Love Life Talk

[Thu'um]

i got mah gf back!!!!!!!!! she asked me out last thursday & i said yes!!!!

i missed this what happened

[Kid_Cortet]

My heart can't handle this crap anymore from guys........being ignored because I am too young...ignored because I am too old...ignored because they can't handle being friends at first.....ignored because I don't want to give it up everyday.....ignored because things go great and they are afraid of relationships......ignored because they don't even want to TRY to see how happy I can make them.....ignored because I am open about who I am....ignored because I try too "hard".....ignored because they "think" we would not be a good match....ignored because they have to "find" themselves.....ignored because apparently I am not mature enough...or....ignored because I can be too mature.....ignored because I would prefer a quiet night at home.....ignored because when I DO want to go out, they don't find interest in anything I do.....ignored because I want an equal relationship and they want it to be a sub/dom relationship....ignored because of just who I am in general......sick of it ><

[Thu'um]

My heart can't handle this crap anymore from guys........being ignored because I am too young...ignored because I am too old...ignored because they can't handle being friends at first.....ignored because I don't want to give it up everyday.....ignored because things go great and they are afraid of relationships......ignored because they don't even want to TRY to see how happy I can make them.....ignored because I am open about who I am....ignored because I try too "hard".....ignored because they "think" we would not be a good match....ignored because they have to "find" themselves.....ignored because apparently I am not mature enough...or....ignored because I can be too mature.....ignored because I would prefer a quiet night at home.....ignored because when I DO want to go out, they don't find interest in anything I do.....ignored because I want an equal relationship and they want it to be a sub/dom relationship....ignored because of just who I am in general......sich of it ><

There's got to be some one out there all's you can do is keep looking. Your still pretty young.

[Kid_Cortet]

There's got to be some one out there all's you can do is keep looking. Your still pretty young.

I'm young...and that is one of the problems...guy my age either want someone older...or younger....not near.....and those who are older...want someone their age...and younger want their age...I hate being 23 right now

[Thu'um]

I'm young...and that is one of the problems...I hate being 23 right now

well, you won't say that when your 89

[Kid_Cortet]

well, you won't say that when your 89

actually...no I wont...my mentality actually sometimes higher then those my age...and sometimes those of a grown adult....I would honestly say...I can't wait to be thirty....for example...tonight..went out...went to the place where all the collage kids hang out....could not get myself into the swing of things....went to a place for 30+ of age....yeah....totally had more fun their....

[Sabre]

i got mah gf back!!!!!!!!! she asked me out last thursday & i said yes!!!!

Isnt that usually a bad idea?

I was thinking on the train last night about how people who are in love always believe in the soul mate stuff making me believe that the 2 might be somehow linked, so after some thinking I came back to an old idea. Love is a con to maintain the status quo. It makes more sence then the soulmate idea, and there presidence for it with things like crop circles, homeopathy and even first kiss and first met stories where people stick to their guns to the point of self delusion. This also explains all the issues with the soul mate idea.

With that love isn't just luck like I had previously thought, but rather requires a certain level of belief in woo. This would also explain why none of the RL geeks I know ever get a proper GF.

Of course, I will abandon this idea and accept the possablity of true love if I see it happen to someone I know in RL outside of the good looking/weathly/fasionable crowds.

[Xortberg]

Isnt that usually a bad idea?

Not necessarily.

I was thinking on the train last night about how people who are in love always believe in the soul mate stuff making me believe that the 2 might be somehow linked, so after some thinking I came back to an old idea. Love is a con to maintain the status quo. It makes more sence then the soulmate idea, and there presidence for it with things like crop circles, homeopathy and even first kiss and first met stories where people stick to their guns to the point of self delusion. This also explains all the issues with the soul mate idea.

Firstly, I believe you used 'precedence' wrong. It has to do with ranking something in importance, which really didn't relate to what you said; I'll assume you meant something along the lines of 'there are other phenomena similar to it.' If that is the case, then I must say:

Wut? Saying that it makes more sense, but mentioning crop circles in comparison? I dunno. Your entire comparison here seems off the wall and unrelated, so I'll ignore it and move along to the actual point you were trying to make.

