Love Life Talk

[Guest Julius Quasar]

I'm trying to comfort a friend of mine, his in-laws are tormenting him.  No physical abuse, just side insults, and excluding him, stuff like that.  His wife does stick up for hi, but it only helps a little.

I told him "Dude, don't feel bad.  If her family liked you, she probably wouldn't like you.  And in time, they'll accept or tolerate you.  If they don't, that's their problem"  He told me "You know, that's what my wife said".  I think it's generally correct.

[Thu'um]

I have a friend who asks a girl out. when he realy shouldn't. Usaly it's with people he insults and makes fun of, the realation ships arn't very good. And while he is going out with one girl he flirsts with another, dumps the other one and goes out with the other one. Then repeat the cycle. Makes me so mad at him!

[Arashikage]

I'm trying to comfort a friend of mine, his in-laws are tormenting him.  No physical abuse, just side insults, and excluding him, stuff like that.  His wife does stick up for hi, but it only helps a little.

I told him "Dude, don't feel bad.  If her family liked you, she probably wouldn't like you.  And in time, they'll accept you.  If they don't, that's their problem"  He told me "You know, that's what my wife said".  I think it's generally correct.

Well, it's great to know that people are willing to help others out with their problems with their inlaws.  Warms my heart

I have a friend who asks a girl out. when he realy shouldn't. Usaly it's with people he insults and makes fun of, the realation ships arn't very good. And while he is going out with one girl he flirsts with another, dumps the other one and goes out with the other one. Then repeat the cycle. Makes me so mad at him!

This on the other hand, doesn't.  I think you should tell him that this kind of behavior shows extreme immaturity and if he's going to do that, he's missing the point of a relationship.  Now I understand if you don't want to tell him, but that's what I'd do

[Thu'um]

This on the other hand, doesn't.  I think you should tell him that this kind of behavior shows extreme immaturity and if he's going to do that, he's missing the point of a relationship.  Now I understand if you don't want to tell him, but that's what I'd do

He kinda hates me( it;s a silent thing) but we act like we are friends. he still flirts with girls he dumps, and i like one of them so he hates me now.  Stupid right? But yeah he kinda just uses a girl till he gets bored.

[Arashikage]

He kinda hates me( it;s a silent thing) but we act like we are friends. he still flirts with girls he dumps, and i like one of them so he hates me now.  Stupid right? But yeah he kinda just uses a girl till he gets bored.

Now that's just wrong.  A girl is a person too, and people who can't get that through their heads shouldn't be talking to them... Once again, my opinion

[Thu'um]

He isn't my favorite person, it gets my blood boiling just listing to him talk to girls he has dumped.

[Sabre]

Question. How well should you know someone before asking them out? I know the default answer would be "Very well" but having seen people get a bf/gf on the internet (this forum for example) seems against that because even my best internet friends I consider people I barely know. Hell, I don't even know their real names.

[Steve]

Question. How well should you know someone before asking them out? I know the default answer would be "Very well" but having seen people get a bf/gf on the internet (this forum for example) seems against that because even my best internet friends I consider people I barely know. Hell, I don't even know their real names.

If you want to follow the safe way (from my point of view anyways), try a couple of months. It's all about taking risks. While getting to know someone has it's perks, not asking soon would mean that someone else could take that boat before you. I would say, on the long run, getting to know someone, before stepping in, is the best choice, because you have a reference and you kinda know what to expect. Also, do inquire  about knowing  real facts if you are going for someone around the internet.

I waited for almost one year to take the next step, and almost 1 year after that to take the "from internet to real life relationship" step.

[fox1235]

hm, my school is small so i know most everything that is going on, but i don't realy keep tract off this stuff. Why don' you ask one of your friends is he knows anything.

Unfortunely my school is huge and all my close friends aren't in classes with me. I know one of her friends so I might ask her. But I don't know if I should or not because girls and promise me not to tell anyones don't mix here usually.

[Asper Sarnoff]

As things are looking up, it seems I'll be spending this Christmas with my girlfriend and her family. Needless to say I've never looked more foreward to anything?

[Sarita]

As things are looking up, it seems I'll be spending this Christmas with my girlfriend and her family. Needless to say I've never looked more foreward to anything?

