Long-Distance Relationships

[Sabre]

I think the couple of LDRs we have here are proof enough that they work.

No, they are not. I could just as easily say I have 15 girlfriends, with no varification, by your logic, you'd have to take my word on that as evidence. Not only that, what is the cutoff point for a relationship to be successful? Marrage? Living together? Given that the current LDRs are still that, I disagree. Better evidence is required.

But I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Now, let me break this down and reply accordingly. First: girls want nice guys then chose arse holes. Yes, this happens. But step back for a second, Sabre, and think of it this way - who would willingly go out with a douche? Maybe girls that can handle their attitude, sure, but let's say, for example, a girl like me. I've had my share of arse holes (bahahaha) in the past. But it's not like I met the guy, saw him being a douche and still thought dating him was a good idea. Guys can be just as misleading as girls, if not more. It's called acting to get into pants. Girls can do it, guys can do it. We're both guilty, but the way I see it, you're acting like the girls are the only ones at fault here. That's not the case. Guys are assholes, yes, but they're damn good at hiding it.

Secondly: Money and looks over personality. This one I can sort of agree with you. A lot of women know what they want in life, and sometimes that's money. They're called gold-diggers, and they're everywhere. But think of it this way: do you even want a woman like that? I don't think so. And if you do, perhaps you should rethink what you want from a woman instead of slamming what women want of a man.

And looks, sure, it helps to be attractive, because everyone has their own level of attraction, and whether you admit it or not - looks do help. Dating someone you're not physically attracted to is tough, because half the battle to loving someone is physical attraction - and you need to be physically attracted someone in order to be sexually attracted. It's part of the sub-conscious desire to breed, and we all have it because we're human.

Don't get me wrong, if I met this super hot guy but he was a total ass, I wouldn't take interest in him. Why? Because (I don't know about anyone else here) when I see how ugly someone is on the inside, I begin to see it on the outside. They may have the perfect face, but when I learn their expressions when they're lying, cheating, being mean, etc. I begin to not want to look at them.

Thirdly: Long distance relationships and fears of cheating, fighting, mini-break ups and affairs. That doesn't exist in just long distance relationships, but I know you already know that. My point is, going into a long distance relationship is a choice. It is your choice to be with someone you can't see every day, hold hands with and hang out with. And with that choice, you must understand that cheating is much, much easier to do. But it's all about believing in the person you want to be with.

Trust is a huge issue, I realise this and I agree with you whole-heartedly there Sabre. But it's a risk that some people are okay with taking, and the reason to that is something we may never understand. But it happens, and you know what? Sometimes it works out okay.

Look at Steve, for example - it's obvious how much he loves Sissi, just as it's obvious how much Asper loves Fira. I honestly believe there has been no cheating on either side - because they LOVE EACH OTHER. If you love someone, why would you ever want to cheat? So, in a way, long distance relationships are perhaps more "meaningful" than real life ones because you're making a larger leap of faith.

Sure, there will be paranoia and fighting, but that exists in any relationship, in my opinion. It's just a risk you chose to take.

I'd discuss points 1 and 2 with you, but I feel we have done plenty in the past.

You're citing a Wiki on "rational thought" and expecting me to take that as evidence? For the record, I don't listen to podcasts, but I do have something of a life and I'm perfectly happy without having to rigidly adhere to what you consider "rational". You said "I have yet to see a long-distance relationship work in real life", which made no sense to me because "long distance" often happens over the internet. What you're seeing here is...about as good as it gets, really. And whether or not I have "evidence" (what do you want, the fucking chatlogs between my boyfriend and I for all seven months we've been together?) will never be good enough for you because the only way to justify your own unhappiness is to project it upon everyone else.

Thank you for implying that I'm popular/good-looking, by the way. We all know snap judgements equate to rational thinking, but I'll just take this one as a compliment.

Here's my two cents on nice guys:

It's a facade, just like "jerks". I'm not talking about legitimately nice guys, either. Those exist. The thing is, legitimately nice guys don't go around whining about how no one's lining up to suck them off for being so nice. The "nice guy" ploy is just another way to get tail and you know it, it's just going about it a different way. And really, I find it far more devious when a guy behaves "nicely" in attempts to get sex because, at the heart of it, it's a lie. At least jerks will straight up tell you "yup, I want sex", and sometimes girls, yup, just want sex too. Assholeish, maybe, but it's honest. Unlike the "nice guy" that constantly compliments a girl, opens the door for her, picks up her pencils, and then runs off to bitch on internet forums about how he hasn't gotten any yet.

