Being "Cool"...

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Very often, I hear people saying they wish they could be cool, or that they want to be cool, or want to know how to be cool.  *shakes head*

Here, we're gonna talk about being cool, what makes for coolness, and what doesn't.

Does having a motorcycle make you cool? NO!

Does having a muscle/customized car make you cool?  NO!

Does having cool stuff make you cool?  No but hell no.

How about hanging out with cool people, listening to cool music, dressing in awesome clothes?  Again, No.

Being cool is (and this is up for debate)

-Not caring whether you're cool or not.  If you don't care or obsess about being cool, that right there shows you're already cool.

-Being yourself, and not let others tell you what you are or are not.  Being yourself, but not pushing that in everyone's face or attention/validation seeking about it.

-Being independent, self sufficient, and even helping others without being asked or without boasting about it.  (But don't let people take advantage of you either).

-Not caring what others think about you, yet sticking up for yourself (and others).

-Having your s*** together, I'm not just talking about organization, but generally having things balanced properly for all things in your life.  Moderation.

-Having your own unique way of thinking, living, doing, and being....not following others, but only following your own path.

-Speaking your mind, but being careful how you say things.

-Thinking of others, and putting them before yourself, and putting yourself in their shoes.

-Finding a solution to a problem, instead of whining about it, and if you can't find a solution to that problem, let it go.  It's okay to express a disgruntlement with something, just don't overdo it.

-Realizing that you are not perfect, that nobody is...and that you are not God, nor are you in charge of the universe.  Nobody likes a control freak.  But by the same token, you need to be assertive.  Life doesn't hand you what you want on a silver platter, and you shouldn't want it to.

-Bending the rules, without breaking them apart. (I'll explain what that means later).

-Don't judge others.  There are 2 sides to ever story.  But try not to be naive, either.  Weight the facts, use your head.

-Have your own beliefs, but don't force them onto others.  Admit when you're wrong (at least if partially), if it's incontestably proven that you are wrong...

-Swallow your pride.  No one is superior or inferior to you.

-Don't take crap from anyone, but don't dish it out either...(except when you're dishing it back at someone who dished it out to you first).

-Know what's going on in the world, be aware of stuff.

-Make few promises, but keep all promises you DO make.

*addition*

-Being confident, being comfortable in your own skin. (great job Redeemer!).

-Being honest

-Being reliable

-Being trustworthy

-Being relaxed/causal, but knowing when to be serious.

-Not "trying to be" slick/smooth...you either are, or you aren't.  No shame in it if you're not.  There IS shame in it, if you fail to see/acknowledge this, and keep trying and failing to be slick/smooth.  E.G. You try to jump into a chair from behind it a' la' the Fonz, and miss the chair, fall, and hurt yourself.  Not cool.  Don't do what you can't do, and don't be what you are not.

-Not letting the fact you fell down upset you.  Heck, trying to brush it off and maybe even laugh at yourself and with the others laughing at you makes for cool right there.

Suppose you sat in a wicker chair and the seat of it broke and you fell through it, maybe even got stuck, and others laughed at you.  Well, you could simply laugh too, or even crack a funny joke, like "Thanks for nothing, Atkins diet!" or "Light beer my ass!".  That's funny, and cool.

You see, if you're the one who blundered, and others laugh at you, it's nothing personal.  Heck, if you could see it from their point of view, it [probably] is pretty funny!

-Being brave, but not being foolhardy.  Knowing when to turn away from a dangerous situation.

-Knowing your limitations, and admitting you're not the best at everything, all the time.

-Playing your strengths

-Learn from your mistakes, let them make you better, not bitter.  Always try to improve yourself a little bit more each time.

-Don't be self absorbed or obsessive about yourself.  Taking care of yourself, "taking a look in the mirror", improving yourself, is all fine, but don't overdo things.

-Don't fish for compliments, sympathy, attention, or validation.  Take it as it comes, and give it when you should.  Always thank those who sent that stuff your way.

-Be polite.  You'd be surprised how far that can get you.

-Don't try to be a people pleaser.  Despite how the old saying goes, even stars can't please everyone.

-Owning cool things, a cool car, or a cool home doesn't make you cool.  Those are merely projections/reflections of who you are inside, at this point in time of your life.  They change.  People change.  It's okay if you do own cool things, a cool car, and/or a cool home, just as long as they don't own you.  The same goes for wearing cool clothes.  Clothes DON'T make the man, the man chooses them if he doesn't make them.  Like the cool stuff, the clothes are a projection/reflection of who you are inside, because of how/why you chose them.  If you spend a lot of your time at home and out running errands in a sweatsuit, that's okay.  If you dress to the nines just to go get groceries, or to pick up a birthday present, that's not okay.  Kinda weak, actually. =/  Make sure YOU are wearing the clothes, and that they're not wearing you.