I wish we had out Christmas plans straightened out. ): We're still trying to figure out if I'm spending Christmas with his family (for the first time, I wanna do this), or if he's spending time with my family, for the 3rd time (Which is what he wants to do, since his parents are having issues) ARGH. ):

Being in a relationship where airplanes get involved is sometimes no fun. xD

[fox1235]

Question. How well should you know someone before asking them out? I know the default answer would be "Very well" but having seen people get a bf/gf on the internet (this forum for example) seems against that because even my best internet friends I consider people I barely know. Hell, I don't even know their real names.

I'm having the same problem with the girl I like, know her name but barely anything to talk to her about.

[Sapphire]

It's actually more complicated than that. See, from how people are today, you just can't really trust a guy who you don't even know with a pretty girl in a very dark room. It's just not right. Even though it was just her friend. And I'm NOT saying that I don't think she should have guy friends, I'm k with that. But it's when they go to places where a certain opportunity is available. I just didn't see it right. Please don't think of this as me thinking I didn't want her to have guy friends. I think it's perfectly fine to have guy friends, it's just teenagers have wild horomones, you can agree with me on that right? Okay well, if you're in a room that's like super dark with a pretty guy/girl, don't you sit there and tell me that you're not gonna have that chance, and that the idea isn't gonna pop up in your head.

PLUS, I only got to see her like once a week, IF I was lucky. SO there's another good reason why I broke up with her.

But anyways, I'm WAY happier with Payton than I've ever been with another girl I get to see her everyday! And we just fit together like a puzzle. She's perfect for me and I'm perfect for her

And something I always tell her...."eye wub ooo" lol try to figure that one out Julius ;)

[FoxMcCloud]

I can see with what you are saying rob, and your concerns. But there is always a certain amount of trust in relationships. You have to trust her that she will not do anything that would harm your relationship with her, and she has to trust you to do the same.

I can see what you mean by wild hormones and stuff, but If I was in a dark room, sure the idea would be in my head, but I would be as nervous as hell to do so lol 

Also its glad to see your back :D

[Arashikage]

Okay, so I tried to find Gretchen today at 2nd period, but I couldn't find her...   Maybe I should ask my friend where she goes tomorrow?  Hopefully I can get to talk to her tomorrow and she won't think I'm a stalker

["User"]

*Can't believes what he missed over the weekend*

- I told her that it was okay to do it, although I believed that she would realize how WRONG it was.

I fail to see how this in itself is wrong unless he's doing it for obvious romantic reasons or what not.  If I was in a relationship and my GF told me I couldn't see movies with other girls who were only "friends" that I've known for a while already I'd get annoyed.   Like others have said, trust plays a large role in a relationship but do you have any proof that she has betrayed your trust instead of just mere speculation?  If not then, in my opinion, it's not a "good" reason to break up and, even though I know you have the best intentions, it really sounds like you are being overprotective. What did you say when you told her about your concerns?  If she said something like:  "Oh, nothing bad will happen, don't worry" then I'd think that that would be assurance enough."

- I was jealous, but I didn't want to tell her that because I didn't want her to get mad at me

Why would she get mad at you for expressing your heartfelt concerns to her?  Unless you've done this several times in the past over the same general issue and it's been annoyance to her on the contrary I'd be happy to listen to my significant others concerns.

- I got sick the day we broke up. She was mad at me because i was being protective for her, you can't really trust guys these days with pretty girls

- So we broke up

I'm sorry it ended like this.  Might I make a suggestion for next time?  You need to give GF's a little bit more leeway when it comes to hanging around with her other friends.  Like what has already been mentioned, trust is a big factor in relationships.

-We eventually hooked up, and we've been dating for 2 weeks and a day, and there hasn't been a fight or arguement yet

Rarely do legitimate fights/arguments in the first two weeks of a relationship when the lovey dovey factor is quite high

-She's everything I've ever wanted in a girlfriend:

  *She's beautiful

  *She's in the same religion

  *She's younger than me

  *She's so freakin nice it's scary

  *She also enjoys video games

  *Not to girly

Good to see that you've found someone who, hopefully, you can build on more than with your previous experiences.

