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Sapphire

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Lol wait, that definately wasn't supposed to sound the way it did ^^; I got my brains out of my butt and ended up with a good guy in the end :D

I thought you ended up with asper? :P

I was talking about this one person that I liked for a time. When I first met him, I thought he was smart and polite, and he played guitar, which i thought was cool bc i'm a fairly musical person. The more I got to know him tho, the stupider and more immature I realized he was. He turned out to be literally the complete opposite of the type of person that I thought he was.

Don't get me started on gits with musical instruments. Although you do mention one reason I believe I always disappoint. If someone finds one character trait appealing, let's say my raw strength, any display of softness would disappoint. Hard to explain without getting into specifics which I'm not willing to, but I think you get the idea.

Also, as you've heard, my frist boyfriend wasn't really a prize either. And if you consider the fact that people all the time ignore really really bad traits in a partner because they like them, I've come to the conclusion that what you say happens, probably happens way more than I've given you credit for, considering the fact that I've done it myself.

Not sure if I wanted to admit this and give you more fuel, but there it is :P That is also not to say that just bc a girl ends up with an asshole, she won't eventually realize he is an asshole. That's sort of what dating is all about, being with someone you like until your either realize he is a massive jerk and leave him, or until you decide that whatever it is about him that you don't agree with isn't a big enough of a problem to be a deal-breaker.

You know what, I can't recall I time when they left, or in the rare occations they did they hopped into the arms of another arse. In my exp, they will go to any lengths, even delusional ones to stay with their idiot of a bf.

Although a bit personal, I do wonder what you consider deal breakers and not deal breakers.

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Not sure if I wanted to admit this and give you more fuel, but there it is :P That is also not to say that just bc a girl ends up with an asshole, she won't eventually realize he is an asshole. That's sort of what dating is all about, being with someone you like until your either realize he is a massive jerk and leave him, or until you decide that whatever it is about him that you don't agree with isn't a big enough of a problem to be a deal-breaker.

But that only means this hypothetical girl is completely oblivious to the kind of jerk her guy is. And then you have the rest of us guys who actually want a real relationship, and don't think they are "THE MAN", wondering what good qualities this girl could possibly see in this jerk. If they present all their bad qualities in public and any (if any) good qualities while in a relationship....oh who am I kidding? This arguement is going in circles...

It's just that I get so frustrated with how girls could fall for guy after guy with the exact same characteristics and flaws...and somehow not realize that they won't ever find every single thing they want in a man (being both physical attributes AND who they are on the inside) Yet they keep falling into this "good looks" or "he's a nice guy" mental trap. They forget about the simple things like respect and patience that make up who these people are as human beings. Of course, I'm not saying the most sociable guys are necessarily the biggest jerks, just, a little bit of common sense wouldn't hurt.

Sabre said:

"If someone finds one character trait appealing, let's say my raw strength, any display of softness would disappoint."

Agreed 100%. And to add to this, let's look at the example of a girl who dosen't stick to one thing that interests her in a guy. One moment, they say they love how considerate and open-minded, and calm-natured this guy is, then suddenly they turn around and call the guy scrawny. That's messed up. For no good reason a relationship becomes more complicated and starts falling apart.

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Wait Ajcx, weren't you just talking about a different girl named "puja"? How did lucy suddenly come about?

puka and me were barley friends, i said i didn't no if i had feelings for here yet. lucy is old news though

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But that only means this hypothetical girl is completely oblivious to the kind of jerk her guy is. And then you have the rest of us guys who actually want a real relationship, and don't think they are "THE MAN", wondering what good qualities this girl could possibly see in this jerk. If they present all their bad qualities in public and any (if any) good qualities while in a relationship....oh who am I kidding? This arguement is going in circles...

Well, just because he turns out to be a jerk doesn't mean its obvious in the beginning. Maybe he does some things she doesn't like, but they can get past it, but then it gets to be too much.

OR! which is more often the case, he starts the relationship ACTING like a nice guy, but after awhile shows his true colours.

maybe your not "the man", you don't know. there are so many factors that you dont control over relationships

It's just that I get so frustrated with how girls could fall for guy after guy with the exact same characteristics and flaws...and somehow not realize that they won't ever find every single thing they want in a man (being both physical attributes AND who they are on the inside) Yet they keep falling into this "good looks" or "he's a nice guy" mental trap. They forget about the simple things like respect and patience that make up who these people are as human beings. Of course, I'm not saying the most sociable guys are necessarily the biggest jerks, just, a little bit of common sense wouldn't hurt.

well, i think its possible to find a guy with all the things you want, but he will also always come with things you don't want. those are the things that either turn him into a jerk, or things that you shrug off for the other good parts of him. You also forget that its partly psychological. Women look for guys that are like their fathers, so if her dad is a 'jerk' is apparently statistically more likely that her partner will be a 'jerk'

you also forget that jerk is subjective, you might think he's a jerk, but her idea of a bad guy might be different from yours

Sabre said:

"If someone finds one character trait appealing, let's say my raw strength, any display of softness would disappoint."

Agreed 100%. And to add to this, let's look at the example of a girl who dosen't stick to one thing that interests her in a guy. One moment, they say they love how considerate and open-minded, and calm-natured this guy is, then suddenly they turn around and call the guy scrawny. That's messed up. For no good reason a relationship becomes more complicated and starts falling apart.

maybe he is scrawny. maybe she mentions it, that's not really a big deal in a functional relationship. that's like if i talk about how sweet and caring Asper is, and then one day i say he's annoying because he's been teasing me like mad, that doesn't complicate or jeperdize our relationship in any way shape of form. He calls me a whimp sometimes, that doesn't complicate our relationship either.

When it does become a big deal, is if your relationship is already dysfunctional and therefore you are saying these things maliciously. At that point, the odd jab is probably more a symptom than a cause.

And i haven't ignored what you said about wondering about my dealbreakers sabre, im just wondering if that needs to be a public or private message

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OR! which is more often the case, he starts the relationship ACTING like a nice guy, but after awhile shows his true colours.

This part I have issue with. Someone once told me that the reason women don't like nice guys is because they are hiding something, which makes sence if what you say is true. But then why run from the real nice guys, and go with obvious fake? We all (or at least I) heard "You're a nice guy but-", so that explaination doesn't stand. Sorry.

And i haven't ignored what you said about wondering about my dealbreakers sabre, im just wondering if that needs to be a public or private message

or not at all. As a rule, if you dont want people to know, dont put it on the internet. Even with friends. Example. I would respond to-

"i think its possible to find a guy with all the things you want, but he will also always come with things you don't want. "

but it's not a matter I'm willing to discuss with anyone, so it's best left buried. It's better to drop the subject then to destroy yourself. If there is doubt, let it go. Nothing is that important.

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After waiting for 2 months, I've come to the conclusion that she's not coming back. To avoid avoid an awkward situation if she came back, I gave a message to her closest contact that I had... Contact to.

Anyway I'm single now, maybe I'll have to make smarter choices in finding a GF. Or maybe I'm better off being single, who knows.

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This part I have issue with. Someone once told me that the reason women don't like nice guys is because they are hiding something, which makes sence if what you say is true. But then why run from the real nice guys, and go with obvious fake? We all (or at least I) heard "You're a nice guy but-", so that explaination doesn't stand. Sorry.

what do you mean that explaination doesn't stand? that's the reason that my first boyfriend and I broke up. I'd known him for years and he'd always been a nice person to me, but when we'd been dating for awhile, things began to change. People acti differently after you have been personal with them for awhile, you learn things about them they usually keep hidden. You start dating people for what they present to you on the surface, and then eventually you get to what's underneath, and sometimes what's there is too much to be able to deal with. Sometimes you see your partner at their worst and its not okay.

not all "nice guys" are hiding something, obviously, not even nasty guys are hiding something sometimes. Sometimes things just come up when your with someone for a long time.

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It doesn't stand because women always, without fail, given the option between 'the real deal' and 'bloody obvious fake' have, in my exp, always gone with the obvious fake while at the same time claiming that the nice guy is to nice or that he's hiding something. Given those commonly used excuses I don't believe that women are falling for the deception of him being nice. Deception of other kinds, perhaps, but not that he appeared to be nice.

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After waiting for 2 months, I've come to the conclusion that she's not coming back. To avoid avoid an awkward situation if she came back, I gave a message to her closest contact that I had... Contact to.

Anyway I'm single now, maybe I'll have to make smarter choices in finding a GF. Or maybe I'm better off being single, who knows.

Aww, lame. :( Have no fear! She clearly wasn't the one for you. :)

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Well, lucy is a little disappointed that I'm a catholic, she wants me to be a baptist. she isn't pushing me to toward it to much but....i really do love my faith.

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Well, lucy is a little disappointed that I'm a catholic, she wants me to be a baptist. she isn't pushing me to toward it to much but....i really do love my faith.

Ah, the old different religious beliefs dilemma. Your best bet is to politely stand your ground.

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Ah, the old different religious beliefs dilemma. Your best bet is to politely stand your ground.

I would have used the "Why would a loving god do this" angle but I'm not a religious man.

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Well, lucy is a little disappointed that I'm a catholic, she wants me to be a baptist. she isn't pushing me to toward it to much but....i really do love my faith.

Never let anyone change your faith. If she wants you to change, then she clearly doesn't care about how you feel.

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Never let anyone change your faith. If she wants you to change, then she clearly doesn't care about how you feel.

^ this. However, in her mind, she's probably just trying to save you. That's what a friend of mine tried to do. But seriously, she needs to respect your faith, and you hers.

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Errr, well thanks you guys, but its not like she Felt i needed to become baptist, she'd just rather see me every sunday. But i told her i am quite happy with my faith and felt close to god.

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  • 2 weeks later...

On reflection I just dumped the girl of my dreams. I'm such an IDIOT!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't know what to do... There's this girl I like but I'm retarded about girls. I don't know what to say or how to say it, I tried talking to her but I don't think she's interested...

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You're trying too hard. Ask yourself, what are her interests? What are your interests? If you have similar interests, how can you find an opportunity to start talking to her about those interests? Make a joke about it and hope you don't look like an idiot.

On the other hand, she could be a shallow individual who is simply too busy paying attention to the way someone looks. But that's just me being negative, as usual.

Does she talk to other guys? Maybe she already has a bf. I'm almost out of ideas. Just don't show her you want her attention that badly, you'll look desperate. Relax, tensing up only hurts your poise. Be genuine in your actions. In other words, don't act in a way that makes you look like something your not.

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I need better fashion. Skinny jeans. That's all I need.

But seriously,I like this chick...a lot...I talk to her sometimes...HOW THE HELL DO I GET FURTHER! WTF?

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I need better fashion. Skinny jeans. That's all I need.

But seriously,I like this chick...a lot...I talk to her sometimes...HOW THE HELL DO I GET FURTHER! WTF?

lol skinny jeans, i need a picture of that......on seconed thought, not

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lol skinny jeans, i need a picture of that......on seconed thought, not

ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS COCK BLOCKED ME!

That's horrible...

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Glover%20%5BU%5D%20%5BSLUS-00890%5D-fron

I hope this horrible game was the object next to you that you smashed! :P

Glover = Devil Spawn

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