When life gets confusing!

["User"]

Your school has a brony club?

[Thu'um]

yes

["User"]

You really need to tell me about this club sometime.

[Gestalt]

I guess you need more than a thousand posts to be in Ajc's dreams

[Thu'um]

I guess you need more than a thousand posts to be in Ajc's dreams

Ahaha! 

Maybe, but i'm sure i was probably thinking of them right before i fell asleep. 

 

 

 

You really need to tell me about this club sometime.

Eh. I can't really talk about it. I don know much. 

[Thu'um]

Well its been 4 days!

 

Les Miserables is officialy my favorite movie aswell as my favorite book.

 

I am quite busy with school. New semester begins the week after next and with it new classes. I hope i have people i know in some of my classes.

 

I am kind of lonely

[Snys93]

Les Miserables is officialy my favorite movie aswell as my favorite book.

 

The book was long. Half of it was Fantine's back story and misery.

[Thu'um]

The book was long. Half of it was Fantine's back story and misery.

This is true, but i loved it all.

 

 

So I wrestled off for the 120 pounder slot on our team thursday and won, which ment i got to participate in the county tournament this weekend. First day i wrestled 4 guys and pinned half of them, and the seconed day i wreslted two pinning my first and teching( meaning i beat him by 15 points) my championship opponent. I recieved a large trophy, calling my "King Of the county" and a free T-shirt. So its was awesome.

[Thu'um]

More on that, we wrestled our rivals monday and beat them for the first time in school history . We're gonna get one of thoase cool rafter hanging things that will proclaim our victory for the rest of our schools existence. I think it was easy to try hard knowing you contributed to something unending, infinite and large then one's self.....

 

Hm, is miserable freedom, or privileged "slavery" better?  

 

 

Recently i have developed a mental attitude towards challenges i find to be rather proud of myself for. I think it is: boldness. Let me explain. When growing up with hero's like martin, or such, things bravery confidence, etc. have always been valuable traits to me. They make you a man. But sometimes i look at myself and ask, could i do what they have done? To e able to cast concern for their own safety, or future away to help others. TO be able to be fearless. A lot of people tell me bravery is not being unafraid, but acting despite fear. Maybe its true. But Martin was FEARLESS, his determination drove him near to death. He is a fictional character, and that is important to remember i know. But still I am sometimes afraid, and i become slightly ashamed because i am not fearless and i place so much value on that. But recently i discovered something deep inside. A flame some might call it, but i think i found that determination. I don't know what exactly lead up to it. I think it had something to do with our studying of Danton. As he went to the chopper he proclaimed his only regrets being the Robespierre had out lived him .

[Thu'um]

Well, i am back. Won another match tonight. Our position as region champs is pretty much undeniable now. 

 

Also i realized today how little contact i have with he opposite sex. I legitimately need some friends who are girls. 

 

(i forgot, Since finals in all my classes are done very few people showed up at school. So i was in my class with 4 other people, one of whom was this really cute girl i had never really....Well i didn't think I stood a chance, and i was a little nervous too. So we talked for a little bit and asked if we had a match( which we did) and if it was home. I answered yes. Maybe she was being polite or.....  who knows my friends....who knows....

[Thu'um]

So at our tournament this weekend the hotel didn't have enough room for all of us, so a couple guys had to stay in the Honey moon suit, which had a hot tub

Then after we made it to the finals we had nothing to do for 2 hours so we got in our bus and drove to the park. Lol, we all got off in our singlets and played on the playground while these extemely confused parents were trying to figure out what was going on, and trying to keep their children safe. Then we went a blared techno out the bus while we drove circles around a Buffalo wild wings

We ended up getting 2nd, which kinda sucked, but i went 3-0 so i guess did my part.

New classes Tuesday, i'm excited really.

[Thu'um]

I finished the walking dead( the game) . The ending really makes you evaluate the choices you make. It was like an evaluation of my choices. Some of which I didn't really seem important at the time. But when forced to look back at them they weren't the man's action. It's only a game, and that's important to remember but still. I was forced to answer for my actions even though they seemed correct or necessary at the time. Like stealing food or finishing this one bad guy off.....

[Thu'um]

Don't judge guys, or you will be humbled  

 

Other then that, i had a kick ass day. Really hot girls in my chemistry class. That is all. Back to work. 