"Love is a con to maintain the status quo." Well, maintaining the status quo is an attempt to resist a large, often momumental change, as far as I am aware. What change are you implying love tries to resist? If you can explain that to me, I might be able to uderstand where your argument is coming from a little better.

With that love isn't just luck like I had previously thought, but rather requires a certain level of belief in woo. This would also explain why none of the RL geeks I know ever get a proper GF.

Of course, I will abandon this idea and accept the possablity of true love if I see it happen to someone I know in RL outside of the good looking/weathly/fasionable crowds.

So, you're picking and choosing where you accept evidence from? No. No no no. Good looking/wealthy/fashionable crowds are just as much people as the rest of society, and their instances of true love are just as valid as yours or mine.

[Sabre]

I don't normally respond to most of your posts but your concerns seems somewhat reasonable so I'll do it.

Firstly, I believe you used 'precedence' wrong. It has to do with ranking something in importance, which really didn't relate to what you said; I'll assume you meant something along the lines of 'there are other phenomena similar to it.' If that is the case, then I must say:

Wut? Saying that it makes more sense, but mentioning crop circles in comparison? I dunno. Your entire comparison here seems off the wall and unrelated, so I'll ignore it and move along to the actual point you were trying to make.

Precedence mean 'to come before'. In context, this means that "There are past examples" watch law and order, they use it in that context alot.

As for crop circles. We know they were invented by people, we know how they did it. They documented everything. People wanted it to be aliens, and so ended up deluding themselves so that they really believe their own bollocks. To put it another way, it can't be wrong because they are defined by it. They believe it to stop their own self destruction if that makes sence.

"Love is a con to maintain the status quo." Well, maintaining the status quo is an attempt to resist a large, often momumental change, as far as I am aware. What change are you implying love tries to resist? If you can explain that to me, I might be able to uderstand where your argument is coming from a little better.

Wrong. The status quo is the established norm, or at least what is percieved to be. For example. Mining is a male dominated industry. therefore the new boss avoids hiring women to maintain the status quo of 'mining is mans work'.

So, to maintain social expecations, I went on at before about how people keep changing the first kiss stories to the point where it becomes outragous because it's expected your first kiss is a magical perfect moment. Example. First meet story. Bill is drunk at a party and is sick on Janes shoes. That get's them talking. 3 months later they will be telling the story of how they first met among friends/family and its "Our eye met across the dance floor as he rode in on an invisable pink unicorn and swept me off my feet" because that is the status quo.

So, you're picking and choosing where you accept evidence from? No. No no no. Good looking/wealthy/fashionable crowds are just as much people as the rest of society, and their instances of true love are just as valid as yours or mine.

Yes. Remember the sick of her shoes example above, if it's not someone I know in RL I cannot varify that is what happened. The idea of soulmate true love is meant to not be based on looks, wealth, ect. So that doesn't fall into true love, she could be a gold digger, after a trophie husband, whatever. Also, remember the status quo. Therefor, those factors have be eliminated. It's not that they don't exsist, they just won't be able to offer convicing data.

[Xortberg]

I don't normally respond to most of your posts but your concerns seems somewhat reasonable so I'll do it.

My concerns are always reasonable! My methods? Maybe not so much 

Precedence mean 'to come before'. In context, this means that "There are past examples" watch law and order, they use it in that context alot.

As for crop circles. We know they were invented by people, we know how they did it. They documented everything. People wanted it to be aliens, and so ended up deluding themselves so that they really believe their own bollocks. To put it another way, it can't be wrong because they are defined by it. They believe it to stop their own self destruction if that makes sence.

A'ight, I can roll with that definition. You ended up meaning what I though you meant anyway, so no harm done, eh? I tend to not watch TV, so forgive my L&W ignorance here.

Yes, crop circles have been made by humans. Still, not all of them have had people come forth and claim the hoax, so people like to try and believe that something more might have caused them. Some might call it ignorance; I call it hope.

Wrong. The status quo is the established norm, or at least what is percieved to be. For example. Mining is a male dominated industry. therefore the new boss avoids hiring women to maintain the status quo of 'mining is mans work'.

