Love Life Talk

["User"]

Well me and my gf r just fine. except for this fat kid who won't leave her alone because he's jealous. I already beat him up and told him to stay away from her but he just keeps coming back to her!!!! but we just ignore him now

but how do i get rid of the fat kid? anyway, as i said, me and my gf r doing fine!!!

Two wrongs do not make a right. What exactly was he doing/attempting to do to your GF?

[Sabre]

Is this sticky worth? If so: Sorry Vydrach XD

No. Not in the slightest.

[Sideways]

Learn to spell.. C3PO and Storm Trooper..

[EazyIN]

Learn to spell.. C3PO and Storm Trooper..

I didn't make it >_>

[Star Fox Runner]

Currently chatting with my GF on MSN. Haven't been officially in a relationship for that long, but we have known each other for about a year now. As a matter of fact, it was trough a PM on this very site I "proposed". Perhaps needless to say I'm very, very happy about it, and that I would be happy to be with her for the rest of my life?

Reminder, there might be a couple of people here who I predict will come and laugh at what they say is "fairytale-romances". Such efforts to spoil the fun will not be taken lightly.

Congrats Asper! And don't worry, I first made contact with my GF through a PM here, and we're getting along just fine!

[Sabre]

SFO. Single Furries Online. :P

[Dermot]

On MouthOff in the 1990s, a lot of the users were dating each other.

[Konchaski]

It's logical from a evolution sense. It's also why adultery is common. They need a stable man long term to provide, but it wealth, protection, infuence, ect. But they also want good genes and socially desirable boyfriends, who are anything but stable. So, they marry a man who is stable, but have sex with the man who has the good genes and/or they get use to raise their social status.

Actually, I think you're mistaking socialization with instinct which is one of the many failings of evolutionary psychology.  The women's choices, from taking a lot of time to focus on their physical appearance and trying to get a higher social status is a result of having those particular societies only giving those decisions.

An example is in my tribe where these roles were given different roles. The men were raised into the roles and expected to go into hunting, trading, and war where as the women were in charge of farming, owning the actual property, and maintaining the family. In fact, the clans were always ruled by women who made all the land and resource decisions for their clan.  Meanwhile, on the flipside the chiefs, made military decisions, trade agreements, and were the only ones allowed to represent at the Great Council. However, only the women could vote to determine who the representatives of their clan or the chief so they were expected to know politics as well as the men and chose those men on the basis of their knowledge. In fact, it was actually in some ways reverse - the men who came into that clan had to impress the woman in charge. If he was in that clan however, his choice of a woman was held with the same scrutiny where she was expected to be intelligent, able to give birth, and know what was going on in the tribe.

Overall, from society to society there are different standards for men and women.  And most of us were raised in a Western Society, where women have been given these expectations for all these years thus why they continue to go down these particular stereotypes. It's only been fairly recent they have been breaking the barriers but you cannot deny some of those expectations in the media  are portrayed today in America. ( Which hypes up the sexuality yet at the sametime we remain ridiculously prudish to see it 'sinful'. A contradictory lot we are. I've heard things are less of a contradiction so in parts of Europe though. )

That being said, I believe it's not only just women who marry men into money, but men to women, or... just people in general. It's person who does it, not necessarily the gender.

Well, it is not that easy. I simply do not

think you can love more than 'one' people

to be your mate. Otherwise, they become

what they were in ancient times: Sex objects.

Thus, monogamy is important to me in the sense

that I can not love 2 girls at the same time, NOR

I would be happy if my girlfriend had another boyfriend

at the same time. I would feel objectized.

While technically true, that does not means

you 'marry for' convenience. In my country

in fact there have to be 10 years to even think of

'sharing' the holdings.

I think it is possible to hold a polygamist relationship and have it stable and still love the people, but it takes a lot of work, all of them to consent, and much patience. It in fact historically instigates social stability such as after the crusades or the Mormons traveling to Utah for various examples.  In fact, it could create an extended support network in said families. This is not saying all women are married to one men, but perhaps a woman can be married to two men and that man could be married to two women at the sametime.

That being said, this is not saying that you can just decide one day when you're feeling lewd and you cheat on your partner. Then to figuratively use a 'get out of jail free card' you want to claim that to be a polygamist even when you have no intention to stay to take care of said person you cheated with if they got pregnant/beaten up/money problems.  If a person wants to be in a monogamous relationship, and your lover pedals backwards saying they suddenly are polygamist ... just no. 