-The friends you make should be real, genuine.  They shouldn't be fair-weather friends, phonies, sponges, or suck-ups.  Keep good company or none, and by good company, I man morally good.  I'd rather hang out with people who are considered "geeks" or "dorks", but they're morally good, sincere, honest, kind people, than to hang out with people who are "cool, hip, awesome" (or whatever the general consensus about them using similar adjectives for them may be) but those same"cool" people at the same time are mean, backbiting, phony, social climbing, selfish, shallow douchebags.  Also, choose quality over quantity for friends.  In the words of Francis Bacon, "A crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures...".

-Keep all anxieties of yours in check.  We all have stresses in life, well, most of us do, anyways.  It's okay to blow off steam, but generally don't wear stress on your sleeves.  Also, don't let stress make your life miserable.  Try to make the best of a crap sandwich.

-Do what YOU want to do (as long as it doesn't negatively affect others).

-Believe in yourself, and be confident (but don't be an egotist).

-The world doesn't give a crap about your self esteem.  Self esteem is EARNED, and it should be earned, not given.  You feel good about yourself, you need to earn it by accomplishing something first, be it meeting a personal goal, or through hard work.  It's called "building character".

-Nothing is cool about "victim hood".  Even if someone or something else was at fault for the crap that happened in your life (abusive parents, growing up poor, etc.), don't use that as a crutch for why your life is the way it is now, just build from it.  Yes life can be unfair, and discrimination is still alive and rampant, even in this phony "Democratic, equal-opportunity, kinder, gentler, phonier America", but there's always a way around life's roadblocks.  It just takes some people longer to find that effective detour.  You can choose to sink in the muck, or choose to swim out of it.  I know plenty of people from the ghetto who worked hard to get out of the ghetto on their own, they got their GED, worked hard to earn the money, and traveled far, and set up in a new place, working even harder to stay in their newer, better homes and lives.  Saying "it's all society's fault" is a load of crap.

-Being in touch with reality, being self aware without being [overly] self conscious

-NEVER follow trends

-Having self-control, will power, and generally having control over your emotions.

-Not caving in to peer pressure or backing down from your beliefs...

[Scott7]

Well... at least I have a few of those.

[Redeemer]

I think the image of being "cool" varies from person to person. Someone who's a master of Tetris and is fluent in the latest video game knowlegde can be seen as cool but other video game lovers, but nerdy to other people. A girl who is into the latest trends and knows alot of people can be seen as cool to other girls like this, but be seen as a plastic wannabe to other people. It varies.

I think the key of "being cool" lies within how comfortable you are in your own skin. I don't think there's a defining situation. Does that make sense? :?

[Guest Julius Quasar]

I think the key of "being cool" lies within how comfortable you are in your own skin. I don't think there's a defining situation. Does that make sense?

TOTALLY!  That's perfect!   Couldn't have said it better myself!

[Redeemer]

TOTALLY!  That's perfect!   Couldn't have said it better myself!

Phew, haha, I was worried incase I was rambling there. Thanks.  :friends:

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Phew, ha ha, I was worried in case I was rambling there. Thanks. 

No prob'! :yes:

[Scott7]

I think the key of "being cool" lies within how comfortable you are in your own skin. I don't think there's a defining situation. Does that make sense?

Sadly I'm not very happy with mine, Classmates and family say I look just fine but... well... they're family and freinds so you get the idea...

[Guest FoXXX]

Hey, that's a good read I hope I'm at least a few of those :|

[The Shaper]

I'm sure you are my friend. Personally i don't care about being cool or others bad opinions.

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Hey, that's a good read I hope I'm at least a few of those

Thanks, and yeah you are!

I'm sure you are my friend. Personally i don't care about being cool or others bad opinions.

VERY good.  That alone is cool.  :cool:

[Sapphire]

Julius my friend, you are a genius. ;)

["User"]

Being cool is subjective.  What one person would define as cool someone else totally sees it as the opposite.

That being said Julius, I'll agree with the majority of what you posted.

[Samantha Weltzin]

Nice little treatise, Julius. I think the gist of pretty much everything you're saying is that in order to be cool, you have to be just that: Cool-headed and willing to just take things as they come without getting upset about how they affect your self-image.

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Julius my friend, you are a genius.

Thanks dude! 

Being cool is subjective.  What one person would define as cool someone else totally sees it as the opposite.

That being said Julius, I'll agree with the majority of what you posted.

Another good point, thanks!

