Hey a penguin!

[ballisticwaffles]

SO here i am it seems, typing away on this worderfull site, when a random thought hits me. Why,  ask my self, am i here. THen i immediatly compleatly forget what i am doing and thus starts my own personal blog. Wonderbal!

[CrypticQuery]

And with this joyously and blissful personality, BallisticWaffles soon overran the United Providences of Awesome, and became ruler of the seven seas.  PARADOX HAAAX!!  Seriously, that entry wins points for originality :lol:

[ballisticwaffles]

SO i might as well give some information on my personal being if this is to be a blog about me

My name is Inigo montoya. You killed my father. prepair to die.

Or not

Seriously, my name Is Tyler and thats all you will get out of me.

IM of legal age, sixteen i think.

Im a blond blue eyed american hailing from the state of connecticut.

I am enrolled at the BHS, and my favorite thing to do is, read, lecture, play games, rock the F*ck out and read terrable fanfiction to my friends.

My room is my lair and if anyone punctures that lair i kill them

I really dont have much to say. except everything. WHen im sick i tell bad jokes, when im not, i tell good ones.

Umm... yea. So i herd u liek mudkips? No that wont do.

THIS IS... MY BLOG! THat one was worse.

F*ck YEA SEAKING. Imma just stop with the memes now.

[ballisticwaffles]

"He took that figurine and set it on the desk near his bed. He lay down, with the Space Marine standing between him and the shadows. Its own shadow loomed large over Shinji's bed, and it was good. When the candle died, and all was rage and darkness, Shinji was no longer afraid. He believed, in a child's innocent and utter faith, that the Space Marine stands as a guardian against all darkness, that the light of the Emperor will yet prevail. He stands as the rock upon which the hope of humanity is built.

Shinji never feared the dark again, no matter where it was. As long as his Space Marine stood there, he never had any bad dreams. Scary movies, ghost stories, among the pastime of children, had him listen there unflinching. The kids he played with called him the boy without fear. Graveyards and old buildings were gothic grounds, and in their dark stillness he felt as if welcomed.

His nights would always be safe, thanks to his Space Marine."

Shinji and Warhammer 40K Chapter one

WHy do i shiver when i read this quote? Why do i shudder in delight when the simple mind of a child believes, so vehemently, that a small plastic figurine will protect him from the evils of his world. Why do i tear up when a little child can find absolution in such a small figurine? Maybe cause i seek absulution. Maybe cause i seek such inner belief, maybe its a shelter for the rough and torrential times we live in? Maybe. Or maybe Charles Bhepin is the greatest author that has ever lived.

[ballisticwaffles]

You know what pisses me off?

The catcher in the rye.

Jeezus Muhammed B. Christ, can one book be more hyped up, more over thoughten o f, and more of a waste of my time that this infernal peice of garbage. I have read troll fics that have more meaning thanm this rotting pile of tree bark. i Mean, god, its twenty something chapters of a kid whining. and yet somehow this book, not only kills John Lennon, but gets banned for a while. This is not the book to ban. it is a peice of conntempt garbage, but you do not ban it for sucking as a book.

My final opinion?

[move]THE EMPEROR REJECTS![/move]

[ballisticwaffles]

I often find my slef asking "Tyler, why do you exist?" Then i answer my self, usually, by saying "Shut up id and let me finish my home work"

Why do people seek love where it is unobtainable? Often i browse the Rping section of this site and see people on the verge of a nervous humping. And often does my friend come to school depressed and sullen over something ridiculous about romance from some one far away. Why?

I do not know. i cannot even fathom the reasons why someone would ham it up when it regards to romance, but leave one or two sentinces except when they are sucking face with another charecter. Its not that it bothers me (whcih is a total and extream lie) but why must so much minute detail must be placed in every second of the smooch when only a breif

"and then he walked away"?

Quick thing about me: i went to my mothers in arizona over the summer and she is a lesbian. After many Dry humping sessions with her Girlfriend, I steadily grew homophobic. Nothing that i show overtly, but it reflects on my opinoins. I am for gay rights and all, but im just... meh.

[ballisticwaffles]

When i argue with my self, i cant help but wonder "is the other person right?" and then they punch me and i hit them back

WArhammer 40K is aviolent disturbing universe filled with death, hatred, and Bureocrats. ALien species hunt humans from all sides as Humanity festers in its place among the stars. And i lvoe it. I love every gut wrenching, violence filled moment where a group of Five Space Marines charge head first into an unwinnable conflict. I love it when after painstakingly describing a monument, the author has an Orkish WAAAGH! Blow it up. I love the descriptions of the pus filled, disease Nurglings are oh so beautifully described as they infect and tear themselves into a frenzy. I love the Panderings of the Followers of Khorn as they recite the same litany of fury to themselves

[move][shadow=red,left][glow=red,2,300]BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE THRONE OF KHORN![/glow][/shadow][/move]

I love it. All of it. It is a universe plagued with war. yet in it, thye have purpose. They have order. They have security. Thye have Might. COUld any of us ask for more?

