Thu'um Posted October 20, 2012 Author Share Posted October 20, 2012 Huh, doesn't sound like a very good school. Then again, a lot of public schools are like that. we're actually pretty impressive academically, but when you have 4000 students its easy to have things get out of control Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjrathbun812 Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Well, I was talking about how kids act in the schools... not exactly how good the school is in grades or scores or whatever. Just meant how bad society has gotten and all that jazz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 my new sig puts me at comfort. I dunno why but martin's words allways put my at peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Gah! I hate spite, or stereotyping. Feeling unable to change because of what people expect of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 i am thinking of changing my avatar, Martin gaze is too intense..... Stinks Elder scrolls online is gonna be a subscription type game i'd rather pay 60 dollars i was going to watch paranormal activity 4 but i hear it stinks. The latest presidential debate was a horrible display of poor character for both Romney and Obama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Ah back to my old faithful of all avatars, i think i'll keep it for a long while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Shaper Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Ah back to my old faithful of all avatars, i think i'll keep it for a long while. No distracting Santa hat either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 25, 2012 Author Share Posted October 25, 2012 No distracting Santa hat either. I am saving that for the holidays, although i feel as if there is a rather large gap above his head with out it lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 Damn I really need a name change and now there illegal. I'm very much done with the name ajc, just don't feel it describes me anymore :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 well, i am a failure, at life that is. I fail when ever there are expectations for me, i always disappoint people, and myself. I'm just so stupid i want to hurt myself, seriously jump out the window and of my room and break both my legs. Don't worry i won't, the disappointment is enough. This doesn't sound like the normally happy ajc, but I'm just tired of failure and i am finally just calling out how much i suck. I can't even start to explain it. I don't know what i'm even saying. I just what ever i'm done. On another note i am pretty much done with TF2, i'll play with you guys sometimes but i pretty much have lost my interest in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjrathbun812 Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 well, i am a failure, at life that is. I fail when ever there are expectations for me, i always disappoint people, and myself. I'm just so stupid i want to hurt myself, seriously jump out the window and of my room and break both my legs. Don't worry i won't, the disappointment is enough. This doesn't sound like the normally happy ajc, but I'm just tired of failure and i am finally just calling out how much i suck. I can't even start to explain it. I don't know what i'm even saying. I just what ever i'm done. On another note i am pretty much done with TF2, i'll play with you guys sometimes but i pretty much have lost my interest in it. I've had that feeling before... I really felt like I was worthless, and like I sucked at everything. I'm not sure if this will help, but in all honesty, this song brought me right back up to spirits again. No joke. I don't know... you might think it's silly, but eh. *quietly leaves room* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 Thank you, your post makes me sad becuase i'd hoped i was alone. No one should feel that. But i'd also like to make a request that no one posts in my journal till i feel better, really just don't want to talk with anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 Had a much better day, and feeling much better after a hard day of work at school and at wrestling. firstly i scored a 98 on my AP Euro history test, that score is unheard off, even in a class that has the best students public education has to offer. Also i'm a little less confused unlike the last 3 days and a lot less angry with most of you. However, I'm still a little sore. I have been under a lot of stress, I got home at 7:00 pm and have 5 hours of home work. So we have begun learning about the romantic period, a literary period of history where writers based lessons and assumptions not on logic and reason but emotion and intuition. I love it. Not only because I have always been a very strongly emotion person, but i have come to disagree with logic lately. It makes me sour when an individual thinks logic is the answer to most anything. Hence my new status, " I would rather be lame then strong if it required me to conform, I would rather be radical then logical if it required me cast aside emotion". Rather proud of it, since i made it myself. I'm sure some of you will disagree. I don't care. Its also in my personal text, from a work called Faust. the devil refers to logic as a tool men use to justify actions and commit crimes against morality. I'm sure i'll also receive hell for this one, but how are you going to convince me to believe something else, logic? To describe my brief and current mind set i would use the phrase temporarily insane, It's a little hard to think clearly, but now i can think harder. I can't describe any impulses i have as other then spontaneous and pointless, thus insanity. It may