Calvin Ball

[ballisticwaffles]

Through out the multiverse, there was chaos. The evil AStley empire had over taken the holiday of macy's parade. His agents, the dreaded back up dancers, enforced His unholy rule, mainly by dancing and cleening up suicides. But that was many many sentices ago and now the aformentioned galaxy only knows peace.

Sort of.

Now the land/space/other body of ruleable substance is ripe for his unholy return. As he said himself

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

But thats later, let us see what our protagonists are dooing before Astley attmepts to mess up their day.

[Sluggsnipa]

But thats later, let us see what our protagonists are dooing before Astley attmepts to mess up their day.

Sluggsnipa looked from the top of an antique cruise ship,it was a bright and sunny day...

He hummed a gentle tune.

"Up,up,on Melancholy hill...a manatee."

He looked like an average boy,about the age of 13,but inside him was an aging soul,an Enigma,dying to be let out.

He gently patted the back of his head.He could switch bodies.

He had two bodies,a Cybernetic Slug,and the body he was born with,the one he was currrentlyy using.

His soul yearned for adventure,for stimulation. He got what he wished for,unfortunatley.

He stood calm on the deck of a flaming ship.

A bolt of red flashed by.He flinched,but held his ground.

He wished he had stolen that gun,pirates were swarming the decks,but they didn't notice him.

He was a genius,a mad scientist,driven by thoughts,wantings,and fears,he looked at the destruction around him.

He walked like he was bored,he walked to the edge of the ship,he was about to jump...

"LIKE,HOLD IT!"

A voice boomed. A gun was pointed at the back of his head.

Sluggsnipa closed his eyes and smiled,it made him feel less powerless.

"LIKE,OUR BOSS WANTS YOU!"

Sluggsnipa thought he sounded like an 80's backup singer.

Sluggsnipa paused and turned around,with his eyes still closed.

"Your boss can kiss my-"

Sluggsnipa fell into the abyss below while the ship abrubtly sank in a flaming fireball.

Sluggsnipa swam to shore in a hapazardly manner.

He recognized the shore.

"Shit..."

"Plastic Beach..."

Sluggsnipa grabbed at the feeble little phone in his pocket,he fingered a couple of numbers,and...

"Hello,I need a lift..."

A feminine voice echoed through the phone and then the phone crackled and died.

"I hope Murdoc likes me..."

Sluggsnipa climbed up and was imediatley stopped by a familiar Japanese voice.

"Halt,or I blow you head off!"

[Arashikage]

(I had permission from the GM)

Kage looked down at the planet below him, from the USS Charlemagne, the planet was blue and beautiful, it made him want to puke. He turned around and was startled by a purple vixen standing behind him.

"Jesus Christ Elektra!" He shouted, taking his hand off his sidearm, he slowly relaxed, "What is it?" He finally asked

"You know the jeep in the cargo hold?" She asked

"Yeah... The World War II one that my grandfather gave to my father and he gave to me before he died?" Kage asked in return

"Yes, that one. Uhh, I think there's water in the carbeurator." Elektra stated, scratching the back of her neck

"What makes you say that?" Kage questioned, his suspicion aroused

"Uhh, call it intuition?" Elektra said quite nervously

"Alright, where's the jeep?"

"In the pool..."

Kage facepalmed, shaking his head, they had a POOL? This was all news to him. He looked back at the planet, "We should get a move on, don't you think?" He asked

"If you say so, Commander, I'll get ready" The purple vixen said, nodding as she walked off to her quarters to get her gear ready. Kage moved to his comlink, putting it on and flipping the switch, "This is Cherry Blossom calling Papa Bear, all poptarts are heading to the supermarket and ready to be shipped to Grandma, repeat, all poptarts are heading to the supermarket and ready to be shipped to Grandma"

[Sluggsnipa]

(I had permission from the GM)

Kage looked down at the planet below him, from the USS Charlemagne, the planet was blue and beautiful, it made him want to puke.

Sluggsnipa suddenly ran from the Japanese girl,she was a cyborg,a clone of one of the Gorillaz band members.

Sluggsnipa got his bluetooth,that he stole,from his pocket and quickly called a furry friend of his...

"GENE?KAGE,MR.N,JESUS?LORD HELP MAH SOUL,I NEED HELP!"

He screamed as the Cyborg just barely missed his forearm.

He kept running in a feeble attempt to escape Plastic Island.

