Mr. Fox13 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I thought about making this when I saw TheRedFox8, DRL and Nick1439 descussing tragic endings. So thanks you guys for giving me the material for this. This is my first fan-fiction, but it really turned out more like a play IMO Oh well, I tried. (with tiers in her eyes) No, you can't die on me Fox! Not Here! Not like this! Don't try to save me Krystal...it's....it's already to late...*groans in pain*Nurse: His heart rate is dangerously low. We're losing him! (in a frantic voice) Hang on Fox! .....Just a little longer, the others are almost-- I'm sorry I.......I just can't hang on anymore......(starts to lose consciousness) .....Krystal I-- (in a total panic) What is it Fox!?Nurse: He's flat-lining, hurry get the defibrillators!Nurse:.....charging....and 3..2..1.. clear! (50,000 volts run through Fox's heart) ...It's no good. Charging to 100,000......and clear! .....This isn't working...charging to 200,000....Wait won't that kill him!?-(another nurse interjects)Nurse: Well he's dieing right now so...charging to 200,000......and clear! Did it work?! Is he going to make it???Nurse: I'm sorry. We did everything we could. *looks at another nurse* Set the time of death at 11:23pm... It.....It....Can't end like this! .....I....I can't live without you Fox! *pulls out blaster* (walking into the room laughing) Wow I got you good. This has to be the best trick I've ever played on anyone! ....... Yeah that's not me over there on the table, it's a dummy. (kinda confused) But I saw your Arwing crash at the air show. Your engines failed! (with a hint of arrogance) Me?....crash?! Never! No, what you saw was all faked. (Trying her best not to shoot Fox in the foot with that blaster) But....why...why would you do this to me! I dunno boredom mostly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluxy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Quiet short, yet funny. I actually have been thinking of many pranks that I have in reserve for my Fanfic, as I might need a lot soon, but none like that. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Fox13 Posted July 28, 2010 Author Share Posted July 28, 2010 Thanks, glad you liked it! I usually have trouble when it comes to writing long stuff. So I try to keep it short and exciting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr. Mario Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Very good! Do you think maybe the next prank you could do affect Falco and someone of your choice? I would love to see Falco's reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Fox13 Posted July 28, 2010 Author Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sure, that sounds like fun. I'm off all day tomorrow so I'll have plenty of time to work on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Wait... 200,000 volts? Dude, it takes 200 to 1,700 to revive a heart.To stick 200,000 volts through somebody, that's like hooking up a power station to him. I need to complete my version of the one I am making. Stay tuned! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Okay, this is what I could come up with. Sorry if it feels rushed, but I didn't intend for it to be a month-long project or something like that. I just wanted it to be short. The streets of Corneria’s capitol city were jam-packed with people of all shapes and sizes. The ominous sound of chatter and excitement filled the air as the crowd anxiously awaited what happened next. Today was the annual Cornerian Air Show, which invites dozens of skilled pilots to come to the planet and show off their skill. Team Star fox was no exception. Before their turn to perform there were all sorts of skilled pilot teams from all over the Lylat System who got a chance to show off their skill; maybe even advertising their services as mercenaries. The crowd enjoyed these other teams but what they anxiously awaited most was Team Star fox, the populace’s most favorite team. And they were up next. Up on a high tower overlooking the whole event, a couple of announcers for those people less fortunate to be out there were about to the arrival of Team Star fox. One male and one female announcer were seated behind a desk, hooked up to broadcast over radio, loudspeakers outside, and television. The floor director was holding up a paw, about to give the signal to begin. Then the hand went down. “Good afternoon Corneria and welcome back to the fifteenth annual Cornerian Air Show!” the male announcer said. “Before we took our break we had seen some spectacular performances by well-skilled pilots from around the Lylat System. Coming up next is the moment you have all been waiting for, Team Star fox!” A mass of cheering erupted outside. “Would you listen to that! I think it appears that the general populace is pretty excited, don’t you think?” “It certainly does,” the female announcer chimed in. “Star fox is just moments away from passing over our airspace here and judging what they told me, this performance will be the best one yet!” While the announcers were chatting away, four Arwings flying in formation were streaking through the sky from ten miles away. They were team Star fox: Fox, Slippy, Falco, and Krystal. “All ships, report in!” Fox said over the comm. “This is Slippy right here!” “Falco here, ready as always.” “I know you can still see me here, Fox”“Um, okay