Long-Distance Relationships

[FoxMcCloud]

Also, if that comment made you giggle, you have a very dirty mind, and i am ashamed of you.

Damn... XD

[Sabre]

This relationship thread has no negativity. I say to the original post that nay, long distence relationships cants work, because outside of idealic versions of real events, I have never ever seen it work irl.

[Fluxy]

This relationship thread has no negativity. I say to the original post that nay, long distence relationships cants work, because outside of idealic versions of real events, I have never ever seen it work irl.

And I have never seen someone who was open about being transgender, but it does not mean one does not exist.

There doesn't need to be negativity really at all, as if you have read most of it, we even said that it is hard as crap to succeed with. But we also admit it is possible so long as both people can afford it, and are overall strong people. [Just a small description for everything as I do not wanna write an essay]

[Robert Monroe]

This relationship thread has no negativity. I say to the original post that nay, long distence relationships cants work, because outside of idealic versions of real events, I have never ever seen it work irl.

Its worked for me just fine for several years. Several years, which, have NOT all been sunshine and happiness. So good sir herp your derp.

[Steve]

Sabre said they don't work, so I guess they don't work. Damn, I must snap myself and be real, because I've been living in a lie.

Good to have you back, by the way.

[Thu'um]

This relationship thread has no negativity. I say to the original post that nay, long distence relationships cants work, because outside of idealic versions of real events, I have never ever seen it work irl.

sir, to say that a a test a human affection can not endure over a long abbsense, is to completly underestimate it.

[Sabre]

And I have never seen someone who was open about being transgender, but it does not mean one does not exist.

There doesn't need to be negativity really at all, as if you have read most of it, we even said that it is hard as crap to succeed with. But we also admit it is possible so long as both people can afford it, and are overall strong people. [Just a small description for everything as I do not wanna write an essay]

I have read it. It's only a few pages. I'm not in a great mood atm, so I left most of my negative comments on this thread in my head. For example, I want to give Redeemers comment about everyone being dumped at some point a massive slam. I want to give Genes comment about the jail bait waiting game a slam as well. Those are off topic though. I too didnt and still dont want to write an essasy.

Another element that is not family friendly and if it was, could derail the thread. Check out Teledildonics for more on that.

But as to your point. I have said in the love life topic many times why what people say about relationships, and the reality, are 2 very very different things. People claim they want nice guys, then go off with arse holes. People claim to be after personality, but go for money and looks. People claim they have an idealic long distence relationship that they tough through the hardships with the power of love. The reality is paranoia about cheating, constant mini break ups, arguments and of course, affairs. What people report is very different from the reality.

As always, I will change my opinion on this. I want to have my opinion changed on this. Show me it irl, not some unvarifiable forum posts or some mushy e-mails.

Sabre said they don't work, so I guess they don't work. Damn, I must snap myself and be real, because I've been living in a lie.

Good to have you back, by the way.

Don't worry, it's only temporery. I'll be gone and out of your hair soon enough.

[Milkyway64]

I have read it. It's only a few pages. I'm not in a great mood atm, so I left most of my negative comments on this thread in my head. For example, I want to give Redeemers comment about everyone being dumped at some point a massive slam. I want to give Genes comment about the jail bait waiting game a slam as well. Those are off topic though. I too didnt and still dont want to write an essasy.

Another element that is not family friendly and if it was, could derail the thread. Check out Teledildonics for more on that.

But as to your point. I have said in the love life topic many times why what people say about relationships, and the reality, are 2 very very different things. People claim they want nice guys, then go off with arse holes. People claim to be after personality, but go for money and looks. People claim they have an idealic long distence relationship that they tough through the hardships with the power of love. The reality is paranoia about cheating, constant mini break ups, arguments and of course, affairs. What people report is very different from the reality.

As always, I will change my opinion on this. I want to have my opinion changed on this. Show me it irl, not some unvarifiable forum posts or some mushy e-mails.

Don't worry, it's only temporery. I'll be gone and out of your hair soon enough.

Translation: bitter bitter bitter rage pessimism tea and crumpets

[Xortberg]

But as to your point. I have said in the love life topic many times why what people say about relationships, and the reality, are 2 very very different things. People claim they want nice guys, then go off with arse holes. People claim to be after personality, but go for money and looks. People claim they have an idealic long distence relationship that they tough through the hardships with the power of love. The reality is paranoia about cheating, constant mini break ups, arguments and of course, affairs. What people report is very different from the reality.

