Hilarious story telling

[Kid_Cortet]

I hope this kicks off to a good start.

Basically, post something funny that happened to you today, or something funny you witnessed, something that literally made you laugh out loud because you found it funny.

I guess I can start.

At work, there was a kid bragging that on four personality tests of "Which Christmas character are you?" he got Santa Clause on all four. So he was telling everyone he was Santa until...

Kid 1: I am Santa Clause!

Kid 2: No you are not, I do not believe you are!

Kid 1: Yes I am!

Kid 2: No.....you're not...

Kid 1: If you say I am not Santa Clause one more time you are getting a lump of coal for Christmas!

Kid 2: You are not....-kid 2 chokes on a piece of bacon he was eating-

Kid 2: -bows- I am sorry, Santa.....

[The Shaper]

I was watching a video a few seconds ago and it had Bill and Francis from left 4 dead having this exact conversation.

Francis: Cry your way over to the elevator and then sob your way down to the generator.

Bill: Speak up Francis your voice got all muffled from your head being so far up your @$$!

Francis: I know!

[FoxMcCloud]

Awww man this is gonna be an awesome thread.

We played a prank on a kid in my dorm. He is a ocol guy and lives across the hall from me. He left his door open, and he went into one of the labs on floor. We ceran-wrapped all of his stuff, individually.

We even took his bread, and wrapped each loaf, and returned it to the bag it was in. He was making a PB & J an hour after he de-ceran-wrapped his room. The look on his face PRICELESS

[rebel_gunman]

Both of these took place today:

*Formation for PT outside (Have in mind it's December in Alaska)*

SSgt: We all good? Stretched and everything?

*All nod yes*

SSgt: Ok, give me two ranks. We heading down the road. You all know the running route.

*Start running and one Sgt slips on the ice. About 3 more meters and a Private slips on the ice. A meter more and I slip on the ice. Not even 2 seconds later and a Specialist and a SSgt slip on the ice, taking the rest of the platoon down with them in a domino effect.*

SSgt: F*** it! Go back. We'll do indoors PT.

*Later after 1 1/2 hours of weights and various exercises*

*At the conference room ready to be dismissed for the day*

SSgt: <<<YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS PART OF THE CONVERSATION>>> ... Ok... does anybody has any more stupid questions?

*Silence in the room*

SSgt: OK. That's it for me. If none of the other NCO's have anything else, you all good. You all know where and at what time to be tomorrow.

*Silence in the room... again*

Sgt: 5

*All of us looking at each other without any idea what he means by '5'*

Sgt: 4

*All looking startled and looking at each other again*

Sgt: 3

*Everyone jumps off our seats and start rushing towards the nearest exit*

Sgt: 2

*By this time, everybody starts jumping over the soldier in front of him to make it out the door*

Sgt: 1

*Not a single soul left in the room*

[Thu'um]

I have a good one. I was four at the time.

I was having a blast throwing a tenis ball against a wall in my house, my mom however always knows everthing. She told i'd better not nock out the window screen. She then left to go get in her bath. so for the next three minuts my ball throwing went well, then i hit the window... The whole thing flew out and landed on the green houses on the floor below. Thinking quickly i ran into the kitchen stood up on a stool and grabed 2 cookies from the cookie jar and crammed them into my left pokit. Now i had one thought, To escape. I ran up to the front do raised my arms and opened the door. However, my mother heard this and quickly hoped put of the tub, and ran out side while raping herself in a towl.  ow when your a little kid, you think your so fast beating all the kids in the school yard and such. So i heard her yelling, "Wait! Alex! come back! Where are you going?!" But all i knew i had to do was to run up the drive way and then i'd be free. Or so i thought. my mom got me before even got half way there...

[Kid_Cortet]

My cat just did this.

I kept hearing random thuds coming from another part of the house, when I finally went to investigate, I found a torn up Cat Treats bag on the floor and the little cabinet in my cats room open. He had finally figured out how to open the door to his treats and tried to rip open the bag, he made some pretty good punctures into it. But he made his begging meow (yeah, he has different meows and I have heard them all lol) so, I HAD to give him a few, and had to put the rest into a box full of other treats. My cat is not stupid and is officially an addict to Cat Nip xD 

[Guest Mr. Mario]

Today, I was driving on a pretty empty street when I noticed a banana peel in the middle of the road, I swerved to avoid it. The person behind me ignored the banana peel, and proceeded to drive into a stop sign. Thank you, Mario Kart.

[Guest F0xmccl0ud]

Today, I was driving on a pretty empty street when I noticed a banana peel in the middle of the road, I swerved to avoid it. The person behind me ignored the banana peel, and proceeded to drive into a stop sign. Thank you, Mario Kart.

That's Hilarious  still laughing.

[Kid_Cortet]

Today, I was driving on a pretty empty street when I noticed a banana peel in the middle of the road, I swerved to avoid it. The person behind me ignored the banana peel, and proceeded to drive into a stop sign. Thank you, Mario Kart.

see.....Video games do influence life somehow xD

[FoxMcCloud]

Today, I was driving on a pretty empty street when I noticed a banana peel in the middle of the road, I swerved to avoid it. The person behind me ignored the banana peel, and proceeded to drive into a stop sign. Thank you, Mario Kart.

Odd, last time I checked, Cars had 4 wheels on the ground; The other 3 wheels would have traction, thus no hitting a stop sign.....( I know your joking I am too )

[The Shaper]

I was playing TF2 earlier that same day and we were having a hilarious conversation in which we talked about ideas for things that already exist. HEre' a few of the conversations:

Player1: "How about a game where your house is under attack by zombies and you use plants to defend it?"

Player2:"What would you call this game?"

Player1: "Plants vs zombies!"

Player:3 & 2 (They said different things but it was basically the same thing): "No such an idea couldn't exist."

Another conversation involving things that already exist in the TF2 universe that we were taking credit for, of course I'll only post one seeing as I could go all day quoting them.

Player1: "I got an idea for a new weapon that replaces scouts bat with a fish."

Player2: "What would you call it? Holy mackerel?

Player3: "No that's a lame idea."

It goes on for longer then that but I don't want to bother with boring you guys about it.