then. We have a big day today, so let’s knock them dead and go back home.” “Sounds good. I just might have to take you up on your offer,” Falco said. “Oh, get serious, Falco,” Slippy retorted. “Enough, you two. We’re almost there. Let’s start off with the Wildflower, then to the Leap of Death.” “Leap of Death so soon?” Krystal questioned. “Yes. We want to really wow them this year.” “But this is our first year doing this.” “Doesn’t matter.” “I hope you know what you're doing.” The first stunt they performed was the Wildflower. The four of them broke off, and formed a circle while shooting straight up, all the while spinning around each other. Suddenly Fox noticed that his Arwing was emitting a strange noise. As if to confirm his suspicion, an icon on his instrument panel lit up red, indicating engine trouble. “Um, guys? There's a problem with my Arwing,” Fox said through the comm. “What is it?” Krystal asked, a tone of worry in her voice. “It seems like one of the engines is failing. Oh well, we'll finish up the show then we'll head back to base to take a look at it.” “Are you crazy!? We need to head back now!” “No. That's not an option. We need to perform our money's worth to these people. I can't let them down.” “Okay, Fox. I hope you know what you're doing.” Right after their Wildflower maneuver, they rocketed toward the ground, known as the Leap of Death. They would push their Arwings as low as they can possibly go, and pull out when they almost hit the ground. When the time came to start pulling out of the dive, Fox's Arwing did not respond. “What are you doing, Fox?” Falco said frantically. “Pull out! You're gonna crash!” “Grrr... I'm... trying! Won't move!” As the Arwings safely pulled out of their dives, Fox's Arwing pulled up just enough to do a nose-landing, but he violently twisted to the side and tore off an entire wing with the ground, causing the ship to cartwheel across the ground and explode on the side of a hill. The crowd gasped in horror and an eerie silence hung across the entire gathering. “FFFOOOOOXXXX!!” Krystal screamed frantically. “Oh, no!” Falco said. The rest of them immediately found a safe place to land and ran toward the crash site. Already, medical personnel had arrived. Fox looked absolutely mangled up. Several lacerations were on his arms, legs, and face and several of the wounds were bleeding heavily. The rest of the crew watched in silence as the ambulance sped away for the nearest hospital. Three days have passed since Fox was allowed any visitors, but he remained unconscious throughout the entire time. On that third day, Krystal came over to the hospital and was in the waiting room when the doctor finally came out. “You may see him now,” he said. “We have done all we could, but he has little time left.” Tears steaming down her face, Krystal stood up and entered the room where Fox was in. Fox was an absolute mess. He was hooked up to several blood bags in various limbs, and several bandages were applied. All sorts of locations on his body were blood-stained and his sheets were stained with the stuff. He appeared to be barely breathing, the heart monitor slowing down with each passing minute. Suddenly she could hear something coming from him. A telepathic message! “Krystal, I don't know where you are, but I just want you to hear this. I am sorry about what I have put you through. I shouldn't have pulled off that stupid stunt. I hope the rest of the crew treats you well. Once again, I am sorry...... ...” After that last word, the heart monitor flatlined. Tears streaming down her face, Krystal buried her face into his chest and cried bitterly. He was gone, and she could have stopped it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluxy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 ...How was it the ultimate prank? And Fox died... hardly a prank. But, if more time was spent building up to it, and add much more stuff, it would have been a great idea overall. (I am not trying to sound rude, sorry if it does. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 The prank was that there was a fake that was dying, and when he did and Krystal was about to end it, the real one came out.In my version (they are unrelated) he did actually die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluxy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 My last post was relating to the second one, yeah. Just, Was that the non-prank version of the first one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Actually the topic creator's story is the prank version of my story. He said he the material from elsewhere (me, from what I think the story behind my avatar is).And why my story seemed to be so gutted is because I wanted to hurry and finish it instead of leaving it unfinished. The longer I spend with it sitting open, the more chance it will have of just being thrown in a drawer or something. I don't usually do that to my long-term projects and I write a lot better than that. If you want to add to it, be my guest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluxy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Ah, makes more sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 *pats head* Good. Glad it clicks into place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 The first one made me lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Oh