Right. Maintaining the established norm is a way of resisting monumental change, which goes hand in hand with the definition I provided.

So, to maintain social expecations, I went on at before about how people keep changing the first kiss stories to the point where it becomes outragous because it's expected your first kiss is a magical perfect moment. Example. First meet story. Bill is drunk at a party and is sick on Janes shoes. That get's them talking. 3 months later they will be telling the story of how they first met among friends/family and its "Our eye met across the dance floor as he rode in on an invisable pink unicorn and swept me off my feet" because that is the status quo.

Yes. Remember the sick of her shoes example above, if it's not someone I know in RL I cannot varify that is what happened. The idea of soulmate true love is meant to not be based on looks, wealth, ect. So that doesn't fall into true love, she could be a gold digger, after a trophie husband, whatever. Also, remember the status quo. Therefor, those factors have be eliminated. It's not that they don't exsist, they just won't be able to offer convicing data.

Yes, people tend to exxagerate their experiences, but not always to maintain some established norm. If an event is significant to a person, it needs to stand out in some way for them to pick it out from among the vast amounts of memories they have of other experiences. Therefore, a simple meeting and talking can easily turn into something more interesting if it is associated with some important event.

You can't eliminate the factors that affect life - if you do, you're only operating in a magical fairy tale world. If you're going to look for true love, you can't look for it with any sort of conditions like 'eliminating factors that shouldn't be a problem for true love' or anything like that. You have to find someone who will love you regardless of any bad factors because they love all the good parts about you - those factors you say should be eliminated.

And of course convincing data can't be offered. Love is a feeling that can't be converted into solid data or anything like that. It's something you experience. Anywho, I've been awake for nearing 24 hours, and am having trouble even seeing straight right now. If any of my points here don't make sense, I'll make them make sense after I've had gratuitous amounts of rest.

[Sabre]

Right. Maintaining the established norm is a way of resisting monumental change, which goes hand in hand with the definition I provided.

The change doesn't have to big I think.

Yes, people tend to exxagerate their experiences, but not always to maintain some established norm.

Maybe, but it's still self delusion. Important, yes, but changing it to match what you wish it was still has the same result.

You can't eliminate the factors that affect life - if you do, you're only operating in a magical fairy tale world. If you're going to look for true love, you can't look for it with any sort of conditions like 'eliminating factors that shouldn't be a problem for true love' or anything like that. You have to find someone who will love you regardless of any bad factors because they love all the good parts about you - those factors you say should be eliminated.

I'm not looking for true love, rather stating what it would take to faulsify my belief to me and admit that soulmate true love is at least possible. "This is my idea, this is what it would take for me to drop this idea"

And of course convincing data can't be offered. Love is a feeling that can't be converted into solid data or anything like that. It's something you experience.

Love is anicdotal, so there is no hard proof, or at least very little, but again, this is what it would take to convince me on the spot. I am not arragant (and a good speller) enough to believe I am a 'good' person or whatever special pleading excuse and selective bias the soulmate believers offer. So therefore I expand it to people I know. People who are kind, honest, ect. but are still single. 

[Xortberg]

The change doesn't have to big I think.

Big is relative. In any case, we're just arguing semantics at this point, so I'll drop this little bit.

Maybe, but it's still self delusion. Important, yes, but changing it to match what you wish it was still has the same result.

Maybe it has the same result, but we aren't looking at the result here; we're looking at the motivation. Yes, I will admit that maintaining the status quo is a very large part of why many people do many things, but here you have admitted that there are instances where that isn't apart of the motivation here.

I'm not looking for true love, rather stating what it would take to faulsify my belief to me and admit that soulmate true love is at least possible. "This is my idea, this is what it would take for me to drop this idea"

Very well, I can take that. I personally don't even really believe in the whole "soulmate" concept myself. I think anyone can be my soulmate, within reasonable limitations.

Love is anicdotal, so there is no hard proof, or at least very little, but again, this is what it would take to convince me on the spot. I am not arragant (and a good speller) enough to believe I am a 'good' person or whatever special pleading excuse and selective bias the soulmate believers offer. So therefore I expand it to people I know. People who are kind, honest, ect. but are still single.