As always, I will change my opinion on this. I want to have my opinion changed on this. Show me it irl, not some unvarifiable forum posts or some mushy e-mails.

You know, I was going to come in here and attempt to lay you out like I normally do, but as I read your stupid post I realized something. Despite all your claims to have enlightened us so about how love is dead and all that other stupid shit, you have never once submitted a single shred of verifiable proof as to your claims. You are the one making an assertion here; the burden of proof, therefore, is on you. Not on any of us. In any case, Steve/Sissi and Fira/Asper are both verifiable evidence as to the plausibility of a long-distance, long-term relationship. We've given more proof than we even need to in the face of your empty claims and feeble arguments.

You are in the minority here. It is not up to us to prove to you that love exists. You are making the claim. Back it up or shut up. Thanks.

And yeah, like Steve said: It's good to have you back :D

[Drasiana]

Did Sabre just ask to be shown a working long-distance relationship...in real life?

...ooookay.

That logical fallacy aside, Xortberg hit the nail on the head just as to why that was one of the most inane posts in the thread. All I see is the crying of a self-professed "nice guy" who would rather blame the wicked fascinations of everyone else rather than examine his own faults...which is the kind of person frequently encountered online and off.

Because obviously the way you've felt about your relationships must apply to everyone who has ever had one, right?

[Star Fox Runner]

You know, I was going to come in here and attempt to lay you out like I normally do, but as I read your stupid post I realized something. Despite all your claims to have enlightened us so about how love is dead and all that other stupid shit, you have never once submitted a single shred of verifiable proof as to your claims. You are the one making an assertion here; the burden of proof, therefore, is on you. Not on any of us. In any case, Steve/Sissi and Fira/Asper are both verifiable evidence as to the plausibility of a long-distance, long-term relationship. We've given more proof than we even need to in the face of your empty claims and feeble arguments.You are in the minority here. It is not up to us to prove to you that love exists. You are making the claim. Back it up or shut up. Thanks.And yeah, like Steve said: It's good to have you back

Did Sabre just ask to be shown a working long-distance relationship...in real life?...ooookay.That logical fallacy aside, Xortberg hit the nail on the head just as to why that was one of the most inane posts in the thread. All I see is the crying of a self-professed "nice guy" who would rather blame the wicked fascinations of everyone else rather than examine his own faults...which is the kind of person frequently encountered online and off.Because obviously the way you've felt about your relationships must apply to everyone who has ever had one, right?

Well said my friends, well said.

[Milkyway64]

Don't mind him, Sabre's done this since he's been here. I'd be raging too if he hasn't pushed his behavior beyond itself and into self-parody.

[Thu'um]

i stabd by xort's excelent post and point

[Robert Monroe]

I'm too busy loling at XortBERG to actually give any fucks right now.

[Fira-Astrali]

Sabre, when Asper and I travel to England, I am going to FIND you XD

Seriously tho, no one said that LDRs are all much lovey and perfect, its just that when shit goes down, that's something that needs to be kept between the two in the relationship, or at least thats how i feel for the most part.

[Sabre]

Did Sabre just ask to be shown a working long-distance relationship...in real life?

...ooookay.

That logical fallacy aside, Xortberg hit the nail on the head just as to why that was one of the most inane posts in the thread. All I see is the crying of a self-professed "nice guy" who would rather blame the wicked fascinations of everyone else rather than examine his own faults...which is the kind of person frequently encountered online and off.

Because obviously the way you've felt about your relationships must apply to everyone who has ever had one, right?

Logical Fallacy eh? I'm not the one who has it wrong. You can't prove a negative. You are the one with the flawed thinking.

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Negative_proof

Again, you have no evidence except unvarified testimonials, which I already said, are often made up or exagerated.

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Testimonial

Hmm. What podcasts do you listen to? I heard the exact same argument on a podcast the other day. That or you are a someone popular/good looking I guess?

[Steve]

I have a photo album!, that should count for something. :whistle:

[Sylum]

I think the couple of LDRs we have here are proof enough that they work.

[Redeemer]

For example, I want to give Redeemers comment about everyone being dumped at some point a massive slam.