[Thu'um]

As TESO comes near a friend and i are hoping to form a guild. Any and all instrested should message me on steam.

 

Ever crush some ones dreams? I mean to seriously know that they want somthing so bad, and you do to....But only one can have it and its either take it or have it taken. And feeling their dissapointment and distraught, thinking it could have been you....

 

I'm really stressed out. Wrestling is keeping me out late, and i'm having tiny meals. That with tons of school work. I have a super large research paper that is so stupidly due in incriments. So now i'm comming home around 10 or 11 and having to write a couple of paragraphs rather then just lay it off till the weekend where i can work on it.

 

However, wrestling has been largly successful. We are the first ever reigon champions in our school's history, and i will be wrestling 120 at reigon. lower state and state tournament where i have the potential to place really well this year. Possibly at 3rd place. Which would make me the 3rd best in the state. Thats a long way away yet though and alot of tough competetion infront of me before i'm there.

 

This morning i had a redwall flash back....meaning i felt an emotion i clossely associate with redwall. I think it was my sense of adventure. I went out side and it was foggy. Breathing in that cool air.... i felt like i was with martin again, on the trail.....I miss my DEEP devotion to the series. I've been meaning to re-read some of the series but i havent really gotten to it. I know their only books, but when i read them i esscape realality. I am actualy there you know?

[Thu'um]

Well, I am the new region champion. I pinned my final guy in 1 min.  

 

i also get to go to be in the prep rally tomorrow  

[Gestalt]

We should wrestle ^__^

[Thu'um]

We should wrestle ^__^

deal

 

 

Anyway

 

I am thinking of a new steam title to go by for a little while, but i can't think of one...

[Thu'um]

*sighs* well guys I have been slacking of the frequent posting, I know. So game nights are making a come back which I'm excited for. Also dragon born dlc is excellent. I will be playing elder scrolls online.... My friend is pretty excited for it. If it turns out to suck....well then ill just stop paying for it. Also it the last new game I plan to play. I am a sophomore as of now, but come next year ill only have a short amount of time to really work for getting into college. It's a little scary growing up I turn 17 in July.....I was only 13 years old when I joined here. I smiled when I said that. But it was sort of a sad smile. Looking back this community has had a lot of good times, and we probably will have a lot more to come. Jeeze I basically have grown up on here. But I guess I am sad because, well..... I'm not exactly sure. Reflecting on the past just makes you miss it. I'm sure those of you who were here before myself have even longer memories. I wonder will we continue to grow up here together? There are a lot of people who have broken away from us, which is only the way of things, but what will happen. Will I always know icy, and lone wolf and user? It seems just as unlikely for the people who have been in my life so long to disappear as to remain in contact for years to come. Moving on from that, one of these days I need to take this journal and save it to a document. I don't want to loose all of this. Back to growing up. As a kid my favorite feeling was adventure. I guess it was all the redial. But nothing appeals to me more then the open road. But adventure in these days isn't the same. Obviously in a literal since, since I can't just become some wanderer. But in as I move closer to college I'm thinking of a career. I have tons of interests in chemistry, history, literature, mathematics, engineering, and the armed forces. The problem is making a decision I can be satisfied and happy with. For now that means trying to get into West Point and becoming an officer. Possibly with a degree in chemistry or engineering or chemical engineering. But while it may bring that adventure I want. There is a lot I don't exactly love about the military. So part of me wants to lead a civilian life still( which is equally respectful) but that's giving up a lot of my child dreams.....more over, and I'm going to sound like a selfish conceded bastard, i want to go down in a history book. That's a motivation from a long way back, but I want something here on this earth so that I am not forgotten. Thinking about all the people who die only to be nobody to anybody with Ina few generations. That's always scared me. I remember my mother talking about it. She said " I have made an impact on enough people's lives to know I've changed this world for the better and I'm satisfied". Is it bad that I want that though? It's not the most noble ideal. But.....I don't know. So far this conversation has been pretty heavy. It's also taken a ton of time to type on an I pad. But to get back on topic my point a out careers was as a civilian my opportunities for being uh, famous I guess arnt really there. *sighing* explaining this whole ordeal is a little confusing. I don't know why I'm doing it either. Anyway any comments are appreciated regardless of what you have to say. Sincerely a confused ajc