Wait a second wait a second wait a second!

I'm still back on Robcot!  It is totally not okay to try and control who another person spends there time with. You don't like the fact that she has guy friends? Tough. She has every reason to be angry at you for something like that.

I'm in agreement with Fira about this.  One of my ex's had some really good male friends and while it did kind of bother me at first after a little while I realized that they were just that - friends, and nothing more.  My ex's didn't mind if I had other female friends as well because really...being in a relationship does not mean you restrict who your friends are - regardless of gender. 

I forgot about this! I definitely agree with you, though. But I think in his case she got mad at him for being jealous? Unless I read that wrong.

Overprotective apparently, which I can easily see as annoying to females.

PLUS, I only got to see her like once a week, IF I was lucky. SO there's another good reason why I broke up with her.

I'm going to have to strongly object to this being a good reason to break up with anyone.

But anyways, I'm WAY happier with Payton than I've ever been with another girl I get to see her everyday! And we just fit together like a puzzle. She's perfect for me and I'm perfect for her

No offense but....didn't you say something along these lines with your past GF's as well?  I wouldn't throw out things like this until I've been with the girl for a significant period of time - otherwise it sounds really premature.

[Sapphire]

^ You just love finding my bald spots don't ya User? lol

Yes. I am overprotective But I kinda like being that way I just dont wanna loose a girlfriend like that.

And guys, I do have to say, you did get me on the trust part BUT I said (Or meant to say) that I didn't trust the guy she was with.

And yes User, I have said that with past girlfriends, BUT the girl I'm with now meets all of my needs for the perfect girl, I mean seriously guys. Others haven't really met those needs, Jessi lived 100 miles away, Ariel was 18, Rebecca was a gangster, Jamie was a slut, Bre wasn't a virgin, should I go on? :lol:

["User"]

^ You just love finding my bald spots don't ya User? lol

That's my job in matters of love.

Yes. I am overprotective But I kinda like being that way I just dont wanna loose a girlfriend like that.

But didn't you just imply that being too overprotective was one of the reasons why she got annoyed by it and as a result you two broke up?

And guys, I do have to say, you did get me on the trust part BUT I said (Or meant to say) that I didn't trust the guy she was with.

Fair enough.

Bre wasn't a virgin, should I go on?

While being a virgin might be a positive thing and preferred it's by no means a reason NOT to date someone solely for that.  I mean, imagine you lost your virginity to a girl who you've known for a year or so and thought you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her only to break up later and regret it and promise NEVER to make that mistake again.  Now what if some girl comes along who you love more than anyone else and she won't marry you or date you because you are not a virgin.  How would that make you feel?

[Fluxy]

Bre wasn't a virgin, should I go on?

I am gonna have to say, put yourself in her shoes then. If you wouldn't date someone for that reason, then what if the day comes you decide to give your virginity away to someone. What then? If it doesn't work out with that girl, no matter how much you think it would, wouldn't it devastate you to realize that one choice ruined your chance at ever being married? I am not attacking by any means, but just when I hear those cases, especially when coming from guys, it makes me think of how hypocritical they are being.

And yeah. I would give much more time before thinking everything is fine and gonna work out. You have been having too many "serious" relationships within the school year, and it has only been a good 2-2.5 months.

[Sapphire]

Haha, I enjoy arguing with you guys (Nick and User)

Well, I knew you guys would point that out, but look, I'm just one of those people who look at girls differently, according to their virginity, I'm not making this a bad thing, but i found out that I CARE if the current girl I'm dating at the time is a virgin or not, when Bre told me I about got sick and broke down. I'm honestly not too sure why, but ever since then I care if the girl is a virgin or not.

[Sabre]

I wish we had out Christmas plans straightened out. ): We're still trying to figure out if I'm spending Christmas with his family (for the first time, I wanna do this), or if he's spending time with my family, for the 3rd time (Which is what he wants to do, since his parents are having issues) ARGH. ):

Being in a relationship where airplanes get involved is sometimes no fun. xD

Christmas with a family is no fun at all. Once you learn the truth about santa christmas is no fun. I guess I just hate force family meet ups anyway. Funerals, Weddings, Birthdays, they are all bad bad bad.