I'll roll with that. Unfortunately, I can do very little to provide any proof to you, as that would take personal experience in finding true love myself >_>

[Sapphire]

Hello guys, sorry for the lack of updating, but my computer has o be cleaned out so I probably wont be back on here for a couple more days. Anyways. zI have come to my senses and realized how much of a slut Jamie is. So, I was at this tent revival in my hometown and I saw Bre (See very beginning posts for more info), who was my X, up there. Well my heart skipped a beat and I tried avoiding contact with her for the rest of the night. Well, at the end she texted me and said "Sorry for whatever I did" and I explained to her how it was my fault and I wasn't ready to loose her when we broke up, yatayatayata. Anyways, I broke up with Jamie, and me and Bre, who is the TRUE love of my life, got back together again. So here we are now Happy we're back together again as we should be ? Any Questions? I do expect 1 from User sense he's so nosey lol

["User"]

Oh, I have many questions.  Some of which may or may not be more appropriate for a PM but who cares.  So without further ado....

Anyways. I have come to my senses and realized how much of a slut Jamie is.

It's good that you've come to your senses, love can have a habit of preventing you from seeing the big picture accurately.  It happened with me and one of my ex's too. And to be honest, ever since that "incident" you told me about regarding Jamie, I kind of had a feeling she was at least a bit "slut-like".

So, I was at this tent revival in my hometown and I saw Bre (See very beginning posts for more info), who was my X, up there. Well my heart skipped a beat and I tried avoiding contact with her for the rest of the night. Well, at the end she texted me and said "Sorry for whatever I did" and I explained to her how it was my fault and I wasn't ready to loose her when we broke up, yatayatayata. Anyways, I broke up with Jamie, and me and Bre, who is the TRUE love of my life, got back together again. So here we are now Happy we're back together again as we should be

Why just suddenly jump back into a relationship after breaking up with someone, regardless of the reasons?  Most of the time that's not always a healthy thing to do and it's been proven that taking time off from relationships in general after breaking up gives you time to heal. In addition, consider the reasons why you broke up with Bre in the first place and ask yourself: "How is this going to work NOW, when it obviously didn't work out in the past?"  Secondly, you assume she is the "true love of your life".  It's a pretty bold assumption to make considering you are still quite young.  I thought the same thing with my first ex when I was completely "blinded" by love and it turned out pretty negative in the end. 

Any Questions? I do expect 1 from User sense he's so nosey lol

It's not as much me being nosy as you posting this stuff all over your facebook page. :P

[Fira-Astrali]

Isnt that usually a bad idea?

I was thinking on the train last night about how people who are in love always believe in the soul mate stuff making me believe that the 2 might be somehow linked, so after some thinking I came back to an old idea. Love is a con to maintain the status quo. It makes more sence then the soulmate idea, and there presidence for it with things like crop circles, homeopathy and even first kiss and first met stories where people stick to their guns to the point of self delusion. This also explains all the issues with the soul mate idea.

With that love isn't just luck like I had previously thought, but rather requires a certain level of belief in woo. This would also explain why none of the RL geeks I know ever get a proper GF.

Of course, I will abandon this idea and accept the possablity of true love if I see it happen to someone I know in RL outside of the good looking/weathly/fasionable crowds.

I'm not sure if I should keep replying to you, because I know that you are trying to talk about the average person, and I don't exactly fit that, but its annoying that every time I read your posts, you sound like you are encompassing every single person on the planet with your statements.

So, I have a question, and this is only an example so don't go thinking I'm vain or anything, but what if, for example, you met Asper and I, as that possibilty of true love, but you decided that one of us was part of the "good looking crowd". Does that mean that we are disqualified? I don't understand, because you are sort of making it sound like if you have anythign going for you that the average shallow person would be looking for, then your partner is automatically using you, and you can't possibly be truely in love.

[Thu'um]

Hello guys, sorry for the lack of updating, but my computer has o be cleaned out so I probably wont be back on here for a couple more days. Anyways. zI have come to my senses and realized how much of a slut Jamie is. So, I was at this tent revival in my hometown and I saw Bre (See very beginning posts for more info), who was my X, up there. Well my heart skipped a beat and I tried avoiding contact with her for the rest of the night. Well, at the end she texted me and said "Sorry for whatever I did" and I explained to her how it was my fault and I wasn't ready to loose her when we broke up, yatayatayata. Anyways, I broke up with Jamie, and me and Bre, who is the TRUE love of my life, got back together again. So here we are now Happy we're back together again as we should be ? Any Questions? I do expect 1 from User sense he's so nosey lol

OMFG (O MY FREAKING GOD) You seemed so happy with girl number 2, then you see girl number 1, Ditch girl number 2, And get back with girl number 1 who seemed to have hurt u super bad  WOW! Not somthing i saw coming

[Steve]

OMFG (O MY FREAKING GOD) You seemed so happy with girl number 2, then you see girl number 1, Ditch girl number 2, And get back with girl number 1 who seemed to have hurt u super bad  WOW! Not somthing i saw coming

Love can be very stubborn (in any case) I had a friend who kept getting together after breaking up (I lost the count after the 13th broke up, seriously) with his gf, even tho we all knew she was a bad person and even him, and that lasted for almost 4 years until he finally got some sense into his mind.

[Arashikage]

Love is both mans best and worst emotion.  I have had several crushes, all which ended badly for me =(, but I eventually moved on.  I'm not sure I want to try again anymore, I hear it's nice, but the getting there is the hardest part

[Fluxy]

Oh! I totally remembered what I wanted to discuss here! =D

Okay. So I have a friend who is a girl, and we had this huge discussion as to why most girls don't ask guys, but simply flirt with them till they [hopefully] get the courage to ask them [Date wise and such that is]. Now, my friend, she always is the one who asks the boys out, which I find hilarious because of the shock on the guys face out of surprise, so I understand and perfectly realize there are girls who will not follow that simple trend.

All and all, I would like to hear from a female perspective [i know who you are O.o] As to why this may be. Why exactly do most women just not be the one to ask? But if you are guy, feel free to respond to this as well, I am just simply more curious as to the female side of this; Because let's face it. Without being sexist, that is usually how things are done, and most men simply just don't have a clue, and most women do. =P Sorry guys.

[Sarita]

Oh! I totally remembered what I wanted to discuss here! =D

Okay. So I have a friend who is a girl, and we had this huge discussion as to why most girls don't ask guys, but simply flirt with them till they [hopefully] get the courage to ask them [Date wise and such that is]. Now, my friend, she always is the one who asks the boys out, which I find hilarious because of the shock on the guys face out of surprise, so I understand and perfectly realize there are girls who will not follow that simple trend.

All and all, I would like to hear from a female perspective [i know who you are O.o] As to why this may be. Why exactly do most women just not be the one to ask? But if you are guy, feel free to respond to this as well, I am just simply more curious as to the female side of this; Because let's face it. Without being sexist, that is usually how things are done, and most men simply just don't have a clue, and most women do. =P Sorry guys.

I dunno why that is, some girls are just more shy than others. Me personally, love when Steve does things that are traditional and cute. Though, we're together now because of me. I kinda asked him out, now that I think about it. Huh, who knew.

[Thu'um]

Oh! I totally remembered what I wanted to discuss here! =D

Okay. So I have a friend who is a girl, and we had this huge discussion as to why most girls don't ask guys, but simply flirt with them till they [hopefully] get the courage to ask them [Date wise and such that is]. Now, my friend, she always is the one who asks the boys out, which I find hilarious because of the shock on the guys face out of surprise, so I understand and perfectly realize there are girls who will not follow that simple trend.

All and all, I would like to hear from a female perspective [i know who you are O.o] As to why this may be. Why exactly do most women just not be the one to ask? But if you are guy, feel free to respond to this as well, I am just simply more curious as to the female side of this; Because let's face it. Without being sexist, that is usually how things are done, and most men simply just don't have a clue, and most women do. =P Sorry guys.

Soo...what did she say?

[Sabre]

I'm not sure if I should keep replying to you, because I know that you are trying to talk about the average person, and I don't exactly fit that, but its annoying that every time I read your posts, you sound like you are encompassing every single person on the planet with your statements.

