An american tale, Asper's travel.

[CrypticQuery]

^Awesome! Yeah, America is definitely a car country, and also an asshole driver country too! :lol:

[DZComposer]

Yeah, mass transit in the US was forsaken back in the 1940s and 1950s. Everyone wanted a car, and some political corruption came into the mix, so many mass transit systems were canceled or destroyed, IE LA's streetcars. Not surprisingly, LA now has the worst traffic problems in the country.

Having a car in this country can be hell, though. Try driving in New York City or Los Angeles. Since the 1980s, highway infrastructure has been neglected, so in many cities, the traffic is getting exponentially worse. At least NYC has one of the best transit systems in the country, so you don't need a car there. LA, on the other hand....

We may be a car country, but our idiot corrupt politicians seem to think public roads are "Socialism" and thus evil.

Here in Texas there has been an explosion in toll road construction, and no traffic benefits from it.

Austin, for instance, has gnarly traffic. There are only two highways going north/south, and they get really jammed. There is no real loop either. Instead of building one, they put toll roads all over the place that no one uses because they are expensive to drive on.

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Yeah, mass transit in the US was forsaken back in the 1940s and 1950s. Everyone wanted a car, and some political corruption came into the mix, so many mass transit systems were canceled or destroyed, IE LA's streetcars. Not surprisingly, LA now has the worst traffic problems in the country.

Having a car in this country can be hell, though. Try driving in New York City or Los Angeles. Since the 1980s, highway infrastructure has been neglected, so in many cities, the traffic is getting exponentially worse. At least NYC has one of the best transit systems in the country, so you don't need a car there. LA, on the other hand....

We may be a car country, but our idiot corrupt politicians seem to think public roads are "Socialism" and thus evil.

Here in Texas there has been an explosion in toll road construction, and no traffic benefits from it.

Austin, for instance, has gnarly traffic. There are only two highways going north/south, and they get really jammed. There is no real loop either. Instead of building one, they put toll roads all over the place that no one uses because they are expensive to drive on.

I hear ya', DZ.

San Francisco's "BART" and cable cars are the last American bastion to what we once had in terms of public transportation...RIP Streetcars of America.

(DZ) "What a dump!" (talking about Cali's roads)

(Julius) "I hear ya', Slippy..."

[Asper Sarnoff]

Okay, I'm really going to have to get finished with this, if I am ever to get done.

Day 5: Shopping with the girls... OHNOES!!!

Well, this day was originally meant to be a little relaxing. Heh, that doesn't really happen around Inga. Scott going to teach some saxophone lessons, and I was to be with the girls. First of, we headed out to a local vineyard right out of town. It was a really nice place, and after having tested absolutely every single make of wine they had in stock (I didn't. Teetotaler, and they needed someone sober to watch over them.), they ended up with I think at least four bottles.

Then, it was time for another sort of shopping. Namely shopping for dresses... As all proper men can testify, this is a science that we know nothing about. So I did my very best to just smile, carry their shopping, and watch to see if I could understand anything out of it at all. Imagine it as a wildlife documentary. "The dresses gather by the waterhole, unknowing of the dangers creeping on them from the thick undergrowth. Then, the women leaps out of the bushes and go for the dresses throats!"

Actually, I did at some point actually manage to pick a dress for Inga, which she bought. How it happened, I'm still not sure of. Imagine it was something like she looking trough a rack of heavily discounted, but previously very expensive dresses, complaining they were all to formal to wear for someone without any weddings or other special occasions in sight. I then resorted to pull out a green and blue one, with various prints of animal skin on it and floating into each another. Think there was leopards, snakes, tigers, stuff like that. Well, it was meant mostly as a joke. "Hey! Look at this weird dress!". Turned out she liked it rather a lot.

Afraid that I might be getting soft, I immediately wrote myself a mental note that I had to do something very macho to even it out when I got back home. Such as building a viking longship, only using my own head to hammer in all the nails, and then proceed to travel out, rape and pillage all the inhabitants of the continent of Europa.

After having finished shopping, we went to a grocery store and picked up something we could grill when we got back home to the apartment. Cod's not my favorite fish, but it ended up really good wrapped up in aluminium foil along with mushrooms, onion, and lots of other vegetables and roasted on the grill.