If you are known to sleep around while in a relationship, say that outright. That way, people know what they're getting. Honesty is the key, and without that? Relationships in general to collapse. Gay, straight, bisexual, polygamist, or monogamous. It doesn't matter.

[Sabre]

Actually, I think you're mistaking socialization with instinct which is one of the many failings of evolutionary psychology.  The women's choices, from taking a lot of time to focus on their physical appearance and trying to get a higher social status is a result of having those particular societies only giving those decisions.

An example is in my tribe where these roles were given different roles. The men were raised into the roles and expected to go into hunting, trading, and war where as the women were in charge of farming, owning the actual property, and maintaining the family. In fact, the clans were always ruled by women who made all the land and resource decisions for their clan.  Meanwhile, on the flipside the chiefs, made military decisions, trade agreements, and were the only ones allowed to represent at the Great Council. However, only the women could vote to determine who the representatives of their clan or the chief so they were expected to know politics as well as the men and chose those men on the basis of their knowledge. In fact, it was actually in some ways reverse - the men who came into that clan had to impress the woman in charge. If he was in that clan however, his choice of a woman was held with the same scrutiny where she was expected to be intelligent, able to give birth, and know what was going on in the tribe.

Overall, from society to society there are different standards for men and women.  And most of us were raised in a Western Society, where women have been given these expectations for all these years thus why they continue to go down these particular stereotypes. It's only been fairly recent they have been breaking the barriers but you cannot deny some of those expectations in the media  are portrayed today in America. ( Which hypes up the sexuality yet at the sametime we remain ridiculously prudish to see it 'sinful'. A contradictory lot we are. I've heard things are less of a contradiction so in parts of Europe though. )

That being said, I believe it's not only just women who marry men into money, but men to women, or... just people in general. It's person who does it, not necessarily the gender.

I think it is possible to hold a polygamist relationship and have it stable and still love the people, but it takes a lot of work, all of them to consent, and much patience. It in fact historically instigates social stability such as after the crusades or the Mormons traveling to Utah for various examples.  In fact, it could create an extended support network in said families. This is not saying all women are married to one men, but perhaps a woman can be married to two men and that man could be married to two women at the sametime.

That being said, this is not saying that you can just decide one day when you're feeling lewd and you cheat on your partner. Then to figuratively use a 'get out of jail free card' you want to claim that to be a polygamist even when you have no intention to stay to take care of said person you cheated with if they got pregnant/beaten up/money problems.  If a person wants to be in a monogamous relationship, and your lover pedals backwards saying they suddenly are polygamist ... just no. 

If you are known to sleep around while in a relationship, say that outright. That way, people know what they're getting. Honesty is the key, and without that? Relationships in general to collapse. Gay, straight, bisexual, polygamist, or monogamous. It doesn't matter.

True, but that doesn't change what I said before. The 2 are not exclusive. Even in your example, men are the hunters and fighters whereas women aren't. Thus protection and provisions. Infuence doesn't have to mean polatics as in goverment, but in any field. In your example, having special controls and inside info from, lets say the lead trader, would be advantagous in numberous ways, maybe including political.

Anyway, the point is that polyagamous relationships are advantagous and science and history backs up that claim.

[Guest DRL]

Anyway, the point is that polyagamous relationships are advantagous and science and history backs up that claim.

But economy and history prove it wrong.

Historically: Having more more than one wife

usually means more children, which in turns means

more heirs to your throne, resulting in more internal

conflicts. Not to mention that your cousing/brother/ect.

will also try to take your position when you die, effectively

increasing the internal conflicts.

Economically: More wifes means more mouths to feed.

Again that means more children (historically correct) and

that means even more mouths to feed.

Socially-Historically: Given the short lifespan of the human, it is

really hard to properly spent time with 'all' your wifes/husbands

with objectivizing them. This is true with the muslims, for example.

They were poligamous, and yet usually they had children with some

of their wifes and 'sex' with others.

[Sabre]

Historically: Having more more than one wife

usually means more children, which in turns means

more heirs to your throne, resulting in more internal

conflicts. Not to mention that your cousing/brother/ect.

will also try to take your position when you die, effectively

increasing the internal conflicts.

Which is part of the reason it was invented. Also more control over other inhertence like land, wealth ect.

Economically: More wifes means more mouths to feed.

Again that means more children (historically correct) and

that means even more mouths to feed.

Again, correct. In times of low supplies, many guys to one wife has the opposate effect.