sure. Everyone likes the first one, and mine is problematic.As usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxMcCloud Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Theredfox8 I am continuing where your fanfic has left off. Maybe to give it a new light or to satisfy those who do not like depressing endings. I like how yours was an opener, and gave me an idea to write and ending. and i must say very good writing on your part!! After that last word, the heart monitor flatlined. Tears streaming down her face, Krystal buried her face into his chest and cried bitterly. He was gone, and she could have stopped it. The Doctors were about to give the time of deathAs Krystal began to cry bitterly, she found the way to say the words ," You can't go Fox...... I L-Love You, Don't Leave ME!"Time of Death is wha.... whats happening!!Suddenly a light filled the room, its origin from the crystal on her headpiece, the last remnant of Cernia's magic. As the Light grew stronger, the staff looked at one another in awe.Suddenly a beep hit the heart monitor, then another, soon it began to maintain a steady pulse.The Doctors and nurses freaked, "What the Heck is going on here!""Doctor, his pulse is back and its steady! His Blood Pressure is Nominal!!!" a nurse yelledKrystal's eyes locked on to Fox's face and she thought to her self, This must have been the work of the most guarded and secret works of Cernian magic. Suddenly a telepathic message came into her mind from her father. "Krystal you have grown to be a strong young woman, we gave our lives to save you, and we will know use the last bit of our magic, to save this man, for you. Krystal we love you, never forget that. Live long."Krystal began to cry once again "Father!"Suddenly a cough came from the gurney where fox was being treated onA raspy voice filled her ears " Krystal" he murmured"Fox" she screamed " Your ok!" she locked her arms in a hug around fox's chest"he chuckled, why wouldn't I be. and he coughed again""Shhhh fox, just rest, everythings gonna be ok" Krystal stated" Oh Krystal, I heard everything you said, and I want to let you know, "I love you too" Fox saidSuddenly Krystal locked her lips to fox's and said " Don't ever pull any stunt like that again"The Doctor Came over to Krystal "What happened?!"She Looked at fox then the doctor and said "During his 4 days here he made a steady recovery, and was close to the brink of death, but you doctors pulled a miracle. You doctors saved Fox McCloud. For that we thank you" The Doctor understood what she had meant by this message. "Only those in this room will know what happened, to me it looked like your love for him overcame death"Krystal returned to her seat, grabbed fox's hand, and fell asleep on his armDays passed, and soon Fox was discharged: bandages covering the lacerations.Krystal and Fox Walked out of the Hospital doors hand in hand, with crowds of people cheering. Excited that their hero was saved!*to be continued?*Let me know what ya'll think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Hey, maybe I should continue it myself, if there is any room to continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Oh sure. Everyone likes the first one, and mine is problematic.As usual.Didn't read the second one yet. Will do that later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxMcCloud Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Hey, maybe I should continue it myself, if there is any room to continue.There is always room to continue!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Yeah, I can think of one idea: Slippy's gonna get hell because he's in charge of Arwing repairs. Maybe it's sabotage, or a mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxMcCloud Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 ooh thats a good one!!!I recommend you do that one, maybe we can alternate chapters?? The only problem we would have is that we need to have a seperate thread, since this one is the "Ultimate Prank" based on the one that was first posted.That and we need to keep our characters synced in thoughts and mindsets.You up for it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Yeah. I'll start the thread, putting up the story thus far.However, I will get around to writing the chapter later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxMcCloud Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Alrighty Sounds good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedFox8 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I'm going to shift over to the rest of the Star Fox team (Falco giving Slippy hell), if you want to focus between Fox and Krystal, I can focus on Falco, Slippy, Peppy, and ROB.I am telling you this so you can come up with your next idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluxy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Theredfox8 I am continuing where your fanfic has left off. Maybe to give it a new light or to satisfy those who do not like depressing endings.Are you kidding? As I posted somewhere else, I <3 depressing endings, just it needs to have build up and such. It's just me, but when it seems like a very small thing then someone dies, it's just not my thing. : /. But then again, I can sometimes get picky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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