Funny speeding ticket excuses (WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS ON THE ROAD)

[Guest Mr. Mario]

While you were driving your car past the speed limit, a police officer catches and pulls you over to the side of the road. He/she is about to write a speeding ticket to you, however, you can come up with a excuse to avoid the ticket and learn your lesson. What would your excuse(s) be to the officer? NOTE: Excuses never work when you get yourself pulled over, so don't even try doing this.

My excuses:

I HAD to speed, Officer...If I'm not in court in 5 minutes for my last speeding ticket, they're gonna issue a warrant for me!

I wasn't supposed to go over the speed limit? I thought I was not supposed to go under the speed limit.

I was trying to achieve 88 miles per hour so I could go back in time to 1957...

Sorry officer, I was following the car in front of me and didn't realize how fast I was going.

I'm very sorry that I was speeding, I had to find myself a bathroom quick before I pissed my pants.

[The Shaper]

My apologies officer, I was trying to shift the gear.

Sorry officer, I was trying to successfully escape from robbing a bank.

My bad officer, I ran out of beer about half a mile ago so I needed to get some more.

Let me explain officer, the moon was chasing me and I wanted to get away from him.

[rebel_gunman]

That sounds like a valid excuse.

The funniest one I hear though:

*speeding car stopped by cop*

"Sir, you know why I pulled you over?"

*yada yada yada routine stuff*

"Well, since this is your first time and I have about half-an-hour before my shift ends I'll make you a deal: If you can give me a good excuse why you were speeding, I will let you go."

"Ok, well... you see, my wife left me for someone else. And I haven't seen her in a while. Last thing I heard is that the guy she left me for was a cop."

"Ok... so?"

"Well, you see, I though you were that cop. And I thought you were coming for me to give her back."

O_o

[Vy'drach]

"I was rushing home to watch cops."

"I thought you wanted to race."

And of course there's these, which are real.

I stopped a car in a rural area of our county for going 80 MPH in a 55 MPH zone. The driver explained that he had a bee flying around his head so he sped up to 80, hoping that the bee couldn't fly that fast and would not be able to fly out of the back seat area to get at him.

This Policeman pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.

"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.

"Not according to my radar," the officer replied.

"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.

"No you weren't!" the policeman said, starting to get annoyed. With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said,

"Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."

[Hatsworth III]

excuse 1:

officer: name and driver's license please:

me: Sonic is my name, *puts on sunglasses*, speed is my game. (yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!)

officer: you are under arrest.

me: ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

_________________________________________________

excuse 2:

officer open the window please.

me:  problem officer?

officer: yes, you was a heck above the speed limit, you are under arrest.

me: ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[Sluggsnipa]

I was trying to escape the first cop that was following me

[Kid_Cortet]

Officer: Let me see your license and registration

Me: I cannot do that...

Officer: Why not

Me: Because I stole this car and the owner is tied up in the trunk.....

[Vixie Darkmatter]

My dad heard this one once. "I'm sorry officer, I was rushing to the nearest Krispy Kreme because I heard you guys ran out of donuts."