Socially-Historically: Given the short lifespan of the human, it is

really hard to properly spent time with 'all' your wifes/husbands

with objectivizing them. This is true with the muslims, for example.

They were poligamous, and yet usually they had children with some

of their wifes and 'sex' with others.

I don't know about muslims, but I assume correct. How is sex different from children or love? Also, what does lifespan have to do with it?

[Guest Wes]

I've known my girlfriend for as long as I can remember, our relationship didn't get serious until I was 15, been goin' good ever since. We're not legally married yet.

[Guest DRL]

I don't know about muslims, but I assume correct. How is sex different from children or love? Also, what does lifespan have to do with it?

I meant sex in the sense you can

find on the streets. You do not do see

the female (or the male, if you are a

female) as your love, you see it as

someone to have sex with... as long

as you pay.

Lifespan has to do in a little way, more

kind of who you spent more time with.

So far even poligamous marriages had

a 'favourite(s)' who had priority of stuff

over others. E.g.: Their children had more

royal rights, ect. It is quite hard to explain

this point, but that is most of it.

I've known my girlfriend for as long as I can remember, our relationship didn't get serious until I was 15, been goin' good ever since. We're not legally married yet.

What the HYPER...?

[Guest Wes]

What the HYPER...?

We've known each other since we were small kids...

[Steve]

Sheesh, so many walls of text trying to follow what relationships and love are. To tell the truth, using "logic" really kills the whole sense of accomplishment and most girls (some guys too) hate that. We are humans, so we have more power to control ourselves when in comes to instincts.

Then we have the whole girl subject, not all girls go for the strongest, best looking, intelligent and richest guy around. The ones that are worth a shot won't exactly look for that, again, there's no logic for this, some just look for a funny guy to be around, others get attracted by a good cooker or someone that would seem to be caring and overall all around, and some just don't want to settle down, those will probably have a lot of friends with benefits, but then again, there are many, many types.

About the cheating thing, that happens on both ends, so I don't see the reason to discuss this, it's a whole psychological thing.

If I was a single dude going all over rules and logic like the ones we have seen here, I would seriously reconsider my standpoint  and then look , both internet and outside,  for someone that would keep up with my interests. Sure, there are many things that one must consider when it comes to love, but those are more common sense things than anything else. Everything else really plays a small part here, and most of the knowledge comes from experience and self realization, sadly, one must trip over to understand what's really going on.

And no, this is not "Disney" crap, if you are wondering.

[Guest DRL]

Sheesh, so many walls of text trying to follow what relationships and love are. To tell the truth, using "logic" really kills the whole sense of accomplishment and most girls (some guys too) hate that. We are humans, so we have more power to control ourselves when in comes to instincts.

Yes, I understand. However the whole

thing of 'poligamy is advantageous'

is rather... Wrong to me. Just that.

Then we have the whole girl subject, not all girls go for the strongest, best looking, intelligent and richest guy around. The ones that are worth a shot won't exactly look for that, again, there's no logic for this, some just look for a funny guy to be around, others get attracted by a good cooker or someone that would seem to be caring and overall all around, and some just don't want to settle down, those will probably have a lot of friends with benefits, but then again, there are many, many types.

About the cheating thing, that happens on both ends, so I don't see the reason to discuss this, it's a whole psychological thing.

If I was a single dude going all over rules and logic like the ones we have seen here, I would seriously reconsider my standpoint  and then look , both internet and outside,  for someone that would keep up with my interests. Sure, there are many things that one must consider when it comes to love, but those are more common sense things than anything else. Everything else really plays a small part here, and most of the knowledge comes from experience and self realization, sadly, one must trip over to understand what's really going on.

And no, this is not "Disney" crap, if you are wondering.

Apologies if I said anything about trying

to understand relationships or anything.

In fact, about myself, you can say I will

hardly, if ever, get a girlfriend. :(

[Steve]

Yes, I understand. However the whole

thing of 'poligamy is advantageous'

is rather... Wrong to me. Just that.Apologies if I said anything about trying

to understand relationships or anything.

In fact, about myself, you can say I will

hardly, if ever, get a girlfriend.

First, Polygamy is entitled to be socially wrong in most parts of the world, and I'm with you on that it's wrong, but that's just our personal opinions. I'd go as far as saying that polygamy is ok as long as there's no marriage involved and all the parties know what they are doing, this would fall more in the "friends with benefits" I think.

Second, thinking that you will never get a girlfriend will only make things worse. Looking for one like crazy is another bad idea. Sometimes you just need to be patient or a little bit more friendly with people around you.