[ballisticwaffles]

Thought of the day: Why am i unsensitive by such violent things? id sure like to beat the snot out of the person that blames video games

"And they all cried out, for their Emperor, for their homeworld, for their Greater Good, for their victory.

But above all, one battlecry eclipsed all others by typical Ork brute force, lung capacity and volume.

"WAAAAAAAAAAGH!"" "

40k: Toyhammer chapter 20 :Chaotic times: Redecoration by firepower

"Oi, Madork! Oi bet ya ten teef dat you can't make that honkin' noise from 'eadbutting the middle of dat big steerin' fing."

"You'ze on, 'Ardenuff."

There was the sounds of someone getting a run up from the top of the driver's seat, the faint 'Waaaagh' of a single ork flying charge, then the sudden and sharp honk of a horn."

40k: Toyhammer chapter 26: Warpath:

Ah, The orks. nothing funnier in a grim dark universe than a bellophiliac race with a speach impeadiment that makes Pontius Piwate sound normal. They are my favorite of the many races of warhammer 40k for many reasons. The first and formost being that they just kick ass.

the second and more thought out is the fact that they have an inner peace. The orks do not complain about existance. The orks do not question their existance. The orks do not need to, for the fact that they exist is good enuff for dem. they do not need philosiphy, for they dont question them selves. That is something i envy, the ability to be so mind numbingly straight forward in my beliefs that i can achieve an inner peace. Un like the Orks however, screaming WAAAGH! at the top of my lungs and charging head first into the latest WAAAGH is not my dream. SO i will be content for now to watch Da orks from a distance, relishing in their inner peace.

Oh and their heads asplode when they are psykickally attacked. thats reason number 3

[ballisticwaffles]

Thought of the day: Why waste time learning if im going to spend the next 20 years at a desk click buttons!

Nothing to write about, just gardening enought posts to finally purchase an avatar that does the robot when i say the magic words toucan, Shadubely and Sombrero

Such a fun word to spell. And say.

Sombrero

S-o-m-b-r-e-r-o

Sombrare? no sombrero

ANd i have wasted probably 10 more minutes of your life, that equals... aout 9 years more in purgatory! YAY!

[The Shaper]

Well then that adds my total number of time in purgatory,,,,, around 560000909 years or so.

[Guest Senshi]

x

[ballisticwaffles]

Thought of the day: WAAAGH!sh your dishes

[ballisticwaffles]

My father can rot in hell.

MY father comes home to my sister dooing homework.  Her stuff is all over the counter and she is working rather hard. So what does he do? he Yells and screams and carries on and on about how we can all starve becuase he wont cook dinner becuase we are all such "fucking lazy slobs".

At this point my sister is openly sobbing and my father is still going on and on. At this point i lose my temper and say "would you quit it dad cant you hear her crying?"

Dad losses it. He side steps from his room his voice at the maximimum volume "DONT FUCKING TALT TO ME LIEK TAHT" HE grabs a chair and tries to threaten me with it, but i stand my ground. I calmly walk upstiar and break into open sobs on my bed. Then i come here to let you all know im going slowly insain and losing my barely contained rage at commen things. im sorry, my psyche cant take mcuh more. So if i have any breeches of taste or insult matches, i would like to apologize now and then for my behavior.

[CrypticQuery]

No one should have to go through that, but it's all too common in society today .  I'd seriously put some thought into calling Social Services...........

[ballisticwaffles]

im afraid that would be right out. My father is charming enough that i would be found in fauklt and given right back to him, only now he is pissed. more pissed. pissed squared

[Vulvokunvrii]

eek, sorry to hear that...does he drink..or...? Mabye it ias something that is troubling him... or something. ALthough ,there are people who are just plain angry from the start...but id just watch yourself around him; he may one day snap and use something alot deadlier than a chair....

[ballisticwaffles]

im more afriad of me than him. Im afraid ill one day do something to my self. Already to stifle my rage i bite my self, and im afraid im going to graduate to soemthing worse.Oh dear lord im afraid.

[Vulvokunvrii]

im more afriad of me than him. Im afraid ill one day do something to my self. Already to stifle my rage i bite my self, and im afraid im going to graduate to soemthing worse.Oh dear lord im afraid.

well, if you have that rage boiling up inside you, just try to think of something that makes you happy or walk away and do something you enjoy to get your mind off of it.

[ballisticwaffles]

im afraid you dont understand my longtime friend. This sint a childish anger directed at someone who doenst deserve it. And im not t h eperson to forrgive so easily. This isnt anger. This is Rage. And my emotions dont leave me be like that. Im afraid this will stay inside me until i am set off. and im afraid of doing that too.