[Thu'um]

Its been 9 days, and ussualy i don't slack off on my posting but the last post was enough for me to feel as if i had posted enough for a little while i guess. So, status update. I'm ranked at #5 in the state heading into the state tournemnt. I have the fourth seed though. And since its only an 8 man bracket i only have to win twice to make it to the championship. But these matches will be the hardest i've ever wrestled after all it is the top 8 guys condenced into one tournament. So how i got to state? well after getting first at reigon, i was given the 3rd seed at lower state. I won three of my matches there the seconed two against rivals of mine, and then proceded to the finals where i lost against the #2 kid in the state by 3 or 4 points because i was rushing to score at the end. So i got seconed. Pretty good for a 10th grader. Btw i'm the only 10th grader in my bracket. So chemistry is a really cool class, i love how it explains all the natrual proccesses we observe everyday. Algebra 2 is also pretty cool, and so is Ap euro. I think i like all my classes. *sigh* so i'm glad the seasonis coming to an end, i'm going to focus on school work and things for my resume.

[Thu'um]

Alright. So i went to sate friday. My first match i should have won, but i dun screwed up and got pinned. Then i went and beat my rival 8-4. The next match would go on to 3 and 4th but i lost by a point. So i got sixth and the other guy got 3rd. But i'm content. I'm only a sophmore and i'm competeting with the big boys.

[Thu'um]

So with wrestling being over I suddenly have found myself with more time on my hands then I know what to do with. My chemistry class is a blast. I love the subject, as far as a non-militant career I think it might be what I want to do in life. History is also going great. We recently united Germany and Italy which were both brilliant acts by Prussia and the piedmont btw. The politics they employed to do it are brilliant. I hate to say it but I feel the need to post here less and less. Maybe because I'm coping with stress better? I dunno. What ever the case I'm going to continue and try an post when I can. I've started riding with the cheerleader across the street again, mary, which I'm really great full for. She gets to school a lot faster then the bus but she is also fun to talk to. She has been telling me about these kids she whaches for a daycare at the local elementary school. Some of the things she tells me are horribly depressing. Like how the majority of these children, whom are in the 2nd grade swear and curse all the time. Not only that but they're aware of sexual slangs and actions. I'm sorry for them. I really was comfortable with swearing in till the 9th grade and even then I hardly ever use it. Even worse is what they know about sex..... I'm really not sure what got talk about. Usually I come here to express some of my deeper thoughts but I'm really at a loss with those for now. If anything is good for praying, it's stress. It's those time I really turn to god for help and comfort. But I'm going to try an be closer at all times. That really just means praying. I go to church a lot and I try to be Christ like when I can. So I've been thinking....what really is honor. Now of course we all associate that as a warriors pride or spirit. That which he can only violate through dishonorable acts . But what is exactly dishonorable? I know what I think.

[Icy]

There are a lot of people who have broken away from us, which is only the way of things, but what will happen. Will I always know icy, and lone wolf and user?

 

Well I dunno about the others, but I intend to stay in contact with all my best friends online, so no worries.

I sometimes wonder about the Internet in general, and how much longer it will exist. Can it be replaced? Hm.

 

As for your latest post, glad you're doing well, at least. This is usually a dead time of year for me and most people I know, however this year it seems just the opposite, which is great.

 

And really young people knowing all this stuff nowadays is frightening, but it's just the changing times and we have to live with it, whether you like it or not. :

[Thu'um]

First I'd like to apologize for these giant paragraphs . The iPad seems incapable of splitting them as I tell it to.

[Thu'um]

 

Well I dunno about the others, but I intend to stay in contact with all my best friends online, so no worries.

I sometimes wonder about the Internet in general, and how much longer it will exist. Can it be replaced? Hm.

Most intresting question...I'm thinking eventualy it will be replaced just like the telegram was replaced and swords and bows have been replaced. The question is by what? Its hard to fathom somthing that is better, but thatbecause we have no notion of how bad or slow what we have is intill somthing revolutionary comes along.

[Gestalt]

Guys. Hey. Hey Guys. I know! Guys. Internet. GUISE. INTERNET IN OUR ARE FREAKING BRAINS.