The fine art of subtext

[Dermot]

Okay, still trying to figure this out in a specifically undramatic fashion.

How does one speak, say what they mean, without seeming to imply more subtext than they intend?  Being autistic, I'm very bad at managing my subtext.  Basically, I just try to say what I mean, and no more than that.  I mean, there's context...and then there's subtext.  I know what subtext is - I just don't know how to say things in such a way that other people don't see additional subtext that I never intended in the first place.  Sometimes when this perceived subtext goes full circle and I hear about it, I can be quite surprised at the impressions I gave people.  I suppose this is the problem of human beings not being mind-readers. X3

Well, any thoughts? :3

[Robert Monroe]

When typing, its hard. Usually it can be avoided by putting in loads and loads of details and making massive walls of text, but even then its not totally reliable.

In person, tone of voice goes a long way. Maintaining a neutral tone allows you to speak your peace without giving the feeling of irritation, self righteousness, smugness, or whatever.

[Dermot]

When typing, its hard. Usually it can be avoided by putting in loads and loads of details and making massive walls of text, but even then its not totally reliable.

In person, tone of voice goes a long way. Maintaining a neutral tone allows you to speak your peace without giving the feeling of irritation, self righteousness, smugness, or whatever.

Hmm...that is true, tone is hard to convey digitally.

[Sabre]

Right. From what I understand (I'm autistic too) it's all about tone and body language, stuff we don't pick up on. Small talk is all about that. What you say isn't important, it's tone, manner, and number of 'strokes'.

Also, using certain words and terms imply subtext. Let's take you 'No Comment' comment before. When people really have no comment, they keep quiet. When you say that, you imply something that everyone is thinking. There is a joke where you add "if you know what I mean" to the end of any sentence to imply sex. for example

"I saw your sister in town, if you know what I mean."

"I fell down the stairs, if you know what I mean."

ect ect ect.

As such, leaving blank, open words is a bad idea.

Also, say what you did, not how you did it.

"I ate an icecream" has no subtext

"I licked an icecream" carries a sexual subtext.

If you are having issues with a particular subtext, let me know and we can try and deconstruct it.

[Dermot]

Well, I've heard some of the impressions, but without knowing what it was I originally said that faciliated them.  I've been hesistant to list examples publicly, since I don't want to risk dredging up drama or the appearance of drama.  I think we can all agree on the wisdom of trying to steer away from drama. :3

[Sabre]

Might be worth watching these. Great videos on the basics on Transaction Analysis. Not really related to subtext, but might be usful.

[Steve]

I consider myself a man of words, not a man of speech. I often get into a lot of laughs with my classmates because I suddenly make a pun or something that carries a subtext without knowing, I guess it's mostly because I'm a complete newbie in that area, I say what I think, not knowing it might have hidden meanings for others.

[Guest Julius Quasar]

I'm not sure where I stand in this... :facepalm:

[Robert Monroe]

Holy shit.

Sabre and Dermot getting along and working together.

[Sabre]

Image link is broken.

Also you're right. I guess I should insult him in some way.

...I can't think of any decent insults. I need a bloody stupid claim to do serve as an insult delivery system.

Plus, the problem is one we share, and despite his age I seem to be more experienced here, but not more understanding.

[Dermot]

Image link is broken.

Also you're right. I guess I should insult him in some way.

...I can't think of any decent insults. I need a bloody stupid claim to do serve as an insult delivery system.

Plus, the problem is one we share, and despite his age I seem to be more experienced here, but not more understanding.

Well, I have observed that a lot of autistic people I've encountered turn out to be asperger syndrome.  Though that is a form of autism, I am not asperger's.  I am sub-asperger's (full-blown autistic), but still high-functioning.

[Kursed]

the main poblem in text is you can't really hear any tone or see body language that tells the mood of the person while he or she is typing therefor it's reallly hard to interpret emotions over text.

[Dermot]

the main poblem in text is you can't really hear any tone or see body language that tells the mood of the person while he or she is typing therefor it's reallly hard to interpret emotions over text.

Actually, this makes a lot of sense.  My mom has said it over the years too.  This is something that transcends autism and neurotypicality - the lack of human body language over a digital medium.  Though I'm guessing there are at least some ways that neurotypicals compensate for this, at least partially.

[Star Fox Runner]

I consider myself a man of words, not a man of speech. I often get into a lot of laughs with my classmates because I suddenly make a pun or something that carries a subtext without knowing, I guess it's mostly because I'm a complete newbie in that area, I say what I think, not knowing it might have hidden meanings for others.

That happens to me constantly, I say something without realizing I've carried a subtext with it, my friends suddenly all look at me with stupid grins on their faces and then I realize what I just said sounded wrong, without intending it to.

This is the reason I'm sometimes afraid to talk to some of my friends of the opposite gender. lol

the main poblem in text is you can't really hear any tone or see body language that tells the mood of the person while he or she is typing therefor it's reallly hard to interpret emotions over text.

I've actually seen plenty of arguments break out on this site just for that reason. Someone says something as a joke, but because they can't inflect tone or body language, the reader takes it as an insult, and the drama starts.

[Robert Monroe]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF screw you imageshack you have betrayed me.

[Kursed]

i was seriously expecting a  start of a debate there Robert hi-five for suprizing me.

[Robert Monroe]

i was seriously expecting a  start of a debate there Robert hi-five for suprizing me.

I've already said my peace earlier in the topic. Living with a sister who may or may not have Asberger's, I'm pretty familiar with how these things rolls.

[Sabre]

I have a pet peeve about self diagnosis. I have seen to many people to do to be trendy or because they are unlikable idiots who want an excuse for not having friends.

[Dermot]

I'm formally diagnosed, and I've had the same professional autism therapist since 1995.

[Robert Monroe]

I have a pet peeve about self diagnosis. I have seen to many people to do to be trendy or because they are unlikable idiots who want an excuse for not having friends.

Self diagnosis aren't.

That said, my sister has been medically reviewed.

[Guest Julius Quasar]

the main poblem in text is you can't really hear any tone or see body language that tells the mood of the person while he or she is typing therefor it's reallly hard to interpret emotions over text.

That happens to me constantly, I say something without realizing I've carried a subtext with it, my friends suddenly all look at me with stupid grins on their faces and then I realize what I just said sounded wrong, without intending it to.

This is the reason I'm sometimes afraid to talk to some of my friends of the opposite gender. lol

I've actually seen plenty of arguments break out on this site just for that reason. Someone says something as a joke, but because they can't inflect tone or body language, the reader takes it as an insult, and the drama starts.

I agree on both of those!