Finally, I didn't want to contradict anyone, I merely meant what I said globally. Using logic and "biology" to understand love is certainly not the way to go. Trust me, been there, done that. 

[Guest DRL]

First, Polygamy is entitled to be socially wrong in most parts of the world, and I'm with you on that it's wrong, but that's just our personal opinions. I'd go as far as saying that polygamy is ok as long as there's no marriage involved and all the parties know what they are doing, this would fall more in the "friends with benefits" I think.

Agreed.

Finally, I didn't want to contradict anyone, I merely meant what I said globally. Using logic and "biology" to understand love is certainly not the way to go. Trust me, been there, done that. 

Agreed again.

Second, thinking that you will never get a girlfriend will only make things worse. Looking for one like crazy is another bad idea. Sometimes you just need to be patient or a little bit more friendly with people around you.

O-Kay... I will wait. :)

[Sabre]

First, Polygamy is entitled to be socially wrong in most parts of the world, and I'm with you on that it's wrong, but that's just our personal opinions. I'd go as far as saying that polygamy is ok as long as there's no marriage involved and all the parties know what they are doing, this would fall more in the "friends with benefits" I think.

Second, thinking that you will never get a girlfriend will only make things worse. Looking for one like crazy is another bad idea. Sometimes you just need to be patient or a little bit more friendly with people around you.

Finally, I didn't want to contradict anyone, I merely meant what I said globally. Using logic and "biology" to understand love is certainly not the way to go. Trust me, been there, done that.

If you want to be ultra cynical you could say that love is a trick to get you to do something. Much like hunger or tiredness. In case you're wondering, I don't buy into the whole 'humans are special' idea.

Anyway. The idea that monogamy and marrage are the only 'right' way to do things is the idea we were discoussing. Of course the disney and 1950s american dream are so engraned into peoples minds that can never let go, as we have just seen. What's annoiying is that it's a dogmatic cult enforced by law, but this is getting off topic.

Second, thinking that you will never get a girlfriend will only make things worse. Looking for one like crazy is another bad idea. Sometimes you just need to be patient or a little bit more friendly with people around you.

I'm calling bollocks there. Some of us are in enviroments where there are no women. It doesn't matter how paitent you are, there are no women here. The ONLY REALISTIC option is go make an effort to go out and about looking for people. 8 years of being around computers I have met a total or 4 women in none social settings. A drunk, a hyperactive annoiyance with a boyfriend and 2 bimbos. That's 1 woman every 2 years. All the other RL women I've met I have met at social events that I would much rather have avoided as I'd rather be at home playing games.

[Steve]

I'm calling bollocks there. Some of us are in enviroments where there are no women. It doesn't matter how paitent you are, there are no women here. The ONLY REALISTIC option is go make an effort to go out and about looking for people. 8 years of being around computers I have met a total or 4 women in none social settings. A drunk, a hyperactive annoiyance with a boyfriend and 2 bimbos. That's 1 woman every 2 years. All the other RL women I've met I have met at social events that I would much rather have avoided as I'd rather be at home playing games.

So are you going to give up and complain that you can't find a special person or are you going to simply live normally? which is, give yourself time to focus on other things rather than finding a needle in a haystack?

[Thu'um]

i wouldn't say give up. some people aren't happy in love

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Second, thinking that you will never get a girlfriend will only make things worse. Looking for one like crazy is another bad idea. Sometimes you just need to be patient or a little bit more friendly with people around you.

I agree, definitely be patient.  Being friendly with other people around you isn't a bad idea as well.  Personally, I try to be nice to some people, resist the urge to punch them in the face, and they still treat me like dirt, so I treat those same people like dung (I'm no doormat).  But I don't actively go around being mean to people, if some people are nice to me, I'm automatically nice[er] to those people. 

So are you going to give up and complain that you can't find a special person or are you going to simply live normally? which is, give yourself time to focus on other things rather than finding a needle in a haystack?

heh, nice.

[Kid_Cortet]

So are you going to give up and complain that you can't find a special person or are you going to simply live normally? which is, give yourself time to focus on other things rather than finding a needle in a haystack?

lol..agreed :)

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Who's that chick who sang "You can't hurry love"?. 

That song, the lyrics, the message it conveys....so...totally...brilliant!!

[Dermot]

Who's that chick who sang "You can't hurry love"?. 

That song, the lyrics, the message it conveys....so...totally...brilliant!!

Phil Collins. :trollface: