SFO Daily

[Xortberg]

It's all in good fun. Perhaps it'd help to start adding a disclaimer stating that nothing in this topic is meant to be taken seriously?

[Milkyway64]

SFO Daily: Volume 4

I'm a terrible paper writer. I deliberately dropped my job because of a vidya game, and I don't even care. It's my time and I can spend it how I damn well please! Although, now that I am doing it, I realize I have nothing to write up for a story, so I hope you like filler, folks.

So there I was, reading threads like a bawss (Note: because -some- people are that crazy about fame, User showed me the thread with the art yadda yadda. Icha Icha drew the piece. There we're all good.) when my personal friend Tony, also known as King of the Shrooms (17) looked over at the most inoppertune moment. He caught sight of a risque Fara fanart piece and seemed to react pleasantly. Moral of the story is he's a pseudo furry I guess?

Yeah. I got nothin'. I need some more material for next time.

["User"]

SFO Daily: Volume 4

I'm a terrible paper writer. I deliberately dropped my job because of a vidya game, and I don't even care. It's my time and I can spend it how I damn well please! Although, now that I am doing it, I realize I have nothing to write up for a story, so I hope you like filler, folks.

So there I was, reading threads like a bawss when my personal friend Tony, also known as King of the Shrooms (17) looked over at the most inoppertune moment. He caught sight of a risque Fara fanart piece and seemed to react pleasantly. Moral of the story is he's a pseudo furry I guess?

Yeah. I got nothin'. I need some more material for next time.

You failed to give me credit for linking you to that piece of art! D:

[Milkyway64]

Yes I did. :3

[Xortberg]

You could have reported on the intense debate over Saurian's status as a language. That would have been funny.

Son, I am disappoint.

["User"]

Yes I did. :3

Make sure you tell the full story next time! :3

[Milkyway64]

SFO Daily: Volume 5

Due to admittedly quite foreseen circumstances, I took a break from my job here. But now I'm back and this time with a little more story material. I was alerted that last time I forgot to go over the Saurian language. Which reminded me of something else. Not sure how relevant these two are, but better late than never!

So recently we've had users posting and shouting in Saurian. This has brought up some concerns amongst the populace, mostly through the ones who have no idea what it is or is about. For the uninformed, it's a cipher, a code like Final Fantasy's Al Bhed, that some fans will use. To understand it, you will need to google a translator and copy/paste messages through. Quite a hassle. Especially when entire conversations start being written in it. What should be done about this is unclear. I personally vote the death sentence, but that's because I'm a jaded badass with a pen.

Secondly, the pony war. We seem to have two factions around SFO, those known as bronies and those sick of the bronies' hee-lair-ee-ous antics. The bronies nor the ponies need no introduction, and neither does this war. As it turns out, it's over. Imagine that. Missing this story while it was fresh was a failure on my part.

Onto the new. The SFO podcast is going to arrive soon, and I have an exclusive leak for you all. Apparently, it will have the strongest pro-Krystal arguement yet. Krystal fans, rejoice, as your defense is here. Haters and debaters, also rejoice, as for once a legitimate challenge may be on the way. The battle begins this weekend, folks.

[Deploy]

^ I can't wait for the SFO podcast.

And... there were "pony wars"? I like the show, but it's nothing to get in internet wars about. Can't we just get along?

"No, this is the internet. TROLLOLOLOL"- Troll Face

Also, the constant Saurian from so many people is starting to annoy me. I don't want to use a translator so often.

BTW, Milky, your avi is still win. :)

["User"]

Onto the new. The SFO podcast is going to arrive soon, and I have an exclusive leak for you all. Apparently, it will have the strongest pro-Krystal arguement yet. Krystal fans, rejoice, as your defense is here. Haters and debaters, also rejoice, as for once a legitimate challenge may be on the way. The battle begins this weekend, folks.

Why wasn't I notified of this? I must be falling behind the times. >_>

[Fluxy]

Onto the new. The SFO podcast is going to arrive soon, and I have an exclusive leak for you all. Apparently, it will have the strongest pro-Krystal arguement yet. Krystal fans, rejoice, as your defense is here. Haters and debaters, also rejoice, as for once a legitimate challenge may be on the way. The battle begins this weekend, folks.

Oh Milky, *Rolls eyes* Heh. Either way, these are pretty interesting, and so long as you keep finding these new leaks, you probably can keep this up easily. =P

[Milkyway64]

SFO Daily: Volume 6

Redeemer has lost her mind! She was sighted earlier cackling madly at nothing at all. When questioned, she said that she was laughing at the word "shitters." She went on to say that it was funnier than normal profanity because it had two T's. Her blood/alcohol level at the time is unconfirmed.

Yeah, I don't think I can make a story off this, so the rest of this issue shall feature a submission sent to me. Depending on how this goes, it may be a regular collumn right next to my genius articles. It's a fanfic reveiw section where renowned snob and jerkass Xortberg, well, reviews fanfics.

Worlds Collide beta test No. 1 is a fanfiction trying to crossover Sonic the Hedgehog, Dragonball Z and Star Fox and can't decide if it wants to be serious or funny. You know, that sort of thing you see on Fanfiction.net and suspect to be a fanboy's attempt to force his own sense of humor on readers all the while trying to answer those age-old questions like “Could Sonic outrun Goku?†and “What does team Star Fox do in their time off?†For the record, the answers are respectively no and buy jackets, which apparently has a juvenile backstory that was never fully explained and I can only assume is what the young team told their parents they were doing when they snuck off to play the Lylatian equivalent of D&D.

But hey, maybe it's not going to be tha-

Dammit. It opens with a demonic figure in the Void. Shoot me.

Oh, but hey! Now we're in the bright, cheery Blue Ridge Zone! Hooray, a peaceful scene! Oh wait, we can't have that, can we? Nope, in comes the infamous Shadow, running at breakneck speeds while performing acrobatics. Odd that he's running, since I could have sworn his whole gimmick was rocket skates (which, by the way, is quite possibly the only cool thing to have come out of Shadow the Hedgehog) but I'm far from an expert in the field of Sonic the Hedgehog mythos.

While my poor neck was still recovering from that little bout of mood whiplash, we get thrown for yet another loop when Sonic rushes onto the scene. No, really. He's rushed. One minute, Shadow is running along and the next, Sonic is right there criticizing Shadow and we have no indication of how he saw everything that happened without running along himself – which I imagine would be pretty hard not to notice, so Shadow's either an unobservant idiot or Sonic is just so good at being creepy that he can stalk people at supersonic speeds and not be noticed.

Anyway, we get a bit of playful banter between the two, which to me seems a bit out of place considering Shadow is basically designed to be the polar opposite of Sonic. But here they are, joking about and being chummy. Okay, whatever. I can dig it. What I can't is that the two race to a human city to eat chili dogs and Shadow gets “forced†to come to Sonic's party later that day. I put forced in quotes because all that really happened was Sonic said “HURR YOU PLAYED A JOKE ON ME SO YOU HAVE TO COME TO MY PARTY†and Shadow put up no resistance whatsoever, despite the author's insistence that Shadow hates parties.

Whatever. Let's skip ahead to the good parts. Yeah, there was some bit about a party and people trying to hook Sonic and Amy up, but that's boring. But then, the party's interrupted by some kind of explosions in the distance or something, so of course our two hedgehogs go to see what's up. Getting there, they see a guy with long black hair and a tail. He attacks the two, for no apparent reason other than he's a dick, and after they dick around a bit two other people show up and the identities of our mystery guests are revealed.

Well, shit on a lamp and call me mookie. It's Raditz, Goku and Vegeta. There's a bit of classic DBZ padding in there, what with Raditz and Vegeta comparing powerlevels like people on the Internet talking about who's got the biggest penis, and Vegeta goes to kick some ass. He does, until Raditz turns into a monkey which, for some reason, makes him untouchable despite the fact that Vegeta's power level was five times his own, plus Goku is now joining in.

I would bitch about the author not being consistent and the power levels being completely arbitrary, but that's pretty much how it goes in the show, so I suppose I should instead congratulate him on staying true to the source material.

Anyway, Shadow totally saves the day and kills Raditz, the two fly off with the Saiyans, and somehow they suddenly wind up 700 years in the future or something like that. I had trouble following what was going on, but it seemed like a bunch of arbitrary exposition to explain why Sonic and Shadow couldn't just go home without finding the Dragonballs.

There's a bit more exposition about the demonic figure from the prologue, who has also recently teamed up with Freiza, and suddenly we're on the Great Fox watching team Star Fox go through an ordinary couple of days. I would go into greater detail, but honestly, it's not all that important. They do a training sim, joke around and act like little kids, snigger about 'buying jackets' and then go take a day off.

Yeah, we get an entire segment where we follow the team around the mall and watch them shop. Yippee. Honestly, while I have nothing against plots like this where nothing important happens, it doesn't belong in a fic where worlds are apparently colliding and the multiverse is at stake to a demon and Freiza. Especially not after we've already had an action-packed couple of chapters and are expecting more action. The end of the chapter doesn't even set us up for more action or plot. It ends with Falco and Fox leaving the store and going to meet up with Slippy. Exciting.

Granted, this could be a lot worse. It's not nearly as much a case of bad writing as it is this story not knowing what the hell it wants to be. The grammar was flawed, but not horribly so, and it was a hell of a lot longer than most things I've ever bothered to write. I've definitely read worse. Of course, coming from me, that doesn't mean a damn thing.

Please not that the above piece was written purely for the lulz. Do not take anything in it seriously, as I haven't actually read seriously enough to formulate more than a passing opinion of the fic.

[Deploy]

lol @ Xortberg reviewing fanfics...

[Redeemer]

You guys want to sell my tears!

Edited June 24, 2011 by Redeemer
Typo from night before