I'm having the same problem with the girl I like, know her name but barely anything to talk to her about.

What if it turned out we liked the same person? We would have to fight to the death. I'd win probley.

Haha, I enjoy arguing with you guys (Nick and User)

Well, I knew you guys would point that out, but look, I'm just one of those people who look at girls differently, according to their virginity, I'm not making this a bad thing, but i found out that I CARE if the current girl I'm dating at the time is a virgin or not, when Bre told me I about got sick and broke down. I'm honestly not too sure why, but ever since then I care if the girl is a virgin or not.

You are scum.

[Sapphire]

You are scum.

I love you too Sabre :D

[Steve]

Haha, I enjoy arguing with you guys (Nick and User)

Well, I knew you guys would point that out, but look, I'm just one of those people who look at girls differently, according to their virginity, I'm not making this a bad thing, but i found out that I CARE if the current girl I'm dating at the time is a virgin or not, when Bre told me I about got sick and broke down. I'm honestly not too sure why, but ever since then I care if the girl is a virgin or not.

Well, first of all, like user said, no one is perfect, there's also a chance you will end up doing the same, and I'm sure you would not like to be turned down just because a mistake/hormones/past relationship didn't work. However, if you turn down a person, because you think she might have "a lot of friends with benefits" then sure, go for it, RUN. The path of love is also a path of self-discovery, as you travel, you will end up knowing more things about youself than you knew before the relationship.

  Virginity is more of a young taboo around people, and there's a big difference about being a "slut/manwhore" and "normal guy/gal with past partners". When you get older, the option of "needs to be 'sacred'" will become slimmer and slimmer, soo try to reconsider your standpoint. However, the teenager years are full of fun self-discovering and re-discovering yourslef  soo good luck with your relationship.

[Milkyway64]

Haha, I enjoy arguing with you guys (Nick and User)

Well, I knew you guys would point that out, but look, I'm just one of those people who look at girls differently, according to their virginity, I'm not making this a bad thing, but i found out that I CARE if the current girl I'm dating at the time is a virgin or not, when Bre told me I about got sick and broke down. I'm honestly not too sure why, but ever since then I care if the girl is a virgin or not.

I'm not going to repeat Sabre, but your reasoning is shallow, petty bullshit that makes me happy some people don't find happy relationships. Get the fuck over yourself and get a little maturity, THEN try to mess with this relationship thing. Until then you deserve any misery they cause you.

That is all.

[Fira-Astrali]

Question. How well should you know someone before asking them out? I know the default answer would be "Very well" but having seen people get a bf/gf on the internet (this forum for example) seems against that because even my best internet friends I consider people I barely know. Hell, I don't even know their real names.

Well, I would say a couple months, and just because it's over internet, doesn't mean you'll go into it knowing nothing. Asper and I had a four month conversation just about random topics before we decided to try out this dating thing. I think after 4 months of talking every single day, you get to know a person pretty well ^^;

Christmas with a family is no fun at all. Once you learn the truth about santa christmas is no fun. I guess I just hate force family meet ups anyway. Funerals, Weddings, Birthdays, they are all bad bad bad.

Ah, but you've never had Christmas with MY family! Asper is in for a fun time! Especially if he stays for New Year's :3

Haha, I enjoy arguing with you guys (Nick and User)

Well, I knew you guys would point that out, but look, I'm just one of those people who look at girls differently, according to their virginity, I'm not making this a bad thing, but i found out that I CARE if the current girl I'm dating at the time is a virgin or not, when Bre told me I about got sick and broke down. I'm honestly not too sure why, but ever since then I care if the girl is a virgin or not.

Oh, but the road runs both ways, right? If you lose it to someone that isn't your lifepartner to be, that means that a girl that you really like can turn you down for that and you would completely understand?

As things are looking up, it seems I'll be spending this Christmas with my girlfriend and her family. Needless to say I've never looked more foreward to anything?

Cat out of the bag, you stinker!!!

hehehe, just kidding ^^ Now, instead of counting months until i see you, I'm counting days! Dammit I'm so excited!!!! ^^