But I love it when you talk dirty to me.

But as to your point. I have said in the love life topic many times why what people say about relationships, and the reality, are 2 very very different things. People claim they want nice guys, then go off with arse holes. People claim to be after personality, but go for money and looks. People claim they have an idealic long distence relationship that they tough through the hardships with the power of love. The reality is paranoia about cheating, constant mini break ups, arguments and of course, affairs. What people report is very different from the reality.

Now, let me break this down and reply accordingly. First: girls want nice guys then chose arse holes. Yes, this happens. But step back for a second, Sabre, and think of it this way - who would willingly go out with a douche? Maybe girls that can handle their attitude, sure, but let's say, for example, a girl like me. I've had my share of arse holes (bahahaha) in the past. But it's not like I met the guy, saw him being a douche and still thought dating him was a good idea. Guys can be just as misleading as girls, if not more. It's called acting to get into pants. Girls can do it, guys can do it. We're both guilty, but the way I see it, you're acting like the girls are the only ones at fault here. That's not the case. Guys are assholes, yes, but they're damn good at hiding it.

Secondly: Money and looks over personality. This one I can sort of agree with you. A lot of women know what they want in life, and sometimes that's money. They're called gold-diggers, and they're everywhere. But think of it this way: do you even want a woman like that? I don't think so. And if you do, perhaps you should rethink what you want from a woman instead of slamming what women want of a man.

And looks, sure, it helps to be attractive, because everyone has their own level of attraction, and whether you admit it or not - looks do help. Dating someone you're not physically attracted to is tough, because half the battle to loving someone is physical attraction - and you need to be physically attracted someone in order to be sexually attracted. It's part of the sub-conscious desire to breed, and we all have it because we're human.

Don't get me wrong, if I met this super hot guy but he was a total ass, I wouldn't take interest in him. Why? Because (I don't know about anyone else here) when I see how ugly someone is on the inside, I begin to see it on the outside. They may have the perfect face, but when I learn their expressions when they're lying, cheating, being mean, etc. I begin to not want to look at them.

Thirdly: Long distance relationships and fears of cheating, fighting, mini-break ups and affairs. That doesn't exist in just long distance relationships, but I know you already know that. My point is, going into a long distance relationship is a choice. It is your choice to be with someone you can't see every day, hold hands with and hang out with. And with that choice, you must understand that cheating is much, much easier to do. But it's all about believing in the person you want to be with.

Trust is a huge issue, I realise this and I agree with you whole-heartedly there Sabre. But it's a risk that some people are okay with taking, and the reason to that is something we may never understand. But it happens, and you know what? Sometimes it works out okay.

Look at Steve, for example - it's obvious how much he loves Sissi, just as it's obvious how much Asper loves Fira. I honestly believe there has been no cheating on either side - because they LOVE EACH OTHER. If you love someone, why would you ever want to cheat? So, in a way, long distance relationships are perhaps more "meaningful" than real life ones because you're making a larger leap of faith.

Sure, there will be paranoia and fighting, but that exists in any relationship, in my opinion. It's just a risk you chose to take.

[Milkyway64]

I love how Sabre ignored Xort's point and still parades about how right he is. I do have to say that it's worth getting modded for stating that he's a moron troll deliberately here to piss people off while ignoring everything that would shut him up.

[Redeemer]

Look, let's not fight about this, we're all entitled to our opinion. We can explain our point of view, but that's all. Let's not start name-calling here.

[Robert Monroe]

I just want to know what exactly Sabre is saying about long distance relationships that doesn't work. Is it that the love isn't real? That they never ultimately succeed (and what defines ultimate success at that)? Is it that they're not perfect happy-dappy romances? What is the exact burden of proof that is on us?

Also, Sabre, saying relationships don't work because you've never seen them work IRL is fallacious. I could very well says all relationships work because I've never seen one FAIL IRL, herpaderpa. We can't conjure physical "proof" beyond personal experiences, but your entire arugement is built on your OWN personal experiences. Please remove your enormously bloated head out of your tight asshole, please.

[Drasiana]

Logical Fallacy eh? I'm not the one who has it wrong. You can't prove a negative. You are the one with the flawed thinking.

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Negative_proof

Again, you have no evidence except unvarified testimonials, which I already said, are often made up or exagerated.