[Vulvokunvrii]

*gulps* then all i can think of would be these:

1. mabye talk to someone you love so you can "relive yourself of the rage. like one time i was pisse at something, and i talked to a person who was willing to listen and i felt alot better afterwards( of course i talked like a whole hour )

2. i would say confront him, but i dont think tht would be a good idea....

forgive me if i cant come up with anything else that could be a better alternative.

[ballisticwaffles]

*gulps* then all i can think of would be these:

1. mabye talk to someone you love so you can "relive yourself of the rage. like one time i was pisse at something, and i talked to a person who was willing to listen and i felt alot better afterwards( of course i talked like a whole hour )

2. i would say confront him, but i dont think tht would be a good idea....

forgive me if i cant come up with anything else that could be a better alternative.

dont ask for forgiveness friend, you have done nothing but attempt to aid me. and i deeply thank you for it. Im probably going to haunt the psycologists office at my school periods 2-3. thank you for t he advice friend, im actually going to go on GMod right now to clear my head. thank you very much.

[Vulvokunvrii]

*salutes*

No problem, anything to help!

:yes:

[ballisticwaffles]

Becuase i am sadistic and cruel, im going to list every single Bad fanfiction i have ever read.

The format is this

Title

Rating (1-5 5 being bad 1 being baddest)

Why

Starting with...

HOGWARTS: EXPOSED!

1

Hogwarts exposed is a fanfiction noone should have to read. the only way i could read it was a MStied (mystery science theater treatment) version, the real version to potent of a force of nature. The story follows Hermione as she comes back to Hogwarts after an extended absence. After this over used and bland entrance, the story introduces Caitlin who, to the disgust of the entire group of people reading this, is a nudist. She then convinces both Harry and Hermione to become nudists and play... if i go into it any more ill get this topic locked. To make a long story short at the end of 5 stories all of Hogwarts embraces Nudity, Pedophilia, and underage, nekkid, wrastling. If you have the balls and the audacity to try and read this without the sex sceans removed, i suggest a good bowl to throw up in.

Cloud Mows the Lawn

1

Scat. Enuff Said. Tifa Watches cloud mowing the lawn and poops herself, causing both of them to discover a fetish for doing exactly that. one moment while i preemtivly kill myself. The only thing preventing me from explaining more about the story is the 2 anurisms i had reading through it myself. My suggestion? DONT READ IT. PERIOD!

[CrypticQuery]

Cloud Mows the Lawn

Scat. Enuff Said. Tifa Watches cloud mowing the lawn and poops herself, causing both of them to discover a fetish for doing exactly that. one moment while i preemtivly kill myself. The only thing preventing me from explaining more about the story is the 2 anurisms i had reading through it myself. My suggestion? DONT READ IT. PERIOD!

WHO WRITES THIS?!? I honestly can't grasp how an author's mind can POSSIBLY PLAY OUT A STORY LIKE THAT.......the premise is just so..RIDICULOUS! :)

[ballisticwaffles]

opkay, Two more fanfics to feed the fire.

If popular enough, i may just begin to add good fanfiction, mainly for myself, and maybe for others as well.

But enough of that. First on the platter is

THE COMING OF MUNIHAUSEN

1

Dear Allah/God/Jehova/zeus/buddha/FSM/IPU, why?

What could taunt your creation into creating this festering pile of fecal matter?

The coming of Munihausen is a cross over beetween Sailor Moon and Urotsukidoji, a Tenticle Hentai. The reason all the other pornographic crossovers beetween the two shows havent been put here is becuase of this gargantuan mound of garbage. The plot is beyond gone, the entire thing is elf gratitude, more than one author avitar resides within and all the sex sceans are terrably writtan. Its like The writers of Epic movie and the guys who write JAckass teamed up to torcher humainty. This fic is the reason i cannot post links to the sotry as linkingk even to the Sporking of it can be considered as a shock site.

Okay... im done reviewing the previous meals i had today, so lets see whats next...

IF I WAS YOUR NAZI

5

GODDAMNIT

*sigh* it had to happen.

This Fanfic is a Kingdom hearts organization 13 one, where all 13 members are transported to 1940 and run concentration camps in beetween classes as they romance each other

Waht

Really? holy crap batman. i thought I was going to hell...

Okay, besides the fact that its a BLOODY EFFING HOLOCAUST ROMANCE! it also is poorly writtan and violates several Weapon clauses of the Geneva convention. it was BALEETED BY THE MODS OF FANFICTION.NET THANK GOD, but a sporking is found somewhere else, or at least should be.

Excuse me, i believe my therapist called, something about attempted suicide, im going for now.