[CrypticQuery]

(I'm sorry, that last bit of Kage's post had me laughing so hard I could barely bring myself to type anything )

A large sedan coasted through the streets of Corneria City; it was bright white in color, with dark tinted windows and steel wheels. A uniformed patrol officer, in this case our very own Zeke, sat at the wheel, attempting to stay focused on the task at hand. Though he was traveling on an open road ahead with limited traffic, no calls were being broadcast, and little else was going on. He sighed, taking a look at his surroundings as he passed them by. "You'd think this part of town would have SOMETHING going on," he thought as he eyed the graffiti-laden buildings and dilapidated structures.

[Arashikage]

(Get on AIM Crazy, and STAY THERE)

Kage got into his pod, not hearing the transmission that was sent to his -Encrypted- commlink. He strapped himself in, wearing his body armor and all, closing the door. He put his hand up to his ear "Alright, Pastries, listen up!" He barked "We gotta go deep into the south stretches of the concrete rainforest and retrieve the cream filling before the lazy eyed pirates get a hold of it, y'hear?"

"Hooah!" Was the unanimous reply that came into his earpiece. His short briefing being done, he opened the glass cover on the drop button, "Dropping in five, four- Aww screw it, NOW!" He yelled as he pressed the button, and all seven armor clad soldiers were dropped out of the ship, careening toward the planet at very high speeds

(I have to go soon, but I will be back at around 9ish)

[Sluggsnipa]

Sluggsnipa ran and ran,as fast as his tiny legs could take him.

She was catching up.

Sluggsnipa reached in his pocket,he rumaged for something.

"AH HA!"

He pulled out a snub-nose colt revolver,he fired,but nothing but wet gunpowder came out.

He was dead now.

He screamed one last time into his earpiece.

"GODANMIT!"

He was despratley calling all of his contacts for help.

[CrypticQuery]

After some time of driving into the endless void that was the highway system of Corneria City, Zeke pulled off to the side of the road, hoping to catch a traffic violator or two. As he parked and readied the radar gun, a call finally came out over the radio; "All units, ZONE 3, possible armed 2-11 in progress at McCloud's Magnificent Milkshakes." His ears perked up at this, and he knew the time for action was now. After flipping on the emergency lights and sirens, he pushed the pedal to the floor, sending the car hurdling off in the direction of the shop. In mere minutes he arrived, only to find several clowns, with bags full of stolen merchandise, hopping into a single sub-compact vehicle. As he pulled up behind the car, it lurched and sped off, and he gave chase, still quite baffled at this circumstance.

[Sluggsnipa]

Sluggsnipa ran,but fell.

He yelled for help but no one would hear him scream.

The cyborg peered over him one last time.

"Good-Bye."

Sluggsnipa stumbled on himself.

He was at a loss for words,his life,his beautiful life,up in smoke.

Then the monster of a robot tumbled over in a heap,with a bullet loged in it's back.

A willowy figure was perched on a rooftop,he held a long,narrow gun.

The figure waved to Slug.

"Yeah,thank you very much friends,I got my life saved by a complete stranger..."

[Arashikage]

All of a sudden, in a burst of bright yellow and orange flame, the car in front of Zeke's cruiser exploded. Out of the flames came one man, human no doubt, wearing black airtight armor. He was carrying a rifle fitted for deep space combat, and had slight dark red lining on his armor. He looked around "God Dammit! This isn't the Bakery!" He cursed, shaking his head. He then put his hand to his earpiece, "All units RTB, this porridge is too hot, repeat, this porridge is too hot!"

[Guest Mr. Nintendo]

A ninja, standing on the roof of General Pepper's office building was standing and looking over to view Corneria from a pretty tall height. The ninja himself had his arm crossed and didn't speak, for he was...silent. (Except if someone knew sign language...from a ninja.)

The ninja's name was Mr. N, his real name...unknown. After about 2 mintues of standing on top of a building, he decided to jump down and land near the bushes that were close to one of the street lights. He had to keep himself quiet and stealthy...maybe even a cardbard boix could do the trick.

[Sluggsnipa]

Sluggsnipa gazed at the figure,he was instantly recognizable (to him).

He had Black shadows for eyes and bluish-violet hair,he was the lead singer for the Gorillaz,he was 2-D.

Then Sluggsnipa muttered something to himself.

