cortet]

Well, I think that's wrong. There's a difference between usful advice, and crap. Fira said not to let his nerdiness hold him back. I believe it damage his chances greatly. The rest is mostly other people calling me an idiot and me justifying my possition.

maybe Fira said it to lift his spirits.....nothing more. Nerdiness never damages chances.....I know people who flat out cannot walk who have chances....and have taken them...and others who have one arm or what not....that point of hurting ones chances....is IMO bs....

[Sabre]

But lifting his spirits is bad. What if he fails miserably? It's a false sence of security that could cause social damage.

I don't see what a physical disability has to do with the issue. Also hurting doesn't mean reduced to 0. Let's say a normal guy has a 50% chance, a nerd might only have 5%. I'll take a 50-50 odd, but not 95-5.

[Xortberg]

But lifting his spirits is bad. What if he fails miserably? It's a false sence of security that could cause social damage.

I don't see what a physical disability has to do with the issue. Also hurting doesn't mean reduced to 0. Let's say a normal guy has a 50% chance, a nerd might only have 5%. I'll take a 50-50 odd, but not 95-5.

Goddommit, Fronk! Quit ignoring me!

Anyway, how is lifting his spirits bad? Sure, there's a chance for failure, but it's better than saying "Oh yeah, there's no chance you'll ever be happy. Just give up." Anyway, your talk of odds is nothing but baseless conjecture.

[Thu'um]

Please...that was far from a low blow and was not my intention.  If I wanted to low blow you it would have been far more obvious.  Heck I even threw in a "no offense" comment for a perfectly justifiable reason. (i.e. your lack of experience)  I never saI id your opinion didn't matter.  I was asking an honest question pertaining to whether or not you had experience in the area of love.  Since it seems you've been trying recently to establish yourself as authority in the subject (at least to me) in this thread I thought I'd just throw in a question of credibility and see how you would answer because I've been wondering myself over the last few pages and from other topics a well.

i am just gonna throw this back at you user but not every one will see it the way you do. ( it was hard for me to say cause i look up to you man  :)

[Steve]

Anyway, how is lifting his spirits bad? Sure, there's a chance for failure, but it's better than saying "Oh yeah, there's no chance you'll ever be happy. Just give up." Anyway, your talk of odds is nothing but baseless conjecture.

And I debated the same a loooong time ago. I got attacked with the disney crap and the 1 in a million chance. Although, by sabre's standards, I'm currently involved in the so called disney crap fantasy that only happens in kiddish movies. I have seen more that one person whose story relates to mine, which is more than enough to make the impossible, possible.

Every person is entitled to his/her own opinions, and even though I disagree with 90% of what Sabre says about love, he has the right to voice what he thinks, as long as it's good willed, even if he seems to use harsh/serious words to describe his opinions. Though, being a smartass or "lol I win, cause I say so" is just too much. I mean this last sentence in the most neutral way possible, of course.

Love is one of those things that are hard to explain, every person sees it with different eyes, and there's no absolute in the subject, but there's at LEAST some basic ground. What works with one person, might not work with another, and viceversa, what didn't work with one might work with another. Cultural, age, location, etc,etc play a huge role  though, and yes, while luck IS a factor here, it won't get you anywhere if you can't keep the flame up, assuming that the interest is based from attraction and love . Being in a relationship doesn't make you automatically an expert in love, the same logic is applied to people that have been rejected many times, while that person might already have enough experience to "predict" what might happen, it doesn't mean it's the most viable thing to happen. Like I said, there's no absolute, and I don't even consider my opinions to be "basic ground", they are simply my opinions, which might or might not be accepted by others.

The only thing I can steadily say that I believe and know, from MY point of view, that's truly right, would be, there's not a freaking guide to nail love. For this to be true, it would have to work with every existing person on earth. Some concepts are general, but their implementation tends to be random and the results are mostly unpredictable. In other words, love is not an exact science/subject/thing/blahblah.

[Fira-Astrali]

I can contribute! Awesome.

I have to say you are wrong. Everyone wants a nerd woman. Nerds for obvious reasons, and idiots want them too to leach off their talent or play off their insecurity.

The few women who claim they like or don't mind nerds are lying.

YOU CALLIN' ME A LIAR, FOOL!?! 

hehehe , i think for me it was a case of "birds of a feather" so i can't comment on how normal women perceive nerds. But in my school, I know for a fact that if you admit you play D&D, it's social suicide. Most girls my age I would assume wouldn't want to date a nerd/geek/w.e because it would decrease their social standing to not get with a guy who isn't popular.

Since I don't give a shit what ppl think about me (for the most part) it left my path clear for a more meaningful relationship

Nice. Round of applause for that low blow there. What next? "Your fat, so your opinion doesn't matter!"?

To answer your question no. I don't have a girlfriend, but I have been burned often enough, and seen planty of women abuse themselves to know something. Hence my "I can contribute!" remark from before because I can give some meaningful insight for a change.

Since you care about qualifications so much, my past is almost exclusivly nerd based. Computers, Board Games, Warhammer, Comics. As a result, I have seen many many people, myself included, get ignored by a woman who claims to only like nice guys or nerd, or whatever, only to run into the arms of a guy who beats them up again and again.

They claim many things, heres 2 of the main ones. 1, they like nice guys, but they hate nerdX because he's too nice, so it must be an act to get into her knickers. 2, they want a guy isn't afraid to show feelings before going with some steriotype 'hard case' because "He's manly".