Most of my friends are guys, you see, and legitimately kind ones (ie. don't constantly cry about the plight of the Nice Guy). They make good friends...AND boyfriends, for the girlfriends they have. Fun fact is, a lot of real nice people don't think of themselves as being "nice people"...just people.

Stop using a stupid Wiki as your comfort blanket and try socializing with real people like a real person does. Some FOREVER ALONE asshole on the internet isn't exactly going to pursuade the great majority of us with partners that we aren't in love based on his virginial whining.

Trolly McTroll. Using symantics and memes as your best counter? You have no case and are resorting to bullshit. I'm sure the idiots here will find your post hillarious and informative. The rest of us aren't fooled.

I agree wholeheartedly with this statement Redeemer. Whether it's a long distance relationship or not, sometimes it takes a flying leap of faith, and you hope to god that you'll land on your feet. And if it turns out in the end that it doesn't work, well then you fucked up and you'll have to live with that, plain and simple. But you shouldn't give up and not even try just because you're afraid of that happening. Because if your leap of faith pays off, then you have something beautiful.

That's been my mentality throughout my current relationship right now. I love my girlfriend, I met her here as a matter of fact and some of you know her from awhile back. I legitimately love her even though she live in Texas about 3 states away, and I am going to work my damned hardest to make this relationship work, even though I know that it might not. And if it does collapse on me, then I'll have to live with the fact that it did, even though I lost several years of my life.

But I would be content knowing that I at least tried and fought for her every step of the way instead of giving up and running away with my tail between my legs. And I'll be damned if somebody else's "infallible logic" convinces me otherwise.

Finally, someone who get's it. Iirc the statistics are really bad for long distence relationships. Compaired to regular couples only 8 LDRs make it to marrage. I don't know if that stat is accurate but it's what I heard, and because this kind of thing is self reported with the focus on the possative to save face it's pretty much impossable to find anything accruate. Even if it does get that far it's an ordeal compaired to a regular couples. As such, the only real option is my own data, ie. RL experience. I have seen plenty of couples over the years. All my RL friends are in relationships.

So, let's say for sake of argument that the regular success rate is 30%. 2 guys I knew are still with their frist GF, another had dozen or so BFs so, but most have a few of teenage flings and settle down, so that's where I get the 30% from.

Now, LDRs, some of those said flings, and a large amount of those BFs. Success rate- 0. Not 1 success, even if we expand past people I know on a first name basis, not one of them is or succeed at LDR. One married a woman from another country, but they met and dated locally. So yes, by experience intercontinental relationships are more likely to succeed then LDR.

[Drasiana]

You insult me for using "Forever Alone" in the very last line of a multi-paragraph response, and yet all you can do to counter my entire post is call me "Trolly McTroll, which is bullshit in itself as despite your opinion troll does not simply refer to "someone who disagrees with you".

And that's what this boils down to. Disagreements. Obviously nothing I or everyone else in this topic can say can change your mind because you're perfectly happy with a fleshlight and stash of furry porn and/or the forum posts stroking your own ego that you obviously use as masturbatory aid. Have fun repelling those around you with your vitrol. My argument boiled down to this: the thing about real nice guys, is that they're actually nice. You...aren't.

By the way, do you know what the World English Dictionary's third definition of semantics is?

Logic. And if you'd bother to read every other definition, you'd realize how retarded it is that you're telling me that I use the meaning of words to argue.

Edit: By the way it's good time as ever to point out you're just quoting anecdotal bullshit yourself. Try some "real" evidence (ie. articles off a trusted site, not a fucking wiki) before making such asinine claims.

[Robert Monroe]

Sabre, I have like 4 folders worth of photos from visiting my girlfriend spanning from 2007 until 2010 (I've yet to visit her this year). I also have about 50 or so chat logs (maybe more) of us being wonderfully and sickeningly mushy, also spanning from about 2006 until literally yesterday. If you want proof, there it is.

A relationship is considered successful so long as it persists. When it ceases to persist, it is a failure. And here's another thing: we HAVE discussed FAILED LDRs in the topic. Maybe you missed that because your head is still up your ass it seems. User in particular brought some of his up.

Now, if you are saying that LDRs are LESS successful than personal relationships, thats different, and probably true, because they're harder to maintain. If not, then goddamn fucking specify what it is you're bitching about, you weeping blubbering vagina of a man.

