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When life gets confusing!


Thu'um

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Well....Haha :lol: star fox has played a large role in my life that i still have yet to fully understand. I got really into the game after playing assault alot. In the begging it was just a game , but it evolved into something more. When? i'm not really sure but i can remember the characters all feeling like family to me. fox and Krystal more so then any of the others. being an early teen i drew alot of strength and morals from the two characters. At that point they were already large figures in my life; however, i could never comprehend the full largest impact they would have on my life. it must have been 4 years ago now....I got command from a friend just learning of it's existence only a few days before. I played it pretty intensely....but when i finished the first plot route, i was devastated. Fox was a brother to me at that point and he was in a really bad part of his life. But i finished all the endings hoping to find some hope. i found a few okay ones but :/ the rest were worst then the first. at the end of story 9 i even ended up crying. I went to bed with tears rolling down my cheeks. When i woke up the next morning i felt the strangest emotion. To describe it now is hard but, i felt as though some one had reset me. I remembered every thing but it felt like it was a different me who had done those things. like i had done them in a different life....weird right? The next months following i acted quite differently. i sat in class and just thought "who the hell am i ?" . i suppose with out fox as a model of sorts i felt lost. I struggled to find my sense of self. well the feelings faded eventually, and i feel quite fine now, but i am not the same. :blush: to this day i still remember my eyes opening that morning, i don't think i'l ever forget what happened. there is alot more to the story, but i my self don't know what most of it means or why it effected me. But star fox played a large role of who i am today, and probably, just maybe who i'll be tomorrow

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Oh God, D: it happened again. update

After i found out the endings to command in november 2009 i was broken. I felt an emotion i had never felt before. i know that the game wasn't real but the the emotions were.... I went to sleep crying. when i woke up i had forgton who i was, er, well its very hard to explain. I lost my since of self. I still knew my name and remembered everything, but my personality at that moment was non existent like i had just came into existance. What ever happened a large chunk of my self was torn away. I totaly started over. i had to decide how to act and what to do...it was very weird.

However, it happned again just yesterday. I have had several events since november the climaxed last night. I once again feel with out a personality. I know its sounds really weird if anybody can relate to this or tell me why i feel this i would like that. :( so deprresed right now

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bitchslap.jpg

snap out of it

I cannot fathom how on earth Command inspired anything more ominous than an exasperated eyeroll from anyone, but I'm willing to bet it upset you so because many of the endings did not fall into a realm of black-and-white cookie-cutter endings that you have come to anticipate and, though poorly-written, still differed significantly from the status quo "good conquers all and yadda yadda" that you seem to fully support

You didn't "lose your sense of self" so much as you saw something end in a fashion outside your expectation or hope and came to question your perception of right and wrong. And if you're feeling that again--outside the realm of an overreaction to a generally bad video game, anyway--then it probably just means you're growing up. Which can be a confusing and bizarre experience, to be sure, but everyone goes through it and you overcome it by embracing alternate perspective and change and not worrying about your own perspective of yourself because it tends to be wholly inaccurate.

Making some assumptions, here, but you didn't exactly give a lot to go on.

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bitchslap.jpg

snap out of it

I cannot fathom how on earth Command inspired anything more ominous than an exasperated eyeroll from anyone, but I'm willing to bet it upset you so because many of the endings did not fall into a realm of black-and-white cookie-cutter endings that you have come to anticipate and, though poorly-written, still differed significantly from the status quo "good conquers all and yadda yadda" that you seem to fully support

You didn't "lose your sense of self" so much as you saw something end in a fashion outside your expectation or hope and came to question your perception of right and wrong. And if you're feeling that again--outside the realm of an overreaction to a generally bad video game, anyway--then it probably just means you're growing up. Which can be a confusing and bizarre experience, to be sure, but everyone goes through it and you overcome it by embracing alternate perspective and change and not worrying about your own perspective of yourself because it tends to be wholly inaccurate.

Making some assumptions, here, but you didn't exactly give a lot to go on.

yes i know its probably the dumbass chemicals being pumped through my body. In any case command did upset before, however i ended up not being the game i was upset with. but thats for another time. This time it happned to some personality crap. i was being a jerk in RL and some other problems and it all kinda came down and blew back at me. None the less i feel much better i am acting more like my old self(back in july) which is good :-) i like it and i think this whole thing was for the better.
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Been really busy this weekend, we went through evolution in biology and quite frank i've had a little trouble belivign it all. Its neat stuff though.

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well i have trouble talking to really pretty girls...its a real problem. today i sat right next to the girl have a crush on and could barely bring myself to say anything. D: but in the lunch line this random girl came up to me and told me i had nice eyes and i had no problem talking to her D:

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Aww Ajc, give it time, you'll be able to talk to cute girls when you're ready to. :)

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I'd like to say i am turning over a new leaf on sfo, i really just act like an idot on here and its begun to anger a few members and even cost me some respect. So i probably be a little more serious from now on, :-) but still old ajc, so don't worry.

On that note sfo is distracting me from the 6 essays i have to write D:

i am looking for an old maritn avatar, you might see it show up soon

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I'd like to say i am turning over a new leaf on sfo, i really just act like an idot on here and its begun to anger a few members and even cost me some respect. So i probably be a little more serious from now on, :-) but still old ajc, so don't worry.

On that note sfo is distracting me from the 6 essays i have to write D:

i am looking for an old maritn avatar, you might see it show up soon

Does this mean you won't be as arrogant during our very few, very short Steam conversations?
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Does this mean you won't be as arrogant during our very few, very short Steam conversations?

yes a little ;) , but i hope you know i wasn't really being arogent as much as i was just joking with you.
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Alright guys, its been a little while since i have entered a log, but hey! life has been good.

There is a girl i like and try to talk to alot, but i doesn't help that we are both really shy around each other :( and as soon as we start to talk things get akward FAST. But the ice is starting to break so prehaps progress there can be made......

made a youtube vid today for the first time in mounths!

Working on my resumay for colloge, i'm aming to get into west point. Its a difficult task, but not impposible. Right now i'm on good track.

I have been praying alot less. :/ I can't help it. i forget

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There is a girl i like and try to talk to alot, but i doesn't help that we are both really shy around each other :( and as soon as we start to talk things get akward FAST. But the ice is starting to break so prehaps progress there can be made......

Lol, I've met a person like that. It's annoying when both of you are too shy around each other. ><

I have been praying alot less. :/ I can't help it. i forget

Out of curiosity, are you catholic?

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Out of curiosity, are you catholic?

why yes, i don't really hide it or anything but how did you guess?
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i am really starting to have it with a certian member here....0_0 feel like i am beign driven to leave

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why yes, i don't really hide it or anything but how did you guess?

Well... it was obvious you're a religious person. I'm a Cristian myself, I'm just not catholic.

I hit 4000 thousand sfo posts and didn't notice :o PARTY!

Can't wait 'til I hit that mark. Go you! xD

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Well... it was obvious you're a religious person. I'm a Cristian myself, I'm just not catholic.

Can't wait 'til I hit that mark. Go you! xD

what type? methodist, baptsist ect. ?
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what type? methodist, baptsist ect. ?

Baptist. Though I believe that asking God's forgiveness is what saves you. Not baptism. Baptism is just a ceremony thing that shows that you are a believer. And if you don't do it, it's not a big fat hairy deal. But you should.

At least, that's what me and my folks believe :-)

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