Also, Inga adopted a garden dragon. From the garden of one of Lisa's friends, which wanted Inga to have it and give it a nice home, see as she could get another one easily. Before anyone cry out that exporting live dragons surely is illegal, let me comfort you with that this was a simple garden ornament made out of metal. It was nice and cute, but very uncomplicated. Actually thought of welding myself a larger copy one day.

Now, Nidhogg as he's known(We had to give him a proper Norwegian name, and that was the only dragon from Norse mythology I could think of.) is residing in Inga's garden, scaring away aggressive doorsellers.

And I think that was the end of the day. I surely hope I'll be able to write the next one quicker.

[Asper Sarnoff]

Day 6: Goin' north.

Now, it was time for the second part of our vacation. We all got up early and drove to Cedar Rapids Airport, from which we first took a plane to Saunt Paul International Airport in Minneapolis, Minnesota. And from there, to Billings Logan International Airport, in Billings Montana. When I say it that way, it sounds like it was a quick trip. Well, it wasn't really. Planes involve a lot of waiting, so despite starting early, it was well into midday before touching Billings tarmac.

In the airport, we meet up with Lisas aunt, Britt, and her father, Donald, or Don for short. We were going to drive two cars to Lewistown, where we'd be staying. Inga with Britt, and me, Lisa and Scott with Don. But first, we went to another mall. Splitting up, with the girls going for the clothing stores, and we guys going into a huge sports store. We didn't think of buying anything, but it was surely a nice opportunity to talk with Don and get to know him. He's the kind of guy I tend to really get along with, self-made man, very conservative (In the states that is), with a heart of gold and a laugher that comes out often and intense.

None of us, not even the girls, bought anything at the mall, so we drove to a place where we could cath something to eat. After another hearty burger, and an ice cream at another place, I was so stuffed that I did consider killing myself to ease the pain. Once again, I made myself a mental note, this time to intensify my excersise program when I got back home. I probably had a couple of punds extra I needed to get rid off.

Then, we climbed into the cars and started on the long trip to Lewistown. Don's Caddilac SRX surely was an excellent car for the long trips on the arrowstraight highways. We got to see an awfull lot of things, such as the backside of a huge truck hauling half a dumper bed around, ocupying a space equivelant to three lanes, up to the mines in Canada. We luckily managed to sneak past that 1/3 on the way.

After spending a couple more hours on the highway, we arried in the small town where we'd be spending most of the time we had left in the states. After having meet my grandaunt, which emigrated from Norway with her two daughters a long time ago, and her other daughter, Lisas mother, we had another dinner and went to the house where we'd be staying for as long as we were in Lewistown. It was quite the special place, one which I'll spend some more time describing in my future chapters.

Also, I'll probably end up hacking apart and gluing together the rest of my stay here in the US. Much of what happened in Lewistown was personal family business, and not really interesting for you.

[Showtime 1-1]

Did those arrow-straight roads make you wish you had your 'Vette? I've seen some cars do a pretty good clip down some of those highways.

[Asper Sarnoff]

Did those arrow-straight roads make you wish you had your 'Vette? I've seen some cars do a pretty good clip down some of those highways.

A little bit. But I'd be more temped with one of Norways narrow, windy mountain roads instead.

[Asper Sarnoff]

To round of my trip, there'll from now on just be split into sections, each centering around an interesting event.

The most awesome store ever.

If there's one thing that stands out among all the others, it's one particular shop in the town we stayed in, Lewistown. The store was called "Antler's Art", or something very similar. Don't bother googling for it though, it's not the kind of store that advertises itself. One have to be told about it be someone who've allready been there. In our case, it was Donald, Lisa's father, who's a properly good friend of the owner.

It didn't looks as special from the outside, save for the totempoles... When we got in however, we were all in for quite a shock. The main parts of the store was made up of three rooms, spiraling into the depths of the building. And every single piece of wall, ceiling and horizontal surface was covered by stuff. There were jewelry, some of it made by native Americans, ceramics, carved wood statues, muzzleloader guns, rattlesnake skins, all kinds of shells, trapper hats made out of whole fox and wolf skins, pieces of clothing, paintings and much, much more. And as the name of the store said, there was antlers. Imagine for a second, that every single object you can see around you now whereever you're sitting, was made out of antlers. All kinds of furniture, chandeliers, clothes and guns racks, sculptures... absolutely everything one could imagine could be made out of such a material, times three.