[unoservix]

My favorite part about watching Sabre shake his fist angrily at a world that doesn't want to have sex with him is the part where it's crushingly, devastatingly obvious why the world doesn't want to have sex with him, but hey, let's not be too exclusive here.

First of all there's my favoritest part in the whole wide world yes it is yes it is yes it iiiiiiiiiiiiis:

This relationship thread has no negativity. I say to the original post that nay, long distence relationships cants work, because outside of idealic versions of real events, I have never ever seen it work irl.

which are like the most awesomely textbook examples of hasty generalization and anecdotal evidence that I've ever seen, what with the whole "I have never seen a long distance relationship work out, therefore long distance relationships do not work out, and do not mind how I am not omniscient and do not know every person on Earth who is in a long distance relationship because FACTS ARE UNNECESSARY WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR CONCLUSIONS"

*ahem*

No, they are not. I could just as easily say I have 15 girlfriends, with no varification, by your logic, you'd have to take my word on that as evidence.

Judging by your posts here, I'd say you'd need a lot more evidence on your side for that.

Having fifteen hands must make glove-shopping pretty expensive, though. I mean, jeez, you can't even buy pairs 'cuz you'll have one left over.

Not only that, what is the cutoff point for a relationship to be successful? Marrage? Living together? Given that the current LDRs are still that, I disagree. Better evidence is required.

Look at those goalposts go! A minute ago they were nice and still on "successful relationship," with its pretty obvious and contemporary definition of "happiness and fulfillment together," but now they're positively dancing their way over to "marriage" or "living together," both of which are pretty laughably bad metrics for relationship success, what with all the toxic marriages and abusive live-in relationships and divorces and stuff.

Also lol at working so hard to define your terms in such a way that the only conclusion one can come to using them is that long distance relationships are doomed to failure and you are all better off locking yourself in your parents' basements, staring at Rational Wiki and cursing the opposite sex for its insolence in failing to fall out of the sky into your lap and sex you up despite your glaring apparent personality flaws.

Then again, a relationship with your hand is actually remarkably short distance, so, um, never mind.

Using symantics and memes as your best counter?

Symantec! Your first line of defense against godawful arguments with specious logic!

You have no case and are resorting to bullshit.

*looks at TheDras's mighty fine, firm, taut, absolutely stunning case, which quite frankly I'm surprised you missed, what with having quoted it and all*

welp.

Finally, someone who get's it.

Oh goodie! When comes the part where you actually read what Star Fox Runner said and realize that it actually is like the complete 100% utter opposite of what you're trying to argue? Will there be candy? And ponies? PONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!

Iirc the statistics are really bad for long distence relationships. Compaired to regular couples only 8 LDRs make it to marrage. I don't know if that stat is accurate but it's what I heard,

Oh, but you're going to have to verify it, my pentadecuple-handed friend!

and because this kind of thing is self reported with the focus on the possative to save face it's pretty much impossable to find anything accruate.

Ah, handwaving, what can't you solve? Well, besides everything.

Even if it does get that far it's an ordeal compaired to a regular couples.

Another lonely data point in need of verification...

As such, the only real option is my own data, ie. RL experience.

bzzzzzzzzzzt

Incorrect! Why? Go look up Wikipedia's list of cognivitve biases that preclude you from using your experience as a foolproof measure of reality and get back to me when you have overcome them all. All of them. Every last one.

I have seen plenty of couples over the years. All my RL friends are in relationships.

I hate to break it to you man but When Harry Met Sally was just a movie.

Incidentally, this is where we could bring up when you said this

No, they are not. I could just as easily say I have 15 girlfriends, with no varification, by your logic, you'd have to take my word on that as evidence.

and say that by applying the same principle, I can quite reasonably dismiss out of hand your claim to "have seen plenty of couples over the years," your claim that "all my RL friends are in relationships," your implied claim that you have RL friends or just friends period, and even your claim to have fifteen hands, leaving you completely defenseless! CHECK AND MATE, HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?!

but we're doing so well, so i won't

So, let's say for sake of argument that the regular success rate is 30%. 2 guys I knew are still with their frist GF, another had dozen or so BFs so, but most have a few of teenage flings and settle down, so that's where I get the 30% from.

Now, LDRs, some of those said flings, and a large amount of those BFs. Success rate- 0. Not 1 success, even if we expand past people I know on a first name basis, not one of them is or succeed at LDR. One married a woman from another country, but they met and dated locally. So yes, by experience intercontinental relationships are more likely to succeed then LDR.

lllllllllooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllll hi there anectodal evidence, are you the "better evidence" Sabre said we needed to decide that long distance relationships aren't going to leave you lost, alone, impotent, and impoverished for ever and all time? Or does that honor go to the meaningless statistics he retrieved during a thorough geological survey of his rectal cavity?