Therefor, Firas claim that nerdiness isn't a problem is inconsistent with my experience. I can't offer a sollution, but I know that claim is total bollocks. I have never, not once, seen a nerd guy get a girlfriend without it being before entering geekdom. The few that did were just being used for some other end. eg. 'dating' a computer technitian long enough so he can set up all her computer, internet, electronics ect. and then just happen to break up afterwards.

*Sigh*, you caught me on a bad night, buddy, bc you've finally said something to piss me off a little. I'm starting to get offended that you have lumped me in with all the other girls that I have been proud of all my life to not be like. Tell you the truth. I dont like nerds. I dont like surfers or jocks or preps or whatever freaking clic a person falls into. I care about the person. And if the person is supposidly some hot jock, but he's rotten on the inside, then screw that. But if it's some awsome guy that happens to also be a nerd, who gives a shit? And if a girl cares so much about a guys social circle, she's fvcking stupid.

Now, let's be fair, you really don't know me from a hill of beans, and techincally you didn't actually lump me in there, but you did make a sweeping generalization that all women either don't like nerds or are using them, and that any women that says different is lying. Well then call me a liar, because Asper was a nerd long before I knew him, and I love him to death.

*Whew!* Okay, mini-rant over! :)

[Sabre]

And I debated the same a loooong time ago. I got attacked with the disney crap and the 1 in a million chance. Although, by sabre's standards, I'm currently involved in the so called disney crap fantasy that only happens in kiddish movies. I have seen more that one person whose story relates to mine, which is more than enough to make the impossible, possible.

Every person is entitled to his/her own opinions, and even though I disagree with 90% of what Sabre says about love, he has the right to voice what he thinks, as long as it's good willed, even if he seems to use harsh/serious words to describe his opinions. Though, being a smartass or "lol I win, cause I say so" is just too much. I mean this last sentence in the most neutral way possible, of course.

Love is one of those things that are hard to explain, every person sees it with different eyes, and there's no absolute in the subject, but there's at LEAST some basic ground. What works with one person, might not work with another, and viceversa, what didn't work with one might work with another. Cultural, age, location, etc,etc play a huge role  though, and yes, while luck IS a factor here, it won't get you anywhere if you can't keep the flame up, assuming that the interest is based from attraction and love . Being in a relationship doesn't make you automatically an expert in love, the same logic is applied to people that have been rejected many times, while that person might already have enough experience to "predict" what might happen, it doesn't mean it's the most viable thing to happen. Like I said, there's no absolute, and I don't even consider my opinions to be "basic ground", they are simply my opinions, which might or might not be accepted by others.

The only thing I can steadily say that I believe and know, from MY point of view, that's truly right, would be, there's not a freaking guide to nail love. For this to be true, it would have to work with every existing person on earth. Some concepts are general, but their implementation tends to be random and the results are mostly unpredictable. In other words, love is not an exact science/subject/thing/blahblah.

My truth is one truth. Obay or I will QQ to mods.

Seriously though. While there is no one secret to love, there is one for sex. Simply put, some guys have developed a seduction technique that has such a high success rate it's almost garunteed. We can't say for certain that there won't be a guide to making someone love, just no one has found it yet.

Now, let's be fair, you really don't know me from a hill of beans, and techincally you didn't actually lump me in there, but you did make a sweeping generalization that all women either don't like nerds or are using them, and that any women that says different is lying. Well then call me a liar, because Asper was a nerd long before I knew him, and I love him to death.

Correct. As you know, I'm a fan of evidence and numbers. Many women have said exactly what you have, only to be lying. Let's assume you are telling the truth though. You are the one in however many women I've met in my life that does that. Similar to my eirlier point, that still leaves such a small number. Until I see it in RL I remain unconvinced.

[Kid_Cortet]

Seriously though. While there is no one secret to love, there is one for sex. Simply put, some guys have developed a seduction technique that has such a high success rate it's almost garunteed. We can't say for certain that there won't be a guide to making someone love, just no one has found it yet.

I has....i have it in a book of practical Voodoo.....>:3 (just decide not to use it lol)

[Fira-Astrali]

Correct. As you know, I'm a fan of evidence and numbers. Many women have said exactly what you have, only to be lying. Let's assume you are telling the truth though. You are the one in however many women I've met in my life that does that. Similar to my eirlier point, that still leaves such a small number. Until I see it in RL I remain unconvinced.

Assume I'm telling the truth? Good, that's a great place to start. Sorry but when you lump me in with what women are stereotypically like, them's fightin' words! Hence zee mini-rant I wanna say that your painting women in a really bad light here, but most of the stuff I've seen doesn't give me much to debate with >.> All i can say is that you CANT say that every single woman does the exact same thing. There are some out there who aren't idiots. At the very best you can say that MOST are lying when they say they only care about the inside.

I has....i have it in a book of practical Voodoo.....>:3 (just decide not to use it lol)

lol, using magick to effect another persons will? that'll get you in shit every time :P

[Milkyway64]

Correct. As you know, I'm a fan of evidence and numbers. Many women have said exactly what you have, only to be lying. Let's assume you are telling the truth though. You are the one in however many women I've met in my life that does that. Similar to my eirlier point, that still leaves such a small number. Until I see it in RL I remain unconvinced.

Looks like you're also a  fan of pulling opinion baseless conjecture and calling it fact, too. Despite all the points Xort has made against you, you have had nothing to say to them. Why?