So, I have a question, and this is only an example so don't go thinking I'm vain or anything, but what if, for example, you met Asper and I, as that possibilty of true love, but you decided that one of us was part of the "good looking crowd". Does that mean that we are disqualified? I don't understand, because you are sort of making it sound like if you have anythign going for you that the average shallow person would be looking for, then your partner is automatically using you, and you can't possibly be truely in love.

Thats a little backwards.  I wouldn't say using you but in short, yes. True love is, according to the people who believe, not based on looks and wealth, but without those things nice people never fall in love. Again, I don't think of myself as a good person, but I know people who are and never get a gf. Likewise, irl every woman who has claimed not to be attracted to wealth looks ect. is spotted later with rich bodybuilder man who treats her badly.

Oh! I totally remembered what I wanted to discuss here! =D

Okay. So I have a friend who is a girl, and we had this huge discussion as to why most girls don't ask guys, but simply flirt with them till they [hopefully] get the courage to ask them [Date wise and such that is]. Now, my friend, she always is the one who asks the boys out, which I find hilarious because of the shock on the guys face out of surprise, so I understand and perfectly realize there are girls who will not follow that simple trend.

All and all, I would like to hear from a female perspective [i know who you are O.o] As to why this may be. Why exactly do most women just not be the one to ask? But if you are guy, feel free to respond to this as well, I am just simply more curious as to the female side of this; Because let's face it. Without being sexist, that is usually how things are done, and most men simply just don't have a clue, and most women do. =P Sorry guys.

I know this one. I have said before about social cues so I will give you short version. Women choose, and then give a social cue for the guy to come over and ask. Guys think they are doing the asking, but rarly do. This is why some guys will stand nervously 'waiting for the right moment' or 'building up the courage'. They are waiting for the cue.

[Fluxy]

I dunno why that is, some girls are just more shy than others. Me personally, love when Steve does things that are traditional and cute. Though, we're together now because of me. I kinda asked him out, now that I think about it. Huh, who knew.

Awww, and Lol. Good for you! lol

I know this one. I have said before about social cues so I will give you short version. Women choose, and then give a social cue for the guy to come over and ask. Guys think they are doing the asking, but rarly do. This is why some guys will stand nervously 'waiting for the right moment' or 'building up the courage'. They are waiting for the cue.

Hm, alright. That does seem rather understandable to a point.

Soo...what did she say?

Lol, she says a lot of things that are best -not- said in a non-mature section. Lolz. 

[Sapphire]

Oh, I have many questions.  Some of which may or may not be more appropriate for a PM but who cares.  So without further ado....

It's good that you've come to your senses, love can have a habit of preventing you from seeing the big picture accurately.  It happened with me and one of my ex's too. And to be honest, ever since that "incident" you told me about regarding Jamie, I kind of had a feeling she was at least a bit "slut-like".

Why just suddenly jump back into a relationship after breaking up with someone, regardless of the reasons?  Most of the time that's not always a healthy thing to do and it's been proven that taking time off from relationships in general after breaking up gives you time to heal. In addition, consider the reasons why you broke up with Bre in the first place and ask yourself: "How is this going to work NOW, when it obviously didn't work out in the past?"  Secondly, you assume she is the "true love of your life".  It's a pretty bold assumption to make considering you are still quite young.  I thought the same thing with my first ex when I was completely "blinded" by love and it turned out pretty negative in the end. 

Well User, we loved each other ALOT when we were dating the first time. And I do mean ALOT. But some...things happened, and we kept breaking up till she took a weak long vacation and didn't get to see me for a week, here's the sucky part, but she fell out of love with me

But she says that she realizes that she loves me and she never wants to loose me again. That night we got back together, alot of MUSHY stuff WAS said.

It's not as much me being nosy as you posting this stuff all over your facebook page.

Oh burn on me, I see how you are USER. I'm watching you punk. Jk user, don't kill me.

[Milkyway64]

Likewise, irl every woman who has claimed not to be attracted to wealth looks ect. is spotted later with rich bodybuilder man who treats her badly.

ITP, Sabre once more knows all!