The storekeeper himself was somewhat of a character as well. Probably in his 80's, and most of everything reminding me of a grumpy bear which had just been awakened from its winter sleep. He was more friendly however, starting to shake hands with Lisa, but immediately bringing her into a hug as soon as she told she was Don's daughter.

We ended up visiting this place twice actually. One time to scoop the place out, to get a perspective on all of this. And then coming back another day to buy some stuff, as well as getting a special tour around the other parts of the building. And while the store itself had been crammed full, it was just the tip of the iceberg. The wareroom in the back was completely and utterly stuffed full. Frank said he had two cars in there somewhere, but I could only spot a fender from one of them no matter how hard I looked. Also, he owned a cannon, which he had somehow managed to lose in there somewhere. That speaks volumes really. Some people might misplace their keys or a book. Frank misplaced a cannon.

Behind the wareroom was his own living quarters. Imagine something taken out of a Harry Potter book, and you'll get somewhat close to the description. The walls where so full of game trophies and paintings one couldn't see what the original tapestry was. In the second floor, he had a small bar, covered in Christmas decorations. And, I do remember I at one point actually stumbled over a footstool made out of and elephants foot. This was truly a spectacular place, and Frank was such a character. And a great one at that.

More stories to come soon...

[CrypticQuery]

:shock: HOW DO YOU MISPLACE A CANNON AND NOT BE ABLE TO FIND TWO AUTOMOBILES!!!? That's incredible, that store should receive awards!  Thanks for sharing Asper! :D

[Asper Sarnoff]

You're most welcome crazyfooinc. Make sure to swing by it if you ever find yourself in that area.

Now, this being my last post about my trip, I'll do a quick sum-up of the other things I did, but which don't require a whole post in themself.

• Donald took me to one of his mates, owning one of the most highly valued collection of classic Pontiac's, and some other cars as well, in the northern states. His name evades me at the moment, but the cars were definitively breathtaking. Customised and/or restored to a point beyond perfection. I sadly don't have any pictures from there, but I can tell you, it was truly spectacular.
  
• We visited and swam in "Gigantic Warm Springs" just a short drive out of town. We all agreed it should have been named "Slightly-Smallish-slighly-warmer-than-some-other-springs-spring". But we had lots of fun anyway.
  
• We witnessed the 4Th July parade, and following it, the opening of the Veteran's Memorial Park, which Donald had taken the initiative to do. Both great events which I will remember for a very long time.
  
• Saw some bison's in a nature reserve, and also tasted bison burger at a local restaurant. Very nice animals both to study and to consume.
  
• Bought myself a couple of western boots. Black, simple, and always worn inside a pair of jeans. Don't regret that purchase.
  
• The "Bed & Breakfast" place we stayed at while in Lewistown was truly spectacular. Run by an old, very nice couple, which we really enjoyed talking with and hearing old stories from in the evenings. We also received 4-course breakfasts every single day!
  Fun fact, Michael Keaton, mostly known for his role as Batman, used to come and stay there for a couple of days every year. Liked to stay out of the spotlight, and be able to go hunting without paparazzi to bother him just once in a while.
  
• On the plane back over the Atlantic, where we sadly had to fly on Economy class, we were sitting by the side of this Indian gentleman. Unfortunately for Inga, who was sitting closest, he decided it was a good idea to start listening to Bollywood musicals and their soundtracks when everyone else wanted to sleep.
  As we got in talk with him later during the flight, we did however get to know he was high up in the architect company who had built most of the skyscrapers that had wowed us in Chicago. Inga even recognised him from a large photography in the Sears Tower. So, that was kind of cool.
  

I think that's everything. If I ever remember a good story from the trip, I'll have to save it for later.

All in all, I'd say this vacation was the best I've ever had. Generally, Americans are a lot nicer and friendlier people than the ones I'm used to, everything is a lot cheaper, even when calculated against the average wage, the landscape in some of the places is really nice, and your cities are very likable. The food portions were huge for what you paid for them, and also very tasty as long as you picked wisely.

On the downside, is the fact that the normal tap water everywhere except Lewistown was completely undrinkable to me. The humidity and heat is a little to much for a poor viking, the lifestyle one have to adapt there is quite unhealthy, and some of the raw food materials isn't entirely up to par in some areas.

EDIT: Realised I didn't upload any of the 745 pictures we (read: Inga) took. Guess I'll have to go trough and find the interesting ones later on.

[TheRedFox8]

I'll be going to Chicago in a couple of weeks. And no, it's not for vacation.