"Danm,I know A LOT about the Gorillaz,or anything on the internet,for that manner...I feel so Obsessed..."

The figure disapeared once Sluggsnipa turned his back.

"Fucking brilliant,I am now stuck on an Island with no backup,and my only hope to get off this peice of crap is gone!"

"On the other hand,I am stuck on a place where the Gorillaz hanged out."

"Squee!"

"My phone still works,might as well be calling somone...Zeke,Perhaps?"

He dialed the number and waited.

[CrypticQuery]

All of a sudden, in a burst of bright yellow and orange flame, the car in front of Zeke's cruiser exploded. Out of the flames came one man, human no doubt, wearing black airtight armor. He was carrying a rifle fitted for deep space combat, and had slight dark red lining on his armor. He looked around "God Dammit! This isn't the Bakery!" He cursed, shaking his head. He then put his hand to his earpiece, "All units RTB, this porridge is too hot, repeat, this porridge is too hot!"

The cruiser was traveling too fast to stop now; Zeke spun the wheel as hard as he possibly could to the right, only to have the car continue to travel at the same speed. It skidded, flew into the air, and barrel-rolled sixteen times before coming to rest on all four wheels in a nearby ditch. Quickly, he kicked the door open and jumped out, only to have the vehicle spontaneously combust and subsequently implode. "DAMMIT, THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!," he yelled in rage as he looked back toward Kage and gave him a "WTF" look.

[Sluggsnipa]

The cruiser was traveling too fast to stop now; Zeke spun the wheel as hard as he possibly could to the right, only to have the car continue to travel at the same speed. It skidded, flew into the air, and barrel-rolled sixteen times before coming to rest on all four wheels in a nearby ditch. Quickly, he kicked the door open and jumped out, only to have the vehicle spontaneously combust and subsequently implode. "DAMMIT, THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!," he yelled in rage as he looked back toward Kage. (<That could totally rhyme if Kage was pronounced like cage! )

Somone awnsered the phone,but all Sluggsnipa heard was a "DANMMIT THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!" and an Explosion.

"Well,might as well enjoy my stay..."

Sluggsnipa checked to see if Mr.N had called back to an earlier call.

He glanced at the final contact on his phone,it was someone who could help,but he didn't want her near him

for a prolounged period of time,due to the fact that she might cause mental breakdowns. He had only met her once,at a

party SHE hosted,and it went on for 12 hours,STRAIGHT and the whole time she was yelling and

hooting,and stuff,she was the last person to drop from exhasution,and then she got back up. Her friends said

she was like this ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

He winced,he was in a state of total confusion.

"Mr.N,please pick up...."

[Guest Mr. Nintendo]

Now inside the bush, Mr. N crept out and tried not to make it rustle or else he would be exposed to everyone. Taking small steps backwards, he slowly got out of the plant and sneaked away to a nearby building to find some cover...but then he stepped on something that made noise, a clown nose. Although the ninja couldn't speak, you could probably say he said "Who the hell puts a clown nose near a bush?!?"

With the sound waves spreading around the city, the ninja dashed away into a ally that was near a barbershop and a diner.

[Sluggsnipa]

Now inside the bush, Mr. N crept out and tried not to make it rustle or else he would be exposed to everyone. Taking small steps backwards, he slowly got out of the plant and sneaked away to a nearby building to find some cover...but then he stepped on something that made noise, a clown nose. Although the ninja couldn't speak, you could probably say he said "Who the hell puts a horn near a bush?!?"

With the sound waves spreading around the city, the ninja dashed away into a ally that was near a barbershop and a diner.

Sluggsnipa tried Everyone's number again,cursing himself for acting so pathetic.

[Arashikage]

The cruiser was traveling too fast to stop now; Zeke spun the wheel as hard as he possibly could to the right, only to have the car continue to travel at the same speed. It skidded, flew into the air, and barrel-rolled sixteen times before coming to rest on all four wheels in a nearby ditch. Quickly, he kicked the door open and jumped out, only to have the vehicle spontaneously combust and subsequently implode. "DAMMIT, THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!," he yelled in rage as he looked back toward Kage and gave him a "WTF" look.

(Crazy! GO ON F**KING AIM!)

Kage started toward the fox as several jetstreams were able to be seen behind him from his troops pulling out. "You didn't see anything" He said "It's all in your mind." He didn't really think it was going to work, and was ready to fight his way out should it be necessary.

