Asper Sarnoff Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 While written down for the lulz, this is indeed pretty much how it really is.#1 - Food and rest are only secondary needs for a soldier. His primary needs are covered by running marches, push-ups and "completed position".(The upright position of a push-up. For when someone in your troop is slow and you have to wait for them.)#2 - If a soldier have too little time to solve a task, he shall be given even less time to do it. Then he'll be able.#3 - Nothing is impossible. The impossible only takes longer time to accomplish. If it takes longer time to accomplish, rule #2 automatically comes into effect.#4 - The boss is always right.#5 - If, however unlikely it is, the boss is wrong, the boss decides who is right. In most cases, rule #4 is again applied.#6 - There is always room for more in your backpack.#7 - Nothing a soldier has ever done is "good". Either it's according to the standards set, or too bad.#8 - Everything that moves is to be saluted or greeted. Everything that doesn't move is to be moved. Everything that's to heavy to move is to be bolted down. Everything that is bolted down is to be painted.#9 - Soldiers don't get cold. They just turn blue.#10 - For a soldier, room washing is one of the primary abilities which decides ones combat prowess. It's therefore the officers responsibility to ensure the soldiers are drilled properly in it.#11 - A soldiers combat prowess is directly proportional to the weight of his gear and equipment and to the distance he's been carrying it, but reversely proportional to the amount of food eaten and rest granted. In addition to the above factors, a field spade to the groin or the skull contributes noticeably to improve combat prowess.#12 - Only useless soldiers calm down up front to let those lagging behind catch up.#13 - Mercy be upon those who try to run in the gaps!#14 - The more messy and dirty a soldier is, the more operational he is.#15 - If something simple can be turned difficult, it's the officers responsibility to make sure so happens.#16 - Everything which is difficult, broken, or doesn't work properly, is defined as field conditions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixie Darkmatter Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Wow, that just sounds horrible. I don't understand how soldiers can put up with it. It almost seems as if an officer's only job is to make you guys feel bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Yoshi Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I easily believe the often used statement that your life will change forever when (and if) you come back from the military. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
"User" Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I'm still finding it...intriguing that Norway, Finland, and a few other smaller countries in European still have some form of conscription...apparently Germany has it but plans to abolish it.More on topic though yeah, the military is a tough life. I've read a lot similar things that Asper brought up in this topic from other friends. One of which is: "In boot camp yes, you really CAN shave, shit, and shower in 5 minutes". :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Yoshi Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 "In boot camp yes, you really CAN shave, shit, and shower in 5 minutes". Sounds more like a superpower. O_o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
"User" Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Sounds more like a superpower. He also said something along the lines of: "Being really good at laser tag helps with the firing range" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Yoshi Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 He also said something along the lines of: "Being really good at laser tag helps with the firing range"Oh, I'm sure. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asper Sarnoff Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I'm still finding it...intriguing that Norway, Finland, and a few other smaller countries in European still have some form of conscription...apparently Germany has it but plans to abolish it.Yeah, but only roughly 1/6 of each year is picked out for service. Not impossible to avoid it at all if you play your cars wisely. I can't say I regret at all going in, but I won't regret leaving again in the summer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milkyway64 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Wow, that just sounds horrible. I don't understand how soldiers can put up with it. It almost seems as if an officer's only job is to make you guys feel bad.This.I couldn't handle the military just because it'd piss me off to no end. I'm NOT an army guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Yoshi Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 This.I couldn't handle the military just because it'd piss me off to no end. I'm NOT an army guy.I just don't think I'd be able to go a day without head-butting my sarg' :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Shaper Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 These "rules'' are exactly why I'm aiming for officer. So far, I'm not there yet. apparently Germany has it but plans to abolish it.About 20,000 of their 90,000 soldiers are conscripts, the rest are professional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxMcCloud Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 "In boot camp yes, you really CAN shave, shit, and shower in 5 minutes". Oh yeah, it truly is very true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asper Sarnoff Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 These "rules'' are exactly why I'm aiming for officer. So far, I'm not there yet.Hehe, don't for a second believe that'll be any better. Not if you count in the hazzle of being accepted into officer school. That is if your system is remotely similar to ours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Shaper Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Hehe, don't for a second believe that'll be any better. Not if you count in the hazzle of being accepted into officer school. That is if your system is remotely similar to ours.I know, but if I was an officer I'd get more respect, more money, and have to do less traveling. Of course I'm proud to be in the military in general. Our systems aren't much different, follows the same format as you guys do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Soldier doesnt get cold, he only turns blue? THEN he dies!Also, why would number 5 even be in the list at all if the Boss gets to decide who is right? He's obviously going to choose him/herslef as the right person. So....that point is invalid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Shaper Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Soldier doesnt get cold, he only turns blue? THEN he dies!Also, why would number 5 even be in the list at all if the Boss gets to decide who is right? He's obviously going to choose him/herslef as the right person. So....that point is invalid.These aren't the actual rules these are just the rules the soldiers make up. Sad as it is, most if not all of them are correct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 These aren't the actual rules these are just the rules the soldiers make up. Sad as it is, most if not all of them are correct.Ahh...that explains alot ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asper Sarnoff Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Soldier doesnt get cold, he only turns blue? THEN he dies!Also, why would number 5 even be in the list at all if the Boss gets to decide who is right? He's obviously going to choose him/herslef as the right person. So....that point is invalid.Nope. Dying is forbidden. It decreases your combat effectiveness.Well... Perhaps because that's the whole point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matrilwood Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 The ultimate defense is to never be seenThe ultimate offense is to never missA commander is one man, one man can make mistakes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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