seem i have finally gone off the deep end, from here on its only natural i follow the steps of sabre and lead my self to expulsion from the site. But i don't plan to, and don't think it will happen. What you should take away from this is that it will end, and i'm not sure how.... Also silence in this topic is provoked, feel free to respond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjrathbun812 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Indeed, logic does not give answers to everything. But what it does do is help us to convey our thoughts, as well as facts, in a reasonable way. The problem with basing our thinking off of our emotions is that we would end up making rash decisions, and give in to thoughts, no mater how ridiculous they may be. You are a very emotional young man, anyone can see that. You let your feelings speak for you, and there are many things you, along with everyone else, do not understand. Thus, speaking from the heart is a very good way of expressing oneself. However, trying to sort out your thinking based off your emotions is a very, very messy task. We are human beings! Our emotions are inconsistent! It is not reasonable to communicate with others this way if our decisions are heavily impacted on what we feel, and if what we feel is all over the place. But, logic and emotion are two very important things. Logic shows us things in a clear, sensible way, while emotions allow us to express ourselves based on our point of views. 'Tis my two cents. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 I know my i'm not making any sense at convaying what i feel, but this is more of a log. I can understand what it means.....thats the important part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icy Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I can see what you mean, Ajc. Going with what you feel is often best, as long as you can understand and control those feelings. Good luck with stuff. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 i am back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Martin's tomb. Its sad but it has that staple calm that martin always seems to display while at the same time being intense. His person demmanding respect for all he has done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 I'm smaller then most people 5,5 at 120 pounds and most people, i think under estimate me because of it. Maybe one of the reasons i love martin? He didn't let anything dictate or sway his will. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 I had a feel good day, beat the number 5 kid in this state with a chest injury. Try'in stop me world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 Hm, what to say? I feel as if i am neglecting this journal a little out of laziness. I'm super busy with school, guys. I get home from wrestling practice at 7 and then ussualy do home work for a couple of hours and still have much need projects to be done that i ussualy end up having to spend my week ends doing We found a cool church in down town Charleston called Saint Marry's. It was the first catholic church established in The Carolinas and Georgia. I friend who will be getting tf2 on his new gamming pc some time with in the next 3 months will convinced to return the game. But i don't really have a class that satisfies. And i've tried them all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 Well its been 4 days since my last post. : / I hate how busy i am, I feel stressed out to work on school work all the time! I'm also doing poorly in some classes and need to focus heavily on them. I don't know how i am even gonna have time for anything junior year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 Really getting in to poetry, think i'd like to write some when i have the chance. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redeemer Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 One thing I love about your journal, ajc - you're so honest with yourself. How are you doing recently? Everything okay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted November 16, 2012 Author Share Posted November 16, 2012 One thing I love about your journal, ajc - you're so honest with yourself. How are you doing recently? Everything okay? Thanks, that means alot. I just spit out what i think. I am stressed. I start the day by waking up at 6 and preparing for school. Going to a new school isn't hard. I have made alot of aquintences but real friend are hard to make. i hope to make more when i have more free time. Anyway, i get to school around 7:30 becuase i'm behind in an engineering. then history then blah then blah. School ends at 3:40 but i don't get home till 6:30. Then i do home work all night FUN! other then that i really live a nice place, so nice that i'd like to retire here. I am enjoying my classes interms of the subject matter( i could use less work though). And I'm making good grades. I keep finding myself at an impass ;however, with the roccuring question of what i will do for a living. The problem isn't not being smart enough, or lack of funds. But i want to do so many things! I have been thinking alot about it, and i don't want to choose somthing and end up wishing i had done somthing else. before i start writing poetry, i need to read a bunch. My period intrest is the romantic period. Its not romatic like a chick flick. Its all about passion, and discovery, and intiuation. The writer seaks to convay strong emotions or morals, and to be honest from some of what i read, i absoulty love the stuff. Esspeically la belle dame sans merci, by keats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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