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Testimonial

Hmm. What podcasts do you listen to? I heard the exact same argument on a podcast the other day. That or you are a someone popular/good looking I guess?

You're citing a Wiki on "rational thought" and expecting me to take that as evidence? For the record, I don't listen to podcasts, but I do have something of a life and I'm perfectly happy without having to rigidly adhere to what you consider "rational". You said "I have yet to see a long-distance relationship work in real life", which made no sense to me because "long distance" often happens over the internet. What you're seeing here is...about as good as it gets, really. And whether or not I have "evidence" (what do you want, the fucking chatlogs between my boyfriend and I for all seven months we've been together?) will never be good enough for you because the only way to justify your own unhappiness is to project it upon everyone else.

Thank you for implying that I'm popular/good-looking, by the way. We all know snap judgements equate to rational thinking, but I'll just take this one as a compliment.

Here's my two cents on nice guys:

It's a facade, just like "jerks". I'm not talking about legitimately nice guys, either. Those exist. The thing is, legitimately nice guys don't go around whining about how no one's lining up to suck them off for being so nice. The "nice guy" ploy is just another way to get tail and you know it, it's just going about it a different way. And really, I find it far more devious when a guy behaves "nicely" in attempts to get sex because, at the heart of it, it's a lie. At least jerks will straight up tell you "yup, I want sex", and sometimes girls, yup, just want sex too. Assholeish, maybe, but it's honest. Unlike the "nice guy" that constantly compliments a girl, opens the door for her, picks up her pencils, and then runs off to bitch on internet forums about how he hasn't gotten any yet.

Most of my friends are guys, you see, and legitimately kind ones (ie. don't constantly cry about the plight of the Nice Guy). They make good friends...AND boyfriends, for the girlfriends they have. Fun fact is, a lot of real nice people don't think of themselves as being "nice people"...just people.

Stop using a stupid Wiki as your comfort blanket and try socializing with real people like a real person does. Some FOREVER ALONE asshole on the internet isn't exactly going to pursuade the great majority of us with partners that we aren't in love based on his virginial whining.

[Star Fox Runner]

Thirdly: Long distance relationships and fears of cheating, fighting, mini-break ups and affairs. That doesn't exist in just long distance relationships, but I know you already know that. My point is, going into a long distance relationship is a choice. It is your choice to be with someone you can't see every day, hold hands with and hang out with. And with that choice, you must understand that cheating is much, much easier to do. But it's all about believing in the person you want to be with. Trust is a huge issue, I realise this and I agree with you whole-heartedly there Sabre. But it's a risk that some people are okay with taking, and the reason to that is something we may never understand. But it happens, and you know what? Sometimes it works out okay. Look at Steve, for example - it's obvious how much he loves Sissi, just as it's obvious how much Asper loves Fira. I honestly believe there has been no cheating on either side - because they LOVE EACH OTHER. If you love someone, why would you ever want to cheat? So, in a way, long distance relationships are perhaps more "meaningful" than real life ones because you're making a larger leap of faith.Sure, there will be paranoia and fighting, but that exists in any relationship, in my opinion. It's just a risk you chose to take.

I agree wholeheartedly with this statement Redeemer. Whether it's a long distance relationship or not, sometimes it takes a flying leap of faith, and you hope to god that you'll land on your feet. And if it turns out in the end that it doesn't work, well then you fucked up and you'll have to live with that, plain and simple. But you shouldn't give up and not even try just because you're afraid of that happening. Because if your leap of faith pays off, then you have something beautiful.

That's been my mentality throughout my current relationship right now. I love my girlfriend, I met her here as a matter of fact and some of you know her from awhile back. I legitimately love her even though she live in Texas about 3 states away, and I am going to work my damned hardest to make this relationship work, even though I know that it might not. And if it does collapse on me, then I'll have to live with the fact that it did, even though I lost several years of my life.

But I would be content knowing that I at least tried and fought for her every step of the way instead of giving up and running away with my tail between my legs. And I'll be damned if somebody else's "infallible logic" convinces me otherwise.

[Gene Inari]

Also, love and logic hardly get along. Applying something like logic to something lofty and personal like love is like trying to mix oil and water. It just doesn't work. I think the outrage at your post, Sabre, shows. If personal anecdote isn't good enough for you in this topic, then nothing is.