Nice little treatise, Julius. I think the gist of pretty much everything you're saying is that in order to be cool, you have to be just that: Cool-headed and willing to just take things as they come without getting upset about how they affect your self-image.

Thanks, dude!  That's exactly what I mean. :yes:

[EazyIN]

This is what I have to say to those with the BAD cool:

I really don't give a crap what people think of me, some think I'm cool, some think I'm 'out there', and some want me dead. I REALLY COULDN'T GIVE A [Removed]

[Guest Julius Quasar]

This is what I have to say to those with the BAD cool:

I really don't give a crap what people think of me, some think I'm cool, some think I'm 'out there', and some want me dead. I REALLY COULDN'T GIVE A [Removed]

VERY good!

I was hoping/expecting to see someone post that here eventually. 

[Falcory]

I pretty much agree with what Julius said as well. I know many think of me as nerdy, or a weirdo. But there are a few who think of me as "cool" probably because I'm into the majority of things they're into. Overall it really depends on the person though like Redeemer said. There are a bunch of people thought as "cool" and truth be told I don't see what makes them so hot. To each his own as the saying goes.

[Vy'drach]

[Ellipzocore]

Don't be a RuneScape addict like me, that will get you no where. :P

[Guest Julius Quasar]

I pretty much agree with what Julius said as well. I know many think of me as nerdy, or a weirdo. But there are a few who think of me as "cool" probably because I'm into the majority of things they're into. Overall it really depends on the person though like Redeemer said. There are a bunch of people thought as "cool" and truth be told I don't see what makes them so hot. To each his own as the saying goes.

Yeah.  The media is especially stupid in promoting certain people as "cool", when they're really not (i.e. Paris Hilton, Lady Gaga...).  Sadly, the fans of the "cool" people are just as uncool as the person they blindly worship just 'cause the media convinced them to.  MTV can burn in hell.

*laughs at Vydrack's comic strip posted*

Yeah, the protagonist of that comic is not cool.

Don't be a RuneScape addict like me, that will get you no where.

[Redeemer]

See, I'm the type of person that thinks video games and comic books are cool. I think the X-Men are awesomely cool. Heck, I just love Marvel in general. Last night I watched a movie that had Lou Ferrigno in it and I almost exploded with excitement. And while my friends like me that way and think I'm cool, I know for a fact that there are other people who think I'm a nerd.

But to be fair, here's a list of other things I think are cool:

Nature parks

Animals

Milkshakes

Cute stationary sets

Alcohol

Shoes

Gift soap

Plushies

Dragons

Going out for an entire day, like from 9am - 9pm

Going to new places and exploring

Villages

Quiet, rural or picturesque places

Devon, England

Scenery of Northern Scotland

Holidays in one of the above three places

Now I don't know about you, but the list of stuff there would make me seem different if I never told you about the comics and stuff. I have a wide variety of interests, but I guess the most prominent ones are the comics, games, etc. And it's those that cause people to label me, but they always seem surprised because I don't LOOK like I'm into those things either. I don't fit the "nerdy stereotype", I don't wear the right clothes, talk about the games or comics alot, etc.

[Guest Julius Quasar]

Oh you like X-Men as well? Awesome!

Now, on the subject of "cool", what made the Fonz cool wasn't because he was the quintessential [hip] '50's guy, nor was it because he rode a motorcycle or drove a custom car.  The leather jacket sure as hell wasn't it.

Fonz was independent, confident, strong, [generally] in control of his anger unique in his own little (and some big) ways.  He also wasn't stuck up, judgmental, he didn't follow anyone.  He led, himself, and others followed him.

Stephen Hyde from "That '70's Show" was similar.  Had nothing to do with the fact he was the quintessential [hip] '70's guy with an El Camino.  Hyde was independent, confident, strong, [generally] in control of his anger unique in his own little (and some big) ways.  He also wasn't stuck up, judgmental, he didn't follow anyone. 

Does being a loner make you cool?  Not necessarily.  It's not "uncool" either.  Personally, I classify it with, oh, I dunno, the whole "inner projection/reflection of who you are" mixed with independence.

[Thu'um]

mmm, i would say i am pretty cool but the key is to get along with everybody. i have no enemys. i also hate fabs like silly bands, while i don't speak against them i would never support them and most of my friends respect me for dat. Aslo with music. Most people like rap, Perosnly i hate it but i never say so. but my friends no i don't like it and so i am my own person not just some one who wants too be cool  because trying to be some one else is only going to screw you up even more

[Geo Stelar]

Being cool is just easy.. just dip in on a swimming pool during Winter..

Alright, just kidding.

Seriously, everybody here just nailed almost everything that makes a guy cool.

[The Shaper]

If you want to try to be cool take my advice:Don't.