[Sluggsnipa]

(Crazy! GO ON F**KING AIM!)

Kage started toward the fox as several jetstreams were able to be seen behind him from his troops pulling out. "You didn't see anything" He said "It's all in your mind." He didn't really think it was going to work, and was ready to fight his way out should it be necessary.

Sluggsnipa proceeded towards the shoreline,seeing another ship in the distance.

Then reality faded from veiw.

"WTF?"

Sluggsnipa said as he got up from his bedside,looking through the window.

It was like always,his dreams...

He was exploring his mind in his dreams,everything was going smoothly,but then,it happened,like it always did,

some unknown enemies always sabatoged it,this has been going on for about 2 months. Then,someone from his imagination or

a hero from the internet would come and save him when times looked it's bleakest.He regarded this dream with more concern,

he had less control.It felt,real...

Sluggsnipa was using his 13-year old body,his natural one,the one he could dream with. Sluggsnipa was growing very concerned

with the enemies showing up in his dreams,they all sounded the same...but he never saw them.

Sluggsnipa noticed some smoke rising through the buildings of Corneria,he went to investigate...

When he arrived,it was more chaotic than it first seemed.

[CrypticQuery]

Kage started toward the fox as several jetstreams were able to be seen behind him from his troops pulling out. "You didn't see anything" He said "It's all in your mind." He didn't really think it was going to work, and was ready to fight his way out should it be necessary.

"HOREH SHET!," he yelled in reply as he stared awestruck; completely forgetting everything he had just seen. Within moments he began to laugh, and then exploded, sending bits of organic matter everywhere. Several seconds later, he respawned behind Kage, completely out of breath. "Som-Someone ejected the disc and put it back in without a reset!," Zeke yelled, completely wary of any other shenanigans going on.

[Arashikage]

"But that's madness!" Kage shouted, and then out of nowhere, the voice of Leonidus boomed "THIS... IS... SPARTA!!!!" and Kage got ready to punt a small animal off a cliff. Noticing there was nothing there to punt, he turned to Zeke "Who are you?" He asked

[CrypticQuery]

"Now I would say that I was the muffin man, though he was convicted of manslaughter last evening and was denied parole, there are going to be documentaries EVERYWHERE!," Zeke replied, conjuring up the most realistic possible. He quickly produced a list of cliches. "I'm your worst enemy, I'm your worst nightmare, I'm your greatest challenger, I'm your waiter, I'm here to see the missus, I'm CRAZY EDDY WITH EXTREME DEALS!" With that done, he quickly threw the list into the sky, and it became a role of toilet paper. As the roll landed it switched into sandpaper. "Now I'd like to ask you that same question!"

[Sluggsnipa]

"Now I would say that I was the muffin man, though he was convicted of manslaughter last evening and was denied parole, there are going to be documentaries EVERYWHERE!," Zeke replied, conjuring up the most realistic possible. He quickly produced a list of cliches. "I'm your worst enemy, I'm your worst nightmare, I'm your greatest challenger, I'm your waiter, I'm here to see the missus, I'm CRAZY EDDY WITH EXTREME DEALS!" With that done, he quickly threw the list into the sky, and it became a role of toilet paper. As the roll landed it switched into sandpaper. "Now I'd like to ask you that same question!"

Sluggsnipa watched with intent,he came up to them out of curiosity,but he remained in the shadows.He muttered something.

"Muffin man,oh,I get it! Trying to troll in real life..."

[Arashikage]

But since they were in a street in the middle of the day, there were no shadows and Kage noticed Slugg right away, "Wait, who are you?" He asked, looking at the newcomer "And where'd you come from?"

[Guest Mr. Nintendo]

Now in the between the dark allies, Mr. N jumped inside a dumpster to look for a cardboard box to use it as his disguise to convince someone that it's just a harmless package of fun. After digging through some garbage, he found some cardboard and got out of the dumpster. He then with some glue that was in a corner stuck each piece together and later, the box was successfully crafted.

Now slipping in the box, the ninja crawled out of the ally and stopped near a diner. He hoped someone wouldn't lift the box up...

[Sluggsnipa]

But since they were in a street in the middle of the day, there were no shadows and Kage noticed Slugg right away, "Wait, who are you?" He asked, looking at the newcomer "And where'd you come from?"

"I'm Sluggsnipa,your regular,run of the mill child genius!"

Sluggsnipa paused.