The Great Troll and Moron War

[Guest Taranatar]

It was a dark time for the land of SF-O.  A foolish newbie had opened up a forbidden book, written by the Jem'Hadar elder Taranatar.  Despite warnings from the rest of the people of the land, the newbie opened the book anyway, and chanted incantations not meant for mortals.  In an instant, trolls and idiots of varying strengths rushed out, overwhelming the mighty land of SF-O and reducing its once mighty army to mere pockets of resistance.  However, a small group of champions arose to drive back these forces of idiocy, and would start SF-O on its journey back to greatness...

The young newbie ran terrified through the forests of the land of SF-O, two trolls quickly gaining on him.  He could see their bestial faces, resembling an ungodly hybrid of man, bear, and pig.  He could feel the bozons - subatomic particles that conveyed stupidity - emanating from the duo.  The reddish glow of their eyes seemed like the fires of hell themselves.  He could  smell their foul breath growing ever closer to his neck.

"Now?"  A voice asked.

"Not yet.  Soon."  Another one replied.

The newbie screamed in pure terror as the trolls came up, ready to take a huge bite out of his flesh.  This was it.  He was going to die.

"Now?"

"Now!"  In an instant, a violet beam of polarized energy lept from one of the bushes, blasting a hole right through one troll's chest, sending him flying backwards at the same time.  The other troll looked up, only for his head to be pulverized by a stream of rapidly fired rockets.  The newbie turned around to see two figures, a Jem'Hadar and a Space Marine, stepping out of the shadows.  He knew of these soldiers.  Taranatar and ballisticwaffles.