The worst part here, Sabre, is that I'd agree with you that long distance relationships are much harder to pull off to the mutual satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment of both partners, if that was what you were arguing. But you're not. Instead you're basically the "logical fallacies and poor reasoning" chapter of an introduction to logic and critical thinking textbook brought to life by some nightmarish black magic and twisted science gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Don't worry, though. The new assholes? They'll heal up.

---

also hi everybody, i'm unoservix, and i want to be your friend C:

[Redeemer]

Alright guys, keep this civil please. There's no need to get so passionate.

[Sarita]

Sabre, I have like 4 folders worth of photos from visiting my girlfriend spanning from 2007 until 2010 (I've yet to visit her this year). I also have about 50 or so chat logs (maybe more) of us being wonderfully and sickeningly mushy, also spanning from about 2006 until literally yesterday. If you want proof, there it is.

A relationship is considered successful so long as it persists. When it ceases to persist, it is a failure. And here's another thing: we HAVE discussed FAILED LDRs in the topic. Maybe you missed that because your head is still up your ass it seems. User in particular brought some of his up.

Now, if you are saying that LDRs are LESS successful than personal relationships, thats different, and probably true, because they're harder to maintain. If not, then goddamn fucking specify what it is you're bitching about.

Quoted because Sabre has you blocked, and it's a good point. Also removed the most excellent line ever said, it was funny, but also mean.

[unoservix]

well, actually, my favoritest favoritest favoritest part of allllllllllllllllllllllll is that this very thread proves that long distance relationships work, because we apparently all have a long distance relationship of hatred for Sabre.

which is just so wonderful.

[Sarita]

You're funny, you should go make an intro topic RITE NAO. Hurry before I get attached and find out everything I loved about you was a lie. ;_;

[Robert Monroe]

Unoservix I goddamn lol'd.

[Sabre]

Alright guys, keep this civil please. There's no need to get so passionate.

Just let them. I ignored them when they started posting memes. If anything you should feel sorry for them as they are only teenagers. This is likely their only safe outlet to try and look cool and hip and rebelious.

I'm not sure if I'll check back later to see if anyone else who I care about has actually posted. I really doubt it though unless Fira recommends it.

They have their opinions either based mostly on idealized fantasies, or tainted by the very thing I mentioned previously. I have mine based on my RL experience. I really doubt it will change until I see it irl. There is nothing more to discuss. I will say that I believe people are being dishonest by posting an ideaized version of LDRs though.

[unoservix]

oh man, you're special

we're gonna get along juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

however, no stunningly profound rejoinder to my doubt of your honesty about your "friends" and "experience" and "hands," i see

[Drasiana]

I like how me saying that you'll be forever alone instantly invalidates everything else I said.

Yeah, we're all teenagers. Except for the people in their twenties.

I don't know how saying "yeah, romance" is rebellious considering people generally tend to kind of like romance. You're the only one here desperately trying to discredit the "norm".

At least your apparent aversion to relationships means you'll never spawn.

[unoservix]

i should add that i greatly enjoy it when someone who assiduously hides their own age starts sneering at what he assumes to be the ages of other people

but oh yeah right MISSION ACCOMPLISHED LOL

[Gene Inari]

Yeah. I'd love to think my LDR at the time was, as you seem to think it, idealistic.

I've lived with my fair share of pain in my oh-so-dreamy relationship with a girl you could safely say is "damaged goods." But I stuck through with it because I cared about this person, distance be damned. I have my own experience to speak of, which apparently isn't good enough for your own "experiences."

[Drasiana]

Yeah, as soon as a LDR goes down the tubes all he can do is shout HAHA TOLD YOU SO.

But the 50% or so divorce rate says that people breaking up is kind of normal in any situation.

Edit: I'd also like to mention the fact that my boyfriend living on another continent is hardly "idealized". This does not negate my feelings for him, however. We can't all be sociopaths, I guess.

[Prince Elite]

100% of all divorces started with marriage, remember that

["User"]

Just letting you guys know to cut out unneeded drama or I'll once again start editing/deleting stuff - especially if I multiple people reporting the same things.

[Deploy]

100% of all divorces started with marriage, remember that

[DZComposer]

Levels of logical argument in this thread have dropped below the acceptable level for debate threads.